First of all, even leaving out the general sin-fallen angel stuff from the end, you went over Round 3 word-count, so I assume this is not an attempt to represent the creature as a Superstar entry.
Nope. I just wanted to stat it up. When I saw the round three rules, I was pretty sure this - as I envisioned it - wouldn't make it in under that word count.
Your BAB listed (+9) does not correspond to Hit Dice (8d10). Whilst your CMB/CMD seem to be based off the correct value of +8, your melee attack line seems to be based off the listed value of +9.
I played with it at both 8 and 9 HD at some point, looks like I missed fixing some stats.
The correct hit point total for 8d10+24 should be 68 hp.
And now I feel like an idiot. :) I can only guess that I was thinking about the number of HD instead of the die type itself when I did the math.
You appear to have deviated from the usual good Reflex and Will saves to give good Fortitude and Reflex instead, although the Outsider information in the Bestiary does indicate there is some leeway as to which saves are good.
Yup. I even noticed that the outsider type lists Reflex and Will, but in the monster creation section they say "any two." I gave it a better Fortitude save and immunity to poison to reflect a hearty constitution, since it eats a lot of things that could normally be bad.
You appear to have used 8+Int skill points instead of the 6+Int skill points recommended by the bestiary.
The initiative value given (+6) does not correspond to the Dex modifier of +2.
It started with Improved Initiative and I took that out. Clearly I missed that. Not sure how I got the 72 skill points though. That's a big mistake.
With regard to the 'Create Ghoul' ability the closest corresponding ability I can find is that for a Shadow or Wight, which takes 1d4 rounds, and is not 'immediate'. The immediate poses questions of does the killed creature instantly turn around and start attacking former comrades (if any) in the same round? If so, does it get a move and standard action?
I based this on the nabasu's Death-Stealing Gaze, which creates instant ghouls. I would have it act on its next initiative. It would probably start its action prone, as it would collapse when it died.
Ravenous Hunger - so if a group of adventurers are trying to fight a Nakuru in a restaurant, anyone who succombs to the Ravenous Hunger needs to attempt another save just to eat any other food available in prefence over people?
If a creature is closer than other food, then yes. My goal with the power was that the victims can no longer behave rationally, unless they make that additional Will save. But I see your point. I think maybe I should change it to be the first visible source of food, and then a creature if there is no other visible source of food. That might help get the CR down a little too.
That seems to me more than just 'ravenous hunger'. Furthermore, if a fight is going on out in the open, where PCs are riding horses, apparently if used against the mounts this ability can turn those horses into raging carnivores? The ability name seems a misnomer to me, in other words.
I'll fiddle around with some other names. Maybe Insane Hunger or Irrational Hunger?
Starvation Aura - the wording of this confuses me about how long this lasts. One possible way to read it suggests to me that once a character has encountered this aura once, the effects never leave that character, and that he/she has to make a save against it every day, whether it's suppressed or not.
Ah, I see where it's unclear. It's meant that as long as you're in the aura you're subject to the effect. But I wanted to make sure people couldn't just walk out and come back in to get a new save. But if they encounter the same nakuru's aura a day later they would get a new save.
In hindsight, I should have just made the fatigue last until they'd been out of the aura for a set duration, and then give them a new save if they re-entered after that time.
Comparing this to the half-fiend minotaur (CR 6) from the bestiary, the Nakuru seems approximately at the same level (weaker attacks, but better AC, DR, and hit points) except for the Nakuru's Ravenous Hunger ability and the Starvation Aura. The former removes an opponent as a threat for 1d6 rounds if they fail a save (and possibly forces them to attack comrades) and with the unclear wording the Starvation Aura looks as if it might doom a PC to be fatigued for the rest of their life.
It's possible this should have been CR 7 or higher.
I almost made it CR 7, but I wasn't quite sure. I originally envisioned it as CR 8 or 9 (still in the bottom half of the CR range as the round 2 rules suggested), but I thought I'd try for CR 6. Looks like I should have gone for CR 7.
Thank-you for posting it, however.
Thank you for your thorough comments! I'm embarrassed by some of those pretty obvious mistakes. I should have done a final math check before I posted it. And I sure will in the future when I post monsters.
Thanks again, Charles!
You're a brave man to have gone ahead and posted a stat block you didn't need to do... :)
The way I see it, if I thought my monster was good enough for round two, it's good enough to stat up. And people on the boards are a friendly and knowledgeable group, so I know they'll have useful things to say. Like how I should have done a last math check before I posted. :)
My new revision is almost done. I just need to decide if I want to make the hunger attack more or less viscous. My choices right now are:
"Attempts to eat visible food, or creatures if no food is visible."
or go the full cannibal route with:
"Attempts to eat the nearest living creature."
For the latter option, I'd change it to 1d4 rounds and note that the affected creature attempts to grapple and bite. The victim wants to eat right now, not after the meal is killed. (So no fighter attacking his party wizard with swords to cut up the meal first.)
... I just need to decide if I want to make the hunger attack more or less viscous.
I'm all for a viscous hunger attack.
Perhaps it would involve jam or candy apples :)
*grin*
Silliness aside, I'd make it non-vicious. It's more interesting, in my mind, having the PCs role-playing scrambling for food than yet another way to cause a PvP showdown.
Both ways take 'em out of the combat, but one will feel less like a railroading to the PCs.
"You see tracks."
"I bet they're railroad tracks."
Silliness aside, I'd make it non-vicious. It's more interesting, in my mind, having the PCs role-playing scrambling for food than yet another way to cause a PvP showdown.
Both ways take 'em out of the combat, but one will feel less like a railroading to the PCs.
Good point. I think the less vicious version probably makes more sense for the nakuru too, since its purpose is gluttony, not cannibalism. :)
Here's the new version. Thanks for all the helpful comments!
Nakuru (Sin-Fallen Angel of Gluttony) CR 7
XP 3,200
AL NE Medium outsider (evil, extraplanar, sin-fallen angel)
Init +2; Senses darkvision 60 ft., low-light vision, scent; Perception +11
Aura starvation aura (30 ft. radius, DC 17)
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Defense
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AC 18, touch 12, flat-footed 16 (+2 Dex, +6 natural)
hp 68 (8d10+24)
Fort +9, Ref +8, Will +5
Defensive Abilities DR 5/good; Immune paralysis, poison; Resist acid 10, cold 10; SR 17
Weaknesses vulnerability to good
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Offense
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Speed 30 ft., fly 60 ft. (good)
Melee 1 bite +12 (1d8+3 plus irrational hunger and grab) and 2 claws +11 (1d6+3 plus irrational hunger)
Special Attacks create ghoul, ravenous hunger (Will, DC 17, some targets receive +4 to save), swallow whole (2d4 bludgeoning damage, AC 13, 6 hp)
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Statistics
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Str 17, Dex 14, Con 17, Int 12, Wis 12, Cha 16
Base Atk +8; CMB +11; CMD 23
Feats Flyby Attack, Iron Will, Vital Strike, Weapon Focus (bite)
Skills Bluff +21, Diplomacy +13, Fly +15, Knowledge (planes) +10, Knowledge (religion) +10, Perception +11, Sense Motive +11, Stealth +10, Survival +9; Racial Modifiers +8 Bluff
Languages Celestial, Common, Infernal; truespeech
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Ecology
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Environment any or any (evil Outer Planes)
Organization solitary or with 1-6 ghouls and ghasts
Treasure incidental (from victims)
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Special Abilities
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Create Ghoul (Su) Humanoids killed by a nakuru's claws or bite rise immediately as ghouls under its command. Humanoids of 4 Hit Dice or more rise as ghasts. A nakuru can control 4 Hit Dice of undead it creates for each hit die it possesses. Additional undead created are free-willed and often become snacks for the nakuru. Creatures swallowed by the nakuru are usually too broken to rise as undead.
Grab (Ex) A nakuru may attempt grab any creature its size or smaller.
Gluttonous Hunger (Su) Creatures struck by the nakuru must succeed on a Will save (DC 17) or suffer uncontrollable hunger for 1d4 rounds. The hunger affects any creature capable of eating, although those that do not require food to survive receive a +4 racial bonus on the save. Those who fail the save spend the duration of the effect attempting to consume any visible source of food. If a living creature - other than a nakuru - is the only visible food, then the victim attempts to grapple and eat it. The victim may use a standard action each round to attempt another Will save to resist this urge. A successful save allows the creature to use the rest of its actions that round to acquire a different source of food, such as from a nearby cupboard or rations in a backpack. Affected creatures still defend themselves if attacked and the hunger ends if the nakuru attacks the victim. This is a mind-affecting effect. The save DC is Charisma-based.
Starvation Aura (Su) Living creatures within 30 feet of the nakuru must succeed on a Fortitude save (DC 17) or become fatigued as if starving. The fatigue lasts for 10 minutes after leaving the nakuru's aura. An opponent that succeeds on the saving throw is immune to that nakuru's aura for 24 hours. Creatures that do not need to eat are immune to this effect. The save DC is Charisma-based.
Swallow Whole (Su) A nakuru's body stretches, allowing it to swallow a single creature its size or smaller it has grabbed. The nakuru regenerates one hit point for every point of damage its stomach inflicts on the swallowed creature, with injuries to the nakuru's stomach healing first. The nakuru can disgorge a swallowed creature as a move action. Creatures who die inside the nakuru are ejected in this manner to make room for a new victim. Creatures who break the grapple with the nakuru are also ejected, without costing the nakuru an action. The nakuru may take an attack of opportunity to bite creatures as they fly from its mouth.
Nakuru, sin-fallen angels of gluttony, are floating, emaciated humanoids with brittle, gnawed stumps where a true angel’s wings should be. Their long arms end in bony claws that are almost as sharp as their needle-like teeth. Nakuru are often accompanied by ghouls and ghasts they create and command.
Some nakuru fell while on the Material Plane and stayed. Others are trapped on evil outer planes, where they seek access to the material plane and amuse themselves by making weaker creatures devour each other. Their eagerness to get to the Material Plane makes nakuru popular with summoners, as nakuru charge less for their services and their preferred payment - a decadent feast held in their honor – is often less odious than payments demanded by other evil outsiders. Unfortunately, the nakuru will sometimes use the guests of such a feast to create their ghoulish entourage.
Nakuru try to encourage gluttony through persuasion and guile, but sin fallen lack the patience of other corrupting fiends and occasionally inflict their powers on unwilling victims. Tales of taverns falling prey to a hungry stranger or despots turning to cannibalism are often the legacies of an impulsive angel of gluttony.
As outsiders, nakuru do not require food to survive, but they obviously enjoy it.
Sin Fallen Angels
The sin-fallen are fallen angels who, during their descent, become obsessed with base desires and allow those desires to consume them. At the end of the angel's fall, a single sin marks it more deeply than others, and as the last of the angel's grace sloughs away the sin remains and births something new.
Sin-Fallen Angel Subtype: Sin-fallen angels were once angels, but have lost most of the features of their old subtype. They are evil outsiders, who wander the evil-aligned outer planes and the Material Plane. Sin-fallen angels possesses the following traits (unless otherwise noted in a creature's entry).
* Darkvision 60 feet and low-light vision.
* Damage reduction 5/good.
* Resistance 10 to two types of energy.
* Vulnerability to good.
* Truespeech (Su) Sin-fallen angels can speak with any creature that has a language, as though using a tongues spell (caster level equal to angel's Hit Dice). This ability is always active.
* A sin-fallen angel's natural weapons, as well as any weapons it wields, are evil for the purpose of resolving damage reduction.