The Next Poster...


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Of course not him and I made a deal eons ago...

The next poster is Sissyls bloody, Gory headgear


And don't you forget it.

The next poster is confused, but has a metaexplanation that might work.


That's Gor-y, not Gory, and all ADM meant was that Sissyl's hat is made of a middle-aged academic who has been transported to a savvadge world of sweaty lust, manful fihgting and super philosophy, only to be turned into headgear for the esteemed poster above me.

The poster below me is esteemed for an entirely different reason.


I am Esteemed

The next poster has energy


Indeed! I am full of Vim and Vigor!

...and an assortment of... other fluids.

The next poster will help me expel some of this energy!

(...and an assortment of... other fluids.)


Drink this. It is a special, magical even, diuretic.

The next poster invented it!

Sovereign Court

I got the inspiration from when Pulg killed me with a garlic infused enema.

The next poster was the one who resurrected me.


I felt guilty.

The next person has borrowed a different feeling.


I got tired of anger so I returned it and borrowed sadness. Hope you don't mind!

The next poster was the one that started the fire Billy Joel was talking about.


Yes. What many people do not know is that the "fire" he spoke of was metaphorical. Rather than a physical fire, it was a communicable infection of the bladder and urethra. Ancient, intelligent, malevolent.

"It was always burnin' since the world's been turnin'."

The next poster has been having trouble... "down there." :points toward groin:


You'd be having trouble down there too if yours also had teeth and a mind of its own. I can't actually "wrestle with Jimmy" because it turns into an all out fight.

The next poster is Weezing when they're Saying It Ain't So.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

It . . . *wheeze* . . . ain't . . . *wheeze* . . . so!

The next poster can dance if the next poster wants to . . .


Is the sprinkler a dance?

The next poster is running for president and needs the votes!


Yes. My slogan is "If I'm in Washington, I'm not near you."

The next poster is my "running mate".


I believe my official title is "Running Away From You, Mate!"

The next poster brought the picnic basket.


UUUUUUNH, RANGER BRAAAIIIINS

The next poster would like to share their plans for surviving the Boo-Boo Apocalypse.


They key is to have done things so abhorrent, so unnatural, that even the insensate undead instinctively know to give you a wide berth, lest you perform acts that would make even the walking dead weep from shame.

The next poster has crafted the perfect weapon to use against the undead.


It is a rifle with a portal to the Positive Energy Plane inside to, with focusing mirrors to shoot a powerful ray of life energy. It also blows living things up with too much life.

However, those living beings with no life (such as yours truly) become the life of all parties for 1d4 hours after being shot.

The next poster already has an advertisement campaign ready for this gun.


"Put one in your dungeon and the gunslingers will beat a path to your door!"

The next poster has more funny slogans!


"A broken body is a martyr. A broken spirit is a message."

"You'll never know how much is too much until you dare to cross over that line."

"A little lemon-oil will take that stain right out."

"Having trouble with the old 'back passage'? A bit too much wine, too much spicy food, or too much...[i]recreation[/.i]? Try GoatToucher brand Rump Ointment(tm)! Now with the sent of lavender and regret!"

The next poster lives by one of these maxims.


I had blood and guts all over my nice suit so I tried lemon oil and WOW! It was cleaned instantly, I will never go back to the old way of doing things!

The next poster has a stache of Maxim's


And what a 'stache it is.

The next poster is the lord of the untamed steppes.


You know when you are going up or down stairs, you trip, and you swear the step moved to cause it? My untamed steps at work!

The next poster is a master of another house staple, untamed!

Scarab Sages

CLOSETS! CLOSETS EVERYWHERE, THAT GO ANYWHERE! A-HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!!!

The next poster invented a gun specially designed to destroy other guns.


I call it the love-gun! wink wink

The next poster will stop throwing things at my eyeballs.


I'd be wasting my time. You haven't got any eyeballs.

The next poster, having discovered that the sun does actually shine out of their behind, is going off to destroy some Undead.


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It is great for destroying undead, but it also triggers lycanthropy . . . It is also a full moon.

The next poster is a wereGoatToucher . . .


I'm not sure I want to post

The mext poster has never crossed thread topics.


ADM knows that the paladin fell because he crossed thread topics and was banned while not being allowed to rule the city.

The next poster wants to go back to Constantinople...


Been a long time gone, Consantinople.

The next poster has an offer you can't refuse.


I offer you air.

The next poster knows that since there is no time like the present, they want to present the present.


I'm going to present the present as in present in your presence.

The next poster past the past so fast, and is now two tense.


Did someone says "Two Tents"? Yeah, I passed two tents back there a bout a half hour's journey <points to the left> as the crow flies; or as they say where I come from "as the Mothman flies".

The next poster knows where the treasure is buried.


AYE MATEY, I DO KNOW WHERE THAT TREASURE BE BURIED!

The nest poster will find a rare necklace in the said treasure chest.


Hey!

It's an activated tachyon moon crystal amulet, designed by precision quantum shamans to vibrate at the same frequency as your most intimate chakras and surround you with an eternal bubble of mindful wellnessism!

The next poster has also had a product endorsed by Paltrow.


Its sole value is the ability to make me money by selling it to dupes.

The next poster made a fortune selling dupes to other dupes.

Dark Archive

Because of course, what every true fool wants most is their very own clone!

BEHOLD! I have successfully hybridized the next poster with a rafflesia flower!


You were dead anyway?

The next poster can post simultaneously in 6 different threads


I can, but nobody has time for that.

The next poster doubts there post.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Is this my real post?
Are these just alligators?
Caught in a landslide
No escape from the moderators.

Open my cupboard
Look up from the keyboard and seeeeeeeeee.

The next poster plays the cowbell in a rock band.


I have been able to buy a small South Pacific island from the royalties I receive from 'Don't Fear The Reaper'

The next poster doesn't fear Reaper Miniatures.


I love miniatures!
Without a battlemat and miniatures, I might not want to play.

The next poster has also had a bad experience with playing "blind".


1 person marked this as a favorite.

I spent half the session at the wrong table . . . in the restaurant next door. That elderly couple was nice, though...

The next poster was at said restaurant.


I was, I saw it all with my own eyes...oops my bad...

The next poster went platinum.


Yeah, I dyed my mane platinum. It wasn't a good look for me. Plus, that was back when I sported a perm. The whole thing kept me from being allowed in the clubs...or restaurants...retail stores...bus stops...hell, even my own home.

The next poster is not allow to leave the planet.


I had my intergalactic vacation coming up...I don't think the tickets are refundable, or the ship for that matter.

The next poster is the complaint compartment answering my heated call about the tickets. Also the ship.


Complaint department? Where do I sign up?

The next poster has memorised all the cards in a card game


SNAP!

...

SNAP!

....

SNAAAAAPPPP!!!!

The next poster is a contract bridge troll.


It's only part-time. I do a lot of odd jobs to supplement my real job of fortune telling. It's good to have a lot of jobs because you just never know when the job may dry up. By the way, Pulg, that will be £14 if you want to cross.

The next poster has invented their own currency.

Scarab Sages

The Closet-Denarius (CD)! Denominations take the following forms:

ankle-length sock: CD-.1
knee-high sock: CD-1
Z-Bot: CD-5
beeswax candle: CD-10
live barnacle: CD-25
bar of artisan soap: CD-75
Closet door: CD-144
gilded crab: CD-750
human shadow: CD-10,000

The next poster has been made into a pie.

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