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24,551 to 24,600 of 24,609 << first < prev | 483 | 484 | 485 | 486 | 487 | 488 | 489 | 490 | 491 | 492 | 493 | next > last >>

Pulg wrote:
Should we start calling our old friend GithToucher, or would that give him Ideas (Ideas that he's already had, I bet) ?

I do enjoy a nice floppy elbow...


It's fun when they use their psionic powers to access your mind in an attempt to access your darkest fears to use against you. I don't even resist: I just let them right in.

Have you ever heard a Gith scream itself hoarse as it claws out its own eyes? I'll make a recording for you next time, but I fear it won't do the sound justice: they scream with their minds as well.

It's a singular experience. It never fails to arouse.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

...


I have no knowledge of those tasty, tasty owls. If anyone ate them, it would have to have been my evil clone. She is quite dead, so no problems there.


Someone has played paranoia before. Always blame it on the dead guy.


What would happen if Sissyl and Manshoon had a clone-off, do you think?


Sissshoon!

or manissle.

Scarab Sages

DOOM.


Well that was boldly put.

(yeah I made it back.)


SISSHOON DOES NOT CARE ABOUT THE MORAL RULES OF WEAKLINGS.


Eheh. Sorry about that. I doubt it would be a good idea. I will also never have a goatee.


You just have to believe in the goatee.


You could probably make one appear when required with a simple cantrip.


A wise man once said "It's not the beard on the outside, but the beard on the inside that counts."

The point is: You need to eat a man with an evil goatee.


Who? All the available men with beards have more beard than a biker convention.

Sovereign Court

You do know, Sissyl, that you've only ever been to dwarven bike conventions. Even then, the dwarves were all girls.


You don't have a goatee either! See, guys, this is difficult! And I can think of hundreds of more fun things than eating Pulg.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Action Hank.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Sissyl wrote:
You don't have a goatee either! See, guys, this is difficult! And I can think of hundreds of more fun things than eating Pulg.

Name them.

And I don't have an evil goatee; I am an evil goatee.


Anything not involving eating a mass of hairy hair hairball?


I Can think of hundreds of more fun things than eating Pulg...

Hell, I could think of at least fifty more fun things to do with Pulg.

Sovereign Court

And there's absolutely NO need to tell everyone! Because you have written all of them down in your new best selling autobiography: "How to Pulg up the works". Available now in all good book shops.


Everything was fine until he tried to introduce the space whale into proceedings, somewhen around number 35.


I will now perform a dramatic reading of How to Pulg Up the Works Chapter One: "A Time to [REDACTED]"

"Pulg and I had known each other for several years, and I had him over for tea and light entertainment one Sunday afternoon. As a gift, I had prepared a [REDACTED] for him to enjoy, but he seemed quite put of by the prospect.

"I'm not going to [REDACTED] with that [REDACTED]!" he said, growing quite perturbed. "What kind of [REDACTED] would [REDACTED] a [REDACTED]? It's sick!"

Finally, he declared "I'd rather [REDACTED] than [REDACTED] a [REDACTED], and, as far as I'm concerned, you can [REDACTED] until you [REDACTED]!"

As you might imagine, this was quite disappointing. I took up my bell and rang it briskly. Jambi appeared a few moments later.

I directed Jambi to take our guest to the [REDACTED] so that he could [REDACTED] until later in the evening. Pulg protested, seemingly quite alarmed at the prospect, but Jambi is rather a bit stronger than he looks, and the two adjourned to the [REDACTED].

When I came to visit him later, Pulg was in quite a state, and favored me with all manner of invective. I changed from my salon clothes into a kit more appropriate for [REDACTED], and entered the [REDACTED].

Over the next several hours, I [REDA--- :upon hearing this description, you mind fugues to a delightful childhood memory as a defense mechanism. Perhaps a birthday party, or a trip to the beach! At any rate, you come back to yourself a indeterminate amount of time later:

"... and that brought the first day to a close. It would prove to be quite an auspicious beginning."


1 person marked this as a favorite.

The following words and phrases should be substituted for the redacted text in the previous post:

Self-raising flour.
Powdered sugar.
Gas mark 4
Egg whites
Whisk
Knead
Sift
Frilly apron
Martha
Rainbow frosting
Doily
Cupcake
Marshmallows
Teatime with Barbie.


Of course!

Sovereign Court

We interrupt this thread to bring you a special news bulletin: people (more specifically, library goers and those that love to read books) have been seen unexpectedly combust and become heaps of flames and ash. Local medic wizards say that they are working as fast as they can to restore everyone. As for the cause of the systematic mass combustion of the population, that still remains a mystery.

In other news, GoatToucher's latest book "How to Pulg up the works" has become the number one best seller.


Though i've heard they were all returned and refunds were demanded.

There were apparently too horrifying details in it.


the rare return of FF


Oh, you're a fan of the hotdog restaurant Frank's Furter's too, Vidmaster?


Is that located in transsexual Transylvania?


I thought it was in Polynesia, so called because everyone there has lots of knees.


Now hold up their pulg. I thought that old guy up their ^^^ was jokey the unfunny comedian?

(I keed I keed I actually enjoyed that one.)


Me too!


I gived the weasel man a joke for Thanksgiving! I "mustela" been feelin' generous!


Did you seen the documentary about people in sub-Saharan Africa being assaulted by sexually aggressive male elephants?

I'm told it's a musth.


I ain’t lion, these puns are the bee’s antelope.

Sovereign Court

Alright, now all you people are just getting plain ridiculous!


Getting? count they have already been there.

Dark Archive

*paralyzes Vidmaster7 with wasp venom on a blowgun dart, then surgically replaces his beard with that of a barbazu/beard devil, ritually sacrifices the old beard to Yog-Sothoth - all while Vidmaster7 is entirely conscious*


Eh I've had worse... on this thread alone.


Man, you’ve really lost your edge, Skiron. Just one sacrifice? Regular wasp venom? Come on, this isn’t amateur hour!


Very poor. Regulations require giant centipede or better. Report to the Old Man's office after the hasheesh frolics are over, please, Skiron.


.


riveting.


How dare you?


what mister dot?


Really?


*best shrek voice* really really.

Scarab Sages

*rides by on back of Burmese python with cybernetic wheels, snatches the Win on the way past Vidmaster7*

24,551 to 24,600 of 24,609 << first < prev | 483 | 484 | 485 | 486 | 487 | 488 | 489 | 490 | 491 | 492 | 493 | next > last >>
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