FAWTL refugee thread

[Doodlebug Anklebiter]

Sounds ominous; will do.

[Limeylongears]

I've been watching episodes of The Tick on Youtube and have developed a bit of a crush on American Maid. I mean, I like bossy women with curly hair anyway, but even so - she's a cartoon character. I need to get out more.

[Don Juan de Doodlebug]

I haven't lusted after a cartoon character in a long time, but here she is.

[Gruumash .]

Hey everything okay with the big guy Black goblin and Doodlebug? You guys left us in the lerch a little there. Hope as is well. We need to get together for some lunch sometime soon.

[Comrade Anklebiter]

Yeah, the Big Guy is fine, thank you for asking.

[Gruumash .]

... ? So who is the big guy?

[Bitter Thorn]

Don Juan de Doodlebug wrote:

I haven't lusted after a cartoon character in a long time, but here she is.

I did not think there would still so much porn for this.

[Comrade Anklebiter]

Gruumash . wrote:

... ? So who is the big guy?

Union stuff. We're in contract negotiations. I'll talk about it later, we're playing our cards close to our chest for now.

[Gruumash .]

Understood ... hope all goes well for you.

[JMD031]

Been a while since anyone posted in this thread. Here is the latest from my Lords of Chaos game.

Spoiler:

So we pick up our Chaotic heroes as they are moving to dock in the Capital city in Cheliax, Egoarian a hive of scum and villainy…no wait that is something else. This place just has things like Hellknights, Devils and other Law related adversaries. But they must go here for this is where I decided to put the Oracle that will tell them where they can get an airship. Before docking they all decide to “pretend to be Champions of Law” in order to “blend in”. They arrive at the dock and head to the nearest bar which happens to be owned by another Lord of Chaos (Metaplot side note: All of the Lords of Chaos from every other game I have ran that my players have played are being pulled to Golarion for diabolic reasons) but is unknown to the players at this time. When they get in, Cyril the Bard almost gets killed by a guy named Jack who kills people randomly based on what the first letter of their name is (today’s letter was W). Narrowly escaping death, Cyril meets back up with Pumba to get the info about the Oracle. Meanwhile, Oz-burn gets pulled into a side room where he meets another Lord of Chaos named Sparky. Sparky is a goblin sorcerer who has a tendency to blow things up because he is addicted to the sound that explosions make. Together they devise a plan to “deliver bombs to people while dressed up like little girls”. Thus Goblin Girl Scouts are born. Meanwhile, Ro-bert is wandering around town and sees a Hellknight walking around. He asks the Hellknight where he got the “cool armor” and the Hellknight pretty much dismisses him as a lower being. Undaunted, Ro-bert looks for a magic shop that will sell him “cool looking armor with spikes on it”. He finds a magic shop, purchases armor and changes right there in the middle of the shop. Back to Cyril and Pumba for a bit, they get information about where the Oracle is and head in that direction. They also become worried as they are told about the presence of Sparky. Undaunted, they head straight to the Oracle, ensuring that everyone knows what “great Champions of Law we are”. Now back to Oz-burn, after almost getting found out at the bar, Sparky and Oz-burn head out into a back alley and make their way through the city. They meet up with Samurai Jack, get some dresses and begin delivering “cookie boxes”. They convince five different people to accept their “cookie boxes” and then get the heck out of dodge. Now back to Ro-bert, he hears all these explosions, begins heading towards them, ends up walking into a different bar where everyone happens to be and promptly kicks down the door. The bartender gets mad and yells at Ro-bert “You are going to have to pay for that” and then is promptly murdered by Ro-bert. The party then heads to the Oracle. The Oracle tells them that they have three options for getting an Airship but before he tells them that he begins to tell them about why they are on Golarion in the first place. The party, starts to become bored and state that they “don’t care”, are informed that there is a wizard named Gorhen that is bringing all of the Lords of Chaos to this world in order to gain access to the Gates that they utilize/protect. After a “so what does that have to do with us” kind of thing, the party is informed that they will stand the best chance of taking this guy out because of the airship they are going to be obtaining. They then request to be told about the three options in the most random way possible (I don’t completely recall the order but it was something like “tell us the second one first, then the second half of the first one and don’t tell us the third one unless you can sing it”). They are told that there is an island with an individual who has an item that will help them find what they are looking for, a fully functional airship already exists in the south of Garund but is missing the keys to start it and finally that there is a person called “The Artificer” who will help them make their own. They decide to go with getting the item and then finding “The Artificer”.

As they leave the Oracle’s place they are attacked by none other than Albert Gore. Yes, the former Vice President was out to get Pumba, aka ManBearPig. For those of you who don’t watch South Park, I suggest watching the episode with Al Gore. Anyways, he ambushes them with some minions. The party makes pretty short work of the minions and Pumba and Mr. Gore get into a shooting match that ends with Mr. Gore casting invisibility (I made him an Inquisitor) and running away. They then had an uneventful boat ride to an island out in the middle of nowhere. There they met a girl named Dora and her friend Boots the Vanara (please no hate mail). Dora had two magical items that would help them on their way a map and a backpack. Ro-bert noticing that this young girl was impeding their progress quickly initiated a fight and the party dispatched the two friends. They then came across a Tanuki named Swiper who showed up, swiped one of their items, threw the item over the hill, and then disappeared (again, no hate mail). With their new found items in place they find out that they have to go to Riddleport, travel through Ustalav and end up at Castle Arrrrgh in Numeria to find The Artificer. The game ends here for the night. Next time the party will have an adventure in Riddleport followed by Bardopolooza the annual festival of Bards from across the land.

[Doodlebug Anklebiter]

More awesomeness from JMDwhatever.

I haven't played D&D in months! :(

But Saturday morning one of my players called and invited me to play in a pick-up game...when I was already going to [camera zooms in] TotalCon!

Where I didn't play D&D, but I played Zombicide and had dinner with the minds behind The Iron GM. In fact, Rone Barton picked up my dinner bill! I think he was looking to score...

[camera zooms in] Only at TotalCon!

Also, I've been rewatching the Harry Potter movies. Got up to The Order of the Phoenix. No grades because they're all awesome! Any flaws are beaten down with heavy (and heady) does of THC!

[bubble bubble bubble]

[Celestial Healer]

Doodlebug Anklebiter wrote:

In fact, Rone Barton picked up my dinner bill! I think he was looking to score...

I notice you do not comment on whether he was successful.

[Bitter Thorn]

Celestial Healer wrote:

Doodlebug Anklebiter wrote:

In fact, Rone Barton picked up my dinner bill! I think he was looking to score...

I notice you do not comment on whether he was successful.

Oh Myyyyy

[Gruumash .]

Well not to be a gossip but they did go and have a drink together after the rest of us left for thr evening and I know Doddlebug was worried about driving in the snow and that Rone had a room upstairs private room I might add.

So make your own assumptions I know I did.

[JMD031]

Good for you Don Juan.

[Don Juan de Doodlebug]

What happens at TotalCon stays at TotalCon.

[Gruumash .]

Oh man I always get that screwed up. Was I supposed to not say anything?

[Pillbug Toenibbler]

Doodlebug is the Richard Gere of goblinkind. Or the David Lee Roth... I forget which.

[Don Juan de Doodlebug]

Perhaps River Phoenix would be more apropos.

[JMD031]

The further misadventures of the Lords of Chaos

Spoiler:

This week we only had three players but it did not deter us from having awesome Lords of Chaos fun. Our Choatic heroes are traveling to Riddleport when they are assaulted by Scrags aka Water Trolls. They quickly dispatch these foes (ensuring not to let them get wet so that they don’t regenerate) using fire bombs from Oz-burn. This fight brings about the funniest conversation ever to grace a Lord of Chaos game. During the fight, one of the players rolled a critical hit and since we are using the Critical Hit deck, pulled the card that severed a finger. Why was this important? Because they decided to “plant it to grow a troll tree”. This spirals into a conversation about having an army of Trolls to fight for them. Then Pumba started talking more about getting the Air Ship and how they will then have to be “Air Pirates”. This leads to conversations regarding falling off the Air Ship, Air Trolls and their existence or lack there of, growing their own Air Troll, the existence of Air Trolls after they grow one, growing a second Air Troll so the first one doesn’t get lonely, ensuring that the Air Troll doesn’t fall off the boat, determining how what will happen if the Air Troll falls off the boat, etc., etc. This awesome conversation went on for about 30 minutes. Afterwards, they dock into Riddleport. I look up a description of this city in the ISWG and start to laugh as I realize that this is the perfect place for Lords of Chaos as there is little to no law influence. They make plans to get rid of the boat and purchase wagons to head to Bardapolooza. The Map tells them that they have to “help a friend” here in this city which they do not want to do. Ro-bert starts randomly killing people as they pass by but gets bored as no one tries to stop him. Pumba sets it up to get the boat sold and to purchase wagons for the trip. Then they meet up with Galdar the Sneaky Sneaky. Who is Galdar the Sneaky Sneaky? He is a former PC Lord of Chaos who has the Stick of Sneaky Sneaky that allows him to hide in plain sight. Anyways, he tells the party that he needs their help rescuing some other Lords of Chaos from “Imprisonment”!!!! (cue dramatic music). For those of you who do not know, Lords of Chaos do not care about dying as dying is part of the cycle of life. However, they fear imprisonment as they conclude that it is a fate worse than death itself. Anyways, they take a gate to another city and then commandeer a boat (while setting another boat on fire) and head off to this island prison that looks oddly like Alcatraz aka The Rock. They get close when their ship is attacked by the citadel on the island. They take off in the dinghy (lol, dinghy) and continue on. They make the climb up the sheer cliff thanks to Oz-burn’s Dire Bat mount and are immediately attacked by guards. As they make their way to the citadel they continue to attack guards along the way. Oz-burn, who used all of his bombs to start the fire on the other ship, downs his mutagen and charges headlong into combat before being mercifully cut down by two guards. This is tragic for two reasons, the party is down a player and I spent some time putting together “the man in red” as a NPC (using Hero Labs new monster creator *shameless plug*) and now I don’t get to use him. The party continues on with a man down and find the Warden. Before the Warden can say anything, Pumba shoots him in the face. After defeating the Warden, they begin to free all the prisoners and try to ensure that this place is blown up sky high. They also pick up a new member of the party, a Magus by the name of Suess who has the Black Blade archtype (I forget which one that was). Unfortunately, due to the hastiness of their escape, I determine that they are not really able to do enough damage to blow up the entire structure but the do cause a significant amount of destruction. They get back to Riddleport and head off to Bardapolooza. On the way to the festival, they encounter a Wolf-in-sheep’s-clothing (random roll on a random chart). They find out about his by hearing the screams of one of their crew and then later finding the half-eaten body of another crewmember. As they investigate the creature springs into attack mode and attacks Pumba. It manages to grapple him but he manages to escape. They then take it out using long range abilities as it has a ridiculously slow speed.

At Bardapolooza, a plan is enacted. They decide to create the largest pile of dead bards ever. They spend all 4 days of the concert setting up an elaborate trap set to go off on the last day during the final show. As they stand about half a mile away from the stage to get a good view of the carnage, they run into several other Lords of Chaos and find out about the Dread Pirate Jimmy. Apparently, not only did he live, but now he’s looking for revenge. Whatever, they have bigger things to worry about, like what are they going to do after they get an airship. Also, Cyril the Bard is also killed during the finally (mainly because the player doesn’t want to play a bard anymore). The game ends here with just a short journey through orc infested territory and the country of Ustalav before getting an airship.

[Pillbug Toenibbler]

Don Juan de Doodlebug wrote:

Perhaps River Phoenix would be more apropos.

Ok, I can buy that. Or that.

Hampshire Anklebiter: "That belongs in a museum! A museum... ON FIRE!"

[Doodlebug Anklebiter]

I lay awake at night dreaming of museums on fire...

So, I finished up all of the Harry Potter movies and they were all awesome (actually I was kind of disappointed by HPatDH,P2 even though I loved HPatDH,P1), I watched Moon again (I think I already graded that, but if I didn't, it still gets an A) and have embarked, against my better instincts, on finally watching the final season of Lost. So far, it's pretty dope.

[Doodlebug Anklebiter]

JMD031 wrote:

The further misadventures of the Lords of Chaos

Excellent work, as always, JMDwhatever.

[Doodlebug Anklebiter]

So, I braved a blizzard this past Friday to get to my shiznitty, part-time (albeit unionized) job.

Despite being a Teamster, I am not the bestest driver in the world, and I fought my beloved rear-wheel drive Towncar for 10 exits before executing a beautiful near 180 into a guard rail.

So, now, between my headlights (one of which is completely smashed) there is a great big gaping hole of nothingness.

The bad news is that I don't have collision coverage, just liability, and my world is about to financially implode.

Otoh, the good news is that now I don't have to renew my insurance which is due next week...

Small blessings are what keep me going.

[Celestial Healer]

Ugh. Sorry to hear that, DA. Any chance a collision shop can do a cosmetically-deficient repair with some salvaged parts? I've had car damage that was estimated at a few thousand by the insurance company that I got a collision shop to do for $150, as long as I didn't care how it looked.

[Doodlebug Anklebiter]

Thank you and, yes, this is what I am hoping for, but it may be a forlorn hope. :(

I'm taking it down for an estimate at one my father's connections through his ol' boy's/gun club network tomorrow.

[Crosses fingers]

[Limeylongears]

Best of luck - hope it works out! :)

EDIT: I knew I had another reason for coming on here. I gave a friend a guitar lesson on Friday, successfully teaching her the chords to Johnny B. Goode and the Infamous Boogie Riff as well. At the end, though, I told her I should have showed her 'Goin' On Up the Country' instead, as it only had two chords (it hasn't). Anyway, she must have misheard me, as she asked me to repeat myself and then left in rather a hurry immediately afterwards. Oh dear.

[JMD031]

That sucks DA. You should find your insurance company's office and burn it down to see of they have fire insurance.

[psionichamster]

In the good news/bad news department, I have a job interview on Wed.

With the State Police department.

Weird.

[Comrade Anklebiter]

psionichamster wrote:

In the good news/bad news department, I have a job interview on Wed.

With the State Police department.

Weird.

Not an employer I'd push you towards, but good luck!

[Doodlebug Anklebiter]

JMD031 wrote:

That sucks DA. You should find your insurance company's office and burn it down to see of they have fire insurance.

Thank you for the sentiment (and for the fire), JMDwhatever, but, no, the bad's on me. They tried to sell me collision, but I thought I'd save a few bucks...

In other news, the estimate from the shop (as opposed to from the friends) came in: $1973, which, of course, is $17 less then where I was going to call it a wash and look for a new car.

It's like they're f@%*ing mindreaders or something...

[Doodlebug Anklebiter]

Hippies usually make me happy

Also.

What are these f@&&ing white dudes doing talking over the guitar solo?!?

[Doodlebug Anklebiter]

Saw Looper yesterday.

Some of my friends had been real time-travel snobs about it, but I thought it was pretty killer. A-. Better than Prometheus, not as good as 12 Monkeys.

[JMD031]

Watched the remake of Conan the Barbarian. I have determined that Conan would have made a great Lord of Chaos. The movie was meh at best.

[Ambrosia Slaad]

Doodlebug Anklebiter wrote:

Saw Looper yesterday.

Some of my friends had been real time-travel snobs about it, but I thought it was pretty killer. A-. Better than Prometheus, not as good as 12 Monkeys.

My only real problem with Looper was the weird make-up they made Joseph Gordon-Levitt wear.

[Doodlebug Anklebiter]

JMD031 wrote:

Watched the remake of Conan the Barbarian. I have determined that Conan would have made a great Lord of Chaos. The movie was meh at best.

Watch it again with some [bubble bubble bubble]; it does wonders.

[Doodlebug Anklebiter]

Ambrosia Slaad wrote:

Doodlebug Anklebiter wrote:

Saw Looper yesterday.

Some of my friends had been real time-travel snobs about it, but I thought it was pretty killer. A-. Better than Prometheus, not as good as 12 Monkeys.

My only real problem with Looper was the weird make-up they made Joseph Gordon-Levitt wear.

Huh, I thought that was a Bruce Willis joke, but I guess they did make him wear special make-up.

Link

[JMD031]

Doodlebug Anklebiter wrote:

JMD031 wrote:

Watched the remake of Conan the Barbarian. I have determined that Conan would have made a great Lord of Chaos. The movie was meh at best.

Watch it again with some [bubble bubble bubble]; it does wonders.

Yeah, I'm unable to do that as I'm a member of the National Guard and they do random drug tests monthly.

[Doodlebug Anklebiter]

Well, that's too bad. Maybe beer will help.

I remember seeing it twice--once blazed, once starting sober, quickly realizing that wasn't much fun, and then getting blazed and enjoying it much more.

I liked when they did it in the cave.

[TriOmegaZero]

JMD031 wrote:

Yeah, I'm unable to do that as I'm a member of the National Guard and they do random drug tests monthly.

I may be doing some Reserve time these next couple years. Luckily, I've never desired anything that would pop up on one of those.

[Doodlebug Anklebiter]

Oh, did you leave active service?

And are congratulations in order?

If so, congratulations!

[TriOmegaZero]

Signing out next month.

[Doodlebug Anklebiter]

Congratulations!

[JMD031]

You going Active Reserve or Inactive Reserve?

[TriOmegaZero]

Active. I'm being told I can get separation pay by signing a three year commitment, and after twelve years full-time, being a weekend warrior should be easy. :)

[psionichamster]

Grats, TOZ.

Glad to see you mustering out in one piece.

[TOZ]

Physically maybe.

We have a LOT of mental pieces.

:)

[TriOmegaZero]

*stuffs TOZ back in the box*

[JMD031]

TriOmegaZero wrote:

Active. I'm being told I can get separation pay by signing a three year commitment, and after twelve years full-time, being a weekend warrior should be easy. :)

You would be surprised...

Of course with the OPTEMPO going down that will likely change.

[TriOmegaZero]

Do YOU have five deployments in ten years? :P