Granted! The card is faulty, and shorts out the buyer's computer, which catches fire and burns down his house. You are sued for $2.5 million.

I wish my vegetable garden hadn't completely died in this drought.

Granted! There is a small plant in your yard that talks and asks you to "Feed me, Haladir"

I wish I could be an Iconic for the Pathfinder Roleplaying Game.

You become known as the iconic that always dies, beating out Lem and Valeros.
Congratulations, Tirq.

I wish I could read more about the pathfinder iconics.

Your wish is granted! You get to read more about Ezren's regular bowel movements *their a bit runny....*

I wish that had a turkey sandwich, light on the black pepper, on fresh rye bread, with a small amount of mayo, mustard and lettuce.

Har har har. Tirqy sandwitch.

I wish I knew what sound a tree makes if it falls and no one is there to hear it.

This.

I wish TV had more anime.

It does, in Japan.

I wish I could visit japan.

Granted however you get lost and kidnapped by a fox spirit

I wish that I could work form home.

Granted! You're now a homeless panhandler. Anywhere you panhandle is "home."

I wish my mom didn't feel she had to call me every day.

Since you don't always respond, she now calls you every hour.

I wish my mom could call me.

You get a phone call. It's your mom. She's in jail.

I wish American Congressmembers were required to wear clown wigs while in session.

Your wish is granted, now they wear wigs, but no pants.

I wish my eye sight would improve.

You can see for miles, and miles, and miles, and miles, and miles, and miles. Oh, yeah.

I wish for a lolipop encased in ice and a chainsaw.

Granted. You're not sure how to get the lollipop out of its frozen chainsaw encasement.

I wish for an absinthe lollipop.

Granted, but you get the batch with too much absinthe, paint sunflowers, smoke opium and cut off your head to have it delivered to your lover.

I wish my days off wouldn't go so quickly.

You wish is granted, you're only active at night.

I wish I could talk sense into some people.

You do, but as usual the morons misunderstand you.

I wish DJED would come to my office so I could charge him a lot to fix his eyesight.

Granted! But you inadvertently give him laser eyesight (it's a popular correction treatment) and he fries you before you get his money.

I wish I could sleep normally.

Your wish is granted! At 10pm every night, you fall asleep instantly, no matter where you are or what you are doing. You sleep for 8 hours despite any manner of interruption. If you were on fire, you'd sleep through it until you were a cinder. You wake up at precisely 6 am every morning and you are to utterly unable to sleep in, no matter how hard you try. You are also unable to nap.

I wish my dry erase boards weren't cracked and scuffed up.

They just melted into a nice even puddle.

I wish my assistant's broken foot would heal quickly so she can come back to work.

Oh, she works alright. I don't see how she needed her foot for that, but you'll be expecting some black mail from her, and a short letter from your soon-to-be-Ex-Wife.

Man, I wish my minis would come in to the store sooner.

Granted! They actually arrived last week, but the clerk didn't realize they were Tirq's special order, and sold them to someone else. And now, the manufacturer has stopped production.

I wish I had more free time for game prep.

Your wish is granted! You're fired! (So many wishes come down to that simple twist.)

I wish the tent I bought a couple weeks ago was the tent that was actually advertised, not some other tent that I didn't want.

Your wish is granted! Unfortunately, you've developed a severe allergy to the great outdoors, and stepping outside of a sealed environment would cause to fall into uncontrollable (and simultaneous) coughing and sneezing fits.

I wish that I could pay off all of my debts.

Granted, but as soon as you pay it off, the president removes everyones debt. Sorry about wasted money mate.

I wish I was not so sleepy.

Granted! You just drank 10 cans of Red Bull. You're not sleeping for days.

I wish I didn't have to cook tonight.

Granted! You remember that vegetables can be eaten raw. Unfortunately, eating the meet raw leaves you with salmonella.

I wish I had wings!

Granted! You are now a maxi-pad.

I wish I knew whether I should pre-order Inquisitor or not.

You should pre-order it. Unfortunately you order from a scam phishing site.

I wish I went to bed an hour ago.

Granted, but all for nothing. You're favorite dream's in reruns.

I wish Hebrew National sausages lived up to their kosher claims.

Granted, but they are now only made of grain.

I wish I had a sammich. not a Zombie sammich, and I don't want to be made into a sammich, just want a sammich.

Granted! You have a sammich made with rye, hummus and tripe. Infinite variations of this also appear in your fridge since you weren't specific about toppings.

I wish shaving my face was a less bloody affair.

Wish granted, just stop using your girlfriend's old leg razor.

I wish I can finish my prison map for the contest in time.

You finish it in time. It's so freakin' amazing! So amazing in fact that you would have won first place if you weren't disqualified for finishing it on time via a corrupt wish. They also burned said map (something about demon monkey paws or something...)

I wish corrupt wishes weren't a bad thing.

Granted, they are no longer bad things for us, but they're still bad for you.

I wish for a long and elaborate way for corrupting the wish "I wish I had a Pony."

Your wish is granted, they are now worse.

I wish the remnants of Hurricane Isaac would pass by so I can have fun outdoors this weekend.

Consider your wish corrupted.

I wish I could accomplish nothing today.

Man, I'm good.

Charles: It passes by with no problem, except that it destroyes your home, your car, everything.

DJ: You accomplish nothing unimportant today. You'll be working for days apon days to get everything important done.

I wish for my earlier wish.

Cool! Charles got Ninja'd by Tirq while he was nijaing me, as I ninja'd Ninjaotic.

I don't feel like looking back to find your earlier wish, It just doesn't work. Period.

I wish I wasn't so lazy today.

Man, I'm good.

Charles: It passes by with no problem, except that it destroyes your home, your car, everything.

DJ: You accomplish nothing unimportant today. You'll be working for days apon days to get everything important done.

I wish for my earlier wish.

A duplicate of you appears wishing for your last wish, which triggers the whole set of events that came to pass until you wished for your last wish, which becomes a vicious circle of duplicate wishers appearing out of thin air over and over and over...

//EDIT//
Damn, DJ-Bogie... Ok.

For the rest of the day, every time you'd feel laziness, instead, you take the nearest object and use it, which leads to very uncomfortable moments with the lady in front of you while standing in line, while In the toilet, while...

I wish my neighbor didn't scream so loudly every night she has uhm... night-time activities and actually let me sleep.

Your wish is granted. She now bangs on your door every night asking for some cocoa butter.

I wish this thread would go away.

Granted, this thread goes away on a wonderful trip to Gehenna. It returns renewed and full of vile and corrupt ideas it would like to inflict upon all.

I wish I could find a house to rent that it isn't rundown, infested or in a scummy neighborhood for a reasonable price that I could afford.

You find a fantastic house in a great neighborhood so reasonably priced you think you are back in the eighties. The day after you move in a meteor lands on it.

I wish I could breathe underwater when I wanted to.

Granted! But you can only breathe above water once every ten years.

I wish my leg cramp would go away.

Granted! Your leg has been amputated.

I wish my cats would stop fighting.

They stop, but now they scream at the tops of their lungs "AAAADRRIAAANN!!!!" in the middle of the night. Go figure.

I wish I would stop being compared to my brother.

Granted. You are compared to Chuck Norris and found wanting.

I wish the next wisher's wish would be removed by Ross Byers.

Granted! You serve a rubber chicken by mistake, and your in-laws are sorely unimpressed.

I wish for a million dollars.

[EDIT: Looks like the last post got removed, but the notice of the removal also got removed.]

Your wish is granted. Because it is un-earned income, you are taxed at 75%. Also, you have to pre-pay the same amount next year for your estimate.

I wish I was the 1000th post in the Corrupt the Wish Thread.

Your wish is already granted, so instead I'll just throw some pies at you until you die from embarassment or from Cholesterol overdose.

I wish the next poster will have a good day.