Let's see... safety buttons, check.
Last resort eject seat, check.
Cybernetic interface, check.
Commlink online, check.
Weapons functional, CHECK!!
The next poster will be the reporter at the scene, where i will pilot my mech to victory.
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*Looks through a pair of binoculars.*
I see the mech moving towards Absolem at a slow but purposeful pace.
*Looks a bit more.*
The mech is firing its entire artillery and has reduced the city to a smouldering crater.
*Looks yet again.*
Now the mech is turning its attention to GoatToucher Island and using a secret nuclear missile (that I didn't know about) on it.
*Looks for a final time.*
The missile has hit its target, but nothing happened.
Next poster, I think it would be best if you rebuild the city and find out why the missile didn't work.
Alright.
The 9th level spell 'Create Lego' should give me the raw materials I need. Then, I shall summon an army of enthusiastic Danish Dwarves and leave them to it.
As to why the missile didn't work, GoatToucher Island is surrounded by such a thick field of Raunch Energy that nothing can, um, penetrate it. Maybe we should try painting the missile pink and adding a pair of 'rabbit ears' to the top.
The next poster is worried about Raunch Energy levels in their neighbourhood.
Goats are out? Raunch energy levels off the chart? Looks like it's Monday again. I'll go get my mop.
The next poster is rampaging through downtown Tokyo.
Who would have thought that Hank Pym was giving away Pym Particles for Trick-or-Treating for the past three years for anyone not wearing a superhero or villain costume? KahnyaGnorc knew. And that is why, for the past three years, they went dressed as a wheel of cheese.
The next poster accompanied KahnyaGnorc on their trick-or-treating rounds dressed as something that goes well with cheese.
I went as a mouse trap.
The next poster likes a weird food.
*chewing on an indescribable conglomerate of muck found in a dumpster*
Don't judge my ancestral heritage!
The next poster is ashamed of their ancestral heritage.
YES! SAFETY BEAR CHEWS HIS HOCKEY STICK TOO MUCH! BUT IT TASTES SO GOOD!
THE NEXT POSTER HAS DECIDED TO TAKE SAFETY BEARS JOB OFFER AND BECOME THE GOD OF SAFETY!
Captain Pulg-it! He's a hero! Gonna take pollution to his local Hooters franchise for a bucket of buffalo wings and some sweaty, sweaty leering!
The next poster has a better idea for a classy date, and a bright blue mullet.
Hitler Loves the World Wound. So many pineapples!
The next poster has committed an atrocity or two in their day.
Sunk Atlantis because of some bad service I got at a restaurant there. Got Aroden so drunk he died of alcohol poisoning. Created the first demon on a dare. Dated Baba Yaga. Yeah, I've done my fair share of things in my younger days.
The next poster is also responsible for the death of a god in a most unexpected way.
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Well, it turns out that Pan is not actually a kitchen utensil, and cannot be successfully used to boil soup. Who'd'a thunk it?
The next poster is presently heartbroken.
WAAH!!!!SAFETY BEAR'S GIRLFRIEND BROKE UP WITH HIM TO DATE DANGER BEAR!!!
THE NEXT POSTER HAS BEEN HIRED TO GET REVENGE ON DANGER BEAR!!!
YES!
Doggies and ferretzes make good rug.
Next pozter went up against a South Korean gamer on DOTA, and lost.....and now needs support talk to cheer up.
I don't even know what a dota is! I just wanted to chat with some folks across the world! But people kept screaming at me and yelling that I was a scrub! *sob*
The next poster is about to show us their true power!
I voted for Aroden. He was a no show.
The next poster is one of the others.
The Flesh Flowers hunger...
The next poster is a oenophile.
I may be a savage killing machine but even I have my hobbies. In fact, with my excellent sense of smell I can detect where in the vineyard the grapes for a particular Cabernet Sauvignon grew.
The next poster operates a vineyard in a most unusual location.
True, but if I showed it to you, I would have to eat you.
The next poster is a semaphore.
"I can whistle, I can play
I can dance the 'Shepherd's Hey'"
And that's 'Hey' as in 'Hey, GoatToucher! Get the heck away from my flock!"
The next poster is lost in the wheels of confusion.
No, it's fine, I know where I am! All I have to do is find the starting point and then I'll be a-okay!
The next poster is preparing a Thanksgiving feast for everyone in the thread.
I did, but no one RSVP'd, so I donated it all to the food shelter.
The next poster was once a turkey that hid from the farmer's axe.
Darn that BitCoin ad...
Erasing spamware...erase complete.
The next poster is a groupie of Jurassic Bard
That's right! The key you need to open your lockbox is hidden behind... A SLIDING BLOCK PUZZLE!!! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
The next poster has a very bizarre New Year's resolution.
To spread the Cult of Cosmo.
The next poster has been lighting fireworks -before- clock hits 2017.
Then I would have giant robot wings with giant robot guns on the wings and six arms and six guns on each arm and a gun and wings.
The next poster believes in life after love, and consensual auto-tuning.
Indeed! I believe in love after love and consensual everything!
The next poster likes swimming naked in the moonlight.
Swimming, dancing, raiding... Clothes are overrated.
Next poster explains why.
Since full cover body paint is a thing too.
The next poster has booked these three ladies for a stage act next week.
I really like performances and I am a gargantuan dragon, I need the whole row for myself!
The next poster keeps complaining because the dragon in the front row won't let him see the stage with his gargantuan body.