The Green Barrow

[Richard A. Hunt]

And I say that the tree that falls in the forest makes no sound if there is no one there to hear it. By the definition of sound, there must be a receptor and in the case of these locations, player characters are the receptors. Without them or residents what's the point of making a flat building devoid of interesting qualities?

As for situations, we were asked to create situations in the form of an encounter and what is an encounter if not a scenario, a situation or whatever this week's term for such things are?

[Richard A. Hunt]

Nicolas Quimby wrote:

Signed. You can't pretend that locations aren't interesting on their own. Your location kicks ass, hags or no hags.

Thank you, but I think that's the map talking. :)

Nicolas Quimby wrote:

What people are saying is that your entry spends too much time spotlighting your NPC and therefor lacks focus. I'm counting 500+ words before you even mention the Barrow; tighter/briefer intro writing could have cut that in half, without even losing any information.

Well and here is your clue as to what happened there:

LocationName {Such as "Blood Monkey Castle"} {this also should be the title of your entry!}
{Describe your location here. Is it a castle? A forest? A sewer? Why is it here? Who lives here? What role does it serve?}

Those lines spoke to me. I had to give the place a role (how very 4E) and in order to do that I needed residents with motives. As far as I knew I answered the questions above with flying colors. I was absolutely stunned and mystified at the reception. I really did feel as though I'd done absolutely everything I'd been asked to do. But then that's the problem isn't it? We were indeed asked to bake a cake with 37 secret herbs and spices.

Also, what you don't know is that the writing style for this entry is as choppy as it is because I already had to reduce it by about 600 words. Heck, I'd started writing the bloody adventure and had to cut it near to the bone. Again, asked to do to many things with a tiny word count.

What I should have done was an abandoned gazebo in the middle of the swamp with a shogglagung slurp, slurp, slurping, but then I felt I had to show that I could do more work with material other than my own, which was part of the exercise too.

EDIT:
Cakes don't taste very nice with herbs and spices, do they precious? No, not very nice at all.

[Richard A. Hunt]

On the Map: So, bring your A game, but don't bring your A game oh and by the way bring your A game, but don't bring your A game. Do you have your A game?

So I brought my A game and get a big fat kick to the noggin for it. It just so happens that I'm also a pretty fair cartographer too. Sue me.

Anywayz the map was done in Campaign Cartographer 3. It actually took me less time than putting the square chicken in the coop, hacking down to 1,200 words.

[Charles Evans 25]

Richard A. Hunt wrote:

...What I should have done was an abandoned gazebo in the middle of the swamp with a shogglagung slurp, slurp, slurping, but then I felt I had to show that I could do more work with material other than my own, which was part of the exercise too.

[paraphrased old gamer joke] Umm, aren't gazebos epic CR menaces? [/paraphrased old gamer joke]

[Richard A. Hunt]

Charles Evans 25 wrote:

[paraphrased old gamer joke] Umm, aren't gazebos epic CR menaces? [/paraphrased old gamer joke]

Only when holding a shotgun wedding in one with a shogglagung as the best man and splorudra as the maid of honor. ;)

[Charles Evans 25]

<insert paizo chatroom :rofl: emoticon here>
:D
Alas it is waaaay past my bedtime here in the UK. I hope to be back tomorrow to see the rest of your comments and to discover who made it to Round 5.

[Nicolas Quimby]

Richard A. Hunt wrote:

On the Map: So, bring your A game, but don't bring your A game oh and by the way bring your A game, but don't bring your A game. Do you have your A game?

So I brought my A game and get a big fat kick to the noggin for it. It just so happens that I'm also a pretty fair cartographer too. Sue me.

The rules were very, very clear that artistic merit did not matter, and that clarity did. There is nothing complicated or ambiguous about that.

I'm rooting for you, man, and I know this is an ordeal, but you're coming across as very scornful of criticism. Keep in mind that you've still got a shot at advancing; hell, even making top 8 might make you a candidate for freelance work. Personally, I think you stand out as this years "awesome screwball designer", and that's usually the guy who sticks in the readers' memories. Right now some of the judges are looking at you and thinking "Is this the guy I want to work with on a major project?"

[Ziv Wities]

Richard, you got my vote with this one :) While I agree with the general opinion that you overfocused on the NPCs, I enjoyed the attention to plot and character, and combined with all the fun, excellent ideas you've been churning out so far in the contest, I think your adventure proposal would definitely be something to look forward to. Keeping my fingers crossed for you...

If you do make it through, I hope you do take the criticism from this round to heart - you've shown you've got awesome ideas; combine that with A) the polished, professional presentation that's at the heart of the Superstar contest, and B) attention to how you set players in an active role in the middle of awesome ideas, instead of mere observers/explorers, and I think you'll have a real winner on your hands.

All the best!

[Richard A. Hunt]

Nicolas Quimby wrote:

The rules were very, very clear that artistic merit did not matter, and that clarity did. There is nothing complicated or ambiguous about that.

I didn't really say anything about artistic merit and I'm not really looking to change the subject to that.

What I am indicating is that I did my very best work (i.e. my "A game") on the map (which people either liked or hated) and describing what role other posts regarding cartography *not in the contest rules* played in deciding how to approach the my map. Apparently my "A game" is waaay different from the next guy's. :)

Nicolas Quimby wrote:

...but you're coming across as very scornful of criticism. Keep in mind that you've still got a shot at advancing; hell, even making top 8 might make you a candidate for freelance work. Personally, I think you stand out as this years "awesome screwball designer", and that's usually the guy who sticks in the readers' memories. Right now some of the judges are looking at you and thinking "Is this the guy I want to work with on a major project?"

Nah. In the absence of prior humorous commentary sure, okay. Nope, no scorn, just clarifying whaaahappend. :)

[Richard A. Hunt]

Nicolas Quimby wrote:

... making top 8 might make you a candidate for freelance work. Personally, I think you stand out as this years "awesome screwball designer", and that's usually the guy who sticks in the readers' memories.

I just wanted to thank you for the extreme kind words, in a separate dollop. Sincerely, I'd dearly love to be this years screwball designer. I've read in at least three places folks comparing me to Clinton Boomer. I take that as a high complement indeed, as he is a very talented guy. I guess my designs are similarly offbeat. :)

Also, I've not written for RPGs since Dragon and designing for Paizo or freelancing for other companies would be a truly honorable experience. :)

[Richard A. Hunt]

Standback wrote:

Richard, you got my vote with this one :) While I agree with the general opinion that you overfocused on the NPCs, I enjoyed the attention to plot and character, and combined with all the fun, excellent ideas you've been churning out so far in the contest, I think your adventure proposal would definitely be something to look forward to. Keeping my fingers crossed for you...

If you do make it through, I hope you do take the criticism from this round to heart - you've shown you've got awesome ideas; combine that with A) the polished, professional presentation that's at the heart of the Superstar contest, and B) attention to how you set players in an active role in the middle of awesome ideas, instead of mere observers/explorers, and I think you'll have a real winner on your hands.

All the best!

In retro, I implied an entire adventure and didn't really intend to. Lesson learned. :)

And thank you so very, very much! I'm extremely grateful to everyone who voted for me in any round. :)

[Lief Clennon]

Richard A. Hunt wrote:

On Sexual Content: I was quite stunned by vociferous objections to the so-called sexual content in my entry

I'm gonna chime in to agree on this. Golarion is not PG-13; there is no shortage of examples, including published adventures.

[Neil Spicer]

Lief Clennon wrote:

Richard A. Hunt wrote:

On Sexual Content: I was quite stunned by vociferous objections to the so-called sexual content in my entry

I'm gonna chime in to agree on this. Golarion is not PG-13; there is no shortage of examples, including published adventures.

I'll take a stab at helping explain such objections. And it's not to agree or disagree about whether it's appropriate or not to include such content in an adventure module. Paizo has a gritty theme that they've successfully employed for years now. So it's really their call...

Instead, let's talk about it in the context of the actual contest. Given that Paizo catches flak from customers when they do R-rated or even PG-13 material, I'd say you do yourself no favors by trying to duplicate it in your submissions for the contest. Because, as much as disgruntled customers will let Paizo know they don't appreciate that kind of content (and 'vote' with their wallets by not buying it), so too will some of the actual voters in the RPG Superstar contest go out of their way to avoid "rewarding" that kind of material by voting for you.

Thus, if you want to maximize your appeal to the voting public in the actual RPG Superstar contest (and I suspect everyone does)...and help yourself advance...and get that shot at the brass ring, you'd be wise to restrain yourself and your subject matter so that it appeals to the greater whole of the voting community. Then, maybe after you've won the contest or received opportunities as a Top 4 or Top 8 finisher to freelance on something, that's when you can more safely explore such content. Even then, you've still got to get it past Paizo's editors.

And, no...don't be anticipating any R-rated material from me anytime soon. PG-13, maybe. But, that's really just a style thing stemming from my own personal standard that I set for myself long, long ago. If I make references to something sexual (or even gore-related), I'll make an attempt to characterize it in the least polarizing way possible.

But that's just my two-cents,
--Neil

[Jim Groves]

Richard,

One good turn deserves another-

I like your bold ideas. A couple years ago I was not a big fan of "gonzo" however one chooses to define it. I haven't really changed my mind on that, but I now differentiate being bold and innovative versus being gratituitous.

I find myself admiring bold and innovative ideas. You shown that consistantly. My tip of the hat to you.

[Richard A. Hunt]

Jim Groves wrote:

My tip of the hat to you.

Hey, thanks, Jim! And for what it's worth I'd design along side ya anytime! Bringing new and interesting to the table in each round is exactly what I've been striving for too. :)

[Alex Martin]

Richard

I don't suppose it's much comfort, but I am bummed for you and shocked by the results. I thought the Green Barrow an excellent location, and the idea was well-designed. I'm sorry to see others didn't think that way in the final results. Best of luck with future endeavors.

[Jim Groves]

You were a worthy competitor Richard. I was also kinda surprised, along with Alex. Best of luck, and I hope you keep trying.. whether with Paizo, KQ, Open Design, or wherever.

Edit: Another thing I admired was your willingness to let yourself be known as a person. I salute you for that.

[d20pfsrd.com]

Yeah Richard you know I was pullin for you.

I'd say Top 8's not too shabby though!

[Mike Welham]

Richard, sorry you didn't make it into the Top 4. I was pulling for you. Still, I believe you're going to have a wealth of opportunities from your performance in this contest, and I look forward to seeing your name in a Paizo product.

[Charles Evans 25]

Commiserations Richard. Take heart that Top 8 contestants have occasionally been offered work before, by Paizo - and if you've been published in Dragon as I think you mentioned, you've already demonstrated that you can write articles for publications.

[roguerouge]

Richard A. Hunt wrote:

I take my writing cues from the product and my entry pushes no envelopes or hot buttons that haven't already been pushed - very far from it. Objections noted, however, conscientious objectors may want to do a little more reading and better get to know the game you're playing before casting stones.

Whatever, dude. I know the game and their product just fine. You'll note that I cited the two other modules that used these themes. Just because it's in the Bestiary doesn't mean I have to agree that an entire adventure centered on male rape is a good idea. But if you want to believe that it's because I don't know the game, that's your right.

I doubt you lost more than my vote on that issue. Only Charles even noted that I had made that point at all. So I also doubt that I'm the reason you ended up in the bottom half. But if you wish to blame me for it, and not the other issues raised by other voters, go right ahead.

Edit: The map, as I mentioned, is pretty awesome.

Edit 2: And, for the record, I get anonymous criticism every four months from college students, some of whom bear grudges for their own bad performance. It's read by my employers and, thanks to the ratemyprofessor and livejournal, the general public. (My current girlfriend looked up my evaluations on that site before our first date, in fact.) Heck, I had a facebook group devoted to my attire for a short while. You're going to need a thicker skin when it comes to criticism. Personally, what works for me is to have two drinks and then have someone read it to you in a rich, sultry voice.

[Richard A. Hunt]

Just back from a school concert where I watched my youngest daughter sing. All is right with the world. No worries. :) Thanks for your kind commiserations, gentlemen, but rest assured I'm very happy with having been myself and with my performance. I'm going to go finish my proposal now. :)

[Richard A. Hunt]

roguerouge wrote:

... if you wish to blame me for it, and not the other issues raised by other voters, go right ahead.

Nah, that'd be just as silly.

roguerouge wrote:

Edit: The map, as I mentioned, is pretty awesome.

Thanks. :)

[roguerouge]

I'd be shocked if one in ten people read past the judges comments on these things, actually.

[Richard A. Hunt]

roguerouge wrote:

I'd be shocked if one in ten people read past the judges comments on these things, actually.

No worries, man. I seriously doubt you did any harm anyway. I was just trying to express my own shock because I felt I was using what was already in the book. It never even occurred to me that anyone might object. Anyway I'm not worrying about it nor should you. :)

[Charles Evans 25]

Richard A. Hunt wrote:

Just back from a school concert where I watched my youngest daughter sing. All is right with the world. No worries. :) Thanks for your kind commiserations, gentlemen, but rest assured I'm very happy with having been myself and with my performance. I'm going to go finish my proposal now. :)

Oooh, I'll keep an eye out for that then. I've already promised Matthew Morris I'll give his proposal a look over if he posts it, and I could do the same for you...

[Nicolas Quimby]

The objections to the sexuality here surprised me to. Those elements, while central to the villain's motivation, still looked relatively easy to downplay or push into the background. That said, you really can't expect rape not to be a hot-button issue, so this sort of clash of opinion is probably inevitable.

I'm also glad to see you're still writing. :)
I've been trying to focus on non-D&D projects recently, but I should really look into the open calls myself.

[Richard A. Hunt]

Charles Evans 25 wrote:

Richard A. Hunt wrote:

Just back from a school concert where I watched my youngest daughter sing. All is right with the world. No worries. :) Thanks for your kind commiserations, gentlemen, but rest assured I'm very happy with having been myself and with my performance. I'm going to go finish my proposal now. :)

Oooh, I'll keep an eye out for that then. I've already promised Matthew Morris I'll give his proposal a look over if he posts it, and I could do the same for you...

I appreciate it but I don't wanna take away from the Top 4. This is their time and mine is over (at least as far as the contest is concerned). I wouldn't mind sending it to you for a read via email or something less public though. I plan to submit it through the current open call and see what happens. I think it's that good! :)

[Alex Martin]

I don't want to beat the dead horse on this issue and re-start a discussion in this thread, but I have to concur with several others that the hags' motivations concerning capturing a male was a non-issue in my decision. I may have had concerns about the amount of detail, but not the story itself. Honestly, as you noted, I don't see how this is an issue given the source worls material.

Anyhow, good luck with your proposal efforts.

[Richard A. Hunt]

Alex Martin wrote:

I don't want to beat the dead horse on this issue and re-start a discussion in this thread, but I have to concur with several others that the hags' motivations concerning capturing a male was a non-issue in my decision. I may have had concerns about the amount of detail, but not the story itself. Honestly, as you noted, I don't see how this is an issue given the source worls material.

Anyhow, good luck with your proposal efforts.

I agree entirely. I sorta said as much to rougerogue yesterday because he sounded sort of upset with me, which wasn't really my intention. I was more or less trying expressing my own surprise is all. :)

[Matt Goodall]

Hey Richard, I just looked you up on PenandPaper. Impressive to get into the printed Dragon magazine, I’m sure I have read the ‘Wow your players’ article. Congratulations on your work in the competition, I am certain that it was exceptionally close in the 4th round. I suspect that you (like myself) are a lifetime gamer. I hope to be playing well into my own ‘venerable age bracket’. Keep on bringing your personal perspective to gaming. You’ve already grabbed the attention of judges/publishers, I’m sure you will grab it again, or you might just find that they grab you for a project.

[Richard A. Hunt]

Matt Goodall wrote:

Hey Richard, I just looked you up on PenandPaper. Impressive to get into the printed Dragon magazine, I’m sure I have read the ‘Wow your players’ article. Congratulations on your work in the competition, I am certain that it was exceptionally close in the 4th round. I suspect that you (like myself) are a lifetime gamer. I hope to be playing well into my own ‘venerable age bracket’. Keep on bringing your personal perspective to gaming. You’ve already grabbed the attention of judges/publishers, I’m sure you will grab it again, or you might just find that they grab you for a project.

Hey Matt, thanks! Yeah I've been at it for a while now. Looks like we've played some of the same games, Shadowrun and Battletech in particular. Congratulations on winning the contest! I sincerely wish you the very, very best of luck in producing Cult of the Ebon Destroyers. I hope most of all you enjoy the experience a bunch!

Cheers!
Rich

[Nicolas Quimby]

I just wanted to repeat that I really did like the Barrow (not just for the map, which was gorgeous, but for the seriously cool and quintessentially high-fantasy image which you evoked). Reading it gives me the same impression that I got when I first saw the sploruda: "Holy crap, there's a lot going on here and I don't understand why, but I don't care it's awesome".

Seeing what you did to tighten up the sploruda makes me really curious as to what it would look like if you took the same unrushed care to explain yourself here, taking it room by room and encounter by encounter to show us what it all means and why its all there. Not that I need that to appreciate the creativity here. I play D&D because I want to go to places like this.

(Ideally to kill their inhabitants, take their stuff, and then set off for more places like this. That's how players show their love. :))

[Richard A. Hunt]

Nicolas Quimby wrote:

I just wanted to repeat that I really did like the Barrow (not just for the map, which was gorgeous, but for the seriously cool and quintessentially high-fantasy image which you evoked). Reading it gives me the same impression that I got when I first saw the sploruda: "Holy crap, there's a lot going on here and I don't understand why, but I don't care it's awesome".

Seeing what you did to tighten up the sploruda makes me really curious as to what it would look like if you took the same unrushed care to explain yourself here, taking it room by room and encounter by encounter to show us what it all means and why its all there. Not that I need that to appreciate the creativity here. I play D&D because I want to go to places like this.

(Ideally to kill their inhabitants, take their stuff, and then set off for more places like this. That's how players show their love. :))

Thanks! You've paid me the highest praise possible for an adventure idea. I want the fantastic or the deal's off for me. Fighting the town guard or a bunch of rats (there are way too many adventures centering around rats or wererats) is just dull to me. I want an interesting mix of monsters, a fantastic locale, a bizarre villain and twists and turns. Give me fantasy or give me death. :)