Wolfie, KC's #2 Buddy |
This is totally awesome.
{incoming from the Astral} Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!- <WHUMP!> Ouchie?
<WHUMP!> Hey, this demiplane <WHUMP!> has some sort <WHUMP!> of Astral barrier! <WHUMP!><WHUMP!><WHUMP!>
I can't get in! I can sorta make out KC in there, but I'm locked out.
{flags down group of passing humanoids} Hey, could any of you githyankis- {githzerai stop and attack} Yikes! Hey, you almost hit me! Don't you like friendly spiders? {runs for life}
Kobold Catgirl |
Kobold Cleaver wrote:Oi! Kobolds are better miners! Dwarves suck at mining, they don't even have a bonus!Suuuuure they are! That's why you always see some many folks trying to find the famous lost kobold mines/kingdoms.
Oh, wait.....
It--that's because of the stupid Wizards! They can't stand Lawful Evil races being economically successful!
Yknaps the Lesserprechaun |
Yknaps the Lesserprechaun wrote:It--that's because of the stupid Wizards! They can't stand Lawful Evil races being economically successful!Kobold Cleaver wrote:Oi! Kobolds are better miners! Dwarves suck at mining, they don't even have a bonus!Suuuuure they are! That's why you always see some many folks trying to find the famous lost kobold mines/kingdoms.
Oh, wait.....
Or...they just can't stand a race whose special ability is "Lose Bladder Control".
Kobold Catgirl |
Kobold Cleaver wrote:Or...they just can't stand a race whose special ability is "Lose Bladder Control".Yknaps the Lesserprechaun wrote:It--that's because of the stupid Wizards! They can't stand Lawful Evil races being economically successful!Kobold Cleaver wrote:Oi! Kobolds are better miners! Dwarves suck at mining, they don't even have a bonus!Suuuuure they are! That's why you always see some many folks trying to find the famous lost kobold mines/kingdoms.
Oh, wait.....
Incorrect!
This place sucks.*Teleports*
Ward |
Hey, I'm all for selling the Cleave. It's partially the risk of conceiving another neurotic, reptilian mess like him that has driven me to spend more time at the office. It was just that the gypsies were pitching way low for someone that could obviously make a lot in the freak-shows off of the midway. But believe me, if I had known that he was going to be this much of a problem, I'd have given him to the gypsies then for free!
I MADE A MISTAKE. There, I said it. Are you happy?
Ward |
I've got it. Put something in his milk and cookies and sneak it up to him, like you're going behind my back. He'll stuff his scaly little face, pass out, we'll drown him, then bury him in the flower garden tonight while everybody is out at the carnival. It's not as good as selling him to the gypsies, but at least the nightmare will be over and we can start to live again...
June Cleaver |
Garydee wrote:I don't think I'll ever be able to watch "Leave it to Beaver" again without this thread popping into my head.*Electrocutes mother*
That was what they intended.
Now where's that father?
Hey, dad? Uh, I have cookies here! Come over here and eat them! *Readies Cleaver*
Ouch! How dare, you, ya little bastard!
Kobold Catgirl |
Kobold Cleaver wrote:Ouch! How dare, you, ya little bastard!Garydee wrote:I don't think I'll ever be able to watch "Leave it to Beaver" again without this thread popping into my head.*Electrocutes mother*
That was what they intended.
Now where's that father?
Hey, dad? Uh, I have cookies here! Come over here and eat them! *Readies Cleaver*
*Decapitates*
Man, I hate these people.Ward |
June Cleaver wrote:Kobold Cleaver wrote:Ouch! How dare, you, ya little bastard!Garydee wrote:I don't think I'll ever be able to watch "Leave it to Beaver" again without this thread popping into my head.*Electrocutes mother*
That was what they intended.
Now where's that father?
Hey, dad? Uh, I have cookies here! Come over here and eat them! *Readies Cleaver**Decapitates*
Man, I hate these people.
Drags June's decapitated corpse into the safe room and locks himself in.
That's too bad. Well, those frown lines were looking pretty permanent...I wonder were I could find a prettier head with an acceptable brain to put on old June? Her body is still in pretty good shape. This could be what saves our marriage!
Kobold Catgirl |
Kobold Cleaver wrote:June Cleaver wrote:Kobold Cleaver wrote:Ouch! How dare, you, ya little bastard!Garydee wrote:I don't think I'll ever be able to watch "Leave it to Beaver" again without this thread popping into my head.*Electrocutes mother*
That was what they intended.
Now where's that father?
Hey, dad? Uh, I have cookies here! Come over here and eat them! *Readies Cleaver**Decapitates*
Man, I hate these people.Drags June's decapitated corpse into the safe room and locks himself in.
That's too bad. Well, those frown lines were looking pretty permanent...I wonder were I could find a prettier head with an acceptable brain to put on old June? Her body is still in pretty good shape. This could be what saves our marriage!
*Booby-traps door*
Heeere, ward ward ward ward ward...Wolfie, KC's #2 Buddy |
Searches for lock to the sliding glass door, unlocks and opens it for Wolfie.
w00t! Those Githys were tough to shake. They almost had me until some lawyer showed up and threatened them... something about "not OGL" and "product identity" and "branding."
Where'd you go KC? {pedipalps suddenly twitch} Oooo, Seek-and-Go-Hide, eh? Ah-hah, my Kobold Sense detects you behind this door-
*Booby-traps door* Heeere, ward ward ward ward ward...
<ZAP!>
{chitin-scented smoke clears, reveals him lying on back, still smoldering slightly} Ouchie? Wait, was that my Kobold Sense or Spidey (Danger) Sense?
Kobold Catgirl |
Kobold Cleaver wrote:...
...How did you get in?YAY!!!!111! You're here! I think your doorbell has a short in the wiring. Your reinforced door held up, but I grounded into the wall and burnt a hole through it. Oopsie.
Hey Kobie! He's here!
Gosh, KC, your mom's awful quiet. Is she shy?
I don't know. Why don't you go check on her?
Wolfie, KC's #2 Buddy |
I don't know. Why don't you go check on her?
{pokes corpse of Mrs. Cleaver gently} Gosh, KC, I think she's taking a nap. I'm not sure, I can't find her eyes to see if they're closed.
Actually, I think she lost her head somewhere. Gosh. When my mom told me "I'd lose my head if it wasn't attached," I thought she was just kidding me.
{to headless corpse} Marco...
Ward |
Don't worry boys, I'll get the Missus a new head.
Say, you boys are kind of homely, but you seem like good kids. I'm glad KC has some friends who aren't so moody...do the boy some good. Cleave, you play nice with your little friends while I take your mom in search of a new head.
Speeds out of the thread in his 1961 Plymouth Fury 4-door hardtop.
Wolfie, KC's #2 Buddy |
{to headless corpse} Marco...
Gosh, KC, doesn't your mom know how to play Marco Volo?
Marco...
Cleave, you play nice with your little friends while I take your mom in search of a new head.
AUGH! Now the rest of her is gone too. {whistles innocently, shuffles all eight feet}