So a player in my ongoing Pathfinder game drew the "Marriage" card from a Harrow Deck of Many Things. As a result of the draw he has agreed to marry an Efreet princess, in one months (game) time.
Now, the card traditionally requires the groom-to-be to plan an opulent wedding, but I would prefer something less tedious for the player to prove his devotion to what I intend to be a very spoiled Efreet princess. An Efreet 'Bridezilla,' to use the common term.
I would like suggestions regarding what a spoiled Efreet princess would ask her betrothed to provide. Demands as to the ring, the cake--that sort of thing, spun through the Pathfinder centrifuge. Ideally, these would be interesting quest fuel, rather than things that are simply expensive. The other members of the part may be willing to help him hunt down an Ioborian Frost-Boar for the wedding feast, but they probably wouldn't be willing to turn over three adventure's worth of profits to finance an absurdly expensive ring.
So, any ideas?
I'm thinking the PC should be required to provide some sort of elaborate ice sculpture.
and the wedding has to take place on the elemental plane of fire and no that is no excuse for the statue melting.
And you know the player has to come up with love poetry.
And she absolutley has to taste this fabled 'eyes-cream' - or 'I-scream', or whatever it's called -, since the Primes insist it's delicious. And yes, at the party. On the Elemental Plane of Fire. What does it mean 'it would melt' ? Now don't start making excuses on this, too !!!
Actually, I would be assuming bringing Ice to the Fire Elemental Plane, and to a wedding to an Efreeti especially, one of the greatest social faux-paus the Players could stumble into.
1) Player better use some heavy-duty magic to give himself Fire Resistance 10 at the very least, else the first kiss with his new blushing bride will burn the lower half of his face off, let alone the other maritial duties! Greater Fire Resistance Condoms might give 'Little Hero' some protection but could upset the Grand Sultan, who is expecting the pitter-patter of tiny Efreet feet sometime within the next few years or so!
2) In regards to Bridezilla's demands, since she is a princess and probably related to the Grand Sultan himself, PC in question better not be a player else he is gonna die. Horribly. PC had better call off any mortal flings/trysts/etc else he is going to suffer horribly.
3) Player needs to make himself permanently Large-sized. Now. Otherwise the only thing coming out of the bedroom will be laughter from the Bride and a river of tears from the Groom. But in all seriousness, Large Size, or failing that finding some method to accquire the Fire Subtype will go a long way to making this a long, happy relationship (assuming the Alignments of both parties don't clash overmuch!)
4) Bridezilla will probably request potent gifts from the other three elemental planes as a sign that her new husband-to-be has the power to protect and cater to her every need. A flawless diamond from the heart of the Elemental Plane of Earth would probably be the easiest thing the PC can get a hold of, at least 10,000 gold worth. Next up would be something equally valuable from the Elemental Plane of Air, probably some of those Solid Clouds for the Efreeti Princess to use as either a bed or as ornaments in her garden, and from the Elemental Plane of Water, something rare such as a live Huge-Sized Fiendish Turtle to be served as a main course on the big day itself, or perhaps a string of Steam Mephits to serve as servants for her new household.
5) Family Matters: PCs have just screwed themselves out of fighting any enemies even remotely related to the Efreeti Empire. Hubbie gets a tap on the shoulder from a very miffed missus who asks him what in the Inferno he is doing embarrasing her by killing off her fifth cousin, seven times removed, best customers? Also expect the Janni, Djinni and the Celestial Planes to take a dim view of the PC in question as he's married to a being of pure Flame that tends to fall on the Evil side of the equation.
And you know the player has to come up with love poetry.
Ignan poetry at that.
Don't forget a suitable wedding dress!
Also, who's performing the ceremony, and where, and what about the wedding banquet?
Don't forget a suitable wedding dress!
Also, who's performing the ceremony, and where, and what about the wedding banquet?
Ignan poety ... interesting ... PCs are going to need Knowledge and Linguistic checks plus a bard who is capable of coaching the PC in question on how to speak Ignan, or at least the poetry, in flawless Ignan for the big day. Also will help for understanding just what the marriage contract reads as.
"... and you shall be flogged every third day with the Lash of Heart's Flame..."
[PC]: "O_O I shall be what?"
In regards to the dress, PCs will likely have to track down flame-resistant fabric, and high-quality stuff at that, finest silks, exquisite lace, so on and so forth. We're talking about a Princess in a realm that spans a region more massive than a hundred material worlds, populated by immortals whom are so much more powerful than most material plane inhabitants and ruled by an nigh-invincible Grand Sultan whose power rivals that of the Gods themselves.
That Dress had better cost more than a whole town's annual overall income or there will be grumbling!
Lotsa good suggestions here.
To answer some questions in reverse order:
How did she get roped into this anyhow? From her standpoint she's marrying an organ-grinder's monkey (a mortal). Everybody loves funny monkeys but you don't marry them.'
Good question. The Deck of Many Things is a powerful artifact. If it says an Efreet has fallen in love with you, I guess it has to be true. Other than that, I guess the heart wants what the heart wants.
Also, who's performing the ceremony, and where, and what about the wedding banquet?
The Wedding will take place in the Fabled city of Brass, performed by an Efreet Imam. Since the Grand Sultan's will protects travelers there from the heat of the Elemental Plane of Fire (as long as he desires it), the wedding party will not need any special protections.
Since it's traditionally the bride's family's responsibility to actually prepare the wedding, I'm gonna assume that the banquet is taken care of. That said, acquiring a rare and unusual Material Plane creature for the banquet is precisely the sort of thing I'm thinking of.
...Player needs to make himself permanently Large-sized. Now. Otherwise the only thing coming out of the bedroom will be laughter from the Bride and a river of tears from the Groom. But in all seriousness, Large Size, or failing that finding some method to accquire the Fire Subtype will go a long way to making this a long, happy relationship (assuming the Alignments of both parties don't clash overmuch!)
Well, the character is a Lawful Evil Oracle of Fire. So he has some natural fire resistance, already, and can make the appropriate arrangements to not be burned by his fiancée. As to the size concerns, his bride can either shrink herself down to his size, or increase his size. Convenient for a new bride.
...potent gifts from the other three elemental planes as a sign that her new husband-to-be has the power to protect and cater to her every need. A flawless diamond from the heart of the Elemental Plane of Earth would probably be the easiest thing the PC can get a hold of, at least 10,000 gold worth. Next up would be something equally valuable from the Elemental Plane of Air, probably some of those Solid Clouds for the Efreeti Princess to use as either a bed or as ornaments in her garden, and from the Elemental Plane of Water, something rare such as a live Huge-Sized Fiendish Turtle to be served as a main course on the big day itself, or perhaps a string of Steam Mephits to serve as servants for her new household.
All excellent suggestions. I especially like the theoretical logistics involved with acquiring a bed made of solid clouds.
And she absolutley has to taste this fabled 'eyes-cream' - or 'I-scream', or whatever it's called -, since the Primes insist it's delicious. And yes, at the party. On the Elemental Plane of Fire. What does it mean 'it would melt' ? Now don't start making excuses on this, too !!!
The ice-related stuff could be fun, but if I can't envision a good solution to the problem (other than getting some kinda mythical super-no-melt-ice-cream), it may bog down the session a bit.
Of note, asbestos fibers used to be known as "salamander wool" and were thought to come from salamanders. Now, since there are actual salamanders in Pathfinder in the fantasy sense, it's only logical that they have wool, or at least asbestos hair, and the bride wants her gown made of the finest cashmere salamander wool, as this is only traditional, but those nasty salamanders object to being shorn for efreeti nuptials.
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Lotsa good suggestions here.
To answer some questions in reverse order:
How did she get roped into this anyhow? From her standpoint she's marrying an organ-grinder's monkey (a mortal). Everybody loves funny monkeys but you don't marry them.'Good question. The Deck of Many Things is a powerful artifact. If it says an Efreet has fallen in love with you, I guess it has to be true. Other than that, I guess the heart wants what the heart wants.
Plus, it's just a temporary marriage fling, I mean, how long will this mortal live? I do wonder what the Efreets know about the dastardly deck of many things playing with so many of their love lives. Oh maybe the Sultan has too many daughters and this is the way to send them off? heh.
Also, who's performing the ceremony, and where, and what about the wedding banquet?The Wedding will take place in the Fabled city of Brass, performed by an Efreet Imam. Since the Grand Sultan's will protects travelers there from the heat of the Elemental Plane of Fire (as long as he desires it), the wedding party will not need any special protections.
Since it's traditionally the bride's family's responsibility to actually prepare the wedding, I'm gonna assume that the banquet is taken care of. That said, acquiring a rare and unusual Material Plane creature for the banquet is precisely the sort of thing I'm thinking of.
Not all cultures have the bride's family be the ones responsible for the wedding.
Plus, she's slumming it with a mortal, so they expect the mortal to pay for it. ;-)
oh yeah, maybe the players has to review, negotiate, and sign a pre-nup drawn up by the Efreets. That could be some interesting rp'ing session also.
You bet there will be a pre-nup, these are lawful-Evil wish granters....Oh My God, he's married into a group of lawyers!
She wants a nice, fluffy, little bunny rabbit.
It shouldn't:
roast or be able to catch fire
die of old age
be any colour but the purest white
be an albino
smell bad
become obese when fed with delicacies
be afraid of her
...
And so on.
Good luck.
To make a bunny? programmed illusion + permanancy.
Aside from the bridezilla issues, how are you as a dm going to deal with the issue of the pc having basicly unlimited wishes now thats hes married to an efreeti?
Oh and for some ideas, I recomend watching reruns of I dream of Jeannie. That show is pretty much exactly whats going on here. Especialy the way she would get jealous at the smallest things...
Since when do strong, powerful women obey the wishes of her husband?
Since when do strong, powerful women obey the wishes of her husband?
1 word: Chocolate
Haha, best thread ever :D
Since when do strong, powerful women obey the wishes of her husband?Hey, she's basically a genie right? Just rub her the right way :P
Honestly though, who'd want wishes from an evil genie anyway, the outcome of wishes are already erratic enough...
The character is LE also, his wishes are likely to fit her preferences. Besides, she may grant them because she loves him. It depends on what excatly the card did to her.
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Since when do strong, powerful women obey the wishes of her husband?1 word: Chocolate
In that case, here's a use for a wish.
That way it'll be a wish/gift that keeps on giving.
Since when do strong, powerful women obey the wishes of her husband?
QFT
Seriously, she's not going to live on the Material Plane. She's not going to travel with an adventuring party. She's certainly not going to grant a lot of wishes. He might get one a year, on his birthday.
And we know exactly what that one will be. Every. Single. Time.
O:-)
Asking her to get him a beer and not make one snarky comment all day is arguably one of the best uses of Wish I have ever heard. Have a +3 Cookie of Awesome for your efforts.
OP, how did the wedding turn out? I can't wait to hear what happened on the big day.
What? No suggestions of arena combat against failed suitors to both prove his love/devotion and ability to provide/protect her?
What? No suggestions of arena combat against failed suitors to both prove his love/devotion and ability to provide/protect her?
That reminds of the movie about the guy who has to fight the girl's evil exboyfriends.
Problem is an Efreeti's ex-boyfriend was likely some kind of potent evil, lawful or fire-based Outsider.
Go creepy and have it be a Red Dragon of some description. *burns from the bad karma*
On the other hand, perhaps the Oracle of Fire could have to perform several potent fire-spells in a row to prove his 'devotion' to the Eternal Flame, and possibly a binding contract of loyalty to the Efreet Empire and the Grand Sultan himself.
Reward could be the transmutation of his very nature, giving him an Efreeti's lifespan for so long as he dwells upon the Elemental Plane of Fire.
OP, how did the wedding turn out? I can't wait to hear what happened on the big day.
Hasn't happened yet! I'm still crafting it, and the party has other problems they're dealing with. I'm still keeping an eye out for more ideas, if anyone has any!
This is arguably THE FUNNIEST thread I have ever read having anything to do with RPGs. Especially from HalfOrcHeavyMetal.
Looking at the summoning and lifestyle of the Efreet race, they apparently accept exotic woods and weapons (page 50 of Adventure Path:"The End of Eternity" (22) ) as currency for their summoning uses.
Perhaps the PC could track down and acquire a year's worth of rare woods such as Darkwood, capture a Dryad, Tree and All, and prepare her tree to survive the oppressive head of the Elemental Plane of Fire to be his new bride's gardener, have crafted for her a beautiful Falchion, preferably with a Ring of Greater Frost Resistance built into the pommel and encrusted with thousands of rubies in an elegant pattern reminiscent of leaping flames or a coiling Red Dragon on the sides of the blade.
In regards to the wood, it's got to be seasoned properly, and the PC might even go the extra mile to actually scent the wood with jasmine or other incense/herbs/concoctions so as to generate truly enchanting smells when burnt.
OP, how did the wedding turn out? I can't wait to hear what happened on the big day.Hasn't happened yet! I'm still crafting it, and the party has other problems they're dealing with. I'm still keeping an eye out for more ideas, if anyone has any!
If the wedding hasn't happened yet then perhaps the brides father should start asking some pointed questions as to why.
Also, perhaps the PC already has a girl who's interested in him (whether he knows it or not), or his fiancé has a rival who now starts coming on to the PC in order to mess with her. Possibly a rival of the bride's family decides to disrupt the wedding, either offering one of its own daughters in marriage or charming some other efreet (or succubus, or celestial) woman into loving the PC.
You could easily turn the PC's life into a hilarious (and very scary) harem anime. :D
Oh GOD! Had a mental image of 'Oh My Goddess' in DND style .... *cringes at the thought of the destruction a Efreeti, a Marid, a Succubi and a Astral Deva would cause to the Fire Oracle's house if they were fighting over him.*
The wedding dress should be spun from the silk of like, phase spiders or something ridiculous.
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This is in the City of Brass. Why not make them serve a Brass Dragon for the banquet? The Efreet don't care that the Dragon is good, but I bet the players will.
No, the player in question has a LE character, so it really wouldn't be from a alignment standpoint. From any other standpoint though...
Heh, or have an obnoxious rival attempting to garner her affections, like in one of those 80s movies. Of course, said rival finds out their emotions are because of the Deck O Many things, and trots out this fact to the dismay of everyone involved. Our hero, who now loves his bride-to-be, must now convince her that he truly loves her, no matter how obnoxious and demanding she is. The rival loses, of course, and suffers a karmic fate of some kind. The end.
Or the OTHER princess hate the suitor...but are secretly jealous. What kind of amazing qualities must this human have to make their sister fall in love with him? Cat fights ensue.