>>Ask *James Jacobs* ALL your Questions Here!<<


Off-Topic Discussions

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Grand Lodge

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Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber; Pathfinder Card Game Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber

Bah. Only James Jacob can answer my earthshaking questions.


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Dear Ask A Sho-, er, James Jacob:


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Pathfinder Adventure Path, Campaign Setting, Modules, Tales Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber

Dear James Jacobs, why can't Swedish soccer teams seem to qualify for the Champions League any longer?

Liberty's Edge

Can you identify the source of >>THIS<< Smell? Your screen is scratch and sniff right?


White, wheat, or raisin, hon?

snaps gum

Liberty's Edge

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Treppa wrote:

White, wheat, or raisin, hon?

snaps gum

Qarter cheez plate, scattered-smothered-covered, pull one cheese steak, drop two eggs


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Pathfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

How many licks does it take to get the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?

3 is not the right answer.

Liberty's Edge

Dear JJ:

Waffles? Or Pancakes?

Liberty's Edge

Cats or dogs?

The Exchange

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Dear JJ:

"How much wood, would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris?"

The Exchange

1 person marked this as a favorite.

What do you call a halfling that mates with a human?

What about a gnome?

Are there Dwelfs in Golarion?

Muls?

If a human can mate with an Orc and an Elf can a player play a half human 1/4 Elf or 1/4 Orc??

The Exchange

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wHY HELIOCENTRIC?

wHY NOT the turtle of enormous girth upon which its shell it holds the earth??


What happens if a manticore and a human female get that special feeling for each other?


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Handy for a Tenner?

Paizo Employee Creative Director

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Mairkurion Jr. wrote:

Dear JJ:

** spoiler omitted **

The sky is probably blue because of something you did. ;-P

Paizo Employee Creative Director

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Zombie Pizza Delivery Girl wrote:

Dear Ask A Sho-, er, James Jacob:

** spoiler omitted **

I buried you in the cold, cold ground because I didn't want the warm ground to make your delightful flesh rot away too quickly. One must preserve beauty, after all.

Paizo Employee Creative Director

2 people marked this as a favorite.
Kajehase wrote:
Dear James Jacobs, why can't Swedish soccer teams seem to qualify for the Champions League any longer?

It's all part of their 19 year plan of making other teams overconfident so that when the time is right they'll be able to strike with unwavering power and vim.

Paizo Employee Creative Director

4 people marked this as a favorite.
Studpuffin wrote:
Can you identify the source of >>THIS<< Smell? Your screen is scratch and sniff right?

It's tough, but I suspect it's probably lotus pollen harvested from the southernmost slopes of Mount Voormithadreth just before the fourth uprising of the weeping dead.

Paizo Employee Creative Director

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JMD031 wrote:
If you had a million dollars what would you buy?

One sixth of Steve Austin. Then I'd Ebay that back to him for a profit.

Paizo Employee Creative Director

Treppa wrote:

White, wheat, or raisin, hon?

snaps gum

Wheat.

Paizo Employee Creative Director

5 people marked this as a favorite.
JMD031 wrote:

How many licks does it take to get the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?

3 is not the right answer.

Not enough information. Human tongue or froghemoth tongue?

Paizo Employee Creative Director

5 people marked this as a favorite.
Jeremiziah wrote:

Dear JJ:

Waffles? Or Pancakes?

Pancakes. Waffles vex me by capturing the butter and creating an uneven spread of dairy product across the surface.

Paizo Employee Creative Director

18 people marked this as a favorite.
Studpuffin wrote:
Cats or dogs?

Cats.

Cats bury their feces. Dogs eat it.

Cats all the way.

Paizo Employee Creative Director

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Crimson Jester wrote:
** spoiler omitted **

If a woodchuck could Chuck Norris, he'd be the star of the Internet. He's not, so the answer is obviously zero. (BUT! That's a METRIC zero, so you have to convert.)

Contributor

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Billie Piper?

Paizo Employee Creative Director

14 people marked this as a favorite.
Crimson Jester wrote:
What do you call a halfling that mates with a human?

Stretch.

Crimson Jester wrote:
What about a gnome?

Reverse jailbait.

Crimson Jester wrote:
Are there Dwelfs in Golarion?

Nope. Elves are too awesome and dwarves too drunk to ever get together.

Crimson Jester wrote:
Muls?

There were once upon a time, but then Litigiouthrax, demon lord of Intellectual Property, brought them all back home to Athas.

Crimson Jester wrote:
If a human can mate with an Orc and an Elf can a player play a half human 1/4 Elf or 1/4 Orc??

If you're talking about a huorlf, then yes.

If you're talking about an ormulf, then no.
If you're talking about an elorman, then yes... but only if you send me the pictures.


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James Jacobs wrote:
Studpuffin wrote:
Cats or dogs?

Cats.

Cats bury their feces. Dogs eat it.

Cats all the way.

I am impressed with the wisdom handed down at such a late hour, I am disappointed that you are a cat person

Paizo Employee Creative Director

5 people marked this as a favorite.
Crimson Jester wrote:

wHY HELIOCENTRIC?

wHY NOT the turtle of enormous girth upon which its shell it holds the earth??

Because the turtles below that guy asked us not to. They're kind of annoyed the top dude gets all the press, and we empathize with them. Just because it's turtles all the way down doesn't mean the dude on top should be the star.

Paizo Employee Creative Director

6 people marked this as a favorite.
Mairkurion Jr. wrote:
What happens if a manticore and a human female get that special feeling for each other?

The manticore puts its tail (CENSORED) but only twice per hour.

Paizo Employee Creative Director

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Cosmo3PO wrote:
Sir, the possibility of James Jacobs successfully navigating an asteroid field is approximately 3720 to 1!

But there's only a 423 in 29 chance of that.

Paizo Employee Creative Director

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Goblin King Grog wrote:
Handy for a Tenner?

Speak common, you silly goblin!

Dark Archive

when shall we see the were-rex?

Paizo Employee Creative Director

brock wrote:
JJ: Light - particle or wave?

Particle. Waves are made of WATER, not light.

Sheesh. (rolls eyes)

Paizo Employee Creative Director

Lord Fyre wrote:
Is there anything that cannot be blamed on Cosmo?

Mustache shortages and missing Netflix discs.

Paizo Employee Creative Director

4 people marked this as a favorite.
The smitter wrote:
I am impressed with the wisdom handed down at such a late hour, I am disappointed that you are a cat person

I forgive you. (Pets the cat.)

Dark Archive

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

What do the numbers 12, 24, 35, 85, 89, 92, 95, 98, 134, 139 and possibly 112 have in common?

Liberty's Edge

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

What is best in life?

The Exchange

At which point does a circle begin?


Dear James Jacobs,

I like doing magic and stabbing people, but I am rubbish at performing and am not in any respect wise. What should I do with my life? Is there a full spell progression in my future?

Regards,
Gary


Pathfinder Adventure Path, Campaign Setting, Modules, Tales Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber

Who

Spoiler:
shot Olof Palme?

Where

Spoiler:
is Lord Lucan?

Spoiler:
And are those matters related?


2 people marked this as a favorite.
James Jacobs wrote:
Studpuffin wrote:
Cats or dogs?

Cats.

Cats bury their feces. Dogs eat it.

Cats all the way.

FAIL

You have conveniently forgotten several pertinent fcts:

Cats may not eat feces, but regurgitate many things, including wildlife, on floors. Especially in hallways used at O-dark-30.

Cats bury their feces, and tend to do it in incovenient areas, like a certain troll's vegetable garden.

Dogs are obviously a superior choice for an animal companion.


Pathfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?

Is the Simpsons still funny?

Do you miss me?


Pathfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber
James Jacobs wrote:
JMD031 wrote:

How many licks does it take to get the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?

3 is not the right answer.

Not enough information. Human tongue or froghemoth tongue?

I'll take either answer. And please hurry, the situation is growing dire.


Spank Trollham wrote:
James Jacobs wrote:
Studpuffin wrote:
Cats or dogs?

Cats.

Cats bury their feces. Dogs eat it.

Cats all the way.

FAIL

You have conveniently forgotten several pertinent fcts:

Cats may not eat feces, but regurgitate many things, including wildlife, on floors. Especially in hallways used at O-dark-30.

Cats bury their feces, and tend to do it in incovenient areas, like a certain troll's vegetable garden.

Dogs are obviously a superior choice for animal consumption.

FTFY {harfs up hairball in Spank's best dress shoes}

And don't blame me for you being so aggressive.

Grand Lodge

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Pathfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Roleplaying Guild Subscriber

Tastes good or less filling?

Scarab Sages

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Dear Mr. Jacobs:

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Where's Waldo?

If Train A left San Fransico at 9:00 am, and Train B left New York at 4:34 pm, how long would it take a single zombie to convert all of Kansas?

Liberty's Edge

2 people marked this as a favorite.

Why is soda cheaper than bottled water?


All hail the great James Jacobs! May his wisdom shine down on thee!

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