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Caltrop Golem
Hmmm, I'm torn on this one. Caltrops are cool, and so are golems. Combining them together can't be bad. Plus it's halfling sized instead of towering, which is just refreshing. On the other hand I'm not sure how effective it is as a guardian given the expense of creation. It seems more like a monster that hassles you than actually prevents you from stealing what it's guarding--the RPG equivalent of the paint bomb in the bag of money you steal during a bank robbery. It seems like maybe it should be more along the lines of some sort of aninated object with some swarm characteristics or something. It's a cool and original idea, I'm just concerned about the CR issues of making it a true golem for what it does.
I really, really like that this is a small golem. And this is another one where the idea is a little obvious, but I can't think of an instance where it's been done before... so good on ya! I don't know if I'd make this a true golem with all the associated resistances, but as far as neat, low-level constructs go, this feels like a nice fit.
Initial Impression: Spikey midget golem comes to town. Let's check it out... Concept (name, overall design choices, design niche, playability/usability, challenge): B-
Execution (quality of writing, hook, theme, organization, use of proper format, world neutral, quality of mandatory content—description, summary of powers): B-
Tilt (did it grab me, do I want to use one in an adventure?): B-
Overall: B-
Recommendation: I DO NOT recommend this creature advance.
Thank you for the feedback judges. To my fellow board poster I say this. I‘m a bit of a lurker on message boards, always have been. At this time I quote former mayor of Bluffington, Robert “Bob” White, when I say “Don’t be a sucker! Vote for me.” In addition I make the following campaign promises. Caltop Golem hugs for some, miniature Andoren Flags for others. Look for Caltrop Golem where ever fine constructs are sold!
I had to support my fellow Jason by reading your entry first! Plus: Small-sized golem, caltrops are cool, and I rather like the "fluid" aspect, rather like a crawling swarm of caltrops seething all over and around things rather than "hey, it's a solid clunky thing made of a bunch of caltrops welded together Minus: It's a fun idea but doesn't soak the imagination with gasoline and light it on fire. Clark's right that blowing words on construct traits was probably a bad investment of word count. Some more words spent flavor texting the monster would've been a good add - I thought you spent too much time on abilities and not enough on "Why does this creature exist?" Overall: A decent effort, but I don't know if it's Superstar.
I actually kinda like this concept. Perhaps constrained by the word limit and could have focused a bit more on the description instead of building on the construct concept (as most of us know by default). I'd eventually love to see this statted and pictured as I think it has the potential there to be a quite a pain in the ass on unsuspecting adventurers ... Imagine if something were poured on this golem that could do some sort of damage on contact ... and some tank dope decides to grapple or smack it ... and then the caltrops fly all over the place? Having multiple of these in the room ... some of them could be smacked around and separated ... and then some of them start to reassemble together again based on what caltrops are nearby to reform ... not necessarly its own. Oh yes, I see the potential for this.
This would be a fun monster to use in game. I'm pleased with its simplicity, it seems to be a unique concept that doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out how it works. You could plunk one of these on the table and your players would know that it's not fun to grapple with it and that it'll probably form a pile of spikes when it perishes.
OK, I think the board ate my post, so hopefully this isn't redundant: I disagree with the judges who are jumping to the conclusion that "golem = high CR". I've seen low CR golems done well before, often in Paizo products. And this is the first Small golem I can ever remember seeing. Medium, yes. Small no. Unfortunately, the size is about all that stands out. All of its abilities are pretty self-evident. It's made of caltrops, so clearly it'd be a bad idea to grapple and it'd leave spiky little hazards in its wake. It's perfectly usable, and I could see it rounding out a monster book. But it doesn't scream "Superstar" to me.
I was initially leaning against this. I personally think there are too many golems in the game. Not all constructs have to be golems. Then I actually read the description. It reminds me of the Shrike from the Dan Simmons's Hyperion series, all spikes and menace. So what if it's small? You fight it a couple rounds, realize you can't hurt it, then just run out of the room (or hobble), and slam the door in its face. Then its caltrops flow under the door like a tide of spikes, and you realize you're in trouble. This might be a tough thing to fight, especially if it sheds caltrops to make difficult or dangerous terrain around itself. I can't think of any bludgeoning reach weapons off the top of my head. Do slings count? Anyone got any adamantine sling bullets?
I like it when someone takes a category of monster that seems played out and exhausted and creates something new. New golems aren't the most difficult type of monster to create, but that conversely makes it harder to make the concept interesting. And you have done so. And the thought of this golem creeping around the headquarters of the Thieves Guild or ninja clan hideout just seems cool.
I'm not much of a fan of the 'create new monster by creating [new material x] golems' school. Maybe you didn't go far enough with your original idea. Just 'a golem, but made of xyz' isn't spectacularly new; you should have made up for that by including some really innovative abilities. Since you didn't, I'm sorry to say this doesn't do much for me. Still, the best of luck for this round.
delabarre wrote: I kinda like this guy. I think I'll call him "Jacks". I love it! I'm definitely for this one. It's hard to find a lot of creative monsters at low level; this may be a little silly, but it keeps the game interesting. Plus, I'm sure a crazy evil villain would love to create one of these things to mess with people.
I'm sorry, but I've never found caltrops to be cool. Also, I don't get what this does that adding armor spikes to a regular golem doesn't. Golems come from myths and popular culture: Jewish traditions or Frankenstein, for example. And there's just no mythic associations with caltrop golems. I guess the only people I can see making this creature in game is a thief's guild.
I favor the low-CR construct niche that this creature fills--it has some dynamics that could be replicated by stretching the animated object of the PF Bestiary to the breaking point, but I think the fluidity and collapsing elements give it a bit of flair. I'm voting for this in hopes that the designer can flesh it out if given the chance, mechanically. I'd certainly play it in my campaign.
I like it, but you could have gone farther with it. Have it fling caltrops like big shuriken or, as Clark suggests, embed caltrops in grapple victims. I like the fluidity of the creature. If I had a wizard use this, they would station the creature in a maze-like area with tons of tiny cross channels between paths and leading to a few some caltrop supply points for the creature to heal itself from. Then have it strike with guerrilla tactics. This'll get a vote.
A creature which leaves hazards behind as you fight and damage it? I like that idea! :) (Although it seems to me that corrosive attacks (rust? acid?) that golem resistances did not render it immune to might not leave much behind for it to 'drop'.
This seems an interesting creature for use in encounters where a guardian is called for, and the first time the PCs withdraw and the 'fluidity' comes into play, I can imagine it causing panic and surprise. My overall impression is of a novel aproach to the 'guardian golem' concept, although it looks a bit rough around the edges. My thanks for submitting this entry. :)
Sorry, you lost me at "Caltrop Golem".
Ok, to be fair, I'm being overly critical. I guess I'm trying to give you my initial impressions. After re-reading it a couple times it is very cool, but I just don't feel it is top of the pile. I haven't voted on anything, and I'll be revisiting each monster before I do.
Praise:
Concerns:
Overall:
Greg A. Vaughan wrote: Hmmm, I'm torn on this one. Caltrops are cool, and so are golems. Combining them together can't be bad. Plus it's halfling sized instead of towering, which is just refreshing. On the other hand I'm not sure how effective it is as a guardian given the expense of creation. It seems more like a monster that hassles you than actually prevents you from stealing what it's guarding--the RPG equivalent of the paint bomb in the bag of money you steal during a bank robbery. It seems like maybe it should be more along the lines of some sort of aninated object with some swarm characteristics or something. It's a cool and original idea, I'm just concerned about the CR issues of making it a true golem for what it does. Oh man, living caltrop swarm. Awesome. "Vermin" that sneaks around the dungeon, always right where you are about to step. Eventually when the PCs get wise, they clump together and attack!, poking and biting the PCs to a fine mushy pulp.
I can actually visualize this critter and it looks pretty cool in my mind's eye! I'm also admiring of a low level construct, which is a niche that needs love. You rightfully described this as a guardian. By seeding the floor with caltrops this is a monster who puts the hazards down where they specifically need to be on a case-by-case basis, and not just where the owner of the lair *thinks* an intruder might go. That's a new design idea, and it needed to be boldfaced. ;-) Good luck sir! You mentioned you're quiet on the boards? Ultimately I hope you advance to the next round, but if you don't I hope stay quiet and that you keep trying and do enter next year.
I like it as well, And gave it one of my votes. You want a low level challenge, pick one. You want to worry even a high level party, 4 or 5. Plus nothing is keeping you from having it spread itself thin on the floor. Fighter: Aw, man! Caltrops! Rogue/Monk: No problem, I'll jump over them and grab the McGuffin! *Rogue jumps over the caltrops, caltrops form into caltrop golem and flip a lever opening the 20X20 pit the rest of the party is standing on waiting for the rogue to jump back.* Rogue: Oh $#$^#$^# (How many rogues carry blunt weapons as a rule?)
What a cool idea! F. Wesley Schneider wrote: I really, really like that this is a small golem. And this is another one where the idea is a little obvious, but I can't think of an instance where it's been done before... so good on ya! The second adventure from the AD&D supermodule OP1. The heralds of the Sapphire Mage.
Matthew Morris wrote:
Do you suppose the golem could reform around a foe? That would certainly be interesting, if, admittedly, a little swarm-like.
If it's slightly larger than a halfling, why not just say its the size of a gnome? Also, as someone pointed out, it would be a better grappler (by virtue of having a higher CMB) if it was actually a large creature. A large creature could also disintegrate into more squares of caltrops as it took damage. Why would a wizard choose to make a small caltrop golem when a large one works better? If you have the money to make a golem, you can afford an extra barrel or two of caltrops. 100 lbs of caltrops only cost 50 gp, and that's without any "buy in bulk" discount. I think you had 2 novel ideas, those being a small golem and a golem made up of tiny objects. I just don't think they work as well together as you thought. It IS interesting, I'll give you that. I just don't know yet if I will be voting for it.
Jason Schimmel wrote:
This is the seventeenth monster that I am looking at. I do not read the comments below the entry before posting my opinion. An apology if this is duplicative of someone else’s entry, in part or whole. Heh heh heh. Spiky Halfling! I kinda like that, for no good reason. Powers:
Summary: Wow, this is a simple critter that sings to me. It’s clever, works well within a certain niche, bordering on Grudge Monster territory, but not quite getting there the way it is described. Now, it’s nothing more than a golem. So I do have to read the remaining 15 entries. It’s entirely possible that something else out there might be better, and there are several contenders. So I don’t know if it will get my vote. However, I do find myself liking the idea of a mini-Hulk that bleeds little pointy things to make your feet hurt.
Jason Schimmel wrote:
Ok, this entry is a golem, yet not a normal golem, material but in fact something new. It's a golem, object. This idea opens up some quite interesting possibility for a whole set of monsters. ( A sword golem, a rope golem (which exists), gem golem, marbel golem,... not to talk about the sillyness of a fruit golem or the epic recursiveness of a golem golem ;) ) But after all this is jsut a golem. It takes a type of object ( rather than material) and modeling a standard golem with abilities based on the object ( rather than material). I really like some of the ideas you have and logical conclusions you draw here. But I'm not really sure if one can really call this creative or innovative.Innovation/creativity:
Tilt:
I'll consider giving you my vote, but i have preciously few. If you make it into round 2 make sure to step up a little, the results would surely intriguing.
"Caltrop golems have the same approximate size and body proportions of an unusually stout Halfling. 'have the same approximate' could have been 'are approximately the'. Arent golems capable of being any size or shape? "Their body’s appearance ..." I think you wasted too much space describing a caltrop, when we already know what they are "Its composition also gives it a fluidity which allows it to pass through spaces only slightly larger than an individual caltrop." Are golems fluid? Is there any precedence with a water or mercury golem? I dont think a golem is fluid, but that's a minor point willing to overlook since it's fluid can it regain (or recall) its parts? Can it add any caltrop into it's being? Can it split and form 2 entities? If it can how do you physically stop this thing? "A caltrop golem will attempt to subdue any opponent by slamming into it" This is so boring and uninspired. There's so much more that can be done with caltops. Since its fluid it could easily create dual cat o nine tail whips attacks or use a caltrop flurry for ranged attacks. Give this guy some martial arts attacks and watch the melee havock. Give this guy wall climbing and you have a spider man styled nemesis. "If a caltrop golem is sufficiently damaged, it will drop the damaged sections of itself" Cool but a problem exists. What constitutes damage? If Bubba the barbarian chops this creatures arm with mighty 2 handed axe will the blade split the parts, or would it just pass and maybe damage a few caltrops? Congratulations, this is a very evocative concept. I think it should have been called a guardian essence to avoid some golem pitfalls like intelligence, and the fluidity issue that many people have discussed. This creature can quite readable reused as well
This could be a little confusing ... How did the author respond to the challenge? Mostly coherent description over rules references. It feels a little stretched to fill up the word count. How does it stack up
In the end it's too limited for me.
My thoughts on the caltrop golem... The Name: Standard golem naming convention. Nothing wrong with that. The Description: I'm not too sure I like the idea of a small golem. There have never been many monsters in the low-CR construct niche, but there shouldn't be. Why would someone invest thousands of gold in a low-CR construct that could be defeated by a few 1st-level warriors? If you can't afford a high-CR construct, multiple skeletons or an army of living mercenaries are each a much better investment. The Powers: Nothing too surprising. A creature made of interlocking caltrops should try and engulf things, should be able to fit through small gaps, and should collapse into its component parts when destroyed. Of course, being small, the caltrop golem is going to be at a disadvantage when grappling things, which is a strike against it. The Buzz: I've seen several posters mention ways that a caltrop golem's abilities could make for an interesting encounter, either as is or with small modifications. However, I'm not sure a caltrop golem is going to get to do too much unless its creator is on hand to direct it. As a mindless automaton, it's probably not going to pursue creatures it can no longer see, use its caltrops to take advantage of terrain, or do any of the cool things a caltrop monster might otherwise do. The Vote: As a (presumably) low-CR construct, the caltrop golem seems a bit too weak for its creation cost. It's also too unintelligent to take full advantage of its versatility. As a result, I'm afraid it hasn't won my vote.
Guide:
Writing: My impression of your writing style.
Originality: Is this creature a unique creation? Does it fill a unique niche in the game? Mojo/ spirit: Do I want to see your creature in my game?
I think you've got some really cool elements here, especially the fluidity, and grappling implications. Your text itself employs a lot of passive voice and excessive words, and you spend quite a bit of wordcount on basics. If it's a golem, we don't need to be told it's mindless and immune to magic. Tell me what makes this particular golem awesome. The fact that it's small is cool, and that it could disguise itself as a pile of caltrops and then congeal into a small humanoid form and ATTACK! is worth expansion. I think a few extra passes with the red pen would do this entry well. With tighter writing you can make more room for yourself to get across all the win in your next entry. Hope to see you in the next round!
While I think the golem made of caltrops is a nifty idea, and would like one in a monster book, the fact that it's too similar to other creatures mentioned (I also immediately thought of Monte's nailmen from dungeon a day, though admittedly, not a ton of people are familiar with that compared to more core monsters), and that the small size grappler doesn't seem like a very effective guardian makes me conclude that while this is a fine monster, it's not superstar.
Does it grab me visually: I like small golems, that’s interesting. It’s made of caltrops…I can see it. I’m not sure what you mean by dropping pieces of itself to create hazards for assailants. Is it dropping whole limbs? Getting grappled by this thing would hurt. Would I use it in game: Probably. I like golems because they force players to revise tactics, especially to combat the magic immunity. I would really like to know what spells can affect this golem. Would my players enjoy an encounter with it: Yes. One of my players loves using caltrops, so this monster would be all of his dreams come true.
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