The next poster had the privilege of experiencing a steak and stake combo.
My vampire minions did not have a good day. Who knew you could enchant steak with holy power? Well, I do. Now, anyway.
The next poster is trapped in some kind of maze.
Stupid bureaucratic red tape - this is a maze even the father of all minotaurs couldn't navigate, even with a guide and map.
The next poster is secretly the mother of all minotaurs.
...I'd prefer not talking about it. No, really.
The next poster is a damn liar!
That's the truth.
The next poster was once asked a question so mind-boggling that a vein burst in their head.
Nhh.gghhaa.....NOOOOOO!!!!
Next poster haz bought atomic missile, and will fire it at random continent.
AWAY, GRUES, AWAY!
The next poster is trapped in someone's hair.
Excuse me? Does someone have a map to Pulg's scalp? I seem to have been going in circles for hours!
The next poster just lost a bet that they wish they hadn't made.
I bet you that you can't keep a dragon in my hair for 24 hours without me notic -
Oh, bugger. That means that *I* have to go on the double-date with GoatToucher and Rovagug.
The next poster will describe what they saw when they peeped through Sarenrae's bathroom window
She's smoking HOT, i tell you, BLAZING HOT.
The next poster will coordinate the reconstruction of Australia, and drops a bomb on another continent out of frustration.
Where am I going to find platypuses, koalas, and giant nightmare-inducing spiders this time? Gah, this is frustrating!
* slams fist down upon the launch button *
Oops. There goes half of Asia. Dangit!
The next poster made the mistake of peeping into Calistria's bedroom while she was entertaining both an angel and a demon.
Mistake? It was an inspiration! I took notes with one hand and [REDACTED!] several times with the other!
The next poster will read my (extremely detailed and descriptive) notes in order to transfer them to digital media.
You've asked me to do some pretty reprehensible things before, but this is... par for the course, really. A bit worse in most respects, actually. Well... done?
Welp. Gotta get typing.
The next poster just discovered something reprehensible.
I have an idea whose underwear these belong to but I really don't want to know.
The next poster once enrolled in Clown College.
Nearly right - I rolled clowns in collagen.
Not sure why. Maybe you just had to be there.
The next poster has just ticked off something big on their bucket list.
Yes...JurassicBard didn't seem to like me saying there's a bigger badder dinosaur around. Probably a matter of time before he comes find me here.
The next poster has successfully crossbred a chipmunk with a kangaroo.
WH- Nearly right - I crossbred with a chipmunk and a kangaroo.
Did you know that chipmunks can cry and kangaroos can feel shame? I did not!
JB-:what ensues is not at all what Jurassic Bard expected, and how he needs to be hosed off:
The misfortune the next poster has been experiencing lately is the result of my unnatural designs.
It almost always is. In this case, it involves buckets of chipmunk and kangaroo viscera that I'm having problems disposing off.
The next poster knows where I can get rid of 22 buckets of unused chipmunk and kangaroo parts.
Mmmm, chipmunk and kangaroo....
* smells the buckets *
On second thought...
I know of a few fast food joints looking to add to their menus.
The next poster is a franchise owner of one of the fast food joints and offers me a fair price for the animal parts.
The ride apparently doesn't take you back to your starting point and now I'm trapped in a hellish dimension whose conditions barely meet the standards of life.
The next poster lives in this dimension.
Can't really afford the rent anywhere else. Commute to my job's a nightmare too. As in I have to ride a flaming horse to work. It's not as fun as it sounds.
The next poster is transforming into their ultimate form and unleashing their true power!
Soon I shall become...
GREAT UNCLE TEDDY!!!
And there shall be no stopping me from spoiling your children.
Bwaa haa haa haa!
The next poster is part of my ultimate attack.
Hello. I'd never been weaponized before, and wanted to see what it's about.
The next poster is also a walking war crime.
Of course you didn't [redacted] - you [redacted]. And it wasn't in front of [redacted]'s family - it was in front of [redacted]'s friends. And I know it's physically impossible for you to do it while [redacted].
The next person can confirm the truth of my statement.
They asked me to do it, okay? Shut up.
The next poster solved an important problem solely with potatoes.
YES! THE POTATOES WERE RAISING A CULT TO TRY AND IMPAIR SAFETY BEARS EFFORTS TO CREATE A CULT OF HIS OWN! SO, HE TOOK THE POTATOES, AND HIT ONE POTATO WITH THE OTHER, AND THEN ATE THE REST!..................*BURP!*
THE NEXT POSTER IS PART OF SAFETY BEARS CULT!
I'm in it for the snacks, mostly. I'll like as not commit some sort of atrocity in the cult's name and then turn the cult in to the authorities for the reward within the next couple of days.
the next poster is my partner in crime.
He's right, you know. Those snacks are phenomenal. So much so that we started our own cult to have two scams going at once.
The next poster really believes in the fake cult's message.
RRRAAAWWWRRR*
*He's my boyfriend.
RAAAWWRRRRR!*
*The next poster is jealous.
I'll just say KahnyaGnorc has a strange thing for rangers.
The next poster is technically a ranger.
It's called TOASTY, whereby i grill sinners between two irons, above a fire pit.
The next poster has heard the agonizing screams, and is suffering from insomnia due to it.
The screams just stopped and now I can't sleep - they were so soothing.
The next poster shall volunteer members of their family so TFF can continue his grilling of sinners.
Huh. The door was unlocked this whole time. Whaddayaknow.
The next poster really wishes that they remembered to lock the door earlier.
H'mmm, let's see... Pink sparkly PVC chaps... Two pumpkins... Toto's Greatest Hits... Warm sausage meat...
Well, that's me sorted. Now, what about this punishment?
The next poster is both cruel and unusual.
Lets just skip the dream and go straight to you "twisting it".
The next poster likes to twist and shout.
Indeed, with this torture device, the infernal inquisitors can squeeze the answers out of you. All while laughing at the top of their longues.
The next poster has helped Japan to hack into Russia & the USA national security systems, and it hasn't been discovered by those countries.
