We welcome all celestial beings and objects. Heck, we'll even allow things infernal (if they don't mind a cudgel hit or two), neutral (slaads), or neutered (poodles). Jacks can come over too, as long as there is no punting. No dretchings, please.
The big leisure-suited monkey is getting uproariously drunk. His fiendish dryad and nymph friends are also well on their way, and have decided to quit giving out the death stares to Missy and Mandy and join the bacchanal on the dance floor. Much rubbing and gyrating ensues
What do I have to do to get a drink around here? Fill the air with toxins and blow around menacingly in the wind?
Rifftrax is definitely the best way to watch "The Happening" by the way.
...or on a brainbending substance
{wanders behind the bar, no one seems to object} Here ya go Leafy... {slids him an Irish Eyes} ...just don't start singing that song.
*Hic*
That's good stuff barkeep! Now I'm going to get my plant brethren to infiltrate...freshen this place up.
By the way, what's with the Pit Fiend bouncers?
I'm a balor, thank you very much. You just love lumping all fiends into one category, don't you?
It could be the blurred vision brought on by this wonderful drink, *hic*, but, no, you've really got Pit Fiend bouncers. I can tell the difference, you know?
It could be the blurred vision brought on by this wonderful drink, *hic*, but, no, you've really got Pit Fiend bouncers. I can tell the difference, you know?
Can I get another one of those Irish Eyes, barkeep?
*Lightweight. That drink isn't strong enough to strip the paint off my golem ass. Oh well, give 'em what they want.* {slides another drink to the leafy fellow}
Little Caesar Dretching wrote:
I'm actually dead too, and slaadi don't have any after-life deal... but I guess a deity interceded on my behalf.
{ponders telling the dretching of the All-Spark splinter embedded in his forehead, but thinks better of it.} Here little guy, have a White Russian. It was recommended by The Dude over at the end of the bar.
Celestial Follower! Get some more liquor. And maybe some nachos and cocktail weenies. I'll never attract a big cult without liquor, nachos, and cocktail weenies.
All right! Almost like the Jack's Clubhouse!
We may have to assimilate this cult.
Don' m'k me shm'te ya...
Cool, a talking tuna!
That'sh 't...shmite!
*Lightning bolt strikes JRHM*
*laughs at the little one volt jolt the fish gives* Man, this fish has some serious delusions.
{tumble in through the doors, already pretty sloshed}
Drew: Hey, has anyone seen our older brother, Hugh? He's got some new Wolf-R-Reem thingie he has to start casting for, but the producers can't find him
Stew: Forget him for now -- babes and brewskis are everywhere! It's like heaven in here!
Drew: That's handy. {fishes magic marker out} Thanks Fishie! Gonna need this to write down some sheilas' phone numbers.
Mr. Jackman is on the run from the law. If you see him, you are legally obligated to turn him in or face charges of conspiracy and obstruction of justice, which carry execution penalties.
Celestial Follower! Get some more liquor. And maybe some nachos and cocktail weenies. I'll never attract a big cult without liquor, nachos, and cocktail weenies.
All right! Almost like the Jack's Clubhouse!
We may have to assimilate this cult.
Don' m'k me shm'te ya...
Cool, a talking tuna!
That'sh 't...shmite!
*Lightning bolt strikes JRHM*
*laughs at the little one volt jolt the fish gives* Man, this fish has some serious delusions.
Um... I think electricity just heals golems.
Nah, only some types of golems. Jacks are just highly resistant.
Also, I think you mean the Jackmen are on the run from your crazy women. If I weren't busy guarding this place, I'd look into consecrating your country.
I'm still kinda hung up on internet domination. Do you think maybe we could "convert" everyone to celestialism through the careful deployment of charismatic televangelists?
I'm still kinda hung up on internet domination. Do you think maybe we could "convert" everyone to celestialism through the careful deployment of charismatic televangelists?
That'd be annoying and probably hurt you in the polls. It'd be better to just kill 'em and Raise 'em with the Celestial template. {goes back to sipping Mint Julep through straw}
Thanks barkeep, funky winged guy... *I wonder if he poses for van art?* I gotta go. Time to meet Donny and Walter for bowling. {zips up bowling bag, heads for the door}
Where did my Celestial Follower go? Is he still gallivanting in that stolen hellcop car? We're almost out of pizza rolls.
If you run out of food, you may run out of followers. Of course, some of your guests may prefer to devour souls...not me, of course. Play with my food, maybe...
Hooray! We're back! That side trip to Ry'leh, North Carolina was pretty rough.
I managed to get some snacks!
<Opens the trunk and reaches into an impossibly-large maw>
These cop cars sure do have a lot of trunk space. Here's some pizza rolls, margarita mix, 300 bottles of liquor...I've been told to try the King in Yellow Tequila, nachos, Red Baron pizzas, all kinds of different Doritos...including Spicy Soul Sucking Doritos, pretzels...
Hooray! We're back! That side trip to Ry'leh, North Carolina was pretty rough.
I managed to get some snacks!
<Opens the trunk and reaches into an impossibly-large maw>
These cop cars sure do have a lot of trunk space. Here's some pizza rolls, margarita mix, 300 bottles of liquor...I've been told to try the King in Yellow Tequila, nachos, Red Baron pizzas, all kinds of different Doritos...including Spicy Soul Sucking Doritos, pretzels...
yummm...Spicy Soul Sucking Doritos, my favorite. Err..I mean I should try them...for the 1st time. Ever.
Hooray! We're back! That side trip to Ry'leh, North Carolina was pretty rough.
I managed to get some snacks!
<Opens the trunk and reaches into an impossibly-large maw>
These cop cars sure do have a lot of trunk space. Here's some pizza rolls, margarita mix, 300 bottles of liquor...I've been told to try the King in Yellow Tequila, nachos, Red Baron pizzas, all kinds of different Doritos...including Spicy Soul Sucking Doritos, pretzels...
"Oh nice, you have brought back lots of crisps that need to be dunked in red gooey liquid, how outer-planar. And most importantly liquor, groovy.!"
"Oh nice, you have brought back lots of crisps that need to be dunked in red gooey liquid, how outer-planar. And most importantly liquor, groovy.!"
Hmmm. Celestial Healer, can use your celestial sight on this 'un? Ah think we mites haf oursels ah hippeh furriner hayr!!!
"No dear doctor, i am quite familiar with the celestial realms, but of course i am not from the colonies like some. Your name indicates germanic decent?"
No dear doctor, i am quite familiar with the ceelestial realms, but of course i am not from the colonies like some. Your name indicates germanic decent?"
{grumbles} Hippehs is well known ta be up ahn da fancy book-lernin. Ah aints convinced.
"Germanic?" Nope, from Athkatla, in Amn. I'd just hopped a Gate from Toril to Sigil, when I spotted Celestial Follower buying a couple crates of turnips. My pappy always told me to trust a man that knows how to buy a good turnip, so I followed him here.
Or at least, that's how I remember it. I can't guarantee anything... other than I haven't been sober in over 7 years.
"Good job, dear chap on that lack of sobriety very commmendable. Would you happen to help me get in such an inerbriated state?"
Here you go- {passes over walnut-sized lump of an unknown substance with over a dozen different types of pills mashed into it's surface} you should like it. It's 'Tussin-flavored too.
DSXMachina wrote:
*passes over a beer*
"Bottoms up."
{empties beer into mug, then drops a shot glass of Ol' Janx Spirit into it} Yummy! {slams it down}