1001 Rules of Golarion


Lost Omens Campaign Setting General Discussion

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790. Butting ahead in line in the Boneyard really isn't worth it.


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I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:
788. I will refrain from saying "Gesundheit" whenever someone mentions Hamatulatsu.

Gesundheit


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791. No matter how many problems it would solve, you are not allowed to burn down the Blakros Museum.


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792. No, the unicorn does not fart rainbows.
793. They do however, impale things they don't like with their horns.
794. Lucky for you, unicorns like virgins. Oh, Calistrian I see.
795. CR of encounters appear closer than in mirror.
796. No, you cannot make your phylactery a rock on the moon.
797. Chewing a breath mint will not negate the effect of a Hezrou's stench.
798. No rebuilds past level 1. You want to change your character's sex, it's 2,250 GP now for the elixir.
799. A Chernasardo Ranger's Armor totally protects their vital organs. It covers their chest and... chest...
800. Soylent Green isn't made of people. It's made of orcs.


801. Nobody uses orcs anymore. It's Ghorans all the way down.


Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
Lloyd Jackson wrote:
801. Nobody uses orcs anymore. It's Ghorans all the way down.

802. Unless you're going for a Scarred Witch Doctor.


803. Your character will not stop a fight to roll little dice because 'that is how you fight'.

Scarab Sages

804. ...unless they are d4s. Caltrops!


805. No, Iomedae is not voice by Bea Arthur.


Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

806. Not allowed to kill the witnesses and then excuse it by saying "DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES!" with a lousy and obnoxious pirate accent. That is the whole reason why Speak with Dead was made.


pennywit wrote:
805. No, Iomedae is not voice by Bea Arthur.

Disagree

Liberty's Edge

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Dreaming Psion wrote:
806. Not allowed to kill the witnesses and then excuse it by saying "DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES!" with a lousy and obnoxious pirate accent. That is the whole reason why Speak with Dead was made.

*** Rule not applicable in the Shackles.


807. I canNOT serve two masters. It is either Mammon or my deity.
808. Despite all rumors to the contrary, I shall deny sleeping with the enemy at every opportunity.

Scarab Sages

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809. Paladins DO NOT subscribe to the philosophy of "the enemy of my enemy is my friend," and therefore may NOT consort with qlippoths on the grounds of "we both want to eradicate sin."

Liberty's Edge

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810. Orc is not the other "Other white meat"


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Panguinslayer7 wrote:
187. No the fifth archdaemon did not become a milkman. (kudos if you get that.)

Ronnie, the Fifth Rider of the Apokalyps, who left before they become famous in Terry Pratchett's Discworld (Thief of Time, I think)

*takes kudos and ran away*

Sovereign Court RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32, 2010 Top 8

811 I will not go into detail on my 'heart's desire' when fighting the female wishcaster
812 Even if I fail my save.
813 especially if I make my save.
814 I will not wait for the GM to total the damage before I remind him I have evasion, and made my save.
815 I will no longer sing "Hooked on evasion" when I make a reflex save
(All from a recent PFS scenario)

Scarab Sages

lucky7 wrote:
810. Orc is not the other "Other white meat"

Because it's green. Obviously.


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816. Transsexuals have personality traits beyond "trans" and "sexual."
817. Even Arsheans have personality traits beyond "trans" and "sexual."

Sovereign Court

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Pathfinder Maps, Rulebook, Starfinder Maps, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber
I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:
788. I will refrain from saying "Gesundheit" whenever someone mentions Hamatulatsu.

Gesundheit.


818. No, you cannot have a jackalope as a familiar. Wolpertingers on the other hand...

Liberty's Edge

819.If you are going to use someones mother to discribe something, use snickersimbas mother, he really doesn't mind.

Shadow Lodge

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820. Thanks to speak with dead, murder is now an acceptable alternative to diplomacy

Liberty's Edge

821.Hugging kolbolds is legal, but not always advisable.

Sovereign Court

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Pathfinder Maps, Rulebook, Starfinder Maps, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber
equinoxmaster wrote:

820. Thanks to speak with dead, murder is now an acceptable alternative to diplomacy

820a: Thanks to 'Speak with Dead', you really can 'shoot first and ask questions later'.


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822. You are not allowed to name your wizard Gandalf just so his battle cry can be "You shall not pass!"
823. Your wizard also can't be voice-acted by Ian McKellen.
824. Hobbits are not pathfinder halfings.
825. Not all magic rings are evil, insanely powerful artifacts bent on ruling the world.
826. No, you can't ride the giant eagles to the end of the campaign.
827. The BBEG does not have DR ∞/Women.

Shadow Lodge

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828. Desnans are not up all night to get lucky


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Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

829. The Prophets of Kalistrade do not wear white to make a simple fashion statement.
830. You are not allowed to make fun of the Prophets of Kalistrade for wearing white after Labor Day.
831. You are not allowed to glue wings onto the Prophets of Kalistrade to get them back into heaven.
832. You cannot "turn" the Prophets of Kalistrade. Nor will holy water hurt them. It will just make them wet and very irate.


Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
Arcanic Drake wrote:

8

824. Hobbits are not pathfinder halfings.

824a. More importantly, kender are not pathfinder halflings.

Arcanic Drake wrote:


826. No, you can't ride the giant eagles to the end of the campaign.

Aww, why not? I've totally got the right spell for it!

Grand Lodge

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AlgaeNymph wrote:
817. Even Arsheans have personality traits beyond "trans" and "sexual."

But, but... those are the two best things I've got! The beauty with which Arshea's blessed me transcends all mortal expectations! And I just can't help that second part... folks I meet just can't keep themselves off me!

Speaking of... that brings me to:

833. I will not cast unnatrual lust on the dragon, and designate the paladin of Irori as the target of his affection. And I probably shouldn't select myself as the target of his affection either.
834. Really, that spell's just not meant for things like dragons or demons, but sometimes you just have to, you know?

(Edit: fixing numbers because Dreaming Psion threw me off with his quotes!)


Dreaming Psion wrote:
Arcanic Drake wrote:


826. No, you can't ride the giant eagles to the end of the campaign.
Aww, why not? I've totally got the right spell for it!

That's actually pretty funny. Sorry... I was commenting on the whole "why didn't they just ride eagles to the end" discussion.

And why would you want to skip the adventure in a campaign anyway? I guess as a gm I wouldn't stop you from using/taking advantage of the spell... but I'm sorry I didn't mention the dragon and/or other evil/neutral flying creatures on your tail.

Scarab Sages

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835. I will not place a burning bag of dog shit on a demon's seal right before summoning it as a prank.

835. I will not wander around Andoran yelling "Howdy!" to everyone.

836. I will not try to make the Ulfen Guard laugh.

837. I will not try to "walk like an Osirian."

838. I will not accidentally refer to Qadira as "Calormen."


Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

839. Not allowed to ask every Ulfen we come across why he/she is not wearing a horned helmet.


840. Or disbelieve them whey they say it's magic, lest they give me a sample.


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841. If I come across a Hanspur baptimsal ceremony, I won't say "What is dead may never die" when they're done.


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842. The Unliving and Necromancer's Guild bylines clearly state that undead are not allowed behaviors that constitute Good Alignment.*
*Ghosts have an exemption because they're such emotional crybabies.

Silver Crusade

Pathfinder Maps, Pathfinder Accessories, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber
Panguinslayer7 wrote:
187. No the fifth archdaemon did not become a milkman. (kudos if you get that.)

Sounds like you've got some Omens there, Panguinslayer7. Good ones, assuredly.

Scarab Sages

Steve Mulhern PFS 81365 wrote:
Panguinslayer7 wrote:
187. No the fifth archdaemon did not become a milkman. (kudos if you get that.)

Sounds like you've got some Omens there, Panguinslayer7. Good ones, assuredly.

You are conflating your Pratchett apocalypse novels.


Belabras wrote:
Steve Mulhern PFS 81365 wrote:
Panguinslayer7 wrote:
187. No the fifth archdaemon did not become a milkman. (kudos if you get that.)

Sounds like you've got some Omens there, Panguinslayer7. Good ones, assuredly.

You are conflating your Pratchett apocalypse novels.

Thats the reference? Discworld? That's pretty freaking funny. Actually... has anyone tried to play a pathfinder Discworld campaign?


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843. The party's Bard can't play "Rains of Castamere" during a noble wedding in the Kingmaker AP


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844. The party's Bard is certainly permitted to play that song during any wedding involving a Blakros.


Pedantic Pundit, The wrote:

842. The Unliving and Necromancer's Guild bylines clearly state that undead are not allowed behaviors that constitute Good Alignment.*

*Ghosts have an exemption because they're such emotional crybabies.

845. I am not allowed to point out the many exceptions (besides ghosts) to the "all undead are evil" rule.


846. Wizards, stop letting your hawk familiars have sex with other animals. The hippogriff and griffin are enough. Thank you and don't forget to spay and neuter your familiars!

Silver Crusade

Pathfinder Maps, Pathfinder Accessories, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber
Arcanic Drake wrote:
Belabras wrote:
Steve Mulhern PFS 81365 wrote:
Panguinslayer7 wrote:
187. No the fifth archdaemon did not become a milkman. (kudos if you get that.)

Sounds like you've got some Omens there, Panguinslayer7. Good ones, assuredly.

You are conflating your Pratchett apocalypse novels.
Thats the reference? Discworld? That's pretty freaking funny. Actually... has anyone tried to play a pathfinder Discworld campaign?

This was what Penguinslayer was referring to.

Scarab Sages

Steve Mulhern PFS 81365 wrote:
Arcanic Drake wrote:
Belabras wrote:
Steve Mulhern PFS 81365 wrote:
Panguinslayer7 wrote:
187. No the fifth archdaemon did not become a milkman. (kudos if you get that.)

Sounds like you've got some Omens there, Panguinslayer7. Good ones, assuredly.

You are conflating your Pratchett apocalypse novels.
Thats the reference? Discworld? That's pretty freaking funny. Actually... has anyone tried to play a pathfinder Discworld campaign?
This was what Penguinslayer was referring to.

Wrong. The 5th Horseman is from Thief of Time.

Grievous Bodily Harm and his buddies aren't really horsemen.


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Arcanic Drake wrote:
Pedantic Pundit, The wrote:

842. The Unliving and Necromancer's Guild bylines clearly state that undead are not allowed behaviors that constitute Good Alignment.*

*Ghosts have an exemption because they're such emotional crybabies.
845. I am not allowed to point out the many exceptions (besides ghosts) to the "all undead are evil" rule.

847. Actually... I'm not allowed to point out any alignment exceptions.


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Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

848. After the Tarrasque is pushed back into the Pit of Gormuz, not allowed to say, "Tarrasque go down the hole!"

Dark Archive

Jennica Fortune wrote:
818. No, you cannot have a jackalope as a familiar.

Actually, it's pretty easy to. Just say your hare familiar is a jackalope. (I once did it with a wood elf wizard of mine.)

Grand Lodge

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Kilrex wrote:
846. Wizards, stop letting your hawk familiars have sex with other animals. The hippogriff and griffin are enough. Thank you and don't forget to spay and neuter your familiars!

849. I will not provide my familiar with enough spare gold to afford a Regeneration spell.

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