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The Thread Celestial


Off-Topic Discussions

3,201 to 3,238 of 3,238 << first < prev | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 | 59 | 60 | 61 | 62 | 63 | 64 | 65 | next > last >>

I'm starting to think this house was built on a mages' sacred burial ground, and at least a couple made regular use of time stop.

{puts tentacles on TV screen}

Silver Crusade

That might explain all the summoning circles.


I thought those were aliens' crop circles. Huh.

If they're for summoning fiends, that could explain alot. However, it does pose a new question: Why are the summoned fiends so interested in rectal probing the Prime Material yokels?

Silver Crusade

The Prime Material yokels were totally asking for it.


I made some yolk 'L's one time when I was cooking.


Why is my hair on fire?

What's especially weird about that is I have no hair.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Well, after the CDC confiscated the leprosy-laden armadillo petting zoo, you cracked open a bottle of Ol' Janx Spirit and started drinking. About an hour later, you shouted something about Mrs. Frisby and Nicodemus weighing the same as a duck and therefore witches... so you set your Burt Reynold's Franklin Mint Commemorative Toupee Collection on fire.

CH & I made s'mores though. {offers plate of s'mores to CF}

Silver Crusade

1 person marked this as a favorite.

The s'mores are tasty, if you are a fan of burnt hair.


Celestial Thaumoctopus wrote:

Well, after the CDC confiscated the leprosy-laden armadillo petting zoo, you cracked open a bottle of Ol' Janx Spirit and started drinking. About an hour later, you shouted something about Mrs. Frisby and Nicodemus weighing the same as a duck and therefore witches... so you set your Burt Reynold's Franklin Mint Commemorative Toupee Collection on fire.

CH & I made s'mores though. {offers plate of s'mores to CF}

I really miss the Cannonball Runner, now that I've had time to sober up.

Silver Crusade

What do you mean "sober up"? Since when does the Celestial thread allow booze?


*discreetly returns flask to interior of coat*


Celestial Healer wrote:
What do you mean "sober up"? Since when does the Celestial thread allow booze?

I didn't get drunk in the Thread Celestial.

I blame imps. Or cacodaemons.


{quietly hides half-eaten cacaodaemon left over from Eekster}

Silver Crusade

Mmmm. Cocoa-demons.


I've heard they're magically delicious.


{knocks over garbage can outside, rummages around for any non-turnip leftovers to eat}

Silver Crusade

Time to set up more traps. What did we do with that otyugh?


Om nom nom!


I remember when I thought you were a weird little squirrel, CFO.

Silver Crusade

To be fair, we do get some f@!*ed up squirrels in these parts.


You ain't f@+#ing kidding.


Feed me, CeFo!

Silver Crusade

2 people marked this as a favorite.

I think those spoiled turnips are giving me hallucinations.


Aw, darn it. The magic turnip salesperson told me that those turnips would never spoil.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

OK. OK.

The boss is getting married, and I haven't met his fiancé yet. I should tidy up the place for when they show up. We need to make a good first impression!


Married? That means a f#$*ing bachelor party! I know this club in Gehenna where the strippers literally strip their skin. This is gonna be f~$#ing awesome!

Silver Crusade

That sounds... Unpleasant.


You don't f&!&ing know the half of it.

Silver Crusade

I mean, if you're going to get strippers, you could at least use succubi. Best part is they can make themselves alluring no matter what your tastes.

At least... That's what I've heard.


On the one hand you've heard correct, yeeeeessss.

On the other... well... how do you feel about energy drain?


Gentleman Nurn wrote:
On the other... well... how do you feel about energy drain?

I only hire succubi that are EnergyStar compliant.

Er, so I've heard.

Ummm... wait, no, that wasn't me. Nosiree, nope not me.

Silver Crusade

1 person marked this as a favorite.

I only consort with succubi that drain renewable energy.


Well... technically life force qualifies... at least as long as you have a soul or reasonable facsimile thereof remaining....


<drools>


2 people marked this as a favorite.

{gently scoots CF over to the plastic sheet on the floor}

Hey! [lightbulb] Is there a market for celestial follower drool as a spell or alchemical component? Or as a refreshing bottled beverage? We could charge primo moolah if we could put it in a blinged-out bottle and call it something upscale.

Silver Crusade

Nobody wants that. His drool smells like Courtney Love.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

I just got back from the year-long (I think? Time is really wonky in the planes) cooking college. The professional chef teaching the class said I could burn toast in ways she'd never seen before. At graduation, she said I inspired her to pursue a career in law.

Silver Crusade

That sounds about right.

3,201 to 3,238 of 3,238 << first < prev | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 | 59 | 60 | 61 | 62 | 63 | 64 | 65 | next > last >>
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