1001 Things To Break Your Player's Will To Live


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100. The first encounter is an Assimar, then an Aboleth, then an Aerial servant... see how long it takes them to work out you are doing the Bestiary IN ORDER from A-Z.


101. Take a monster that is traditionally weak, say a kobold. Give it 12 levels of Fighter, with appropriate magic gear for a PC of that level. All of it looks like normal kobold stuff though. Place in front of a group of low-level PCs (say 2nd or 3rd level), and watch as they get their butts kicked.

102. Gloat. About anything. Even if all you manage to do in an entire session is cause 1 point of damage total, gloat about it for the next few weeks.

103. Design an extremely challenging encounter for your players, one that hopefully leaves them in very poor condition after its over. Maybe even kill one or two of them. Then, as they are celebrating their victory, tell them that you were taking it easy on them.

104. All attacks against them automatically do maximum damage.

105. At the beginning of every combat round, roll a d6. Add the result to all of the monsters/NPCs AC. This way, every round they become harder to hit. Enjoy the looks of confusion on your players' faces as a roll that hit one round doesn't hit on the next round. Don't tell them why.


Derek Vande Brake wrote:
12. Puzzles that the players must solve. Especially difficult ones like a giant Sudoku puzzle. ;) (I did this one. My players, via death threats, extracted a promise never to repeat.)

We had a DM do this! He also replaced the numbers with correlating symbols. So first we had figure out what the puzzle was exactly, then code the symbols to numbers, and finally solve the puzzle.


ZomB wrote:


86. Get your cat to walk across the battle mat regularly

My cats do this on a regular basis and they LOVE to chase the minis around. We measured the largest one on the battle mat once, his official size was Titanic.


vixengmer wrote:
Derek Vande Brake wrote:
12. Puzzles that the players must solve. Especially difficult ones like a giant Sudoku puzzle. ;) (I did this one. My players, via death threats, extracted a promise never to repeat.)
We had a DM do this! He also replaced the numbers with correlating symbols. So first we had figure out what the puzzle was exactly, then code the symbols to numbers, and finally solve the puzzle.

So did we. It was 2.30 a.m. and we'd been exploring a puzzle-filled dungeon for around 10 hours when we realised with horror that the next door would only open when we'd completed a sudoku puzzle of arcane symbols. The happy libation of red wine all evening suddenly seemed a terrible liability. I can still hear the GM's demented laughter as it dawned on us. He sat back and smirked as we approached the puzzle with grim-faced stoicism.

"So tired...Can't focus on symbols...Must finish puzzle...Hate sudoku..."


Sudoku should be listed under the definition of Lawful Evil.

"You shall pay, Asmodeus, for blighting us with these interminable number puzzles. Mark my words, fiend, you shall pay."

*Shakes fist*


107. Inflict disco on your players as 'suitable background gaming music'... I recommend 'Stayin' Alive' due to its survival theme.


stormraven wrote:
107. Inflict disco on your players as 'suitable background gaming music'... I recommend 'Stayin' Alive' due to its survival theme.

*Ahem*

"Well, you can tell by the way I use my spells,
I'm a CoDzilla, no time for fails.
My DCs high, reality's torn,
I've been kicked ass since 3.0 was born.

"And now it's all right, it's O.K.
You just don't know how to play.
But you can try to understand,
How CoDzilla dominates the game.

"Whether you're a fighter,
Or whether you're a hider,
CoDzilla keeps you alive, keeps you alive.
Feel the city breakin'
And ev'rybody shakin'
Those are my spell, keeping you alive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha,
CoDzilla keeps you alive.
CoDzilla keeps you alive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha,
CoDzilla keeps you aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive."
*
*
*
*
*
With apologies to the BeeGees. And to myself, since I don't actually believe any of that. :)


108. Have a copy of John Wick's Play Dirty in plain sight at the gaming table.


109. Insist on using those new rules in the book you've only just bought that weekend and haven't had time to read through properly yet. Make sure you waste loads of time whilst flipping through the pages saying "Hold on, it's around here somewhere, no, honestly, it's really cool, hang on a bit and I'll find it, I'll get to it quicker if you stop asking me questions, wow, that's a really nice bit of artwork, I hadn't noticed that before, etc, etc..."

Scarab Sages

(Gets ready to get Cyber-Screamed at...)

110: Don't tell them, but include random bits of the F.A.T.A.L. RPG in your games.

"You are captured by the villainous Sir Tembreck, Knight of the Cockatrice...'
'Well, we inform him that our Allies will pay handsomely for our safe return...'
"Yes..." he says, as he smiles, "Safe...Well, you shall be alive, at any rate. Guards, get my...Special Weapons from the Room of Delights."

Then (While they stare in bewilderment), pull out those Rape Tables, check for Anal Circumference and Hymen Resistance...Oh, and don't forget to roll to see how 'big' they all are. It's gonna be a looonnnggggg night in the old Dungeon.

(Runs and hides)

-Uriel

Scarab Sages

111: No Resurrection. Modern gamers expect this as an automatic, what with video games and MMORGS.But, don't tell them until someone dies,and they drag the corpse back to get brought back...Or, have it some back as 'something else', like in so many great Horror flicks. (Sometimes They Come Back...Pet Cemetery,etc...)

Have them watch the scene from Highlander, when he comes back to life, and is kicked out as a Demon, stoned and left without any of his gear...

I actually hate Ressurection. It makes no sense from a RP/character standpoint. Your 15th lvl Viking Warrior finally made it to Valhalla...only to be dragged back by a selfish Player, because he wanted to keep playing you. Nope!
I tell Players at the outset that there is no res in mygames (They never really mind). I use a fate Point System, so survivability is a bot better than average.

-Uriel

Dark Archive

112: Constant Swarms. Nothing makes PC cry like auto damage.

Scarab Sages

113: Food Spoilage... With Fort saves vs. Diarrhea. Drunks getting dehydration headaches,along with the Negs the next day.

114: Taxes... What is the Tax on Plunder anyways...45%,55%?75%? A King has to make his Cash somewhere...

-Uriel


115: Roleplay EVERY situation/conversation in game, to get your armor cleaned, buying food and drink, getting lodging, having your mount groomed, describe all the players see to painstakingly minute detail. Waste entire sessions just coming to town, having a beer, spending the night and moving on.

116: Use unbalanced third party d10000 critical fumble table, with such fantastic entries such as TPK, lose all limbs and more.

117: Introduce houserules that completely warps aspects of the game and screws over several classes AFTER the players have made characters and written back-stories.

Scarab Sages

118: Unless the PCs take at least a half-hour stretching before engaging in good-old-monster-slaying, give them charlie horses, negatives for being out of breath, perhaps something akin to carpel-tunnel-syndrome for the Wizards from all of those repetitive spell gestures...

-Uriel


119: Leprechauns... swarms of pernicious, malicious, and unrelenting Leprechauns.

120: Play every bad guy as if he had an 18 INT and omniscience. And make sure he gets a soliloquy. This is particularly fun when the bad guy is, say, a Giant Centipede.

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