Judges, Please Critique My Item


RPG Superstar™ 2011 General Discussion

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Contributor

This thread is for people whose wondrous item did not make it into the Top 32 of RPG Superstar 2011 and who would like to get feedback from the judges.

This thread is to help people improve their items and ideas in order to have a better shot at making it into the Top 32 next year.

1) If you want feedback on the item you submitted this year, please copy and paste it into a new message in this thread, without quoting any other text from the thread (that'll help keep this thread uncluttered).

2) I or another judge will provide or summarize the judges' comments on your Round 1 item.

3) Other people (including Clark Peterson, of course!) are welcome to provide their own comments here.

4) However, let's not let the thread get too cluttered with back-and-forth debate about the items or the commentary. If you want to have a more involved discussion about your item, please start a separate thread for it (that'll help keep this thread uncluttered). I make no guarantees that the judges will be able to comment much on these side threads, especially as the rest of the competition continues and we need to judge later rounds.

Be forewarned: Some of the judges' feedback is harsh and curt. In evaluating hundreds of items, we're looking for big mistakes, and we don't pull punches. If you can't handle the idea of a judge declaring your item "boring," a "spell in a can," or "a magical cell phone," or "a complete failure at following the provided magic item template," you shouldn't ask for feedback. If you honestly want feedback so you can improve and avoid similar mistakes, this is the place for you.

Scarab Sages Marathon Voter Season 7

The Lantern of The Illumined Walk
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 3rd
Slot none; Price 4,320 gp; Weight 3 lbs.
Description
This bullseye lantern possesses a number of adjustable lenses on its front but is otherwise identical to a mundane lantern and operates as such. Once per day, as a standard action, you may place the lit lantern on the ground and use the lenses to create a path of solidified light. This walkway of light may be either 60 feet long and 10 feet wide, or 120 feet long and 5 feet wide. The lenses can also be adjusted to angle the walkway up or down, to a maximum of 45 degrees. This pathway is anchored on the lantern and does not need to necessarily go anywhere. If, as it is being created, the beam of light strikes a solid object, it ends at that point and extends no further. The illumined walk in all respects counts as solid ground. At the end of 10 rounds, or if the lantern is moved, the lantern runs out of oil and the light is extinguished.
Construction
Requirements craft wondrous item, levitate ; Cost 2,160 gp

EDIT: First! Woot. Do I get a prize? :P


Spell Syphon
Aura moderate abjuration and transmutation; CL 7th
Slot –; Price 17,500 gp; Weight –lbs.
Description
Fine, floating particles of black and white sand fill this delicate, but unbreakable crystal vial. A simple, round stopper seals the vial, fastened to its neck with a thin silver cord.
When a Spell Syphon is opened, it can be thrown as a splash weapon with a range of 20 ft. The sand then whirls out of the vial, filling a 20ft radius with a fine, sparkling cloud of sand.
The cloud concentrates on all creatures capable of using spells or spell-like abilities in its area, whirling around them in a dazzling pattern, draining their magical energies. All affected creatures suffer a 1d4 penalty to their caster level for 1 minute, but may attempt a DC 17 Will save to end this effect every time after they've successfully cast a spell.
One round after emerging, the sand whirls back into the vial, collecting the harnessed energies and after the sand returned the vial reseals itself.
The sand then transforms into a multi-hued liquid, granting the creature drinking it a +4 bonus to its caster level for a number of rounds equal to the total penalty the sand applied.
Once the Spell Syphon is empty the sand will slowly reform over the next 24 hours, after which it can be used again.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, dispel magic, greater, transformation;Cost 8,250 gp

Dark Archive Star Voter Season 6

Egg of the Flame Toxoztesoma
Aura strong transmutation and necromancy CL12th
Slot head Price 12,000gp Weight-
Description
This small gem is worn on the forehead, this item is activated by speaking the command word, and it borrows into the owner’s head. His skin and organs melt and turn into a single advanced leech swarm with the additional following changes; +2 strength, +4 dexterity, +3 natural armour, burn ability, fire resistance 20 and vulnerability to cold damage, this swarm is fully under the control of the owner, also anything this swarm perceives the owner perceives, the owner can control telepathically at any range as a swift action. After the owner’s body resurrects in a burst of flames, turning into a flaming skeletal creature with the following traits +2 strength bonus +4 dexterity bonus, +3 natural armour bonus, DR5/bludgeoning, darkvision 60ft, resist fire 20, vulnerability to cold, burn ability, the owner is treated as a native outsider for the duration of the effect. This effect lasts for 10 minutes, after which the owner’s body naturally extinguishes itself, incapacitating him for a round as his flesh slowly reforms, at the same time the swarm evaporates into a thick mist. The destruction of the swarm has no effect on the owner. This is a one use only item, after its activation it is destroyed. Alternatively by placing the egg on a dead creature’s body and activating it, the body is animated into a bloody flaming undead champion with the personality and alignment it had in life and it also gains the blood drain and poison abilities of the leech swarm. This undead creature lasts 1d6 minutes and after that it is instantly destroyed into a small pile of ashes.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, swarm skin, elemental body II, animate dead CL12 Cost 6,000gp

Shadow Lodge

Ok. I didnt think I'd get through with my first year entry. So I am ready for some brutal honesty to prepare for next year.

Ship in a bottle
Aura strong transmutation; CL 8th
Slot -; Price 2,500gp (rowboat), 8,400gp (keelboat), 22,400gp(long ship or sailing ship), 52,400gp (warship), 62,400gp (galley); Weight 1lb
Description
The first ship in a bottle was created by a great wizard for the admiral of the royal navy when he retired, along with his warship. Many variations of it have been created since then.
The ship in a bottle looks just like a normal, clear, 2 inch thick, glass bottle capable of holding about 1 gallon of liquid. But, inside the corked bottle is a tiny ship sitting upon wooden supports. Anyone giving it a cursory glance will see a tiny model of a ship with amazing detail (sometimes even having barnacles on its hull).
Handling the bottle in any way will allow the handler to see that the ship does not move within the bottle no matter the amount of shaking. However, if the bottle is broke or if the cork is removed (a DC 24 Strength check) while not in contact with any liquid will cause the contents to spill forth and crumble to useless wooden pieces.
If the bottle is set into any liquid (lethal or otherwise) then the powerful magics set into the object activates. If the liquid is deep enough and the area is large enough to accommodate the ship set within the bottle, then the bottle will evaporate and the ship inside will instantly grow to its normal size. Otherwise, the bottle does nothing. The ship is equipped as per their related descriptions in the transport section (see page 163).
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, shrink item; Cost 1,250gp (rowboat), 4,200gp (keelboat), 11,200gp (long ship or sailing ship), 26,200gp (warship), 31,200gp (galley)

Liberty's Edge Dedicated Voter Season 6

Searing Vestment of the Dawnflower
Aura moderate conjuration and evocation; CL 11th
Slot body; Price 68,000 gp; Weight 6 lbs.
Description
Decorated with red and golden suns, this long, white chasuble glows brilliantly.

Upon donning the searing vestment of the Dawnflower, the wearer immediately surrounds herself with a 40-foot radius, golden-red nimbus that otherwise works as continual flame. If the wearer removes the garment, the illumination extinguishes.

Additionally, once per day, the wearer may activate the searing vestment of the Dawnflower and cause the sun-like corona to implode, transforming her into a fiery ray of sunlight. The ray then fires forth as per searing light. If the distance to the target is no more than 60 feet and the attack is successful the target becomes unbalanced, allowing the wearer to make a trip attack using the damage done as her Combat Maneuver Bonus. After resolving the attack, the wearer will then reappear behind and adjacent to the target. If the ranged touch attack misses, use the splash weapon rules to determine where the wearer reappears, assuming a range increment of 10 feet. The movement in the form of the searing light ray and trip attack do not provoke attacks of opportunity.

Once this special attack has been resolved, the illumination reappears for 10 rounds, then immediately ceases and cannot be reignited until any time after the break of the next dawn.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Improved Trip, Widen Spell, continual flame, dimension door, searing light; Cost 34,000 gp

I find that my item has a pretty significant similarity (spell attack = movement) to the Iron Bands of the Blue Dragon. I just hope that my item had enough chops in the judges eyes that they were torn between the two and ultimately chose the bands instead of this vestment. If not, oh well I guess, back to the drawing board!

In any case, I have a feel there are three flaws in my item that may have proved to be fatal. I’d be curious to see if the judges agree with me.

1) That the damage done equals the CMB may have turned them off the item altogether from a mechanical standpoint.
2) The pricing was pretty high for essentially an everburning torch and a one shot searing light/move/trip attack.
3) The fact that I used dimension door instead of teleport as a required spell and didn’t indicate any disorientation after reappearing while still allowing the trip attack if within 60 feet.
So I’d be interested in hearing the judges feedback, in all its gory glory!

Thanks for your comments and consideration!

The Exchange

OK, I know one thing - I didn't clearly specify that this was a consumable item.
But here goes:

Let me have it!

Shroud of the Immolator
Aura Moderate evocation; CL 7th
Slot shoulders; Price 1,400 gp; Weight 3 lbs.
Description
The shroud of the immolator most often appears as a full-length black cloak of heavy, rich fabric, hooded and clasped at the neck with bronze hooks and a large central stone - most often a deep red garnet or tourmaline.
The wearer can, as a swift action, crush the clasp stone. Doing so causes the shroud to burst into a conflagration that burns its surroundings but spares the wearer. The flames of the shroud vary with its creator - some are white-hot and incandescent, others are smoky and reek of brimstone. (Crushing the gem need not be done with the hand; a bound wearer could use her chin or a nearby solid object to accomplish this).
The shroud burns for seven rounds; while it burns:
- The wearer gains a +4 circumstance bonus on Intimidate checks*.
- Attackers making melee, unarmed or natural weapon attacks take 1d6+7 fire damage.
- Creatures or materials in full contact with the wearer take 3d6 damage per round that contact is maintained. This could include grappling attackers, ropes binding the wearer, or a beast that has swallowed her.

*At the DM's option, creatures with the (Fire) subtype would be immune to the Intimidate effect, but the wearer would instead enjoy a +4 bonus to Diplomacy checks.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, fire shield; Cost 700 gp

Scarab Sages Star Voter Season 6

Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Lost Omens Subscriber

Bracers of transfiguration
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 9th
Slot wrists; Price 10,000 gp; Weight 1 lbs.
Description
These metal bracers are etched with different intertwined weapons.

The bracers can be activated once per day to move one special weapon ability from one magic weapon you currently have on your person (though not necessarily wield) to a magic weapon you currently wield. The initial weapon loses the ability for 1 minute and the recipient weapon gains the ability for 1 minute. Activating this item is a move action.

The recipient weapon must be able to have the ability in order to gain it (for instance, a weapon would have to be a slashing melee weapon in order to receive the vorpal quality from another weapon). Bracers of transfiguration cannot move specific weapons’ abilities but can move weapon special abilities to specific weapons (i.e. you could move the flaming special ability to a holy avenger, however you could not move the sleep effect from a sleep arrow to a +1 arrow). Moving a special ability to a weapon that already has the ability has no affect and wastes this ability for the day. This ability cannot move an enhancement bonus from one weapon to another.

Construction
Requirements fabricate, greater magic weapon; Cost 5,000 gp

Dark Archive Bella Sara Charter Superscriber

Glass Heart
Aura moderate conjuration and transmutation; CL 9th
Slot --; Price 50,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.

Description
Red and blue arcs of electricity flicker and pulse within this fist-sized shard of glass, flaring brightly when it is implanted into the chest cavity of a dead creature. Implanting a glass heart requires ten minutes and causes the recipient to return to life as if targeted by a raise dead spell. A particular glass heart can only raise a creature from the dead once and only if the creature has been dead for less than 9 days.

Upon being returned to life, the electricity in the glass heart replaces the recipient's blood, granting her an extra Move Action each round for as long as the heart is implanted. The substitution of electricity for blood makes the recipient resistant to negative energy, granting a +2 resistance bonus to saves against such effects. Finally, the recipient is immune to electricity attacks and heals 1 hp per point of damage such attacks would otherwise inflict.

Because it replaces a creature’s organic heart, a glass heart can only be implanted in a creature whose anatomy includes a heart. Recognizing that a creature has an implanted glass heart requires a DC 20 Spellcraft check.

Unfortunately, the heart is not a perfect substitute for a living organ and is very fragile. If the recipient suffers a critical hit from a bludgeoning weapon, she must make a Fortitude Save (DC 10 + the damage dealt) or immediately perish as the heart is pulverized. A glass heart is also vulnerable to the shatter spell. If the heart is targeted and the recipient fails her save, it is crushed and she is instantly slain.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, haste, lightning bolt, raise dead; Cost 25,000 gp

Shadow Lodge

I think in my excitement to enter the contest I put on some blinders to the obvious problems here. :-/ Still posting and would greatly appreciate any and all feedback. Thanks again to the judges for their time, effort and consideration. Looking forward to the rest of RPG Superstar 2011 (and especially to the proverbial “next year” ;)

Good luck to the Top 32!

Penumbral Ligatures
Aura strong illusion; CL 13th
Slot —; Price 98,000 gp; Weight 3 lbs.

Description
This hand-held apparatus is a cold iron crossbar ringed by a circle of carved ivory. From one side extend five ghostly cords that hang taut before fading into nothingness. As a standard action, the wielder can make a ranged touch attack against a single humanoid target within 100 feet. On a successful attack, the target gains the entangled condition as shadowy ligatures lash out and coil themselves around the creature’s neck, wrists, and ankles. The wielder can then force the target to act as his spell-casting surrogate.

Entangled creatures cannot move more than 100 feet from the wielder; removing or severing all five ligatures ends this restriction and the entangled condition. An entangled creature may burst or escape from a single ligature by making a DC 20 Strength or Escape Artist check. Any amount of slashing damage severs a ligature; each ligature is AC 20. The ligatures are made of shadow-stuff and if severed simply reform when the apparatus is used again to ensnare. The wielder can release an ensnared creature as a standard action.

The ligatures can ensnare a willing target. All the conditions above apply fully however, and opponents may attempt to target and sever the ligatures normally.

If the wielder chooses, any spell he casts with a range of touch or greater can be channeled through the ligatures. Melee touch spells cast in this manner always target the “surrogate” and do not require an attack roll. Spells of greater range (including ranged touch attacks) originate from the surrogate as if he were the caster, affecting targets normally. A maximum of 20 total spell levels may be channeled each day.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, project image, shadow conjuration; Cost 49,000 gp

RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32 , Dedicated Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7 aka Standback

Many thanks in advance - I've really been looking forward to hearing feedback on this, both from the judges, and from all the wise folk of the forum!
P.S: Show no mercy! Otherwise I'll never learn.

Reciprocity Coin
Aura strong enchantment; CL 15th
Slot --; Price 6,000 gp; Weight --

Description
This platinum coin bears an engraving of balanced scales crossed by a feather quill. Both its faces are identical - down to the smallest nicks and scratches. This coin offers an exchange both eminently fair and inescapably perilous; it can purchase things no mere currency can, and exact payment more dear than gold.

The coin is used by giving it to another, in gift or trade. The giver may activate the coin to make a demand of the receiver (as the spell; Will DC 22 partially negates). Once the demand effect ends (or is negated), a whispered voice echoes through the receiver's mind, repeating the words of the giver's demand and compelling him (as a suggestion) to set them in writing, in his own hand and on whatever surface he chooses (no save; 15 hour duration).

If the receiver fulfills this suggestion, then in the following week he may issue a demand of his own to the giver (as the spell; Will DC 22 partially negates) by writing its words beneath his transcription of the giver's demand.

All the effects above are activated by the initial transaction, and do not require the receiver's continued possession of the coin. The coin cannot be activated again until the effect of the receiver's demand ends (or is negated). If for any reason the receiver does not or cannot issue a demand within the allotted week, the coin can never be activated again.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, demand; Cost 3,000 gp

-----------------------------

Discussion point for the loquaciously inclined:
I'm very grateful for the judges' comments and SKR's quick replies here in the thread :) There was a particular point that I don't know if SKR's notes will address; I'd love to open it up to whoever's interested in touching upon it.

What I really like about this item is that I see it as a plot device whose trigger is controlled by the PCs.

The plot twist it creates - "get something very powerful now; tomorrow somebody'll be able to mess you up good" - would fit a lot of different situations, and could be very interesting depending on the party's situation and who the NPC given the coin would be. I see this item being saved for a moment of sheer desperation, and then having the whole party waiting in dread for the other shoe to drop.

Is this something you think comes across well in the original description? Or is that not an impression you got particularly strongly from the entry itself?

Opinions on plot-devices as wondrous items are also gleefully solicited :D

Marathon Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

I believe I am able to handle the full and honest criticism, so please let me have it.

Defending Wisp of the Dying Ember
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 11th
Slot neck; Price 8,000 gp; Weight
Description
This amulet consists of an obsidian disk with an oak coal set in the center.
Whenever the wearer gains the helpless condition, the coal emits a stream of smoke which coalesces into the wearer’s image. The wearer can see, hear, and attack through the wisp, but not move, speak, or cast spells – the wisp appears in the wearer’s square and threatens all squares within reach as normal.
The wisp wields smoke-version copies of any weapons the wearer currently possesses – they have the same enhancement bonuses as the originals, but none of their special abilities. Attacks made with these weapons count as touch attacks, but inflict only half damage. The wearer may switch any one weapon each round as a move action.
Once per round, if an opponent attempts a coup de grace on the wearer, the wisp may attempt a special bull rush action as an attack of opportunity, even if that opponent would normally not provoke one. This bull rush is made with a +4 bonus to the wearer’s normal CMB, and, if successful, inflicts 2d6 points of force damage.
If at negative hit points, the wearer receives a -2 penalty to stabilization rolls while the wisp is active. He may dismiss the wisp as a free action, but cannot reactivate it while unconscious.
If the wearer loses the helpless condition, the wisp dissipates, though if he becomes helpless again, he may reactivate it. The wisp is immune to all forms of damage.
Using the wisp during normal sleep prevents the wearer from receiving any benefits from that rest, including restored hit points or spells.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, gaseous form, telekinesis; Cost 4,000 gp


okay, looks like this thread is open for posting? if not, apologies.

thanks in advance for the feedback.

Hunting Cloak of the Great Cats
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 9th
Slot shoulders; Price 28,000 gp; Weight 5 lbs.
Description
This heavy cloak is made from the hide of a great cat, including the head and limbs, and is infused with the spirit of one of these predatory beasts. The cloak grants a +4 bonus on Climb checks to the wearer. Additionally, the wearer gains the low-light vision and scent extraordinary abilities.
In combat, the cloak's limbs animate, giving the wearer the rake special attack. These two claw attacks deal 1d8 damage each. The wearer is considered to be proficient with the claws for these attacks. The rake attacks may be made up to 9 times per day.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, beast shape III; Cost 14,000 gp

Star Voter Season 7

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

Moonlight Strands
Aura faint necromancy; CL 5th
Slot --; Price 500 gp; Weight --
Description
This tiny glass vial contains a number of wispy, glowing threads. When the vial is opened or broken (as by being thrown at a hard surface), the strands emerge and elongate, moving rapidly to the nearest undead creature. The strands make a bull rush, disarm, trip, or grapple attempt (chosen by the user) against the undead creature using a CMB of +8. If the strands successfully grapple their target, they will attempt to maintain the grapple for 1d4 rounds before dissolving. Any other combat maneuver, or a failed grapple check, causes the strands to dissolve immediately. The strands are usable against incorporeal undead and do not provoke attacks of opportunity.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, halt undead; Cost 250 gp

I already see a couple issues. I should have added a range (nearest undead within 30 ft or something, maybe make it a ranged touch attack?). I also should have determined what happens if the nearest undead is concealed or protected somehow. I think the ranged touch attack would probably be my best bet.

Shadow Lodge Marathon Voter Season 6

Hello Everyone,

I think my item gave Sean a little inspiration for his Hitler Sword (he posted the sword a couple of hours after I submitted this). Suffice to say, from that point on I knew my item was going to struggle. Well hit me with your comments please.

Best Regards
Herremann the Wise

Chrononaut’s Horologe
Aura strong abjuration and evocation; CL 17th
Slot none; Price 132,100 gp; Weight -
Description

Activating this intricate silver hourglass of complex design and appearance, chronoports up to seven willing mortals who are in contact with one another, including the horologe’s activator, from where they stand to that same place at a specific time in the past for a single hour. When the sands run out, the horologe swiftly decays to nothing, while safely returning any living chrononauts with their possessions to the place and moment following the horologe’s activation.

While in the past, chrononauts may neither venture further than seven miles from where they arrive nor interact directly or indirectly with their past-self or direct ancestors, else automatically suffer imprisonment within the horologe; returning as usual when the hour expires. Casting freedom upon the horologe releases all imprisoned chrononauts. The horologe’s duration cannot be altered or suppressed by magical effects such as antimagic field, mage’s disjunction or temporal stasis although time stop works normally. The horologe’s duration automatically expires if destroyed, safely returning any living chrononauts. Upon expiry, any dead chrononauts, their bodies, souls, and even the memory of their existence are erased for eternity.

A chrononaut’s horologe requires the daring of a deity sufficiently motivated to manipulate the fabric of space and time. Upon an attempted activation, the deity involved grants or withholds the chronoporting miracle imbued within the horologe. Activity in the past may herald miraculous circumstances back in the future: eradicating a dire threat, altering character circumstances, crafting a new opportunity or menace, the collapse of cities or countries.

The horologe’s creator must designate the deity and exact time to be chronoported to, inscribing these references to the hourglass’ base upon commencing construction.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, freedom, imprisonment, miracle; Cost 78,550 gp


Ornod’s Ashen Doll

Aura strong transmutation; CL 18
Slot -; Price 170,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.

This one foot tall humanoid shaped doll has no features. It is made of a light grey material that leaves an ashy residue when handled.
To activate this item the user meditates for one minute. During that time a figure composed of dark black smoke coalesces in the exact shape and size of the user. The user’s consciousness is transferred to the smoke figure.

The user can see and hear through the figure, but is incapable of physically manipulating the environment. The figure has a fly movement of 10 feet. It automatically makes all fly skill checks and can move through extremely small openings. The figure has damage reduction and immunities as per the gaseous form spell. It has the saving throws, hit points, and ability scores of the user except that it has no strength or constitution. The figure has an AC of 10 plus modifiers from size and dexterity. It cannot be healed by any means. In dim lighting conditions it has a +5 competence bonus on stealth checks.
The user can cast spells through the figure that require at most somatic components. This includes spells that qualify through the Silent Spell or Eschew Material feats.

The figure dissipates for the following reasons: ten minutes have elapsed after activation, it is reduced to zero hit points, it entered any liquid, or it attempted to move by extradimensional travel. The user can dissipate the figure as a standard action. When the figure dissipates the user’s consciousness is transferred back to his body and the item cannot be activated again for 24 hours.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Items, gaseous form, twin form; Cost 85,000 gp


Cloak of Adhesion
Aura moderate conjuration; CL 5th
Slot shoulder; Price 45,000gp; Weight 2 lbs.

This heavy, lime-green cloak is embroidered with black squares along its edges. Anything coming into contact with the wearer must make a save (Reflex DC 17) or become stuck to the cloak. An item sticking to the cloak requires a Strength check (DC 17) to pry it free. Creatures attached to the cloak immediately become Grappled by the wearer, with both the wearer and the creature gaining the Grappled condition. This Grapple does not provoke attacks of opportunity, allows the wearer to maintain the use of both hands, and requires a CMB or Escape Artist vs (DC 17) to break free (instead of the CMD of the grappler). Creatures may attempt to gain control of the Grapple normally. This effect can be toggled as a standard action, releasing all stuck items and grappled creatures simultaneously (normally you may release a grapple as a free action).

Finally, this cloak also offers a +10 bonus to Climb checks to catch yourself from falling.

Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, web, persistent spell; Cost 22,500gp

Shadow Lodge

Chrononaut's Horologe:
Herremann the Wise wrote:

Hello Everyone,

I think my item gave Sean a little inspiration for his Hitler Sword (he posted the sword a couple of hours after I submitted this). Suffice to say, from that point on I knew my item was going to struggle. Well hit me with your comments please.

Best Regards
Herremann the Wise

Chrononaut’s Horologe
Aura strong abjuration and evocation; CL 17th
Slot none; Price 132,100 gp; Weight -
Description

Activating this intricate silver hourglass of complex design and appearance, chronoports up to seven willing mortals who are in contact with one another, including the horologe’s activator, from where they stand to that same place at a specific time in the past for a single hour. When the sands run out, the horologe swiftly decays to nothing, while safely returning any living chrononauts with their possessions to the place and moment following the horologe’s activation.

While in the past, chrononauts may neither venture further than seven miles from where they arrive nor interact directly or indirectly with their past-self or direct ancestors, else automatically suffer imprisonment within the horologe; returning as usual when the hour expires. Casting freedom upon the horologe releases all imprisoned chrononauts. The horologe’s duration cannot be altered or suppressed by magical effects such as antimagic field, mage’s disjunction or temporal stasis although time stop works normally. The horologe’s duration automatically expires if destroyed, safely returning any living chrononauts. Upon expiry, any dead chrononauts, their bodies, souls, and even the memory of their existence are erased for eternity.

A chrononaut’s horologe requires the daring of a deity sufficiently motivated to manipulate the fabric of space and time. Upon an attempted activation, the deity involved grants or withholds the chronoporting miracle imbued within the horologe. Activity in the past may herald miraculous...

Yeah. One of their big beefs is anything dealing with time.

Sovereign Court

Yay! Time to take like a (wo)man! :)

Thank you in advance for the feedback. I sincerely appreciate this opportunity to learn and develop better design skills.

Here it is:

Gloves of Dragonfly Eyes
Aura faint divination and evocation; CL 3rd
Slot hands; Price 1800 gp; Weight --

Description
These pale gloves are embroidered with azure thread in the outline of five dragonflies on each hand. Faceted obsidian stones are set as the eyes of each dragonfly, and as a free action the wearer can use one pair of eyes as an extra material component while casting an illusion spell of the glamer or figment subschool. At any time during the duration of the spell, the caster may point at a target and mentally will the gloves to activate (requiring a move action). The eyeless dragonfly immediately unravels and reforms in flight, carried by magical force to the intended target as per the magic missile spell. Rather than damaging the target, however, the dragonfly alights and allows the target to discern the illusion just as if a successful Will save had been made.

Should anyone other than the spellcaster don the gloves after a set of eyes is consumed but before the dragonfly is triggered, the gloves immediately activate with the new wearer as the target.

The gloves can only be attuned to one spell at a time; attempts to use a second pair of eyes fail until the earlier spell ends. When all ten dragonflies have been expended, the gloves serve merely as plain adornments for the hands.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, magic missile, see invisibility; Cost 900 gp


Abolitionist's Dust
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 9th
Slot none; Price 2250 gp; Weight -.
Description
Originally created by abolitionists for the purpose of cutting bonds, this dust reduces the hardness of a single metallic object, measuring less than five square feet in size, to 0 for thirty minutes. This does not reduce an item's hit-points, AC value or effectiveness in combat, only its hardness. If used in combat, the user must succeed with a combat maneuver attempt in order to strike an opponent's item with the dust. Magic items are allowed a DC 15 will save to negate the effect.
Construction
Requirements craft wondrous item, transmute rock to mud ; Cost 1125 gp

RPG Superstar 2013 Top 4 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 9 aka Matt Duval

Thank you for your feedback

Conclave Seeds
Aura strong transmutation; CL 12th
Slot --; Price 16000 gp (per Seed); Weight 1 lb.
Description

These golden acorns are cultivated by druids of the Wildwood Lodge to promote community among all those attuned to the natural world. When planted, a Seed grows into a gargantuan oak tree with amber leaves over the course of one day, creating a sanctuary and meeting place. They are cultivated and blessed in sets of two or more, with each Seed linked to others in that batch. The Seeds must be planted in soil above ground, but may be planted in any order and with any amount of time between plantings.

When a Seed reaches maturity, the area within a 40-ft radius becomes holy, as the hallow spell, and gains the environment of a temperate forest. All trees in that space gain hardness, hit points, and resistance to fire equivalent to steel.

In addition, the bond between the new tree and any other fully developed Seeds from its set on the same plane becomes vitalized, creating a network between them. For one week, any character with the woodland stride ability may touch one of the trees as a standard action to sense all other grown trees in that set. The character may then travel between them as a full-round action, melding into one tree and emerging from another.

After the week has elapsed, a creature using the tree stride spell may still travel between trees in the set regardless of distance between them.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, hallow, ironwood, tree stride, creator must be a druid; Cost 8000 gp (per Seed; minimum 2)


Ornod’s Ashen Doll
Aura strong transmutation; CL 18
Slot -; Price 170,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.

This one foot tall humanoid shaped doll has no features. It is made of a light grey material that leaves an ashy residue when handled.
To activate this item the user meditates for one minute. During that time a figure composed of dark black smoke coalesces in the exact shape and size of the user. The user’s consciousness is transferred to the smoke figure.

The user can see and hear through the figure, but is incapable of physically manipulating the environment. The figure has a fly movement of 10 feet. It automatically makes all fly skill checks and can move through extremely small openings. The figure has damage reduction and immunities as per the gaseous form spell. It has the saving throws, hit points, and ability scores of the user except that it has no strength or constitution. The figure has an AC of 10 plus modifiers from size and dexterity. It cannot be healed by any means. In dim lighting conditions it has a +5 competence bonus on stealth checks.
The user can cast spells through the figure that require at most somatic components. This includes spells that qualify through the Silent Spell or Eschew Material feats.

The figure dissipates for the following reasons: ten minutes have elapsed after activation, it is reduced to zero hit points, it entered any liquid, or it attempted to move by extradimensional travel. The user can dissipate the figure as a standard action. When the figure dissipates the user’s consciousness is transferred back to his body and the item cannot be activated again for 24 hours.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Items, gaseous form, twin form; Cost 85,000 gp


Well here is my item, please give me any and all feedback possible for I truly want to improve my writing.

Thanks

Talisman of Time
Aura moderate abjuration and evocation; CL 7th
Slot Neck; Price 13,000gp; Weight

DESCRIPTION
This is a finely crafted talisman made of gold and platinum strands woven together into a loop. In the center of the loop, is an hourglass with the top half crafted from a diamond and the lower half crafted from an emerald. A DC 20 Perception check reveals that the hourglass has a fine latch that locks it in place and allows one to flip over the hourglass inside the loop.

Once per day, as a move action, the hourglass can be turned over and the gems reversed, allowing the emerald’s color to start flowing into the diamond below like sands of an hourglass. Turning over the hourglass displaces time, transferring the actions of the wearer this round to an ally of the wearer’s choice, who then takes a standard action in the wearer’s place. This leaves the wearer flatfooted and unable to do any other actions this round.

CONSTRUCTION
Requirements: Craft Wondrous Item, Freedom of Movement, Imbue with Spell Ability; Cost 6,500gp

Contributor

Wicht wrote:
The Lantern of The Illumined Walk

*Seems like an interesting idea, but the mechanics are lacking here. How does this interact with magical darkness? Is there a weight limit for this light bridge? Are the 10 rounds total for the life of the lantern, or is that each use (1/day)? How does moving the lantern make it "run out of oil" and can it still function as a mundane lantern? What if I refill it with mundane oil?

Too many questions for a superstar item.

*Plus, we've seen some auto-bridging items before already. Nothing Superstar about the idea anymore.

*I like the item, but it doesn't quite deliver, for the reasons you've said.


Forceful Bracers
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 10th
Slot arms; Price 90,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
These bracers are each a foot long and are decorated with a single rune. Wearing the bracers grants the ability to mentally push others away from you. As a move action, you may push a single large, or smaller, living target within 30 feet. You may push them ten feet in a straight line away from you. If this movement is obstructed, or if the target cannot be pushed, they take 2d6 points of blunt damage instead. A successful DC 15 Fortitude negates this effect.
Construction
Requirements craft wondrous item, telekinesis ; Cost 45,000 gp


Thanks in advance for feedback from judges and anyone else for that matter.

Philosopher's Spell Guilders
Aura strong (no school); CL 12th
Slot --; Price varies; Weight
Description
These coin-like tokens shine with the unique brilliance of gold transmuted by the legendary philosopher’s stone. They often bear the likeness of creatures capable of metamorphosis such as caterpillars, tadpoles, or even werewolves. A spellcaster may expend a spell guilder to apply a metamagic feat to a spell as it is cast, whereupon the guilder turns to worthless lead. This does not change the spell slot of the altered spell. Similar to metamagic rods, each guilder is keyed to a specific metamagic feat and is limited by spell level. A caster may not use multiple guilders on a spell cast nor combine them with metamagic rods. It is permissible to combine a guilder with metamagic feats possessed by its bearer. In this case, only these feats adjust the slot of the spell being cast. Normal guilders can be used with spells of 6th level or lower. Lesser guilders can be used with spells of 3rd level or lower, while greater guilders can be used with spells of 9th level or lower.
Spell Guilder, Quicken
Price 2,000 gp (lesser), 4,000 gp (normal), 8,500 gp (greater)
The possessor of this guilder can expend it to cast one spell as though using the Quicken Spell feat.
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Quicken Spell; Cost 1,000 gp (lesser), 2,000 gp (normal), 4,250 gp (greater)
Spell Guilder, Enlarge
Price 150 gp (lesser), 550 gp (normal), 1,200 gp (greater)
The possessor of this guilder can expend it to cast one spell as though using the Enlarge Spell feat.
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Enlarge Spell; Cost 75 gp (lesser), 275 gp (normal), 600 gp (greater)

Dedicated Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7

Haunt-Clad Shroud
Aura strong necromancy [evil]; CL 17th
Slot chest; Price 18000 gp; Weight -
Description
The spirits trapped within these foul rags thirst for fear. They impose their spectral bodies on any who attack the wearer without firm resolve. When worn the item grants a deflection bonus to AC equal to the wearer's Charisma modifier provided that the attacker is shaken.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, soul bind; Cost 9000 gp

Many thanks in advance :)

Star Voter Season 6

Prise de fer Plastron
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 7th
Slot chest; Price 4,700 gp (+1), 10,500 gp (+2), 18,800 gp (+3), 29,500 gp (+4), 42,350 gp (+5); Weight 2 lbs.
Description
This soft leather duelist garment may be worn under armor or without it. After determining damage from an attacker's magical melee weapon, the wearer may activate the plastron as an immediate action. If the wearer is wielding a magical melee weapon, any special abilities on it are replaced by the special abilities of the striking weapon based on the type of prise de fer plastron worn. This effect lasts for 5 rounds. Weapon special ability rules still apply. Example: A bard wielding a +1 keen rapier and wearing a +2 prise de fer plastron struck by a +2 merciful disruption flaming burst mace may choose between a +1 merciful rapier or a +1 flaming burst rapier. She cannot utilize the disruption special ability. If the wearer is wielding two magical melee weapons or a magical double weapon, she may choose which one weapon or end to change. This ability functions three times per day and cannot be reactivated until a previous duration ends.
Construction
Requirements Craft Arms and Armor, Craft Wondrous Item, greater magic weapon, mnemonic enhancer; [/b]Cost[/b] 2,350 gp (+1), 5,250 gp (+2), 9,400 gp (+3), 14,750 gp (+4), 21,175 gp (+5)

Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8 aka Gio

Laurel of Magnificence
Aura Faint Enchantment(Copper) or Moderate Enchantment(Silver, Gold); CL 5th Slot Head; Price 5700gp(Copper), 10400gp(Silver), 17100gp (Gold); Weight
Description
This crown of delicate, shining leaves emits a warm and lucid light, granting a triumphant aura to its wearer. The most common laurels are made from thin copper, or pure silver, although laurels of gold leaves are not unheard of. Tales of champions wearing the golden laurel with pride are exchanged in admiration by warriors and knights alike. Once(Copper), Twice(Silver), or Thrice(Gold) per day as a free action, after a successfully performed combat maneuver you may choose to take one of three fighting stances to perform a champion's maneuvers.

Tactical Champion: While you are in this stance, you may ignore a target's cover, full defense and size bonuses to AC and CMD (if any).

Countering Champion: While you are in this stance, any opponent you threaten who takes any sort of movement, including a 5-foot step, provokes an attack of opportunity from you. Furthermore, any opponent you strike cannot make attacks of opportunity for a round.

Overwhelming Champion: While you are in this stance, you don't provoke attacks of opportunity when performing a combat maneuver, once per round you may attempt a disarm instantly after a successful melee attack, you may use any weapons while grappled and you can make a full attack at the end of a charge instead of a single attack.

You can't select the same stance more than once per day, and taking a stance while you are in another stance will automatically cancel the previous one. Each stance has a duration of 3 rounds
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Heroism; Cost 2850gp (Copper), 5700gp (Silver), 8550gp (Gold);

EDIT: Be as harsh as you may possibly be, i don't mind ^^.


Shroud of Necromorphosis
Aura moderate necromancy and transmutation; CL 11th
Slot -; Price 3,600 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
A disturbing stench of decay hangs heavily on this tattered rag of yellowing linen and numerous bloody stains cover its surface.
When placed over the corpse of a medium-sized creature of the humanoid type the corpse’s features are imprinted onto the shroud, and the face of the corpse is temporarily erased. This impression remains for an hour at which point, it fades away and the corpse’s visage reappears.
If the shroud is carefully placed over a living medium-sized humanoid creature, before the impression fades, the shroud melds with that creature, changing its appearance to exactly match that, which the corpse had in life. At the same time the corpse is transformed to appear as a dead version of the shroud’s bearer.
The shroud radiates a strong necromantic aura and a weaker transformation aura. Most detection spells, including true seeing, will not foil the disguise.
After each full hour the shroud’s bearer takes 1d4 point of Charisma damage, as the bearer's body rapidly starts to decompose.
If the shroud is not removed, by speaking the command word, within one hour of the impression’s creation, the corpse it was taken from rises as a revenant with the shroud bearer’s face. The shroud bearer becomes the subject of the revenant’s Reason to Hate ability.
If the bearer dies, the shroud separates from the bearer and the impression disappears. If the shroud is otherwise removed the impression also disappears. In either case a risen revenant is immediately destroyed. The shroud of necromorphsis can be used 1/day – all manners of use are a full-round action.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, alter self, create undead; Cost 1,800 gp

The Exchange

Comments on this by any and all are most welcome.

Phoenix Knights' Misericorde
Aura strong conjuration and enchantment; CL 15th
Slot neck; Price 22,425 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
This dagger-shaped pendant is made of a transparent, volcanic. Its crimson core beats with a faint, golden light. “Pick me up. Send me home,” it whispers to friendly ears.

Favored by knights opposing the foulest spawn of the lower planes, the pendant is activated and deactivated by a command word. When active, the magic of the item is triggered when the wearer is killed or is the subject of a successful attack that would trap or destroy their soul.

When triggered, the pendant pierces the wearer’s heart, and its hollow core fills with blood. The wearer’s soul is drawn into the core. The pendant then teleports away as the body is consumed in a column of fire, which fills the square it occupied for 15 rounds causing 3d6 points of fire damage per round to any creature inside (DC 19 reflex save for half).

The pendant appears either in a preset location, or in a random location upon dry land within 150’ of a member of the owners race; the choice is made upon activation, and usually determined by whether the wearer’s home is about to be overrun. The soul can draw creatures towards itself with a sympathy spell, once per day. It may whisper to anyone within 10’, and perceives its surroundings through the senses of anyone in physical contact.

The presence of the soul and part of the body combined within this item allows a raise dead spell to restore the wearer to life, as an exception to the normal requirements of that spell. Similarly, the wearer can be regenerated.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wonderous Item, flaming sphere, sympathy, trap the soul, teleport; Cost 11,212 gp

Grand Lodge

Greetings All, appreciate any and all feedback so sock it to me! Thank you again for all your time and effort!

Gem of Enduring Legacy
Aura Strong Divination; CL 15th
Slot -; Price 86,000 gp; Weight -

Description
Souls of ancient rulers form a chorus of kings indentured to provide guidance and insight to heirs who bear this extravagant jewel while enforcing a natural order of succession. The gem is commonly affixed to a crown, scepter, or other symbol of office but must be carried or worn to function. The gem attunes itself to the bearer over a period of 24 hours after which its powers may be used.

Once per day as an immediate action, the bearer may gain a +15 insight bonus to AC against a single attack or saving throw. Alternatively, this insight bonus may be applied to a single Charisma based or Knowledge skill check per day, and the user is treated as trained for that check. Regardless of the use, the insight bonus must be applied before knowing the outcome.

The bearer may call upon the chorus of kings once daily as a standard action to give counsel on future events. Only the user perceives this guidance and the exact nature of these manifestations are determined by the GM. Due to the cryptic nature of this guidance, the omens prove accurate 85% of the time. Sometimes, when the kingdom is in dire need, the omens manifest spontaneously as thoughts, dreams, or other visions at the GM’s discretion, and this spontaneous use counts as the daily use of the ability.

The soul of an attuned bearer joins the chorus of kings immediately upon death. Attempts to raise the bearer of the gem via Conjuration (healing) magic must make a caster level check (DC 25) or the spell fails.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Divination, Moment of Prescience; Cost 43,000gp

Grand Lodge Contributor , Dedicated Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9

Here goes! Thanks in advance!

Whispering Watcher
Aura faint divination; CL 3rd
Slot —; Price 1,200 gp; Weight 1/2 lb.
Description
This silver statuette, usually crafted in the shape of a crouching pseudodragon, quivers subtly when touched.

Three times per day as a standard action, when holding the statuette in hand, the user can mentally command it to open its mouth and emit powerful but inaudible vibrations in a 30-foot-radius burst. This is a sonic effect.

The air ripples around solid and liquid matter caught in the burst, making any invisible corporeal creatures and objects appear as blurred, indistinct shapes for three rounds. Affected creatures gain no bonus on Stealth checks for being invisible, but for all other purposes they are still considered invisible.

The vibrations do not affect visual figments like they affect real objects and creatures, and therefore, all creatures within line of sight receive a Will save to disbelieve any such illusions within the burst.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, detect magic, ghost sound, see invisibility; Cost 600 gp

RPG Superstar 2014 Top 16 , Star Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 8

Amulet of Reverse Incantation
Aura faint abjuration; CL 5th
Slot neck; Price 16,200 gp; Weight

Description

Suspended on this amulet’s delicate silver chain is an ivory cameo of a bearded, old wizard with identical faces on either side of his head. Three times per day, the amulet allows its wearer to recite spells with verbal components backwards and achieve a reverse effect, under the following circumstances:

Diametric Effect: If the wearer casts a spell that can counter or dispel another specific spell, he may activate the amulet to spontaneously convert the spell being cast into the spell which it specifically counters (for example, haste would be converted into slow).

Bonus/Penalty: If the wearer casts a spell that grants a bonus or penalty, he may activate the amulet so that a bonus-granting spell instead incurs an equal penalty and vice versa (for example, bull’s strength would incur a -4 penalty instead of granting a +4 bonus to Strength). A spell that consequently incurs a penalty instead of a bonus is no longer considered harmless (if it ever was). When used this way, the amulet cannot affect spells that have a permanent duration.

Cure/Inflict Spell: Lastly, if the wearer casts a cure or inflict spell, she may activate the amulet to spontaneously convert the spell being cast into the other type of the same spell level (for example, cure moderate wounds would be converted into inflict moderate wounds).

Activating the amulet is a free action.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, tongues, dispel magic; Cost 8,100 gp

Paizo Employee Developer , Dedicated Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8

Here is my "alt" item. Thanks in advance for any feedback, both from judges and other Paizo users.

Smoldering Sack
Aura faint evocation and transmutation; CL 5th
Slot -; Price 4,000 gp; Weight 4 lbs.
Description
This soot-colored sack is approximately 1 foot by 2 feet in size and appears from the outside to be filled with lumpy stones. Opening the sack reveals that it is in fact filled with smoldering coals, which produce moderate heat and a faint red glow. Any creature that reaches into the sack, or any object that enters the sack, takes 1d6 points of fire damage per round.

Once per day, the wielder of the smoldering sack can open the sack and command it to create a 20-ft. cube of fireworks or smoke adjacent to the wielder. These effects function as the pyrotechnics spell (DC 13), counting the sack as the fire source, except that they only affect creatures within the 20-ft. cube rather than within the normal range of the effects.

Additionally, if any fire source at least as large as a torch is ever placed within the smoldering sack, the sack explodes 1d4+1 rounds later, dealing 5d6 points of fire damage to all creatures within 20 ft. (Reflex DC 14 half) and creating fireworks or smoke (DC 13, randomly determine with equal chance of each) within that area. Dumping the coals out of the sack or destroying the sack also causes it to explode, with no delay. However it is produced, the explosion destroys the sack.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, pyrotechnics, fireball; Cost 2,000 gp

Scarab Sages Marathon Voter Season 7

Sean K Reynolds wrote:
*Plus, we've seen some auto-bridging items before already. Nothing Superstar about the idea anymore.

Funnily enough, that didn't even strike me until about a week after I submitted it.

Thanks Sean.

Contributor

Azmahel wrote:
Spell Syphon

*Draining caster levels is kind of intriguing, but carries a lot of bookkeeping problems. It can have a trickle down effect, whereby a caster could conceivably lose access to their higher levels of spells...or, for a low-level caster, reduce them to 0 and no spellcasting ability at all. That's a pretty powerful effect.

*Having it then transform into drinkable liquid for a boost to caster level takes it up another notch. I interpret that to mean you don't suddenly gain access to new levels of spells. A +4 increase to CL in one fell swoop is pretty big. For a damaging spell like fireball or lightning bolt that's +4d6 damage.

*I kind of wish the dust didn't mess with CLs at all. Instead, if it was an interference dust that forced casters to make Spellcraft or concentration checks on every spell cast during a certain duration, I think that would be enough. The spell siphon would then be pulling away some of the spell's energy and the caster would have to concentrate to maintain enough of it to still produce the desired effect.

*Price/Cost ratio isn't correct.


Having read the top 32 I have some guesses as to why this didn't make the cut -- but, what the heck, lay it on me. Even if it's "We received 1001 entries and this didn't make the top 1000."

Gauntlets of Desperate Defense
Aura Moderate transmutation; CL 11th
Slot hands; Price 40,000 gp; Weight 5 lbs.
Description
These silvery-gray adamantine locked gauntlets are often embossed with the symbol of the Knights of Ozem. When their wearer becomes nauseated, panicked, paralyzed, or stunned the gauntlets spring to life. The wearer doesn't drop held items when panicked or stunned; this ability applies even if the gauntlets are not locked. The wearer also continues to threaten squares, take attacks of opportunity, and count as an ally for the purposes of teamwork feats normally despite their nauseated, panicked, paralyzed, and/or stunned conditions. If one of these conditions would cause the wearer to be treated as having a Strength or Dexterity of 0, they ignore this penalty for the purposes of resolving any attacks of opportunity they take.

Should the wearer successfully hit and cause damage by taking an attack of opportunity allowed by the gauntlets despite a debilitating condition, they immediately receive another saving throw (if one was allowed to begin with) against each spell or effect that causes one of these conditions using the same DC as the original effect. If successful, the effect ends. If the wearer hits with an attack of opportunity and damages an enemy that is attempting to deliver a coup de grace to them, the coup de grace is prevented and the enemy instead automatically hits for normal damage.

The wearer is otherwise subject to normal penalties for their conditions and usual limitations on attacks of opportunity. The gauntlets only function when worn by a living creature.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, animate objects, remove paralysis, status; Cost 20,000 gp

RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka Phloid

Rucksack of Instant Armament
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 9th
Slot —; Price 3,000 gp Weight 3 lbs.
Description
Originally designed to allow mobility outside of combat while benefiting from heavy armor, this item has also become popular with spies who frequently change their identities. Expertly crafted of thick leather with a wood frame, the main compartment of this pack is large enough for an entire suit of full plate armor when disassembled and stacked. Its secondary compartment can hold up to 15 pounds or 1 cubic foot of equipment.
As long as the only item stored in the main compartment is a complete suit of armor or a single outfit of clothing, the wearer may activate the pack by command word. When activated, the pack opens and the armor or clothing quickly warps, whips, and slides into place across the wearer's body, replacing the previously worn garments. The replaced clothing or armor is neatly stacked in the main compartment and the pack closes itself. Neither set of garments is damaged in this transposition and all other equipment worn remains in place by adjusting for the new attire.
The pack will not activate if its user is in a tight space or the movement of the armor is otherwise restricted (i.e. user is squeezing, grappled, or carrying a large object in both arms). However, the pack will work for a mounted user.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, telekinesis; Cost 1,500 gp

Contributor

ulgulanoth wrote:
Egg of the Flame Toxoztesoma

*wall of text, could use a paragraph break

*really complicated
*poor grammar and spelling ("borrows into," long run-on sentences, intermittent colon and semicolon use)
*improper capitalization of ability scores and such
* it's basically a monster in a can (autoreject #4)
* Use of the word "owner." The "owner" may be miles away, with his minion using the item. We say "bearer," or "wearer" or "user."
*Turns your flesh into an advanced leech swarm, but even better stats, and with more powers. And turns your skeleton into a different monster) you turn into a diff monster, which is a skeleton but also an outsider. And you can control both of them. And you can use it to make an entirely different monster. In other words, it's trying to do way too much.

Congrats on being the first item submitted for this year's R1 competition, though. :)

RPG Superstar 2010 Top 32 aka Hydro

Eyes of the Time Thief
Aura strong transmutation; CL 16th
Slot eyes; Price 63,000 gp; Weight
Description

A silver figure-eight uniting two mirror lenses, this simple mask hides only the eyes and brow. When a command word is whispered these lenses briefly reveal a world of dizzying temporal depth: for a split second the histories and destinies of living creatures appear as things which swift hands might reach out and take. Once per day (and after wearing them for at least 24 hours) the Eyes of the Time Thief may be activated to steal from an adjacent creature's past, present or future, as described below. None of these effects allow a save; instead, the wearer makes a Sleight of Hand check as a standard action against the listed DC. She must choose which effect she is attempting before making the roll.

Take the Future (DC 20): The target becomes slowed for 10 rounds, and the wearer is affected as by the haste spell for 10 rounds.
Rob the Past (DC 30): You "steal" up to five minutes of the target's memory. This takes effect immediately, and allows you to recall the stolen memories as if they were your own, but otherwise duplicates the first application of modify memory.
Seize the Present (DC 40): The target is briefly frozen in time (paralyzed) for 1 round, and the wearer immediately gains a free round of apparent time in which to act (as the spell time stop, but lasting only one round).

The wearer must also succeed at a melee touch attack against targets who are aware of her in combat. Out of combat, targets don't even notice the attempt unless they succeed at an opposed Perception check (similar to other uses of the Sleight of Hand skill).

Construction
Requirements haste, modify memory, time stop; Cost 31,500 gp

Contributor

Lachlan Rocksoul wrote:
Ship in a bottle

*item has been done before... folding boat is basically the same item with a different inert form

*no need for a hard DC to open/ruin it... if people want to be dumb and ruin their treasure, let them ruin it.
*there's a lot of extraneous information--describing the boat when we know what a ship in a bottle looks like, saying that the fluid is harmless when nobody would think to drink it, etc.


I think I have some idea why this didn't make the cut, after having to try to explain how cool it was to my non-gamer wife and 7 year old son. Still, I guess I'm a glutton for punishment.

EDIT: I just noticed that the price is WAY too low... I think that was a typo. *sigh*

Paak’s Configuration Clasp

Aura faint transmutation; CL 9th

Slot none; Price 700 gp; Weight -

Description

This clasp appears to be a belt-buckle adorned by a single black carbuncle shot through with silver veins. When attached to a quiver, pouch, or backpack, it transforms the container into a different type of container - a quiver into a crossbow case or a backpack into a belt pouch for instance. Any magic abilities possessed by the object are retained, except that in the case of quiver or case, the type of ammunition the container is used for may change. An Efficient Quiver, for instance, could be changed to hold Sling Stones or Shuriken without effecting any other aspect of the Quiver’s function.
It can be attached to any container, magical or mundane, and can adjust it up to one size category up or down. Mundane containers have their internal volume increased or decreased as normal, but extra-dimensional and non-dimensional spaces are unaffected (though their openings might change in size).
If removed from the container it enchants, the container immediately reverts to its previous form, and any contents that are no longer able to be stored within appear next to the container.
Construction

Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Secret Chest; Cost 350 gp

The Exchange Star Voter Season 6

Well, forgot to final my final edit of the item from the submission window but the judges can grab that if necessary.

Sky Barnacle
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 10th
Slot none; Price 5,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.

This dome of blackened iron bears flowing prose written in Auran around its outer edge. When placed against a large flat side of an object and given a twist(a move action), the Barnacle attaches itself and emits a golden glow(as a candle).

The Barnacle can be attached to any inanimate object with a flat surface at least 10 inches across(the size of the Barnacle). While attached a Sky Barnacle serves to reduce the weight of the object by 2,000 pounds. If an object becomes weightless after attaching a Sky Barnacle it will begin to lift lazily into the air, floating about as if on an invisible sea.

In this state, the object can be pushed or pulled into the air or over obstacles. When pushed away it will only travel 5 feet before drifting to a stop. The object will stay in roughly the same orientation it was in when the Barnacle was attached allowing goods to be stored without fear of the object capsizing. For the purpose of pushing or pulling the object, it is considered to weigh only one-tenth normal.

For larger objects, the effects of attaching multiple Barnacles combine, decreasing the weight accordingly(by 2,000 pounds per Barnacle).

Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Levitation; Cost 2,500 gp


Featherweight Slippers
Aura faint transmutation; CL 3rd
Slot feet; Price 6,000 gp; Weight -
Description
These waterproof slippers are made of paper and glue, with a feather affixed on each heel. When you wear featherweight slippers, you step lightly with the weight of a feather. You leave no footprints, as if you were walking on hard ground, can walk across a grassy field with blades of grass bending slightly under you, or stand upon the thin branches at the top of a tree. You can step on most pressure plates and similar devices without activating them, and walk at half speed on the surface of still water, oil, or similar liquids without submerging. You do not sink into sand or snow, so these forms of terrain do not hamper your movement.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, levitate; Cost 3,000 gp

Shadow Lodge

Sean K Reynolds wrote:
Lachlan Rocksoul wrote:
Ship in a bottle

*item has been done before... folding boat is basically the same item with a different inert form

*no need for a hard DC to open/ruin it... if people want to be dumb and ruin their treasure, let them ruin it.
*there's a lot of extraneous information--describing the boat when we know what a ship in a bottle looks like, saying that the fluid is harmless when nobody would think to drink it, etc.

Thanks for the feedback. I didn't say the liquid inside was harmless (as a matter of fact I didn't state there was any liquid in the bottle at all lol). I said that if the bottle was set into any liquid (lethal or otherwise). And I put the hard DC so your player's kid didn't accidentally open it. rofl Again, thanks for the feedback.


Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber; Pathfinder Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

Amulet of the Mana Wastes
Aura Moderate Abjuration; CL 9th
Slot Neck; Price 30,000 gp; Weight -
Description
There are gems that are permanently altered by the swirling chaos storms of the Mana Wastes. When properly enchanted and set in an amulet these precious stones greatly impair the abilities of casters. When this amulet is exposed to normal or bright light the amulet causes any caster within 30 feet to take 1d6 points of nonlethal damage when they try to cast a spell. The caster can still cast the spell with a successful Concentration check. This also affects anyone who attempts to use a spell completion or spell trigger magic item. Any item that is always active is unaffected by this item.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Alarm, Pain Strike, Mass; Cost 15,000 gps

Liberty's Edge

Starfinder Charter Superscriber

Notation: Thanks ahead of time for the review, and no worries about the thickness of my skin, as I get the difference between criticism and attack.

Weaver's Kerchief
Aura moderate conjuration; CL 9th
Slot —; Price 116,680 gp; Weight
Description
Once per day the owner of this web-patterned kerchief may issue a command that allows them to translocate up to 760-feet, as if they had used dimension door. The destination must either be in line of sight or be a position that they have previously seen and studied. The translocation is masked by a billowing cloud of dusky, metallic smoke that solidifies into a rough sphere that is 20-feet in diameter and composed of surprisingly rigid and resilient web.
Those within the cloud as it solidifies must succeed at a Reflex save (DC 15) or become grappled. Regardless of the save, those within the cloud as it solidifies are now within the web’s area, which is considered difficult terrain. The web is laced with adamantine, thus making it quite durable and resistant to wear; those attempting to move through the web, or break free from it, must succeed at either a combat maneuver check or an Escape Artist check (DC 20). Failure of these checks will either continue the grapple, or causes the subject to become grappled. After nine rounds the web dissipates to a fine, inert dust that loses its metallic properties.
The web is not flammable, however it is conductive of electricity and if the web is hit with an electrical attack it deals an additional 2d4 points of electrical damage to those within its latticework, regardless of if they were the target of the electrical-based attack.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, dimension door, major creation, web, a piece of adamantine worth 50 gp; Cost 58,340 gp

Sovereign Court Dedicated Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7

OK, I could kick myself. I cannot locate the text file I used to type up the item I submitted this year.

The item was called "Guardian Amulet" (or I may have reversed it when I submitted ... I was running on minimal sleep in that time frame). If y'all can pull it and the write up, great, if not, not a big deal.

And thanks for doing the reviews for those of us who want to see what y'all thought. It is greatly appreciated.

Contributor

Andrew Christian wrote:
Searing Vestment of the Dawnflower

*unorthodox "use your damage as your CMB check" mechanic

*rays using splash mechanics are also strange (especially as part of a teleport)
*40 ft. radius is a HUGE circle of flame, bigger than most dungeon rooms
*has an italicized descriptive intro, which no magic item in the Core Rulebook does
*"Behind" doesn't exist in a game without facing.
*overall, cool idea, presentation and rules-fu is lacking

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