The Random Song Lyric Thread


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Scarab Sages

Ilu hotzianu mimitzrayim,

v'lo asah bahem sh'fatim,

dayeinu!

Ilu asah bahem sh'fatim

v'lo asah beloheihem,

dayeinu!

Ilu asah beloheihem,

v'lo harag et b'choreihem,

dayeinu!

Ilu harag et b'choreihem,

v'lo natan lanu et mamonam,

dayeinu!

Ilu natan lanu et mamonam,

v'lo kara lanu et hayam,

dayeinu!

Ilu kara lanu et hayam,

v'lo he'eviranu b'tocho becharavah,

dayeinu!

Ilu he'eviranu b'tocho becharavah,

v'lo shika tzareinu b'tocho,

dayeinu!

Ilu shika tzareinu b'tocho,

v'lo sipeik tzorkeinu bamidbar arba'im shana,

dayeinu!

Ilu sipeik tzorkeinu bamidbar arba'im shana,

v'lo he'echilanu et haman,

dayeinu!

Ilu he'echilanu et haman,

v'lo natan lanu et hashabbat,

dayeinu!

Ilu natan lanu et hashabbat,

v'lo keirvanu lifnei har sinai,

dayeinu!

Ilu keirvanu lifnei har sinai,

v'lo natan lanu et hatorah,

dayeinu!

Ilu natan lanu et hatorah,

v'lo hichnisanu l'eretz yisra'eil,

dayeinu!

Ilu hichnisanu l'eretz yisra'eil,

v'lo vanah lanu et beit hamikdash,

dayeinu!


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Once a jolly swagman camped by a billabong,
Under the shade of a Coolibah tree,
And he sang as he watched and waited till his billy boil,
You'll come a Waltzing Matilda with me.

Waltzing Matilda, Waltzing Matilda,
You'll come a Waltzing Matilda with me,
And he sang as he watched and waited till his billy boil
You'll come a Waltzing Matilda with me.

....................

Down came a jumbuck to drink at that billabong
Up jumped the swagman and grabbed him with glee,
And he sang as he shoved that jumbuck in his tucker bag
You'll come a Waltzing Matilda with me.

Waltzing Matilda, Waltzing Matilda,
You'll come a Waltzing Matilda with me,
And he sang as he shoved that jumbuck in his tucker bag
You'll come a Waltzing Matilda with me.

.....................

Up rode the squatter mounted on his thorough-bred
Down came the troopers One Two Three
Whose that jolly jumbuck you've got in your tucker bag
You'll come a Waltzing Matilda with me.

Waltzing Matilda Waltzing Matilda
You'll come a Waltzing Matilda with me
Whose that jolly jumbuck you've got in your tucker-bag
You'll come a Waltzing Matilda with me.

......................

Up jumped the swagman sprang in to the billabong
You'll never catch me alive said he,
And his ghost may be heard as you pass by that billabong
You'll come a Waltzing Matilda with me.

Waltzing Matilda Waltzing Matilda
You'll come a Waltzing Matilda with me
And his ghost may be heard as you pass by that billabong
You'll come a Waltzing Matilda with me.

Grand Lodge RPG Superstar 2015 Top 32, RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32

From the badlands came the killer
Lived by the knife and the gun
He'd shoot ya just for standin'
Cut ya if you tried to run.

He was big as a tree
He did as he pleased
And everything he did was bad
They said if you was to kill him
It'd only make him mad.

From the goodlands came the cowgirl
Patty was her name
She was hot on the trail of that killer
On a moped she called 'Flame'

'Cause the killer had killed her daddy
Just for spittin' in the road
And you only had to kill Patty's daddy once
To get that gal P.O.'d

Yippe-aye-ayyy, Cow Patty
Yippe-aye-ayyy, Cow Patty
She rode into town to find the man that killed her daddy
Yippe-aye-ayyy, Cow Patty

The killer hit town at daybreak
And ate the door off the local saloon
He started to drinkin'
You could tell he was thinkin'
"There's gonna be a showdown soon"

Patty hit town in a cloud of dust
Old Flame was buzzin' like a saw!
And the whole town got as quiet as a church
As the killer stepped out for the draw.

Yippe-aye-ayyy, Cow Patty
Yippe-aye-ayyy, Cow Patty
She rode into town to find the man that killed her daddy
Yippe-aye-ayyy, Cow Patty

The killer took a step toward Patty
Said "It's time I gunned ya down"
But he slipped in something that was layin' in the street
And was shot before he hit the ground.

Yes, the killer slipped and it cost him his life
And Patty said as she rode out of town:
"You've gotta watch your step
When you know the chips are down!"

Yippe-aye-ayyy, Cow Patty
Yippe-aye-ayyy, Cow Patty
She rode into town to find the man that killed her daddy
Yippe-aye-ayyy, Cow Patty

Scarab Sages

Shut your f%+*ing face uncle f*~&a
You're a cock sucking ass licking uncle f**+a
You're an uncle f%!#a, yes its true
Nobody f*@@s uncles quite like you

Shut your f~+~ing face uncle f!&%a
You're the one that f!$!ed your uncle, uncle f$$*a
You dont eat or sleep or mow the lawn,
You just f#!! your uncle all day long

Hmm!
What's going on here?
OOOoooooooooooooh
F%~@er f$!@er uncle f%&+a uncle f#$!a f@%%a f!$$a f~!*a
Shut your f*@#ing face uncle f#*#a
Uncle f&$%a

You're a boner biting bastard uncle f*&&a
You're an uncle f#*%a I must say
Well you f@&!ed your uncle yesterday
Uncle f%*$a... thats
U-N-C-L-E f&*~ you Uncle
F%*!aaaaaa tonight....


As I walked over London bridge
One misty morning early
I overheard a fair pretty maid
Lamenting the life of Geordie

'Oh, he never stole horse and he never stole kine
He never hurted any
He stole 16 of the king's red deer
And sold them in Kilkenny'

'Go bridle me my milk white steed,
Go bridle me my pony
That I may go before the court
To plead for the life of Geordie'

And it's when she came before the court
With the lords and ladies waiting
Down on her bended knees she went
To plead for the life of Geordie

And the judge he looked over his left shoulder
And he said, 'Dear girl, I'm sorry'
He said, 'Dear girl, you've come too late
For he's been condemned already'

'Oh, let Geordie hang in golden chains
Such chains as never any
For all he came of royal blood
And he courted a virtuous lady'

Grand Lodge RPG Superstar 2015 Top 32, RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32

Two lovers,
Forbidden from one another,
A war divides their people,
And a mountain divides them apart.

Built a path to be together...

Yeah, I don't really remember the next few lines but then it goes:

SECRET TUNNELLLLL!
SECRET TUNNELLLLL!
THROUGH THE MOUNTAINS!
SECRET SECRET SECRET SECRET TUNNELLLLL! Yeah!

Scarab Sages

Pressure pushing down on me
Pressing down on you, no man ask for
Under pressure that burns a building down
Splits a family in two
Puts people on streets

It's the terror of knowing
What this world is about
Watching some good friends
Screaming, "Let me out!"
Tomorrow gets me higher
Pressure on people - people on streets

Chippin' around, kick my brains 'round the floor
These are the days - it never rains but it pours
People on streets - people on streets

It's the terror of knowing
What this world is about
Watching some good friends
Screaming, "Let me out!"
Tomorrow gets me higher, higher, higher...
Pressure on people - people on streets

Turned away from it all like a blind man
Sat on a fence but it don't work
Keep coming up with love but it's so slashed and torn
Why, why, why?

Love

Insanity laughs under pressure we're cracking
Can't we give ourselves one more chance?
Why can't we give love that one more chance?
Why can't we give love, give love, give love, give love, give love, give love, give love, give love?..

'Cause love's such an old-fashioned word
And love dares you to care for
The people on the edge of the night
And love dares you to change our way of
Caring about ourselves
This is our last dance
This is our last dance
This is ourselves
Under pressure
Under pressure
Pressure


This is the song written for the train chase.
This is the chase, Rocky and Ken.
He tried to kill me with a forklift!
Olé!

Now strap in tight, let's get set for action
To launch the ship up off the sand.
He tried to kill me with a forklift!
Huzzah!

Scarab Sages

"Hey, Janet"
"Yes, Brad?"
"I've got something to say" Well then say it, a*$$&~@, don't sing it!
"Uh huh?"
"I really love the What?...skillful F#~+in' genius! way
You beat the other girls with whips and chains...
To the bride's bouquet"
"Oh...oh, Brad"
ZOMG nobody told me this a MUSICAL! RUUUUUN!!! "The river was deep but I swam it
Janet
The future is ours, so let's plan it
Janet
So please don't tell me to can it
Janet
I've one thing to say, and that's Only a&!@!%#s write on church doors!
Dammit Janet, I love you
The road was long but I ran it
Janet
There's a fire in my heart and you fan it
Janet
If there's one fool for you then I am it
Janet
I've one thing to say, and that's
Dammit Janet, I love you
Here's a ring to prove that I'm no joker
There's three ways that love can grow
That's good, bad, or mediocre gay, straight, or bisexual!
Oh J-A-N-E-T, I love you so"
"Oh, it's nicer than Betty Munroe had
Oh, Brad
Now we're engaged and I'm so glad
Oh, Brad
That you met f@~+ Mom and you know blow Dad
Oh, Brad
I've one thing to say, and that's
Brad, I'm mad, for you too
Oh, Brad" OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH BRAAAAAAAAADDD!!!!!
"Oh, dammit" Oh, SHIT!
"I'm mad" I'm PREEEEEEEEEEEEEEGNAAAAANNNT!!!
"Oh, Janet" Oh, SHIT!
"For you IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTT'S YOOOOOOOOOOOUUURRRS!!!
I love you too"
"There's one thing left to do, Let's screw!ah-hoo
And that's go see the man who began it Now let's go f$&$ the man in the casket!
Janet
When we met in his science exam-it What the f~%*'s an 'exam-it???'
Janet
Made me give you the eye and then panic
Janet
Now I've one thing to say, and that's
Bend over b#@&!, I wanna screw! Dammit Janet, I love you
Dammit, Janet"
"Oh Brad, I'm mad"
"Dammit, Janet"
"I love you" I. Wanna. Screwww!

Grand Lodge RPG Superstar 2015 Top 32, RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32

This is the song that runs under the credits.
These are the credits, so this is where it goes.
Has nothing to do with the movie so we'll say,
"Hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey!"

There once was a song that ran under the credits
That went with the movie, but this is not that song.
Has nothing to do with the movie so we'll say,
"Hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey!"

Wouldn't it be nice if the song under the credits
Had something to do with the movie you just saw?
But that's not the case, so for now we'll have to say,
"Hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey!"

There should be a rule that the song under the credits
Remotely pertains to the movie's basic plot.
That rule has not been made, so for now we'll have to say,
"Hey hey hey hey hey hey hey heeeey!"


I've been telling everybody that you're my girl,
Cause I'm not one to be shy.
You don't have to go with me if you don't want to, just
Tell everybody I'm your guy
You and me, girl, it's forever
Sha la la la la laaa
I've been telling everybody that you're my girl,
Cause I'm not one to be shy.

I've been telling everybody that you're my girl,
Cause I'm not one to be shy.
You don't have to go with me if you don't want to, just
Tell everybody I'm your guy
You and me, girl, it's forever
Sha la la la la laaa

You and me, girl, forever and ever
You and me, girl, forever and ever
You and me, girl, forever and ever...

Scarab Sages

2 people marked this as a favorite.

The Inquisition, let's begin
The Inquisition, look out sin
We have a mission to convert the Jews (Jew ja Jew ja Jew ja Jews)
We're gonna teach them wrong from right
We're gonna help them see the light
And make an offer that they can't refuse (that the Jews just can't refuse)

Confess (confess, confess)
Don't be boring
Say yes (say yes, say yes)
Don't be dull

A fact
You're ignoring:
It's better to lose your skullcap than your skull

The Inquisition, what a show
The Inquisition, here we go
We know you're wishing
That we'd go away
But the Inquisition's here and it's here to stay
The Inquisition, oh boy
The Inquisition, what a joy
The Inquisition, oy oy

I was sitting in a temple
I was minding my own business
I was listening to a lovely Hebrew mass
Then these papus persons plunge in, and they throw me in a dungeon, and they shove a red hot poker up my ass

Is that considerate?
Is that polite?
And not a tube of Preparation H in sight

I'm sitting, flicking chickens and I'm looking through the pickings and suddenly these goys break down my walls
I didn't even know them and they grabbed me by the scrotum and they started playing ping pong with my balls

Oy, the agony
Ooh, the shame
To make my privates public for a game

The Inquisition, what a show
The Inquisition, here we go
We know you're wishing
That we'd go away
But the Inquisition's here and it's here to -

- Hey, Torquemada, whaddaya say?
I just got back from the auto-da-fé
Auto-da-fé, what's an auto-da-fé?
It's what you oughtn't to do but you do anyway

Skit skat voodely vat tootin de day

Will you convert?
No, no, no, no
Will you confess?
No, no, no, no
Will you revert?
No, no, no, no
Will you say yes?
No, no, no, no

Now I ask in a nice way, I said pretty please, I bent their ears,

Now I'll work on their knees!

Hey, Torquemada, walk this way
We got a little game that you might wanna play
So pull that handle, try your luck
Who knows, Torq, you might win a buck!
Alright!

Put it in the car

How we doing? Any converts today?
Not a one, nay, nay, nay
We've flattened their fingers
We branded their buns
Nothing is working
Send in the nuns!

The Inquisition, what a show
The Inquisition, here we go
We know you're wishing
That we'd go away
So, c'mon you Moslems and you Jews
We got big news for all of youse
You better change your point of views today
'Cause the Inquisition's here and it's here to stay

Scarab Sages

Way back when I was just a little bitty boy
Living in a box
Under the stairs
In the corner of the basement
In the house half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait Shop
You know the place

Well anyway,
Back then life was going swell
And everything was juuuuust PEACHY!

Except of course for the undeniable fact
That every single morning
My mother would make me a big ol' bowl of
Sauerkraut for breakfast

Dawww
Big bowl of sauerkraut!
Every single mornin'!
It was driving me crazy!
And I said to my mom,
I said, "Hey, mom, what's up with all the sauerkraut?"

And my dear, sweet mother,
She just looked at me like a cow looks
At an oncoming train
And she leaned right down next to me
And she said, "IT'S GOOOOOD FOR YOUUUUUUUU!"

And then she tied me to the wall
And stuck a funnel in my mouth
And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut
Until I was twenty-six and a half years old

That's when I swore that someday,
Someday I would get outta that basement
And travel to a magical, far away place,
Where the sun is always shining
And the air smells like warm root beer,
And the towels are oh so fluffy!

Where the Shriners and the lepers
Play their ukuleles all day long
And anyone on the street
Will gladly shave your back for a nickel!

Wocka wocka doo doo, yeah!

Well, let me tell you, people,
It wasn't long at all before my dream came true
Because the very next day,
A local radio station had this contest
To see who could correctly guess the number
Of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt

I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize
That's right, a first class, one-way ticket
To Albuquerque!
Albuquerque!

Oh yeah
You know, I'd never been
On a real airplane before
And I gotta tell ya
It was really great

Except that I had to sit
Between two large Albanian women
With excruciatingly severe body odor
And the little kid in back of me
Kept throwin' up the whole time
The flight attendants ran out of
Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts
And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore
And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out
And we went into a tailspin
And crashed into a hillside
And the plane exploded in a giant fireball
And everybody died!!!

Except for me. You know why?

'Cause I had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position
Had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position
Had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position

Ah-ha-ha-ha!
Ah-ha-ha!
Aaaauuuugghhh....
So I crawled from the twisted, burning, wreckage
I crawled on my hands and knees
For three full days
Draggin' along my big leather suitcase
And my garment bag
And my tenor saxophone
And my 12-pound bowling ball
And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel!

But finally I arrived at the world famous
Albuquerque Holiday Inn!
Where the towels are oh so fluffy!
And you can eat your soup
Right out of the ashtrays if you wanna
It's okay, they're clean!

Well, I checked into my room,
And I turned down the A/C,
And I turned on the SpectraVision,
And I'm just about to eat
That little chocolate mint on my pillow
That I love so very, very much,
When suddenly there's a knock on the door....

Well, now, who could that be?
I say, "Who is it?" No answer
"Who is it?" There's no answer
"WHO IS IT!?" They're not sayin' anything!

So finally, I go over
And I open the door,
And just as I suspected,
It's some big, fat hermaphrodite
With a Flock of Seagulls haircut,
And only one nostril
Oh, man, I hate it when I'm right!

So, anyway,
He bursts into my room,
And he grabs my lucky snorkel,
And I'm like, "Hey, you can't have that!
That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me!"

And he's like, "Tough!"
And I'm like, "Give it!"
And he's like, "Make me!"
And I'm like, "...'Kay!"

So I grabbed his leg
And he grabbed my esophagus
And I bit off his ear
And he chewed off my eyebrows
And I took out his appendix
And he gave me a colonic irrigation
Yes indeed-y, you better believe it!

And somehow in the middle of it all
The phone got knocked off the hook
And twenty seconds later,
I heard a familiar voice
And you know what it said?
I'll tell ya what it said!

It said, "If you'd like to make a call,
Please hang up and try again
If you need help,
Hang up and then dial your operator
If you'd like to make a call
Please hang up and try again.
If you need help
Hang up and then dial your operator
In A-a-albuquerque!"
Albuquerque!

Well, to cut a long story short,
He got away with my snorkel
But I made a solemn vow
Right then and there
That I would not rest,
I would not sleep for an instant,
Until the one-nostrilled man
Was brought to justice
But first, I decided to buy some donuts

So I got in my car
And I drove over to the donut shop
And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter
And he says, "Yeah, whaddaya want?"

I said, "You got any glazed donuts?"
He said, "Nah, we're outta glazed donuts."
I say, "Well, you got any jelly donuts?"
He said, "No, we're outta jelly donuts."
I said, "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?"
He said, "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts."
I said, "You got any cinnamon rolls?"
He said, "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls!"
I said, "You got any apple fritters?"
He said, "No, we're outta apple fritters!"
I said, "You got any bear claws?"
He said, "Wait a minute, I'll go check."

"NO, we're outta bear claws!"

I said, "Well, in that case
In that case, what do you have?"
He says, "All I got right now
Is this box of one dozen
Starving crazed weasels."
I said, "Okay, I'll take that."

So he hands me the box,
And I open up the lid,
And the weasels jump out
And they immediately latch onto my face
And start bitin' me all over

Oh, man, they were just goin' nuts!
They were tearin' me apart!
You know,
I think it was just about that time
that a little ditty started goin' through my head
I believe it went a little somethin' like this:

DOOOHHHHHHH!
Get 'em off me! Get 'em off me!
Ohhh!
No, get 'em off, get 'em off!
Oh, oh God, oh God!
Oh, get 'em off me! Oh, oh God!
AH, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

I ran out into the street
With these flesh-eating weasels
All over my face,
Wavin' my arms all around
And just runnin', runnin', runnin',
Like a constipated wiener dog

And as luck would have it,
That's exactly when I ran into
The girl of my dreams
Her name was Zelda

She was a calligraphy enthusiast
With a slight overbite,
And hair the color of strained peaches

I'll never forget
The very first thing
She said to me
She said, "Hey.
You've got weasels on your face."

That's when I knew it was true love!

We were inseparable after that
Aw, we ate together
We bathed together
We even shared the same piece
Of mint-flavored dental floss
The world was our burrito

So we got married,
And we bought us a house
And had two beautiful children,
Nathaniel and Superfly!
Oh we were so very, very, very happy, oh yeahhh....

But then, one fateful night,
Zelda said to me, she said,
"Sweetie pumpkin?
Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?"
I said, "WOAH!!! Hold on now, baby!
I'm just not ready for that kind of a commitment!"

So we broke up
And I never saw her again
But that's just the way things go
In A-a-albuquerque!
Albuquerque!

Anyway, things really started
Lookin' up for me,
Because about a week later
I finally achieved my lifelong dream
That's right, I got me a part-time job at the Sizzler!

I even made employee of the month
After I put out that grease fire
With my face!

Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous
Of me after that
I was gettin' a lot of attitude!

Okay, like one time,
I was out in the parking lot,
Trying to remove my excess earwax
With a golf pencil,
When I see this guy Marty
Tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa
Up the stairs all by himself.

So I-I say to him,
I say, "Hey, you want me to help you with that?"
And Marty, he just rolls his eyes
And goes, "NOOOOO, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw!"

So I did.

And then he gets all indignant on me!!!
He's like, "Hey, man, I was just being sarcastic!"
Well, that's just great.
How was I supposed to know that?
I'm not a mind reader,
For cryin' out loud

Besides, now he's got
A really cute nickname - Torso-Boy!
So what's he complaining about?

Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote
This guy comes up to me on the street
And he tells me he hasn't had a bite
In three days

Well, I knew what he meant,
But just to be funny,
I took a big bite
Out of his jugular vein
And he's yelling and screaming
And bleeding all over,
And I'm like, "Hey, come on, don'tcha get it?"
But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk,
Bleeding and screaming, "Aaaahhhh! AaaaahhhhOhhhhh! Aaaaahhhh!"
You know, completely missing
The irony of the whole situation
Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know?

Anyway, um...
Where was I?
Kinda lost my train of thought.

Uh, well, uh, OK, anyway,
I-I know it's kind of a roundabout way
Of saying it, but,
I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is

I.
HATE.
SAUERKRAUT!

That's all I'm really tryin' to say
And, by the way,
if one day you happen to wake up
And find yourself in an existential quandary,
Full of loathing and self-doubt
And wracked with the pain and isolation
Of your pitiful meaningless existence,
At least you can take a small bit of comfort
In knowing that somewhere out there in this
Crazy ol' mixed-up universe of ours,
There's still a little place
Called A-A-A-ALBUQUERQUE!
A-A-A-ALBUQUERQUE!
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)

I said A! (A!)
L! (L!)
B! (B!)
U! (U!)
... querque! (querque!)

(Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque)
(Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque)
(Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque)
AAAALLL...buquerque!!!!!
*buuurp*


Karnı büyük obur dünya
Keder dolu acı dünya
Ne gül koydun ne de gonca
Yedin yine doymadın mı?
Seni okuyup yazanı
Yunus gibi bir ozanı
Koskocaman pir sultan'ı
Yedin yine doymadın mı?
Hacı bektaş-ı veli'yi
İmam hasan hüseyin'i
O mübarek mevlana'yı
Yedin yine doymadın mı?
Fani kurmuşsun temeli
Bilmem sana ne demeli
Koca mustafa kemal'i
Yedin yine doymadın mı?
Dünya dünya yalan dünya
Karnı büyük obur dünya
Yedin yine doymadın mı?

Google's 'slightly' surreal translation:

Karni great gourmand world
Grief is painful world
What did you put the rose bud nor
Do You saturation seven again?
Senior read and write
As a poet Yunus
Pir Sultan of whaling
Do You saturation seven again?
Haci Bektas-i Veli in
Hasan Imam Hussein
He blessed Mevlana
Do You saturation seven again?
You've built the foundation of mortal
I do not know what about you
Koca Mustafa Kemal
Do You saturation seven again?
Earth earth lie the world
Karni great gourmand world
Do You saturation seven again

Scarab Sages

I like to dream yes, yes, right between my sound machine
On a cloud of sound I drift in the night
Any place it goes is right
Goes far, flies near, to the stars away from here

Well, you don't know what we can find
Why don't you come with me little girl
On a magic carpet ride
You don't know what we can see
Why don't you tell your dreams to me
Fantasy will set you free
Close your eyes girl
Look inside girl
Let the sound take you away

Last night I held Aladdin's lamp
And so I wished that I could stay
Before the thing could answer me
Well, someone came and took the lamp away
I looked around, a lousy candle's all I found

Well, you don't know what we can find
Why don't you come with me little girl
On a magic carpet ride
Well, you don't know what we can see
Why don't you tell your dreams to me
Fantasy will set you free
Close your eyes girl
Look inside girl
Let the sound take you away

Scarab Sages

A good song, especially if it's the version sung by Nat King Cole.

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire
Jack Frost nipping at your nose
Yuletide carols being sung by a choir
And folks dressed up like Eskimos
Everybody knows a turkey and some mistletoe
Help to make the season bright
Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow
Will find it hard to sleep tonight

They know that Santa's on his way
He's loaded lots of toys and goodies on his sleigh
And every mother's child is gonna spy
To see if reindeer really know how to fly

So I'm offering this simple phrase
To kids from one to ninety-two
Although it's been said many times, many ways
Merry Christmas to you

So I'm offering this simple phrase
To kids from one to ninety-two
Although it's been said many times, many ways
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas to you

Scarab Sages

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Well that was very nice, Aberzombie, but this is the one I hear the Pope is actually more partial to....


It's Christmas at Ground Zero
There's music in the air
The sleigh bells are ringing and the carolers are singing
While the air raid sirens blare!

It's Christmas at Ground Zero
The button has been pressed!
The radio just let us know
That this is not a test!

Everywhere the atom bombs are dropping
It's the end of all Humanity
No more time for last-minute shopping
It's time to face your Final Destiny!

Well it's Christmas at Ground Zero
There's panic in the crowd
We can dodge debris while we trim the tree
Underneath the mushroom cloud

You might hear some reindeer on your rooftop
Or Jack Frost on your windowsill
But if someone's climbing down your chimney
You better load your gun and shoot to kill!

Oh, it's Christmas at Ground Zero
And if the radiation level's okay
I'll go out with you and see all the new
Mutations on New Year's day

It's Christmas at Ground Zero
Just seconds left to go
I'll duck and cover with my Yuletide lover
Underneath the mistletoe

It's Christmas at Ground Zero
Now the missiles are on their way
What a crazy fluke
We're gonna get nuked on this jolly holiday

What a crazy fluke
We're gonna get nuked on this jol-ly ho-li-dayyy!!!

Scarab Sages

Weird Al always rocks. I bet he exists on every Earth in the multiverse.

Scarab Sages

Yes, well, that would definitely be a perk of his longstanding friendship with the organ-sucking aliens from alternate-dimensional space who kinda look like Jamie Farr.

Scarab Sages

Catboy!
Owlette!
Gekko!
Let's Go!

Who goes into the night
So they can save the day?
Who are these heroes
To show you the way?

PJ Masks
We're the PJ Masks
PJ Masks
We're the PJ Masks

'Cuz bedtime....
Is the right time...
To fight crime....
I can't think of a rhyme!

PJ Masks
We're the PJ Masks
PJ Masks
We're the PJ Masks

PJ MASKS!

Because why should I be the only one to suffer having this f!%$ing theme song stuck in my head....

Scarab Sages

Betcha I can do better....

Super-teen extraordinaire
Freakazoid! Freakazoid!
Runs around in underwear
Freakazoid! Freakazoid!

Rescues Washington D.C.
Freakazoid! Freakazoid!
Unless something better's on TV
Freakazoid! Freakazoid!

His brain is overloading
It has a chocolate coating
Textbook case for Sigmund Freud
Freakazoid! Freakazoid!

Check out Dexter Douglas
Nerd computer ace
Went surfing on the Internet
And was zapped to cyberspace
He turned into the Freakazoid
He's strong and super-quick
He drives the villains crazy
'Cause he's a lunatic!

His home base is the Freakalair
Freakazoid! Fricassee!
Floyd the Barber cuts his hair
Freakazoid! Chimpanzee!
Rides around in the Freakmobile
Freakazoid! Free kazoo!
Hopes to make a movie deal
Freaka me! Freaka you!

He's here to save the nation
So stay tuned to this station
If not, we'll be unemployed
Freakazoid! Freakazoid!

FREAKAZOID!!!


My girl's wearing... (No she ain't!)
Oh yes she is! (Oh, no she ain't)
I'm satisfied with my girl!

And my girl lets me... (No she don't!)
Oh, yes she do (Oh, no she don't!)
I'm satisfied with my girl!

She's got big brown eyes and curly hair, I know she will be true
But she won't never (Yes she will!)
Ohhh, she didn't do that with you!!!

And my girl's got big... (No, she ain't!)
Oh, yes she do! (Oh, no she ain't!)
I'm satisfied with my girl!

She's got little dimples when she smiles, she's cute as she can be,
But she don't got no (Yes she do!)
Ohh, she didn't get that from me!!

My girl's dropped her... (No she ain't)
Oh, yes she has! (Oh no she ain't!)
I'm satisfied with my girl!

Scarab Sages

How much do I owe you?" said the husband to his wife,
"For standing beside me through the hard years of my life.
"Shall I bring you diamonds, shall I buy you furs?
"Say the word and it's yours.

And his wife said: "I won't take less than your love, sweet love.
"No, I won't take less than your love.
"All the riches of the world could never be enough,
"And I won't take less than your love."

"How much do I owe you?" to the mother said the son.
"For all that you have taught me in the days that I was young.
"Shall I bring expensive blankets to cast upon your bed?
"And a pillow for to rest your weary head."

And the mother said: "I won't take less than your love, sweet love.
"No, I won't take less than your love.
"All the comforts of the world could never be enough,
"And I won't take less than your love."

"How much do I owe you?" said the man to his Lord.
"For giving me this day and every day that's gone before.
"Shall I build a temple, shall I make a sacrifice?
"Tell me Lord and I will pay the price."

And the Lord said: "I won't take less than your love, sweet love.
"No, I won't take less than your love.
"All the treasures of the world could never be enough,
"And I won't take less than your love."

"I won't take less than your love, sweet love.
"No, I won't take less than your love.
"All the treasures of the world could never be enough,
"And I won't take less than your love."

"No, I won't take less than your love.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Adventure Path, Lost Omens, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

Drive us by pitchfork to caves by the sea
Atop the mountain, under cities
We are monsters, we are older than men
Yes, we are Gorgons and we will have our revenge

Frighten their children by speaking our name
Epoch and eon, it's always the same
We are monsters, but we will no longer run
We are the cyclops and our time has come

This world was ours before it had ever known men
Soon it will be ours again
Grant them their tales of their forefather's glory
For soon it will be ours again

Atop the buttress the gargoyle sits
The fragile foundation crumbles to bits
We are monsters and they are but men
Behold the Colossus rises again!

This world was ours before it had ever known men
And soon it will be ours again
Grant them their tales of their forefather's glory
For soon it will be ours again

This world was ours before it had ever known men
And soon it will be ours again
Soon it will be ours again

Scarab Sages

Cole Deschain wrote:

Drive us by pitchfork to caves by the sea

Atop the mountain, under cities
We are monsters, we are older than men
Yes, we are Gorgons and we will have our revenge

...

That's a neat one! Where's it from?


Pathfinder Adventure Path, Lost Omens, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber
I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:
Cole Deschain wrote:

Drive us by pitchfork to caves by the sea

Atop the mountain, under cities
We are monsters, we are older than men
Yes, we are Gorgons and we will have our revenge

...

That's a neat one! Where's it from?

My favorite album of 2015


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Lyrics to Virus Alert
Hey, everyone, listen up, your attention if you please
We wanna give you a warning
'Cause I found out this morning
About a dangerous, insidious computer virus
If you should get it, an email with the subject, 'stinky cheese'
Better off protecting your chances
Under no circumstances, should you open it
Or else it will

Translate your documents into Swahili
Make your TV record "Gigli"
Neuter your pets, and give you laundry static cling
Look out!
It's gonna make your computer screen freeze
Look out!
Erase the Easter eggs off your DVDs
Look out!
Erase your hard drive and your backups too
And the hard drive of anyone related to you

Virus alert!
Delete immediately before someone gets hurt!
Forward this message on to everybody

Soon, very soon, it will make all the paint peel off your walls
It'll make your keyboard all sticky
Give your poodle a hickey
And invest your cash in stock in Euro Disney
Then, it will tie up your phone, making prank long-distance calls
It'll set your clocks back an hour and start clogging the shower
So just trash it now, or else it will

Decide to give you a permanent wedgie,
Legally change your name to Reggie,
Even mess up the pH balance in your pool

Look out!
It's gonna melt your face right off your skull
Look out!
And make your iPod only play Jethro Tull
Look out!
And tell you knock-knock jokes while you're trying to sleep
Look out!
And make you physically attracted to sheep
Look out!
Steal your identity and your credit card
Look out!
Buy you a warehouse full of pink leotards
Look out!
Then cause a major rift in time and space
And leave a bunch of Twinkie wrappers all over the place
That's right it's a

Virus alert!
Delete immediately before someone gets hurt!
Forward this message on to everybody

Virus alert!
Delete immediately before someone gets hurt!
Forward this message on to everybody
Warn all your friends, send this to everybody
Tell everyone you know, tell everybody now

If you get infected, you'll wish you had never been born
So before it emails your grandmother all of your porn
Turn off your computer and make sure it powers down
Drop it in a forty-three-foot hole in the ground
Bury it completely; rocks and boulders should be fine
Then burn all the clothes you may have worn any time you were alive!

Virus alert!
Delete immediately before someone gets hurt!
Forward this message on to everybody

Virus alert!
Delete immediately before someone gets hurt!
Forward this message on to everybody

Virus alert!
Delete immediately before someone gets hurt!
Forward this message on to everybody
Warn all your friends, send this to everybody
Tell everyone you know, tell everybody now
What are you waiting for?
Just hurry up and forward this to every single person that you know!
Hit send right now!

I used to think this was funny.
Then Facebook started demanding my real name and a scan of my ID.
Don't open any Email from Goth Guru. Delete it. That's not me. Block Facebook from your Email. Everything on Facebook is already lost.

This is from here.

http://www.musictory.com/music/Weird+Al+Yankovic/Virus+Alert


BILL WITHERS LYRICS

"Ain't No Sunshine"
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
It's not warm when she's away.
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
And she's always gone too long
Anytime she goes away.

Wonder this time where she's gone
Wonder if she's gone to stay
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
And this house just ain't no home
Anytime she goes away.

And I know, I know, I know, I know,
I know, I know, I know, I know, I know,
I know, I know, I know, I know, I know,
I know, I know, I know, I know, I know,
I know, I know, I know, I know, I know,
I know, I know,
Hey, I oughtta leave young thing alone
But ain't no sunshine when she's gone

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
Only darkness every day.
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
And this house just ain't no home
Anytime she goes away.
Anytime she goes away.
Anytime she goes away.
Anytime she goes away.

There are 26 I knows!

Scarab Sages

What a day this has been
What a rare mood I'm in
Why it's almost like being in love
There's a smile on my face
For the whole human race
Why it's almost like being in love
There's a music of life; seems to be
Like a bell that is ringing for me
And from the way that I feel
When that bell starts to peel
I would swear I was falling, swear I was falling
It's almost like being in love

The music of life seems to be
Like a bell that is ringing just for me
And from the way that I feel
When that bell starts to peel
I would swear I was falling, swear I was falling
It's almost like being in love

Grand Lodge RPG Superstar 2015 Top 32, RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32

Two, four, six, eight
I think it's time for a date
I've got a craving and I think you're my taste
So won't you come out and play?
Darling, it's your lucky day!

Why so blue, dear?
Why the expression of fear?
Not into falling for those crocodile tears
And there's no place to flee
Now your soul belongs to me!

You've been invited to my spider dance
Spider dance
Spider dance
So move along with me and clap your hands
Clap your hands
Clap your hands
You've been invited to my spider dance
Spider dance
Spider dance
You know a heart like yours won't stand a chance
In this dizzying, twisted, dark romance!

Paralyzed
Fear is in your eyes
But your cries will go unheard, even if you try
Struggling is futile so get tangled up in me
To survive, I think you're gonna have to pay a little fee!

Get caught in my spider dance
Spider dance
Spider dance
You know your heart can never stand a chance
Got your marionette strings in my hands

Mm-mm, mm-mm
Some might call it greed
Mm-mm, mm-mm
But I think it's a need
Mm-mm, mm-mm
I could let you be
Mm-mm, mm-mm
But it won't come for free!

Caught you in my spider dance
Spider dance
Spider dance
You know your heart can never stand a chance
Got your marionette strings in my hands!

Scarab Sages

You were once my one companion
You were all that mattered
You were once a friend and father
Then my world was shattered
Wishing you were somehow here again
Wishing you were somehow near
Sometimes it seemed if I just dreamed
Somehow you would be here

Wishing I could hear your voice again
Knowing that I never would
Dreaming of you won't help me to do
All that you dreamed I could
Passing bells and sculpted angels
Cold and monumental
Seem for you the wrong companions
You were warm and gentle

Too many years fighting back tears
Why can't the past just die?
Wishing you were somehow here again
Knowing we must say, "Goodbye"
Try to forgive, teach me to live
Give me the strength to try
No more memories, no more silent tears
No more gazing across the wasted years
Help me say, "Goodbye"
Help me say, "Goodbye"


I have often walked
Down the street before,
But the pavement always
Stayed beneath my feet before.
All at once am i
Several stories high,
Knowing I'm on the street where you live.

Are there lilac trees
In the heart of town?
Can you hear a lark in any other part of town?
Does enchantment pour
Out of every door?
No, it's just on the street where you live.

And oh, the towering feeling
Just to know somehow you are near
The overpowering feeling
That any second you may suddenly appear.

People stop and stare
They don't bother me,
For there's no where else on earth
That I would rather be.

Let the time go by,
I won't care if i
Can be here on the street where you live.

People stop and stare
They don't bother me,
For there's no where else on earth
That I would rather be.

Let the time go by
I won't care if i
Can be here on the street where you live,

Let me be on the street where you live.

Scarab Sages

Southern trees bear a strange fruit,
Blood on the leaves and blood at the root,
Black bodies swinging in the southern breeze,
Strange fruit hanging from the poplar trees.

Pastoral scene of the gallant south,
The bulging eyes and the twisted mouth,
Scent of magnolias, sweet and fresh,
Then the sudden smell of burning flesh.

Here is fruit for the crows to pluck,
For the rain to gather, for the wind to suck,
For the sun to rot, for the trees to drop,
Here is a strange and bitter crop.


Lyrics of No time by The Monkees

Hober reeber sabasoben
Hobaseeba snick
Seeberraber hobosoben
What did you expect?

No time, no time for you.
I got no time, baby,
Got lots of better things to do.

Runnin' from the risin' heat
To find a place to hide,
The grass is always greener
Growin' on the other side.


On my way to better things
(No time left for you)
I'll find myself some wings
(No time left for you)
Distant roads are calling me
(No time left for you)
Mm-da, mm-da, mm-da, mm-da, mm-da

No time for a summer friend
No time for the love you send
Seasons change and so did I
You need not wonder why
You need not wonder why
There's no time left for you
No time left for you

On my way to better things
(No time left for you)
I'll find myself some wings
(No time left for you)
Distant roads are calling me
(No time left for you)
Mm-day, mm-gay, mm-day, mm-gay, mm-day

No time for a gentle rain
No time for my watch and chain
No time for revolving doors
No time for the killing floor
No time for the killing floor
There's no time left for you
No time left for you

No time for a summer friend
No time for the love you send
Seasons change and so did I
You need not wonder why
You need not wonder why
There's no time left for you
No time left for you

No time, no time, no time, no time
No time, no time, no time, no time

I got, got, got, got no time
I got, got, got, got no time
I got, got, got, got no time
No, no, no, no, no, no, no time
No, no, no, no, no, no, no time
I got, got, got, got no time
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no time
I got no time, got no time, got no time, no time, got no time
Got no time, got no time

Scarab Sages

Oh, the shark, babe, has such teeth, dear
And it shows them pearly white
Just a jackknife has old MacHeath, babe
And he keeps it out of sight
Ya know when that shark bites with his teeth, babe
Scarlet billows start to spread
Fancy gloves, though, wears old MacHeath, babe
So there's never, never a trace of red

Now on the sidewalk, huh, huh, whoo sunny morning, un huh
Lies a body just oozin' life
And someone's sneakin' 'round the corner
Could that someone be Mack the Knife?

There's a tugboat, down by the river don'tcha know
Where a cement bag's just a'droopin' on down
Oh, that cement is just there for the weight, dear
Five'll get ya ten old Macky's back in town
Now d'ja hear 'bout Louie Miller? He disappeared, babe
After drawin' out all his hard-earned cash
And now Macheath spends just like a sailor
Could it be our boy's done somethin' rash?

Now Jenny Diver, ho, ho, yeah, Sukey Tawdry
Ooh, Miss Lotte Lenya and old Lucy Brown
Oh, the line forms on the right, babe
Now that Macky's back in town

I said Jenny Diver, whoa, Sukey Tawdry
Look out to Miss Lotte Lenya and old Lucy Brown
Yes, that line forms on the right, babe
Now that Macky's back in town.....

Look out, old Macky is back!!


I’ve been trying for every single day
Just pushing along, trying to show what I made
Another reason to wake, another reason to work
But I feel like it always goes unheard

(Am I awake?)
Did I drive all night just to end up here?
(Am I alone?)
Do you understand we can’t walk away?
(Am I awake?)
Nobody’s left, nobody’s home
We’re all in this together, we’re all alone

As I work now, I see friends go by
Moving on to the next stage of their lives
I’ve been holding on, fighting through
But if it ended now, there’d still be work to do

(Am I awake?)
Did I drive all night just to end up here?
(Am I alone?)
Do you understand we can’t walk away?
(Am I awake?)
Nobody’s left, nobody’s home
We’re all in this together, we’re all alone

It's all been for right now
It's all been for right now
It's all been for right now
It's all been for right now

(Am I awake?)
Did I drive all night just to end up here?
(Am I alone?)
Do you understand we can’t walk away?
(Am I awake?)
Nobody’s left, nobody’s home
We’re all in this together, we’re all alone

Scarab Sages

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Portobello road, Portobello road
Street where the riches of ages are stowed.
Anything and everything a chap can unload
Is sold off the barrow in Portobello road.
You’ll find what you want in the Portobello road.

Rare alabaster? Genuine plaster!
A filigreed samovar owned by the czars.
A pen used by Shelley? A new Boticelli?
The snipper that clipped old King Edward’s cigars?

Waterford Crystals! Napoleon’s pistols!
Society heirlooms with genuine gems!
Rembrandts! El Greco’s! Toulouse-Letrec’os!
Painted last week on the banks of the Thames!

Portobello road, Portobello road!
Street where the riches of ages are stowed
Anything and everything a chap can unload
Is sold off the barrow in Portobello road.
You’ll meet all your chums in the Portobello road

There’s pure inspiration in every creation.
No cheap imitations, not here in me store.
With garments as such as was owned by a Duchess.
Just once at some royal occasion of yore.

In Portobello Road, Portobello Road
The fancies and fineries of ages are showed.
A lady will always feel dressed a la mode
In frillies she finds in the Portobello road.

“Burke’s Peerage;” “The Bride Book;” “The Fishmonger’s Guidebook;”
A Victorian novel, “The Unwanted Son;”
“The History of Potting”, “The Yearbook of Yachting,”
The leather bound “Life of Attila the Hun.”

Portobello Road, Portobello Road
Street where the riches of ages are stowed
Artifacts to glorify our regal abode
Are hidden in the flotsam in Portobello Road
You’ll find what you want in the Portobello Road

Tokens and treasures, yesterday’s pleasures
Cheap imitations of heirlooms of old
Dented and tarnished, scarred and unvarnished
In old Portobello they’re bought and they’re sold

Portobello Road, Portobello Road
Street where the riches of ages are stowed
Artifacts to glorify our regal abode
Are hidden in the flotsam in Portobello road.
You’ll find what you want in the Portobello Road

Scarab Sages

"For our information
Just for illustration
Tell us how you intend to run the nation."

"These are the laws of my administration:
No one's allowed to smoke
Or tell a dirty joke
And whistling is forbidden!"

"We're not allowed to tell a dirty joke!
Hail, hail Freedonia!"

"If chewing gum is chewed
The chewer is pursued
And in the hoosegow hidden."

"If we choose to chew we'll be pursued."

"If any form of pleasure is exhibited
Report to me and it will be prohibited
I'll put my foot down, so shall it be
This is the land of the free!

The last man nearly ruined this place
He didn't know what to do with it
If you think this country's bad off now,
Just wait 'til I get through with it!

The country's taxes must be fixed
And I know what to do with it
If you think you're paying too much now
Just wait till I get through with it!"

*flute solo*

"I will not stand for anything that's crooked or unfair
I'm strictly on the up-and-up, so everyone beware
If any man's caught taking graft, and I don't get my share
We stand him up against the wall and pop! Goes the weasel!"

"So everyone beware,
who’s crooked or unfair,
No one must take a bit of graft
unless he gets his share!"

"If any man should come between a husband and his bride
We'll find out which one she prefers by letting her decide
If she prefers the other man, the husband steps outside
We stand him up against the wall and pop! Goes the weasel!"

"The husband steps outside,
relinquishes his bride
They stand him up against the wall
and take him for a ride!"


Sleepy Maria, don't drink
Drunken Maria, don't sleep

Scarab Sages

"Oh, I love trash!
Anything dirty or dingy or dusty
Anything ragged or rotten or rusty
Yes, I love trash

I have here a sneaker that's tattered and worn
It's all full of holes and the laces are torn
A gift from my mother the day I was born
I love it because it's trash

Oh, I love trash!
Anything dirty or dingy or dusty
Anything ragged or rotten or rusty
Yes, I love trash

I have here some newspaper thirteen months old
I wrapped fish inside it; it's smelly and cold
But I wouldn't trade it for a big pot o' gold!
I love it because it's trash

Oh, I love trash!
Anything dirty or dingy or dusty
Anything ragged or rotten or rusty
Yes, I love trash

I've a clock that won't work
And an old telephone
A broken umbrella, a rusty trombone
And I am delighted to call them my own!
I love them because they're trash

Oh, I love trash!
Anything dirty or dingy or dusty
Anything ragged or rotten or rusty
Yes, I love, I love, I love trash!"


This is ponderous man... Really ponderous...

I had this dream the other night...
I went to work one day... And nobody remembered who i was....
So, i decided to take the day off...
On my way out, i run into my boss and he say's, "hey, you look familiar..."
i said, "thanks, people say that a lot in these dreams."
then the horns kicked in (sfx) and my shoes started to squeak. (sfx)

then all of a sudden, i'm standing on a beach in some tropical part of the world...and there's this sign that says... "aren't you supposed to be at work..." (haha) it sort of screamed out at me... (scream)...

Then i remembered, i'd been here in other dreams, but usually there was a water polo game and a girl who could talk with her eyes... And she'd say.. "can you see what i'm saying?" then the horn kicked in (sfx) and my shoes started to squeak...(sfx)

before i knew it... I was walking near a lake when a phone rings (sfx) and the operator speaks to me in a language i don't understand...

Oom papachucka maka nanu singow.
Meling kapalana wani domo chingpow..
Heddy kapalua cuma jenising tea...
Oomama chucka pana one is now three....

Then the horns kicked in. (sfx) and my shoes started to squeak (sfx)

before long, i was coming up on this weird part of my dream... You know, the part where i know how to tap dance... But i can only do it while wearing golf shoes...

Now, i'm back on the beach... Walking with this girl who talks with her eyes. This time she say's. "i think you see what i'm saying..."

then just before i woke up. It started to rain in southern california...

(repeat chorus)

a girl who could talk with her eyes...

Can you see what i'm saying?

Aren't you supposed to be at work? (haha.)

This is ponderous man... Really ponderous...

Oooohhhh (horns)

(squeak sfx)


Flash a-ah
Savior of the Universe
Flash a-ah
He'll save every one of us

(Seemingly there is no reason for these extraordinary intergalactical upsets)
(Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha)
(What's happening Flash?)
(Only Doctor Hans Zarkhov, formerly at NASA, has provided any explanation)

Flash a-ah
He's a miracle

(This morning's unprecedented solar eclipse is no cause for alarm)

Flash a-ah
King of the impossible

He's for every one of us
Stand for every one of us
He save with a mighty hand
Every man, every woman
Every child, with a mighty
Flash

(General Kala, Flash Gordon approaching.)
(What do you mean Flash Gordon approaching? Open fire! All weapons! Dispatch war rocket Ajax to bring back his body)

Flash a-ah
(Gordon's alive!)

Flash a-ah
He'll save every one of us

Just a man
With a man's courage
You know he's
Nothing but a man
And he can never fail
No one but the pure at heart
May find the Golden Grail
...Oh..Oh........Oh..Oh....

(Flash, Flash, I love you, but we only have fourteen hours to save the Earth!)
Flash


Hey, let them do it again, yeah
Hey, you said you were my friend
Hey, turn me upside down, Oh
Hey, feelin' so down
Hey, hey...hey...hey...

You made a fool of me again
Again [8x]

Hey, I know I made the same mistake, yeah
I, I won't do it again, no
Why, Why you slap me in the face, oww
I, I didn't say it was OK, no
No, No...

You violate a part of me again
Again [8x]

Ah, ooo
Doot doot, yeah [8x]

Hey, you had time to think it out, yeah
Hey, Your weak will won't help her heal her heart
Hey, I'll bet it really eats you up

Extending part of me again
Again [8x]

Ooo
Doot doot, yeah [16x]

Scarab Sages

1 person marked this as a favorite.

I went to my apartment on a Monday at 1
A-singin' do lolly-lolly shicky bum-shicky bum
Started movin' in it on a Tuesday at 2
A-singin' do lolly-lolly shicky do-shicky do
Wednesday at 3, I called the phone company, singin':
"Hey baby, put a phone in for me"
Thursday at 4, he came a-knockin' at my door, singin':

"Hey, baby, I'm your telephone man
You just show me where you want it and I'll put it where I can
I can put it in the bedroom, I can put it in the hall
I can put it in the bathroom, I can hang it on the wall
You can have it with a *buzz*, you can have it with a *ring*
And if you really want it you can have a *ding-a-ling*
Because hey baby, I'm your telephone man"

Can you believe that? And then he says:

"Now when other fellas call you tell 'em how it all began"

Well... Can you imagine?

My heart began a-thumpin' and my mind began to fly
And I knew I wasn't dealin' with no ordinary guy
So while he was talking I was thinkin' up my plan
Then my fingers did the walkin' on the telephone man

Singin' hey lolly-lolly
Hey lolly-lolly
Hey lolly-lolly
Get it any way you can
Right? So...

I got it in the bedroom, and I got it in the hall
And I got it in the bathroom, and he hung it on the wall
I got it with a *buzz*, and I got it with a *ring*
And when he told me what my number was I got a *ding-a-ling!*

A-singin' hey lolly-lolly
Hey lolly, lolly
Hey lolly, lolly
Just-a doin' my thing


I wanna rock out in my dreams
Instead of waking up I wanna sleep
Wearing black leather pants
With boots too tall to see me
I wanna rock out in my dreams

Since I got back from the place you live
I haven’t been the same, I just eat and drink a lot
I should probably say that I miss you
And I could even rhyme that with kiss you
But these days that just seems too goddamn cheap

I wanna rock out in my dreams
Instead of waking up, I wanna sleep
Sweet-dick denim jacket, shredding the flying V
I wanna rock out in my dreams

The older I get, the better I am at lying
The more friends and family I have dead or dying
It’s harder to define love
I’ve gotta drink more if I wanna catch a buzz
The older I get, the more articulate I am at whining

I wanna rock out in my dreams
I wanna rock out in my dreams
I wanna rock out in my dreams
I wanna rock out in my dreams

Scarab Sages

Let's impeach the President for lying
And it's leading our country into war
Abusing all the power that we gave him
And shipping all our money out the door

Who's the man who hired all the criminals
The White House shadows who hide behind closed doors
And bend the facts to fit with their new stories
Of why we have to send our men to war

Let's impeach the President for spying
On citizens inside their own homes
Breaking every law in the country
By tapping our computers and telephones

What if Al Qaeda blew up the levees
Would New Orleans have been safer that way
Sheltered by our government's protection
Or was someone just not home that day?

Let's impeach the President for hijacking
Our religion and using it to get elected
Dividing our country into colors
And still leaving black people neglected

Thank God, he's cracking down on steroids
Since he sold his old baseball team
There's lots of people looking at big trouble
But of course our President is clean, thank God

Thank God
Thank God
Thank God
...


Let me tell you something new
'Bout the history of the man
He has got nothing to lose

'Cause he's got something better
He stands a victim of them betters
It's the history of the man

He stands out to lose
When he's lost, he is human
It's the history of the man

Let me tell you something new
About the history of the man
'Cause he's got nothing to lose

'Cause he's got something better

Scarab Sages

If you're livin' in a bubble and you haven't got a care
Well, you're gonna be in trouble 'cause we're gonna steal your air
'Cause what you got is what we need
and all we do is dirty deeds
We're the SPACEBALLS!!!
Watch out, 'cause we're the Spaceballs
We're the masters of space
Hey, don't mess around with the Spaceballs.
Unh!

Going cruisin' in a spaceship, we're so good at being bad
We'll destroy your little planet if you ever get us mad
We're mothers of the galaxy
You better scatter when you see
The SPACEBALLS!!!
Watch out, we're the Spaceballs
We're the masters of space
Say what? Don't mess around with the Spaceballs.
Watch out!

We're mothers of the galaxy
We're gonna take the air you breathe
Hahahahahaha!
Oh! SPACEBALLS!!!
Watch out!

We're the Spaceballs
We're the masters of space
Do-do-do-do-don't mess around with the Spaceballs.
Yo! Watch out!
We're the Spaceballs!
We're the masters of space
Hey, don't mess around with the Spaceballs.
Watch out!

We've got a bossin' little ship
So you better watch your lip
'Cause we're the Spaceballs.
Watch out!

You may think that you are bad
But believe you can be had
By the Spaceballs!
Watch out!

We're the Spaceballs!
Watch out!

We're the SPACEBALLS!!!
We're the masters of space
Don't mess around with the Spaceballs.
We're so bad and mean
We make nightmares out of dreams
We're the SPACEBALLS!!!
We're the Spaceballs.
You better watch out!
Heeheeheehahahahaha!

Scarab Sages

Well, we're big rock singers
We got golden fingers
And we're loved everywhere we go...(That sounds like us)
We sing about beauty and we sing about truth
At ten thousand dollars a show...(Right)
We take all kinds of pills that give us all kind of thrills
But the thrill we've never known
Is the thrill that'll getcha when you get your picture
On the cover of the Rollin' Stone

(Rollin' Stone...) Wanna see my picture on the cover
(Stone...) Wanna buy five copies for my mother...(Yes)
(Stone...) Wanna see my smilin' face
On the cover of the Rollin' Stone...(That's a very very good idea)

I got a freaky ole lady name a cocaine Katy
Who embroiders on my jeans
I got my poor ole grey haired daddy
Drivin' my limousine
Now it's all decided to blow our minds
But our minds won't really be blown
Like the blow that'll gitcha when you get your picture
On the cover of the Rollin' Stone

(Rollin' Stone...) Wanna see our pictures on the cover
(Stone...) Wanna buy five copies for our mothers...(Yeah)
(Stone...) Wanna see my smilin face
On the cover of the Rollin' Stone

We got a lot of little teenage blue eyed groupies
Who do anything we say
We got a genu-wine Indian Guru
Who's teaching us a better way
We got all the friends that money can buy
So we never have to be alone
And we keep gettin' richer but we can't get our picture
On the cover of the Rollin' Stone

(Rollin' Stone...) Wanna see my picture on the cover
(Stone...) Wanna buy five copies for my mother...
(Stone...) Wanna see my smilin' face
On the cover of the Rollin' Stone
On the cover of the Rollin'...
(Stone...) Wanna see my picture on the cover
(Stone...) Wanna buy five copies for my mother
(Stone...) Wanna see my smilin' face
On the cover of the Rollin' Stone...

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