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It just occurred to me that, outside of a Star Wars convention, the Paizo messageboards have the greatest concentration of people who could recite the dialogue of Classic Trilogy.
"Luke! Got tell your uncle Owen that Darth Vader is your real father!"
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still have the T after go
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Yeah, that happens at four in the morning when you're trying to ignore your ear infection. :-(
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"None of that'll matter once we're famous musicians"
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"Commander Solo, do you copy?"
"I'm sorry, who were you looking for?"
Commander Solo! It's good to..."
"I'm sorry, who were you looking for?"
"Sigh...Carlos Spicyweiner, do you copy?"
"Carlos Spicyweiner here, go ahead!"
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Last night's session was all about the soundbites.
They were on their way to Katapesh, working as guards on a trading ship in exchange for passage.
Valeros overhears two sailors making inappropriate remarks about Kyra and Merisiel. I ask him, "What do you do?"
My four-year-old replies, "I walk up to them and say, "I see that you have forgotten your manners. I'm going to walk away from you now."
Then just so he isn't disappointed, I have him roll an intimidate check, which of course he nails.
A few days later, a sailor with his daily ration of grog in his hand approaches Ezren on watch and says, "And what can a wizard do as a guard that a good, honest man can't?"
My daughter says, "Kyra taps him on the shoulder and says, "Wand of Fireballs?"
She says it a cutesy sing-song voice like Dot from Animaniacs.
Ezren performs a cantrip to make the man's tankard light up and glow.
It was a good game. And, hey, we made it to Katapesh!
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Children?
Innocence?
*chuckle*
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Saw one of the General's friends from high school (and partying on the weekends during college).
Awesome!
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"General, prepare your troops for surface attack."
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"Good! Our first catch of the day!"
"Like you know anything about fishing!"
This man has some skill.
Those are pretty nice. I wonder if he does anything other than longswords?
I'm assuming you mean besides the shield, shoes, hemlet, "cat tax" thing, (questionably called) "armor"... ;D
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This man has some skill.Those are pretty nice. I wonder if he does anything other than longswords?I'm assuming you mean besides the shield, shoes, hemlet, "cat tax" thing, (questionably called) "armor"... ;D
Sorry - I meant any swords other than longswords.
I figured! ... but I couldn't resist. XD
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So, that 1-2 inches of snow we were supposed to get Monday.
yeah. That's now 6-9 inches of snow Sunday night through Monday.
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So, that 1-2 inches of snow we were supposed to get Monday.
yeah. That's now 6-9 inches of snow Sunday night through Monday.
no need to thank me.
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I'm having my second ear infection ever (my first was 21 years ago) and boy, does it suck!
But I guess I can scratch pouring alcohol and vinegar in my ear off the ole hypothetical bucket list.
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"Mom! Do you have Diarrhea Of A Spider!" - Tiny T-Rex, looking for his new favorite book, Diary Of A Spider.
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We were each given 500 gp to get our gear for a new campaign.
Everybody else was sane and got their primary weapon, armor, ranged weapon, secondary weapon, a backpack, bedroll, and rations, and had some gold to spare.
Me, though?
scale mail
masterwork large-sized bastard sword
5 javelins
2 daggers
shortsword
light wooden shield
warhammer
backpack
bedroll
winter blanket
chalk
crowbar
flask
flint and steel
grappling hook
3 belt pouches
portable ram
7 days of rations
10 torches
3 waterskins
cold weather outfit
shovel
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My wife got Masterwork Stilts. :-)
And 200 Fortune Cookies.
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The boys love the Angry Birds tv show, I don't get it. The characters are disembodied heads, and there is no dialogue.
I don't even
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The boys love the Angry Birds tv show, I don't get it. The characters are disembodied heads, and there is no dialogue.
I don't even
Look for Rabbids Invasion, they speak in gibberish and it's made by Nickelodeon France (so you know it's going to be weird). My kids love it! Especially the first episode (which might be free on ITunes).
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FaWtL: I'm considering opening my Beginner's Box, soon, to play with my boys and wife in a family game. What should I know? Thanks!
... also...
*drum-roll*
Family Gaming Update for no real reason:
Tonight, super-excited about the idea of playing Pathfinder Beginner's Box, while we were getting ready for bed, my Eldest (after some options listed by me) made a human "sneaky, tricky rogue" named "One-Stack" - he finds this suitably hilarious, as it's the name of a boat of his in a different game - and I had myself my little plush Luigi make a "big, strong, brave fighter" named (cleverly enough) "Luii" - who is secretly Valeros, but whatever, and also is loosely based on both Luigi himself and Wind Waker Link (we have a long-running in-joke, in which Plush Luigi believes that he and Link are the same for various extremely minor and entirely ridiculous reasons) - and so they met for the first time in the town of Sandpoint in the country of Varisia.
I will spare you the rather long and detailed version of the endlessly hilarious introduction of the idea of a "sap" and how Plush Luigi couldn't tell the difference between tree sap (he thought it would be a terrible weapon) and the actual sap weapon, and how hilarious a "small but really really heavy slightly floppy club" was - each of those things was a new, tremendously hilarious joke - while Plush Luigi's confusion at the difference between a club that you swing as a weapon and a club where you dance, and the inevitable collision of joketastrophe when a club weapon was like a heavy branch from a tree, that led to sap from a tree, which led to sap being used as a weapon, "They are the same." "No, Luuu-weeee-jeeee~! HAHAHAHAH~! THEY EAT YOU~! AH-HAHAHAHAHAH~!" and so on. Just suffice it to say that this probably took up most of our time. Eventually, he settled on having one of those equipped.
Anyway, getting back to the game. I started to list restaurants, but never got passed my first - the Hagfish - which was chosen because my Eldest needed to taste some of the fish there. He wouldn't even allow me to say more, beginning an ever-louder chant "Hag-fish! Hag-Fish! HAG-FISH! !" until I gave up trying to list others and let the characters meet there.
He was delighted by the hideously slimy Hagfish, and at Luigi's Luii's shock that the very pretty name "Nora" was given to such a hideous creature. He actually paid attention to the (rather excessive on my part) details of the heavy-wood-and-cloth curtained walls that could be opened up (based on my experience with a few dock-side restaurants in the Bahamas) to see the sea and docks, and the big boats, and rustic design.
In any event, at an extremely busy Hagfish, the two sat down for "luuuuunnnnnch, or maybe dinneeeerrrr..." and had to share a table, as it was the only space available in the restaurant, which is more than okay with Luii, who looked forward to meeting a new friend. Similarly, One-Stack was eager to meet a new friend, so they were seated together, and, of the fish options I listed, Eldest One-Stack quickly ordered "the first one" (i.e. fried - he had considered blackened, but decided against it) and demanded it be Rainbow Trout (which, I think he envisions as an exotic rainbow-colored fish, even after it's cooked; I remain unsure, even though I've clarified that this isn't the case with him), while Luii ordered grilled salmon (which, as my Eldest learned, was a pink fish, when cooked).
It was served soon enough, and just as they were talking (Luii introduced himself as a big, strong, brave, fighter; One-Stack introduced himself as a sneaky, tricky rogue) they'd had a delicious bite or two each of their food when a woman screamed, and then a man. Then several people. The "big, strong, brave" fighter worried for a moment, but the "sneaky, tricky" rogue leapt up and declared he charged "that way!" (toward the sounds), as "I wanna help and stop tha bad-guys!"
It was goblins (or something like them)! As I explained: they're like moblins from the Legend of Zelda, only much smaller - they're not as small as miniblins, but smaller than moblins! (I should have compared them to bokoblins, only smaller, instead... but I accidentally called them moblins.)
Luigi Luii managed to roll higher in initiative and got to the first bad guy - a goblin-like creautre! - and rolled just well enough to hit (my Eldest did the math for Luigi, after we told him the numbers and where to "look" on Luii's "sheet"^^), doing a nice amount of damage to take it out! (By jumping on his head, of course, ignoring the sword he had in-hand, obviously.)
But then Luii was being flanked *cue mild explanation* Oh no!
Fortunately, my Eldest One-Stack was there to save the day! A quick Stealth Skill *cue mild explanation* d20 roll^ (it was a success!), and then Attack Roll *no explanation needed* and then a d6 Damage Roll *cue mild explanation* ("d6 is makin' it hard on me, 'cause it's so small tha' I don' know what to chooze~!") complete with Sneak Attack *cue mild explanation* extra damage! Anyway, that was one "super-dead" (per my Eldest) goblin! (Because he "jumped on his head, like Luii.) So much for leaving them alive with a sap!
(As an aside: genuinely, the kiddo managed to guess really high on the d20 rolls. "I'M GETTIN' SUCH HIGH NUMBERS~! I~! LOVE~! NUMBERS~!" *jump on bed in excitement, before slamming onto his pillow and biting it to see what happens next*)
Oh, good! Luigi Luii wasn't flanked anymore! But oh, no! It was the last goblin's turn! Luii was worried that he couldn't survive. "Jump, Luii, JUMP~! DOD-J 'IM AN' JUMP~!" So, because of the encouragement of my Eldest One-Stack, Luii fought defensively. As I haven't looked at the Beginner's Box, and literally one person, once ever, actually decided to fight defensively, I kind of forgot what the rules were; so, instead, I noted that I'd have to look them up later, but, since I'm the GM, I'm making a temporary ruling (and I got the approval of both of the players, i.e. my Eldest and myself Plush Luigi); he got a +4 to his defense value - his "AC" - but took a -4 to his attack value.
It worked! There was a scary moment when the goblin would have hit, just based on d20+attack v. Luii's AC... but that +4 managed to put Luii's AC at one higher than needed to avoid getting hit! Huzzah!
Now it was Luii's turn again! He rolled an attack! Huzzah, it totally hit, 'cause it was the same as last time! (... what luck! >.> *ahem* XD)... but wait! He was taking a penalty for fighting defensively! (I ignored the fact that you usually have to decide before-hand for this instance.) So... this time it was a miss! Oh, no!
My Eldest, er, One-Stack, quickly apprised the situation. I explained he could just run around to flank the goblin (but the goblin could try to attack him), or he could try to roll an Acrobatics Skill "tumble" d20 roll to get there - if the Acrobatics Skill tumble was a success, there would be no attack. What did he want to do? "I wanna run over an' hide inna bushes, so I c'n jump out an' go 'BOO~!' at th' enemy!"
Me: "Uh... okay..."
Eldest: "Daddy, you know I'm gonna attack 'em an' kill 'em, right? I mean, he's a bad guy, but when I say, 'I wanna jump out an' go 'BOO~!'' I mean I wanna kill 'em."
Me: *blink* "Yes. That makes sense." (I may be doing something really right, or really wrong, raising this kid.)
Anyway, he does really well on his Stealth Skill, so he manages to hide.
But it's the goblin's turn! Luii - at One-Stack's urging - does the defense again! But the goblin rolls really well this time! Oh no! OH NO, LUII IS HIT! Luii was scared! But! Luii, I explained, was a "really tough" fighter - the goblin, because it was small, only dealt d6 damage, and because Luii wasn't Flat-footed *cue mild explanation and/or hilarious joke* or Surprised, he couldn't use the Sneak Attack - that meant he could only do 6 damage, at most, and Luii had 10 health or Hiy Points! The goblin dealt 4! Luii then attacked, and managed to hit, despite the penalty (this time it was only by 2!) and then he ran (provoking an attack that missed!) just passed One-Stack's hiding bush!
As the goblin rushed up, Sneak Attack! It was a shining success, and the goblin was gone.
My eldest was SO DAGUUM EXCITED and informed Luii (before I'd had a chance to say anything) that they got to get all sorts of stuff and keep it, from the goblin! So daggum hype~!
He then informed me that there was a little miniblin, "Who was runnin' away from his parents!"
Me: "That's not good! Not good at all!"
Eldest: "No, it's bad ta do that... hm. But... weren't... hm."
Me, thinking quickly: "... unless his parents were really, really bad guys. Were they really, really bad guys?"
Eldest: "Oh! Yeah! They were the bad guys that attacked the people!"
Me: "So running away from them was trying to stop being a bad guy!"
Eldest: "Yah! An' they came here ta' attack people and put him back inna bad prison - like a good prison, but bad guys do it!"
Me: "Right!"
Eldest: "So I make him my friend an' he travels with us, now!"
Me: "Uh..."
Eldest: "An we'll be best friends 'cause he's SO CEEEYYYOOOOOT'!"
Me: "Well HOLD ON-!" *ahem* "You need to roll me a Charisma Check"
Eldest: "I don't know wat 'dat is-"
Me: "It's a d20 roll. You know like the difference between Strength and Strength modifier? It's right here on your sheet^^. So, you have a +1. So it's-"
Eldest: "ONE-STACK ROLLS A d20 PLUS ONE~!"
Me: "Yes, but, first..."
Plush Luigi: "I WANNA HELP-A!"
Me: "Okay, Luii, you can help. Roll a d20."
It was an 11! Exactly 1 higher than he needs to make an Aid Another check, so my Eldest One-Stack gets a +2 on his next Charisma check.
There was then a moment of confusion where my Eldest had thought he'd rolled the d20 already, and had gotten a 20 - I'm not entirely sure if he was trying to snow me, or was just so sleepy he'd started dreaming of his "perfect 20" (his words), but either way, I made him roll it again.
It wasn't a twenty, but it was a nineteen! Plus +2 from Luii and +1 from One-Stack's charisma made an impressive +22!
But! The miniblin had to make a Will Save *cue mild explanation* - and it was a natural 1!^^^ The celebration was immense, and I said goodnight, then we said our prayers, and I kissed my Eldest and left my plush Luigi with him for the night, so he could talk to him all about their plans for their new little miniblin "forever-friend" (the Eldest's words) who'd, as I explained, turned away from evil to good, and decided to follow One-Stack, "like a pikman" (my addition to the whole thing).
(That Plush Luigi is totally mine, not his, though. I keep him, sometimes.)
It was, over-all, a good experience.
^
^^
^^^
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...
...
...
... free bonus!
Miniblin Stats:
XP 50
Minblin commoner 1
N(E) Tiny plant (goblinoid)
Init +4; Senses darkvision 60 ft., low-light vision, scent, tremorsense 60 ft.; Perception -2
DEFENSE
AC 17, touch 16, flat-footed 13 (+1 armor, +4 Dex, +2 size)
hp 3 (1d6)
Fort +0, Ref +4, Will +0; +8 vs. fear
Defenses plant traits
Weakness magical weakness, unbalanced
OFFENSE
Speed 15 ft. (can only move by Acrobatics to Jump)
Melee tiny 'blinfork +4 (1d2-2)
Ranged tiny 'blinfork +4 (1d2-2)
Spell-like Ability (CL 12th, +8 Concentration)
- 1/week - alarm (requires a 10-minute dance ritual)
STATISTICS
Str 6, Dex 19, Con 10, Int 15, Wis 10, Cha 2
Base Atk +0, CMB -4 (+6 trip with surprisingly dangerous), CMD 10
Feats
Skills Acrobatics +8, Craft (cook) +6, Ride +12, Stealth +20 Racial Modifiers +2 Acrobatics, +4 Ride, +4 Stealth
Languages miniblin
Special Qualities emotionless mien, fearless, surprisingly dangerous, weapon familiarity
SPECIAL ABILITIES
Emotionless Mien
Miniblins have a difficult time expressing or understanding genuine emotion. As a result, they do not gain the benefit of effects with the [emotion] descriptor, despite actually feeling emotion.
Fearless
Miniblins gain an additional +8 bonus against all fear checks. Though they can be affected by fear, and generally experience it often, it rarely controls them.
Magical Weakness
Though they are plants, miniblins are rather susceptible to magic. They may be affected normally by mind-affecting effects and polymorph effects, and they automatically fail any saves against illusion effects.
Surprisingly Dangerous (Ex)
Miniblins can be surprisingly dangerous. As a result, they use their dexterity modifier instead of their strength modifier for determining attack.
Further, whenever they flank a creature, or catch it by surprise, they first increase the base minimum damage they can deal by +2, and also gain an additional bonus to their attack and damage rolls equal to their dexterity modifier (this stacks, even if they normally get their dexterity modifier to damage through other means). Additionally, upon a successful attack in this case, they may make a free trip combat maneuver as if they were four sizes larger, using their dexterity instead of their strength, and with a +2 bonus. During any such attack, damage, and trip attempts, they ignore their Unbalanced penalty.
Unbalanced
As sorcerous creations, the design of the miniblin was always quantity over quality, leaving it consistently "lowest common denominator" as they were made from leftover scraps of spare power - as a result, they all from a lack of balanced design and symmetry. This leaves them all staggering about, overly stiff, and continuously mildly dizzy and intoxicated. No matter how used to it they get, this leaves them with a -2 penalty on all attack rolls, weapon damage rolls, saving throws, skill checks, and ability checks. This effect is identical with (and overlaps with) the sickened condition.
Weapon Familiarity (Ex)
Miniblins are familiar with the 'blinfork, and treat it as a simple weapon. This is the weapon they choose as a commoner.
- Gear
- tiny haramaki (fragile)
- tiny 'blinfork (treat as fragile sickle with P damage, range 10 ft.; if thrown or broken, it vanishes into a puff of smoke at the end of the miniblin's round, and the miniblin gets a new one at the start of its next turn; it persists as normal for a fragile weapon if the miniblin dies, however)
- tiny spark eternal candle (hooked red-brass candle holder with a common wax candle; allows use of spark cantrip 1/week; otherwise may be ignited or snuffed once per day, and never burns low; usually there is one or two per community, and sometimes there is rope to hang it from)
- large-size iron pot (often there is one per community)
Note:
Miniblins recieve a -4 Str, +8 Dex, -4 Con, +2 Int, -2 Wis, -6 Cha stat adjustment.
These exceptionally small creatures generally weigh even less than normal for creatures of their size, roughly equating about 3/4 of a pound. This, combined with their unusual dimensions, makes them pretty solid creatures to throw.
Chu Jelly
The red ones can acquire fire resistance 15 and +2 circumstance bonus to damage for the day with a dose of red chu jelly; the blue ones gain a swim speed equal to twice their land speed and can breathe air or water for a day with a dose of blue chu jelly; and the yellow ones weigh less (about 1/4 lb.) and thus can be thrown further, and with a dose of yellow chu jelly can gain resistance to electricity 5, a +2 intelligence (and bonus skill rank with +2 racial bonus in Demolitions for +9) for the day; while the green ones gain acid resistance 10, the ability to breathe air or water, a +1 circumstance bonus to damage, and 1 rank (+6 bonus) in Demolitions for 12 hours with a dose of green chu jelly.
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[Attempts to match Tacticslion's word count]
[Insert twenty five word application for McDonald's here.]
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Ha! No Daylight Saving trickery on me this year!
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F~%$ YOU, DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME, YOU EVIL BASTARD F@@#TARD.
I have less than an hour and a half to make frosting and turn four mini-loaf cakes into a train carrying superheroes, make the pasta sauce for later, clean the kitchen, shower, dress, get breakfast more or less into the kids, and get to choir practice no more than fifteen minutes late.
And I'm saying this here because everyone else in the house is still asleep so I have to freak out *quietly*.
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Tac, I might have missed it, but they didn't drink Nora's tank water, did they?
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Freehold! What is Best in life ?
I sincerely hope that burger is made out of my enemies.
|
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Freehold! What is Best in life ?Food is always good.
I really want Paizo to add a Cosplay and Food section.
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That first fight scene in the stairwell is my kind of fight scene.
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That first fight scene in the stairwell is my kind of fight scene.
that was f&%$ing awesome
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I KNOW, RIGHT‽
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You know what is horrible?
When you see a big stray crumb of chocolate cake on the countertop and you pick it up and pop it into your mouth only to discover that it is, in fact, a big chunk of mushroom dirt from the mushrooms you're chopping for the pasta sauce.
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Condolences, lisamarlene.
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Hey, but I got the Justice League Train Cake complete!
Even though my daughter thought J'onn J'onzz was Cthulhu, and Firestorm looks like a member of Motley Crue, and the feather in Green Arrow's cap looks like a giant yellow dong, and Black Canary is sort of melting, I'm sort of almost kind of proud of it. Flash looks good. And the oreo wheels and the raisinettes on the top of the coal car are nifty. But it looks like it was decorated by a blind monkey with palsey.
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And I don't want to hear about DC vs. Marvel. My kids like the Justice League, it's a f!+&ing Justice League cake. Plus Spiderman. End of f*~*ing discussion.
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(Yes, I'm in a bad mood. I have to miss singing with my choir this morning to prepare all this stuff and my husband took the kids to church without me, and even the last remaining dog is still asleep, and I am panicking in my kitchen all by myself with my stupid f%#@ing laptop for company and the cake didn't turn out as well as I had wanted it to and I'm trying not to cry. FGUUUUUUUCK F$@% F@!@ITY F*#&ITY F~#!.)
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NobodysHome's random Sunday Morning Tirade:
All of a sudden, our resource-gathering minion quest lists were clogged up with, "You can't do this quest unless you pay real cash for it" quests. Yes, you could shuffle them out of your queue, but it was a multiple-times-a-day annoyance. Then came the "Unstable Cache Anomalies"; again, treasure chests that could only be opened for real cash. Even worse, the stuff *in* the chests was absolute garbage -- within a week of their being released, the auction house was inundated with them, all offered essentially for free. (I know I sold/discarded 300-400 in the first couple of weeks.)
The final straw was the "Starfall Prophecy Ticket Fiasco". As always, Trion offered bonus currency if you pre-ordered the expansion set. As always, the original end date came and went and Trion continued to hand out tickets like candy. As we had been trained over 5 years of the game, we hoarded the tickets, waiting for the offer to end so we'd know our grand total and could decide what to spend our hoard on.
The end date came and... they deleted all the tickets from all users' inventories!!!!!
Not only is deleting digital currency a fundamental breach of trust between host and consumer, but this was in variance with every single currency they'd issued in the past: Shiro's player, who'd been playing since beta, had currencies in his inventory that hadn't been used in 4-5 years, yet were still around and still valid.
So we complained. And the director of consumer relations basically said, "Tough nuts! You should have listened to our livestream! Not our fault you can't pay attention! And besides, we gave you far more tickets than you deserved."
THAT is 'consumer relations'?!?!?!?!
All we wanted was an apology. Instead, we got, "Shut up you whiny luzers!"
Our entire guild packed up and left the game. This is significant because we're a bunch of tech workers. Trion was making a stupid amount of money annually from our guild. (I'm honestly embarrassed to list the annual total, but it's more than many people's rent. EDIT FOR CLARITY: Our annual total was more than most people's monthly rent. Not annual rent. We weren't THAT psycho!)
We moved to Final Fantasy Online, and oh, man, what a difference! It's a subscription model, so they're not desperately begging you for cash everywhere. In fact, you CANNOT SPEND REAL CASH in-game as far as I can tell. You have to go to their web site to spend money, where they show the real costs in plain old dollars, and they clearly explain, "This will only apply to one of your characters, and is only usable once. Please check here to acknowledge that we've told you this."
Every time I log in, all the important announcements are in my chat, not on some livestream I have to go off and listen to.
I just don't feel the greed, nor do I feel any pressure whatsoever to spend any money beyond the plain old subscription fee.
Yet in 2 days of play they've already sold 4 basic packs, 3 expansions, a 6-month subscription, and a couple of cosmetic items.
All for not being greedy b**tards.
What a concept! :-O
Rant over!
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(Yes, I'm in a bad mood. I have to miss singing with my choir this morning to prepare all this stuff and my husband took the kids to church without me, and even the last remaining dog is still asleep, and I am panicking in my kitchen all by myself with my stupid f***ing laptop for company and the cake didn't turn out as well as I had wanted it to and I'm trying not to cry. FGUUUUUUUCK F++@ F&$#ITY F**&ITY F$%+.)
You realize that I wake up at 5 am even on weekends, and some have said that I know how to cook, or am at least an excellent sous chef.
A little late, but I'm just sitting here doing Impus Major's chemistry homework for him. Because... stupid!
EDIT: Of course, you've never seen me bake. I am rather infamous for the hideousity of my baking creations. Back when I used to do lemon cakes for the bake sale, my cake would sit there, untouched, until every other bit of pastry was gone. At which point someone would finally grudgingly buy a piece, unable to control their sugar addiction any longer. And they'd say, "Holy carp! This is GOOD!" and the cake would be gone 5 minutes later.
But ugly, ugly, UGLY baking...
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The carp dropped a crop of crap on the carpet.