Corrupt the Wish


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The Exchange

Granted! Its now free, with a $99.99 tax.

I wish my room was cleaner.


A tidal wave washes in one window and out the other. Empty is clean, right?

I wish I could think of a really cool wish that couldn't be corrupted.


DJ-Bogie wrote:

A tidal wave washes in one window and out the other. Empty is clean, right?

I wish I could think of a really cool wish that couldn't be corrupted.

You think of how cool it would be if we had someone from Paizo post in this very thread.

I wish to steal DJ-Bogie's Wish.

The Exchange

Granted! The Genie police take you away. Stealing is bad, M'kay?

I wish.. I wish.. I WISH.. I wish my computer wouldn't die so quickly.


Granted, it locks up and dies slowly.

I wish Windows would stop making new versions and just improve the one they have.

Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2015 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2013 Top 16

Your wish is granted! No corruption necessary on that one, really....

I wish I had better mini painting skills.

Lantern Lodge RPG Superstar 2015 Top 16

Granted! Your painting skills have improved from terrible to fairly bad.

I wish diet Dr Pepper tasted more like regular Dr Pepper.


Granted but its secret ingredient is radioactive

I wish Nicolas Cage would stop making movies


Granted, he stopped making good movies about 10 years ago.

I wish my hair wasn't so grey.

The Exchange

Now its silver.

I wish I could combine a Kitten with a Rocket.

Scarab Sages

Granted! You have created Kitten Megaman. He blows you up and eats your powers.

I wish for the TSA to be completely abolished and permanently dismantled, and for every employee and official it presently employs to be forever barred from any position of authority.


Wizards of the Coast buys TSA and ruins it like they ruined TSR.

I wish I could go back to work late today.

Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2015 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2013 Top 16

Your wish is granted! You go back to work late due to getting stuck in a 3 hour traffic jam.

I wish I had another can of spray paint just like the one that just ran out in the middle of the job.


Granted! The arrow on the nozzle is pointed backwards, and you and spray yourself in the eyes.

I wish I could fly like Superman.


Granted! Superman get jealous and beats you up.

I wish I could read minds

Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2015 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2013 Top 16

Your wish is granted! No twisting necessary. When you discover what other people actually think, but never say, your faith in humanity is forevermore annihilated.

I wish Silence of the Lambs was on Netflix streaming.


Wish granted
Silence of the Lambs is streaming on Netflix,
but your in the movie as one of the victims.

I wish to have the ability of "Data Drain" without a chance for a shadow to be formed and no problems with it, and it can't be removed, used on me, or cause bad luck to others.


You get caught in an endless loop of downloading 12 year old girls text messages.

I wish for a nice day.

Scarab Sages

Granted! The clouds are made of cotton candy and the sun is a giant smiley face!

Everybody starts panicking and rioting because they think it's the end of the world and the sunspots that make up the smiley face cause every sort of electrical disturbance imaginable all over the world including a 12-years-late Y2K bug disaster and satellites fall out of the sky all over the place and it rains cotton candy which gets everything all icky and sticky and then it reacts with the broken electrical equipment all over the place and turns into napalm and then Longcat and Tacgnol come out of nowhere and so do Godzilla and Batman and it's the ultimate showdown for ultimate destiny BLEEEEEEAAAAARRGGGHHHH!!!

I wish Texas either seceded from or was kicked out of the Union and was reabsorbed by Mexico.


Granted! King George I of the New Texas Empire then conquers the rest of North America and drills for oil everywhere.

I wish my car was fixed and out of the repair shop.

Scarab Sages

Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber; Pathfinder Maps, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber

Granted. You get your car back, along with the bill. It is so large you can't buy gas to run it for the next 6 months.

I wish for a Ferrari.


Granted!
you get your Ferrari for a deal of a price of $50,000
only to find out it was stolen and is now impounded as evidence.

I wish for Nothing


Granted! The Universe divides you by zero and *POOF* you don't exist.

I wish I was an astronaut.


Dr. Evil straps you to a rocket and launches you into outer space.

I wish Polaroid film were still available for a reasonable price.

Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2015 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2013 Top 16

Your wish is granted! You're in 1970!

I wish I hadn't had to cancel the game tonight.


You didn't, but due to a weird texting / email conflagration, 500 people show up at your house.

I wish it were 1970, Starting Senior year was pretty good.


Granted, welcome to the year 41970. you are promptly executed as an example to the rest of the imperial guard by your platoon's commissar for playing your heretical RPG.

I wish for a strip of velcro and about a meter of thread. oh, and a sewing needle.


Granted, you have all three of those objects, and nothing else -- in a locked room with a ticking timebomb. Hope you're MacGuyver!

I wish I was MacGuyver.

The Exchange

Congradulations. You're MacGuyver, an unemployed hobo living in Quebec! The cold one!

I wish I had an Artichoke.


It get's stuck in your throat and you choke on the Artichoke, Ironic isn't it?

I wish for a good book to read.


It starts raining Bibles.

I wish my car wasn't such a piece of junk.


It broke in half and now it is TWO pieces of junk.

I wish I had accomplished more today.


Granted! The police are now knocking on your door regarding that unauthorized fund transfer...

I wish I was in Boston.

Scarab Sages

Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber; Pathfinder Maps, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber

Granted. You are now a part of Boston Baked Beans.

I wish I hadn't given up playing a musical instrument.

Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2015 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2013 Top 16

Your wish is granted! To the dismay of your friends, you are now a persistent, and insistent, kazooist.

I wish I had a good book to read.

The Exchange

Signore di Fortuna wrote:
It starts raining Bibles.

I wish I could tell jokes,

*Dons Sunglasses*

Like Horacio.

YEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHH!!!


Granted. Of course, in Hamlet, Horatio isn't very funny.

I wish I was a star of stage and screen.

The Exchange

"The Phantom of the Opera that takes things a Step Further than the Normal One, Esquire." will soon decide that you would make a perfect Foam Star in his theatre's next preformance of "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, I Kill People" Writen and Directed by "The Phantom of the Opera that takes things a Step Further than the Normal One, Esquire."

I wish for a Philly Cheesesteak sandwich from freshly cut and cooked Beef, Certified Grade "A" by the Geneva Convention Swiss Cheese, Freshly baked French bread made from the Flour, water, and yeast. I also want it delivered to me when it is made, not years after, and that the Deliverer would not ask for a tip, and makes it here and back safely.


Your sandwich is delivered safely, but it is determined to be the most perfect Philly Cheesesteak sandwich in existence by the shadowy organization of sandwich connoisseurs. You are promptly declared unfit to be the caretaker of the sandwich and you are "killed accidentally" in a worchestire sauce mishap. The sandwich is then enshrined with a small plaque saying "Once owned by Tirq...a saucy fellow".

I wish Pepsi tasted better.


Granted: You are transformed into 6 year old Molly Hutchins who thinks Pepsi is the best tasting stuff on earth and won't drink anything else.

I wish I would get up and go home.


Granted! You die, and your corpse animates as a zombie. You get up and go home to eat your family.

I wish that we all lived in a yellow submarine.


OK, but 6 Billion people in 1 Sub, the air is going to go bad fast!

I wish I could think of a better wish.


Granted, but since it costs a wish to think of a better wish, you never actually get to wish for a super-model girlfriend (who would have secretly been a sucubus).

I wish that I would ace my remaining finals this week.


You ace your finals, but your school decides that students aren't really retaining the information and spring more finals on you two weeks from now.

I wish Alone in the Dark 1+2+3 would win GOG.com's Battle of the Games later today.

Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2015 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2013 Top 16

Your wish is granted! It wins, but your Internet connection goes down for a week so you can't buy it until the promo is over.

I wish my cats didn't shed.


Here you go! Your cats are cryogenically frozen for 2 months. When they emerge, they are hairless.

I wish Adam Sandler would stop making movies.


Wish granted, he never started.

I wish I wasn't so sleepy right now.

The Exchange

Your wish is my command!

You fall asleep at your keyboard. When you wake up, you'll have

uiop
jkl;
nm,.

stuck on your face.

I wish I had 2 cents.


Granted! You can only taste and touch things. Oh, you meant 2 pennies? Your bank account is emptied (save for 2 cents) and given to DJ-Bogie so he could buy a new keyboard. Oh, and about that senses thing, I'm too lazy to reverse that. Just think of it like this: You got two wishes for the price of one.

I wish I could remember how to use Microsoft Excel.

Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2015 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2013 Top 16

Your wish is granted! You remember how to use Microsoft Excel 1.0 on MS-DOS. Oddly enough, that knowledge is less useful than you might imagine since it's older than students graduating college this year.

I wish I had an encyclopedic knowledge of classical music.

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