The Next Poster...


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RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32

Do you mind if I reach over and grab that soda while getting in a good "hello" hug?

The next poster just can't find what they are looking for.


I lost my marbles.

The next poster stole some of my marbles.

The Exchange

I also took some from that guy in Hook!

The next poster can't spell correctly.

Scarab Sages

Mpotatoy spelpotatoling ipotatos jupotatost fipotatone, whatpotatoever dpotatoo ypotatoou mepotatoan?

Thpotatoe next poster has all their dreams written by John Waters, directed by Clint Eastwood, and produced by Tim Burton, with music by John Williams.


So that's why I wake up with a headache and a smile every morning!

The next poster wants to send me a lot of money.


I do, because I just printed a whole batch of it in my garage this morning; pretty sure the ink's dry too. Don't spend it all in one place!

The next poster likes to swing.


Despite how bad this sounds:

But they keep kicking me out of the playground.

The next poster needs to take a little time, a little time to think things over.

The Exchange

I need to take a little time, a little time to think things over, think things over and stop repeating myself, stop repeating myself.

The next poster thinks he's in a Tom and Jerry Cartoon.


I always was a feisty little mouse.

The next poster thinks he is Cecil and has a friend Beanie.


Actually, Cecil was my brother.

The next poster better not post.

Grand Lodge

Too late already done.

The next poster's last words were, "what's the worst that could happen."

The Exchange

yeah, and then I was reanimated as a golem...

The next poster has an issue reading text upside down.


Good thing you didn't post upside down, I'd be P.O.'d

@ Midgard: LOL that you are the one who posted after my Beanie & Cecil post!

The next poster is confused by my comment to Midgard because he doesn't know who Beanie & Cecil are.

The Exchange

I feel like its a Final Fantasy joke... Mixed in with a Beanie Babies joke...

The next poster needs to get out less.

Scarab Sages

That way, I can spend more time reading your comix, eating your old Halloween costumes, and selling your secrets to the Bosnians!

The next poster gazed into the abyss, and was rather surprised by what gazed back.


It was my other eye!!!!

The next poster can't decide if he should wear his Pathfinder costume to work today or not.

Sovereign Court

Well my boss is a real dragon...

The next poster eats his sandwiches. But only when no one is watching.

Scarab Sages

Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber; Pathfinder Maps, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber

Of course I do; otherwise I would be eating while waiting on my customers.

The next poster eats Ice Cream after every meal.


In fact, I even melt ice cream to pour on my cereal in the morning. And then follow it up with more ice cream.

The next poster fights crime with his Aquaman-like ability to summon and command adorable little kittens...


I throw them out in front of the getaway cars making them skid and crash.

The next poster thinks that is a terrible thing to do to kittens.


It is! How could you do that to the poor adorable little kittens??!

The next poster just ate Pop Rocks and drank a Coke.


And I can't hear myself think over the rumbling and burbling that's occurring in my gut at the moment. The cat just left the room; this can't be good....

The next poster just can't fight this feeling anymore.


I've forgotten what I started fighting for.

The next poster is Just a singer in a Rock and Roll Band

Sovereign Court

It's the only thing that gets me out of the blues.

The next poster is covered in leaves.


Hey, I'm a treant! We're ALL covered in leaves!

The next poster was just shot in the gut.


And now I need a beer chaser.

The next poster plays in the sand.


...i do, and believe me, that damned sand gets EVERYWHERE.

the next poster talks to snowflakes.


It's only polite to respond when they talk to you.

The next poster really needs a bath.


At least I wash and dry easily.

The next poster wants to buy the world a Coke.


I'm just having trouble rounding up the 7 billion straws so everyone can share.

The next poster likes to prank call Batman with a cardboard cutout bat stencil and a powerful flashlight.

The Exchange

I have labeled it "The Pager"

The next poster can't stop listening to the Begees.


...because they keep me stayin' alive, of course.

the next poster collects dust bunnies.

Scarab Sages

I assemble all of my cats from scratch.

The next poster can't tell the difference between a "poster" and a "posterior" - with WACKY results!!!


I've whacked a few posteriors in my day.

The next poster can't get that mental image out of their brain.

Grand Lodge

There were limbs and skin everywhere.....

The next poster really needs to turn their shirt down a little.

The Exchange

TIRQ CLERIC CHANNEL! TURN UNDEAD SHIRT!!

The next poster doesn't do what I say.


I don't care what you say, putting a live lobster down my pants isn't that funny.

The next poster just realized the "awful truth" about Santa Claus.


He's been around for hundreds of years and can slip up and down a chimney,,,,,HE'S A VAMPIRE!!!!!

The next poster forgot it was Father's Day.


So THAT's why Dad looked disappointed when I dropped by his place to borrow his power drill, thanked him, and left!

The next poster just picked up a hitchhiker.

Scarab Sages

Sorry about your planet, mates.
Now then, Arthur, let's tour the GOOD parts of the galaxy in style!

The next poster died in the 1980s. Their body was stuffed, laquered, and used as a prop on Pee-Wee's Playhouse.


Crap! That's what happened to the rest of me? So Not Fair!

The next poster will try to recover my missing body.

Scarab Sages

Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber; Pathfinder Maps, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber

It will make a fine vessel for my lord and master.

The next poster wants to join my cult.


Yet only so I can destroy it from the inside.

The next poster has a fetish for squirrels.


Fine, I'll admit it....Sandy Cheeks makes me randy.

The next poster enjoys cooking in the nude.


Which has cost me several jobs in restaurants.

The next poster keeps letting Schrodinger's Cat out of the box. Just to mess with Schrodinger.


Actually, I am letting it out, and keeping it in the box. At the same time.

The next poster volunteers to DM a party of no less than 20 players.

Scarab Sages

Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber; Pathfinder Maps, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber

Once you have done a party of 13, how hard can 20 be?
Not kidding about a party of 13.

The next poster has the hotel room rented.


I hope the manager won't mind if I paint a pentagram on the floor to summon a succubus.

The next poster has gravy stains on his tie.

Liberty's Edge

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber

Fortunately, I haven't worn that tie in years.

The next poster smells slightly of spam after making whoopie.


I love making Whoopie Pies with spam in them, unfortunately I'm a little messy.

@ Charles, my record party size was 16, it was horrible.

The next poster can only DM for 30 minutes before falling asleep.

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