The Haiku Game


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His dismemberment
Fell into the raging sea
Made Aphrodite

Grand Lodge

Made Aphrodite
Botticelli's wrong in that
there was no seashell.


There was no seashell
Just the wriggling oyster flesh
I won't eat seafood

Dark Archive

I won't eat seafood
Hobbs is really just too gross.
Check my avatar.


Check my avatar:
hair, bazongas, eyes, waist, legs...
the goddess of LURVE

Liberty's Edge

The godess of lurve...
do you have the coupon for
the daytime hooker?


The daytime hooker
Heads to the army barracks.
Boys, into the breach!


Boys, into the breach
that sounds wrong in somany ways
bow chicka bow wow.


Bow chicka bow wow
That used to be porn music
Now, only silence.

Liberty's Edge

Now only silence
That is the best kind of porn
My boss will not hear.


My boss will not hear
the soft crack of the gunshot
pointed to your head.

Liberty's Edge

Pointed to your head
A hammer at point blank range.
It's not the hammer.


It's not the hammer
"The hammer is my penis"
Says Captain Hammer

Liberty's Edge

Says Captain hammer
he is the one who should die
Why was penny killed?

Liberty's Edge

Why was Penny killed?
The Bloop flew into a rage
Danger, Robinsons!

Liberty's Edge

Danger, Robinsons!
You don't look like a wilbur.
More...Cornelius.

Liberty's Edge

More Cor-nee-lee-ooos
Leeloo Dallas Multi pass
I have no fy-yah!


I have no fy-yah!
Ruby Rhod final broadcast?
O wait theres Milla

Liberty's Edge

O wait theres Mil-a
It's actually just Mila
Those stupid hyphens.

Scarab Sages

"Those stupid hyphens,"
all the real letters complain.
"They're taking our jobs!"

Liberty's Edge

They're taking our jobs
The orcs just do not simply
get hired in mordor.


get hired in mordor
stuff that was said on Game of Thrones
gets turned into memes.

Liberty's Edge

Get tired in Mordor
Bad air and rocky landscapes
Lets jog somewhere else!


idiot, it was get hired in mordor.

Liberty's Edge

Let's jog somewhere else!
Away from the samurai and
the sneaky ninjas

Shadow Lodge

the sneaky ninjas
dressed in black, nowhere to go
playing forum games

Scarab Sages

playing forum games
we ought to be able to
earn money this way


Earn money this way
they said. Turns out stapling yolks
to walls is no fun.

Liberty's Edge

To welsh it's no fun
But they discovered something
Torchwood Institute


To walls is no fun
Said the apes and threw feces
To neighborhood children

Liberty's Edge

Neighborhood children
complain about adding the
To-Unnecessary.


To: Unnecessary,
We don't need you around here.
Go find someplace else.

Liberty's Edge

Go find someplace else
We're doing important stuff.
Back to the meeting.

Scarab Sages

"Back to the meeting?
Showing profound disrespect!"
Our pointy-haired boss

Liberty's Edge

Our pointy haired boss
Increases our work while he's
Cutting all our staff.

Liberty's Edge

Cutting all our staff
Is that code for something else?
It sounds quite painful!

Liberty's Edge

It sounds quite painful.
But hobbs could confirm this news.
Remember that, man?

Scarab Sages

Remember "that man"?
Aristocrats hate his dimes
Franklin Roosevelt


Franklin Roosevelt
President during the war
Commander in Chief

Liberty's Edge

Commander in Chief
Some say that he thinks he's king
GunSnatcher the fourth.


Gun Snatcher the fourth
Not as great as his father
Great Cannonballer

Liberty's Edge

Great Cannonballer
Oh will you please take my
humble sacrifice?

Liberty's Edge

Humble Sacrifice
Not much meat on these old bones
I'm mostly gristle

Liberty's Edge

I'm mostly gristle
But that's okay because their
god wants to lose weight.


god wants to lose weight
drinking beer and eating cheese
He's mysterious

Shadow Lodge

He's mysterious
they say he carved it himself
from a bigger spoon


From a bigger spoon
Verily, the clam chowder
Sprang forth and burned me

Scarab Sages

Sprang forth and burned me
To think, The Haiku Game died
What insult is this???

Liberty's Edge

What insult is this?
"Your mother was a hamster..."
I've heard it somewhere


I've heard it somewhere
Back in the 1990's
Was it Sugar Ray?

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