I'm waving my dick in the wind
waving my dick in the wind
if it all goes right, I'll be in your arms tonight
but I'm wavin' my dick in the wind
I'm lost in the sauce once again
I'm lost in the sauce once again
If I make it through the night
everything will be alright
but I'm lost in the sauce once again
Its been 97 days since i've laid my head beside you
and a million miles of highway in between
there's some red and blue lights that are shinin' right behind me
and that pig's a pretty mean bastard
You should have seen old Jimmy Wilson dance
you should have seen old Jimmy Wilson dance
give that boy a dime and you could have a chance
to see old Jimmy Wilson dance
dance Jimmy...
I've got a real good feelin bout' old Jimmy Wilson
sho' nuff' he's got what it takes
do another number for me please won't ya Jimmy
cause you're a really good dancer...
Im wavin my dick in the wind....
On this edition of JMD031’s famous rants, Llamas. What on earth am I going to (expletive deleted) talk about in regards to llamas. All I know about llamas is that they are mammals and they are used in the same manner as donkeys and goats are here up north. Other than that I know there is a bit in Monty Python and the Holy Grail about llamas. Which means I don’t know jack (expletive deleted) about llamas. But that hasn’t stopped me before! Now I’m not entirely certain on this but I believe that llamas have a tendency to spit and also have pretty nasty tempers. So that makes them pretty (expletive deleted) disgusting animals. I mean I’ve seen pigs living in their own (expletive deleted) and that’s probably the only other animal that is more disgusting to me. I made a comment earlier that llamas are akin to donkeys and goats and would appear to be some weird hybrid animal with all of the bad parts of both. They are (expletive deleted) stubborn and are pretty much just used as beasts of burden. So why are llamas so important? (Expletive deleted) if I know. I know they are primarily used in countries that have a lot of mountains and they are good climbers so they do have that going for them. Wikipedia says: llamas originated in the central plains of North America about 40 million years ago and then migrated to South America about three million years ago. You know what? (Expletive deleted) Wikipedia. That’s right, you heard me, (expletive deleted) Wikipedia. How could anyone know that? Was there anyone around 40 million years ago to know exactly where these animals originated from or are they just guessing based off of (expletive deleted) fossils. That whole thing sounds like a load of garbage anyways, 40 million years ago…might as well be 100 million years ago. Alright, this rant is looking to be a tad on the long side and I’m certain most of you won’t even read it…unless you are a llama sympathizer. Tune in next time when I will rant about that (expletive deleted) guy who said I should stop ranting. Man that was a while ago…I’m going to have to bring up his post so that everyone will even remember that. (Expletive deleted)! That means I have to (expletive deleted) go back through the (expletive deleted) thread. (Expletive deleted) me.
Remaining topics to rant about:
That (expletive deleted) guy who said I should stop ranting.
[Redacted]
Followers of [Redacted]
That darn draft that keeps coming in through this thread
Come on folks, I'm running out of things to rant about here. And truth be told it looks like the last three are all about Doodlebug and his insanity...I might be able to do a three-fer but then I'll have nothing to rant about. So, I'm asking you members of the OTD forum to help me, you are my only hope. ...members of the OTD forum to help me, you are my only hope.
*hits droid*
Stupid thing was stuck on repeat.
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Alright, this rant is looking to be a tad on the long side and I’m certain most of you won’t even read it…
Huh? What?
I wasn't talking to you.
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I wasn't talking to you.
Your rants are an insult to rants. This is not your thread. It is my thread, and you know it! When He returns in 12/21/2012, you will be the first person to feel His wrath!
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[Laughs villainously]
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I looked, and there before me was a pale horse! Its rider was named Death, and Hades was following close behind him. They were given power over a quarter of the World to kill by sword, famine and plague, and by the Wild Ones of the World.
Book of Leafar 6:8
Give me a day or two, I'll come up with something from the news papers.
I wasn't talking to you.Your rants are an insult to rants. This is not your thread. It is my thread, and you know it! When He returns in 12/21/2012, you will be the first person to feel His wrath!
I said I wasn't talking to you, Doodlebug.
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Yipyipyipyipyipyipyipyipyip!
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I am not a peasant, I don't wait to be addressed before I speak.
All praise Leafar!
Monsters, monsters, where did I put my Monster Summoning spells. JMD hear are some monsters you should and could rant.
01. The Rancor
02. The T-1000 - a construct, but a monster none the less
03. H.R. Giger's Alien - What's life with a killer bug or two...
04. Liches. Why? Ever since Twiligh vampires are irrelevant and over-rated.
05. A Zombie Apocalypse, a personal favorite of mine
06. The Kracken from Clash of the Titans
07. Mimics, Dopplegangers, and other living shape-changers...
08. Orcs
09. Dark Elves
10. Dragons
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Such things are nothing more than pi$$ in the wind before the might of Leafar. I fear for all who don't believe.
Such things are nothing more than pi$$ in the wind before the might of Leafar. I fear for all who don't believe.
As do I.
Monsters, monsters, where did I put my Monster Summoning spells. JMD hear are some monsters you should and could rant.
01. The Rancor
02. The T-1000 - a construct, but a monster none the less
03. H.R. Giger's Alien - What's life with a killer bug or two...
04. Liches. Why? Ever since Twiligh vampires are irrelevant and over-rated.
05. A Zombie Apocalypse, a personal favorite of mine
06. The Kracken from Clash of the Titans
07. Mimics, Dopplegangers, and other living shape-changers...
08. Orcs
09. Dark Elves
10. Dragons
Hmm, sounds good to me.
No llamas either. Reminds me, I need to kill and skin a certain critter. My old cloak from the second era is rotting away something fierce. I need something new for my phylactery...
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There is still much you do not understand, my Acolyte. We are not for or against the Disciples of the Anti-Christ. They simply ARE! We will leave the Earth before they destroy it...
It's true. There is much I don't understand.
All praise Leafar!
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There is still much you do not understand, my Acolyte. We are not for or against the Disciples of the Anti-Christ. They simply ARE! We will leave the Earth before they destroy it...It's true. There is much I don't understand.
All praise Leafar!
We don't know the truth of it all. The silver spaceships will save the believers. Everyone who doesn't will burn up.
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Hee hee!
I hope it doesn't make a schismatic, but if The Book of Leafar and After the Gold Rush (album or song) are in concordance I am going to be a very, very happy goblin.
I was lying in a burned out basement, etc., etc.
[bubble bubble bubble]
It's all making sense now. Leafar the Lost is just the ramblings of a stoned out goblin and his friends.
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It's all making sense now. Leafar the Lost is just the ramblings of a stoned out goblin and his friends.
In the end you shall believe, JMD031, but then it will be too late. You must come to accept that you are not Human at all, but simply a machine that looks Human. You do not have a name; you just have a serial number!
The world will only be destroyed if I choose it to be so and I have not decided on that yet. I may not decide to allow you to flee this apocolypse either. For it is in my power to stop it. Ah poor Doodlebug you need only come back and drop your persona and all will be forgiven.
"All Hail the Golden God."
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The world will only be destroyed if I choose it to be so and I have not decided on that yet. I may not decide to allow you to flee this apocolypse either. For it is in my power to stop it. Ah poor Doodlebug you need only come back and drop your persona and all will be forgiven.
The world will only be destroyed if I choose it to be so and I have not decided on that yet. I may not decide to allow you to flee this apocolypse either. For it is in my power to stop it. Ah poor Doodlebug you need only come back and drop your persona and all will be forgiven.
You're that Leafy guy, right? God complex, may or may not be (probavly is) a delusion from a goblin, very hipocritical, doesn't want people to reply to your thread... That about sums it up.
Also you got it wrong, you're supposed to scream:
"All will hail the Godlen God" All other imposters and pretenders will fall to the way side."
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The world will only be destroyed if I choose it to be so and I have not decided on that yet. I may not decide to allow you to flee this apocolypse either. For it is in my power to stop it. Ah poor Doodlebug you need only come back and drop your persona and all will be forgiven.
Yes we know exactly who you are Doodlebug Anklebiter.
"All Hail the Golden God" "Down with Doodlebug of the Anklebiter Clan."
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The world will only be destroyed if I choose it to be so and I have not decided on that yet. I may not decide to allow you to flee this apocolypse either. For it is in my power to stop it. Ah poor Doodlebug you need only come back and drop your persona and all will be forgiven.
You're that Leafy guy, right? God complex, may or may not be (probavly is) a delusion from a goblin, very hipocritical, doesn't want people to reply to your thread... That about sums it up.
Also you got it wrong, you're supposed to scream:
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"All Hail the Golden God" "Down with Doodlebug of the Anklebiter Clan."
Ooh! That's entirely over the line, pal! I'm flagging that shiznit! That's copyright infringement or something!
Also, all praise Leafar!
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"Bring it on Doodlebug, the Clan is behind me on this one. Worshipping some weird human instdha a real thing to get behind a Golden idol.
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Alright, ha, ha, ha, it's funny, you've got my face.
And, haha, you can make some funny jokes about your dumb Golden God.
But now you're slandering my peeps, my fams, my kith and kin.
You're flirting with forces beyond your comprehension, Humperdink, and you'd be well-advised to bacdafucup.
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Yo.
Hmm, if I'm a robot then that means I'll get to survive the apocalypse. Your logic is flawed Doodlebug.
The world will only be destroyed if I choose it to be so and I have not decided on that yet. I may not decide to allow you to flee this apocolypse either. For it is in my power to stop it. Ah poor Doodlebug you need only come back and drop your persona and all will be forgiven.
You're that Leafy guy, right? God complex, may or may not be (probavly is) a delusion from a goblin, very hipocritical, doesn't want people to reply to your thread... That about sums it up.
Also you got it wrong, you're supposed to scream:
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Again, I ask for order, civility and discipline. Whatever the belief of Lord Leafar, he is the presiding and legal author of this thread. Volume will be kept at a tolerable level.
His fevered conspiracy theories of the AM's aside, I am told that Asmodeus himself now supports Lord Leafar. I will not speculate on what contracts were signed that brought about this change of heart. I am simply here to enforce order.
We've got Hellknights, yo!
On behalf of the other AM's, AM CAVALIER would like to say that we are against Mr. Doodlebug for his inflamatory statements about us.
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Again, I ask for order, civility and discipline. Whatever the belief of Lord Leafar, he is the presiding and legal author of this thread. Volume will be kept at a tolerable level.
His fevered conspiracy theories of the AM's aside, I am told that Asmodeus himself now supports Lord Leafar. I will not speculate on what contracts were signed that brought about this change of heart. I am simply here to enforce order.
AM Hellknight clearly has wisdom. Despite his moral problems, Asmodeus is not stupid. He sees the writing on the wall. Earth will be destroyed on December 21, 2012. He has no choice but to support me.
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On behalf of the other AM's, AM CAVALIER would like to say that we are against Mr. Doodlebug for his inflamatory statements about us.
Alright, ha, ha, ha, it's funny, you've got my face.
And, haha, you can make some funny jokes about your dumb Golden God.
But now you're slandering my peeps, my fams, my kith and kin.
You're flirting with forces beyond your comprehension, Humperdink, and you'd be well-advised to bacdafucup.
Anytime you want to try and bring the funk and bring the noise you just try heathen devil worshipper. I am following a true god.
"All Hail the Golden God"
"All Hail the Golden God"