The Next Poster...


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Actually, Ross, it is Capitalized and ends with a !, hence, "Snu-snu!". Oh, and there is no reason to use single quotes when not quoting something within another quote; you really ought to use normal quotes.

The next poster will try to get away from the pedantry but fail.


I wouldn't know anything about all of that, since the only language I ever fully mastered is french.

But then, who needs to speak any other language than french ? You may find my words harsh, but, by Jove "c'est la vie !"

The next poster is very afraid.

Scarab Sages

*looks at Quiche Lisp* Oh no, it's a Normal View of Metaluna!!!

The next poster is an axe murderer. They murder axes.


An axe killed my father. It recently got out on parole, and now I'm Out For Justice!

The next poster is In For Justice!


Nonono. Not For Justice. For Great Justice!!!

The next poster had an inopportune meeting that changed them.


Once I met my twin.

I had to murder him, because there must always be only one me* !

But now... I can't for the life of me remember if I'm the real me or the other one, that impudent half-breed halfling impostor !

Alas ! Alas !

Now to calm my nerves I'm gonna drown some puppies.

* my numerous enemies agree with me on that point. Curse you, Jarl Bittercold !

The next poster is proud to play a rogue.


Yes I did take the trap finding trait with by axe and shield dwarf fighter.

The next poster can't stop watching the matrix trilogy.


I swallowed the green pill.

The next poster ate a week old donut.


GRRRRGH GURG EAT!!! DINNA KNOW IT WAS DONUT. TASTED GLOFFY. YUM.

NEXT POSTER HAD NOTHER GLOFFY FOOD.

Scarab Sages

Starfish pie with a cotton candy demi-glace - the quintessential gloffy course for any self-respecting meal.

Like Archie between Betty and Veronica, like Christine between Raoul and Erik, the next poster is caught in a love triangle with Koko the Gorilla and Bleached Otyugh.


........GURG EAT GORILLA??? GURG EAT THREE GORILLA???

NEXT POSTER WILL ANSWER.

Silver Crusade

*Red Mad Toilet* *Goes Full Popeye on Bleached Otyugh*

*Give New Face Now Share Funny Candy*


Why thank you, yes i'll have one of the fruity loops winegums.

The next poster had to stitch the limbs back onto a dislimbed black knight, after some questing king chopped them off.

Scarab Sages

I could repair him. I had the expertise. I was able to make him better than he was - better, stronger, faster, capable of picking simple locks and casting magic missile. What else was I to do, let him starve to death? The poor man expressed his hopes of eating my kneecaps - merely my kneecaps! - when I stumbled upon him.

The next poster will assist me with a remarkable new contraption I am developing: Something I've been calling an "interocitor."


It cuts in threads. Let me demonstrate: it works like this...

...

...

?


next

poster

will

know

what

to

do.


Alt + 00135.

The next poster will tell us how he got rid of that bloody paper clip.


I made a pact with the most insatiable darkness.....I clipped by taxes together and filed them.

The next poster has found the perfect allegory to convey the true message.

Sovereign Court

Those whomest partake in thy game of pathfinder and willingly embrace the elysian joy that others whom only allowest ignorance into their hearts reject, understand that the truest happiness is merely in the roll of the dice.

Sovereign Court

The next poster will like this attempt of mine and gladly dissect all of the demon lords.

Scarab Sages

Ah, an exquisite exercise in extraplanar biological studies! It will be an exceedingly difficult and dangerous one, though - fortunately, I still have access to that remarkable godslaying mechanical beast I was offered earlier! What fun this shall all surely be!

The next poster keeps their soul safely hidden within the eye of a needle, which is in turn hidden inside an egg, which itself is inside a duck, which is inside a rabbit, which is inside a great and ancient tree somewhere.


Or... At least that is what I want people to think.

The next poster is thinking of starting a soul-storage business to provide an alternative.


All Katras welcome.

The next poster has a new way to make money.


I will find a service or commodity people need and supply it at a reasonable price.

The next poster will enact taxes and laws to make this nearly impossible.

Scarab Sages

The "service or commodity" you've been supplying has been illegal for a while now, it's not my fault if I'm the first one to enforce it - slavery's bad, m'kay?

The next poster will go on a berserk crusade to totally redefine commonplace words and plunge us all into an Orwellian dystopia rather than accept that they've deservedly lost the long struggle.


From now on, 2/3 of the words in all languages with be replace with the word Grok.

The next poster will be resistant to change.

Scarab Sages

+4 bonus to saving throws versus polymorph/petrification - not bad. Thanks, Schism!

The next poster has a dream!


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Two long, pointy dreams, in fact, curling magnificently out of my forehead. Most people call them "horns', but I like to be different.

The next poster is also different - even more so, in fact


What can i say, these horns are from origin.
My quirk is i like tea, opposed to the usual bloody mary on sundays.

The next poster is Orthos' new driver.


"We're on a highway to hell. Highway to hell."

The next poster will finally reveal why they are called "stubby".

Sovereign Court

No need, everyone knows why already.

Now to start my Mortal Kombat tournament and the next poster is my second in command, who is responsible for recruiting fighters, gathering refreshments and organising security plus accommodation (basically, everything except deciding who fights who - that's my job!).


Ok, let's get those velociraptors into position - Security, Check.

I've got rooms booked at all of the nearby hotels for the fighters - Accommodations, Check.

No, the cookies go next to the milk, not the beer. And stop drinking the soda - that's for the fighters. And where are the barbecued ribs? Oh there they are, right next to the pile of bacon. So that just leaves the cheese and crackers and those are coming in tomorrow.

Now for the fighters...
I have the cast of The Expendables, the Predator, Groot (Groot? Why did he sign up?), Megatron, four adolescent mutant reptiles that claim to be ninjas, and Cosmo. Cosmo! Um, that could be trouble.

The next poster will reveal why each of these contenders has chosen to participate in the tournament.


With the exception of Cosmo, everyone else is there just to say they participated. Cosmo is there because everyone knows he will win.

The next poster is the bookmaker making the odds.


Making a huge profit out of it too.
A little fixing the game makes this interesting.

The next poster spends the saturday nights in the casino down the road as a waitress.


Best way to get intel on the pirates.

The next poster was found in the hot tub with something.


Look chickens need to be clean too, don't judge.

The next poster is the champion kombatant representing his/her realm in the Mortal Kombat tournament.


Matt Damon?

Matt Damon. Matt Damon.


[*applies a blunderbuss filled with gravel against the Puppet's temple. Presses the trigger*]

BOOM !

"What ? He wanted me to do it... or something to that effect...probably."

The next poster likes bananas, but is NOT Koko the Gorilla.


Grape Ape.....Grape Ape

The next poster liked the Twilight series.

Scarab Sages

Twilight Imperium is a sublime board game, and the expansions did nothing but improve it!

The next poster is offended by Quiche Lisp's bigoted assumption that Koko The Gorilla likes bananas (she is, after all, more of a persimmon fan).


Meh.

Eh?


Oy.

The next poster wants to BRING IT AWN HOME!!!

Scarab Sages

I really didn't want to bring the awn home, but it got stuck in my sock as I was walking by. They do that.

The next poster got sent to the Cornfield....


Indeed, i was tasked to make a circle there.

The next poster was abducted three times already...and received an anal probe.


The doctor said my prostate is fine.

The next poster doesn't actually play role playing games, just post on forums like an expert.

The Exchange

That's because I am an expert. At everything.

The next poster is in awe of my superior talents.

Scarab Sages

An expert is someone who knows more and more about less and less - therefore, to be an expert at everything almost seems like a mathematical paradox. Clearly then, I am in awe of your potential power to mass-murder robots simply by opening your mouth.

The next poster will attempt to answer a troubling social question: What is is that makes a man want to be a mouse?


The planes.

The next poster has an opportunity to get rid of a piece of hirself. If only they didn't have to make such a deal for it.

Scarab Sages

I went to a reputable plastic surgeon for a nose job, but all he did was make anti-Semitic remarks and insist my nose was a comically-oversized polystyrene fake and that I had a perfectly normal one underneath - I mean, that much was true, but dammit, that doesn't make it right!

The next poster is a Legend of Kyrandia LARPer.


And regardless of my concept I end up speaking like William Shatner.

The next poster has convinced imaginary numbers to be more real.

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