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The Thread Celestial


Off-Topic Discussions

251 to 300 of 3,147 << first < prev | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | next > last >>

"I have my car outside, we could cruise around and hunt them down. See what mischief they have got up to?"

*spins key to his car around finger, while staggering towards the bar*


lynora-Jill wrote:

Downs a margarita.

I...don't feel so good. I don't suppose anyone prepared neutralize poison today? Oh dear. Colors are definitely not supposed to do that.

Maybe you should sit down?

leads LJ to a couch


Celestial Follower wrote:

Come one, come all, to the thread celestial!

We welcome all celestial beings and objects. Heck, we'll even allow things infernal (if they don't mind a cudgel hit or two), neutral (slaads), or neutered (poodles). Jacks can come over too, as long as there is no punting. No dretchings, please.

Plus, FREE TURNIPS.

Now we can just sit back and wait.

But I hate turnips.


What do I have to do to get a drink around here? Fill the air with toxins and blow around menacingly in the wind?

Rifftrax is definitely the best way to watch "The Happening" by the way.


Leaf Ericson wrote:

What do I have to do to get a drink around here? Fill the air with toxins and blow around menacingly in the wind?

Rifftrax is definitely the best way to watch "The Happening" by the way.

...or on a brainbending substance

{wanders behind the bar, no one seems to object} Here ya go Leafy... {slids him an Irish Eyes} ...just don't start singing that song.


Jack Hammer wrote:
lynora-Jill wrote:

Downs a margarita.

I...don't feel so good. I don't suppose anyone prepared neutralize poison today? Oh dear. Colors are definitely not supposed to do that.

Maybe you should sit down?

leads LJ to a couch

"Yeah, sitting down would be good. Wow. The world went all bendy. This is definitely not good."


DSXMachina wrote:

"I have my car outside, we could cruise around and hunt them down. See what mischief they have got up to?"

*spins key to his car around finger, while staggering towards the bar*

*Shimmers into view*

They are at the Slaad Thread. Prepare yourselves, for they may be chased by slaadi here...

Hello Lynora-jill. You should probably start to check your drinks for 'extras'.


Db3's Astral Projection wrote:
DSXMachina wrote:

"I have my car outside, we could cruise around and hunt them down. See what mischief they have got up to?"

*spins key to his car around finger, while staggering towards the bar*

*Shimmers into view*

They are at the Slaad Thread. Prepare yourselves, for they may be chased by slaadi here...

Hello Lynora-jill. You should probably start to check your drinks for 'extras'.

This is so weird. I've never actually seen sound before. It's making me kind of nauseous.


The big leisure-suited monkey is getting uproariously drunk. His fiendish dryad and nymph friends are also well on their way, and have decided to quit giving out the death stares to Missy and Mandy and join the bacchanal on the dance floor. Much rubbing and gyrating ensues

Silver Crusade

I started with a cult and ended up with a rave. How odd.


Jack J. Jackson, Beer Delivery wrote:
Leaf Ericson wrote:

What do I have to do to get a drink around here? Fill the air with toxins and blow around menacingly in the wind?

Rifftrax is definitely the best way to watch "The Happening" by the way.

...or on a brainbending substance

{wanders behind the bar, no one seems to object} Here ya go Leafy... {slids him an Irish Eyes} ...just don't start singing that song.

*Hic*

That's good stuff barkeep! Now I'm going to get my plant brethren to infiltrate...freshen this place up.

By the way, what's with the Pit Fiend bouncers?


Leaf Ericson wrote:
Jack J. Jackson, Beer Delivery wrote:
Leaf Ericson wrote:

What do I have to do to get a drink around here? Fill the air with toxins and blow around menacingly in the wind?

Rifftrax is definitely the best way to watch "The Happening" by the way.

...or on a brainbending substance

{wanders behind the bar, no one seems to object} Here ya go Leafy... {slids him an Irish Eyes} ...just don't start singing that song.

*Hic*

That's good stuff barkeep! Now I'm going to get my plant brethren to infiltrate...freshen this place up.

By the way, what's with the Pit Fiend bouncers?

I'm a balor, thank you very much. You just love lumping all fiends into one category, don't you?


Abyssal Healer wrote:
Leaf Ericson wrote:
Jack J. Jackson, Beer Delivery wrote:
Leaf Ericson wrote:

What do I have to do to get a drink around here? Fill the air with toxins and blow around menacingly in the wind?

Rifftrax is definitely the best way to watch "The Happening" by the way.

...or on a brainbending substance

{wanders behind the bar, no one seems to object} Here ya go Leafy... {slids him an Irish Eyes} ...just don't start singing that song.

*Hic*

That's good stuff barkeep! Now I'm going to get my plant brethren to infiltrate...freshen this place up.

By the way, what's with the Pit Fiend bouncers?

I'm a balor, thank you very much. You just love lumping all fiends into one category, don't you?

It could be the blurred vision brought on by this wonderful drink, *hic*, but, no, you've really got Pit Fiend bouncers. I can tell the difference, you know?


Abyssal Healer wrote:
Leaf Ericson wrote:
Jack J. Jackson, Beer Delivery wrote:
Leaf Ericson wrote:

What do I have to do to get a drink around here? Fill the air with toxins and blow around menacingly in the wind?

Rifftrax is definitely the best way to watch "The Happening" by the way.

...or on a brainbending substance

{wanders behind the bar, no one seems to object} Here ya go Leafy... {slids him an Irish Eyes} ...just don't start singing that song.

*Hic*

That's good stuff barkeep! Now I'm going to get my plant brethren to infiltrate...freshen this place up.

By the way, what's with the Pit Fiend bouncers?

I'm a balor, thank you very much. You just love lumping all fiends into one category, don't you?

Ew! It's a demon!

/\Actually, that's Orcus.


Sytt, Lesser Yugoloth wrote:
Abyssal Healer wrote:
Leaf Ericson wrote:
Jack J. Jackson, Beer Delivery wrote:
Leaf Ericson wrote:

What do I have to do to get a drink around here? Fill the air with toxins and blow around menacingly in the wind?

Rifftrax is definitely the best way to watch "The Happening" by the way.

...or on a brainbending substance

{wanders behind the bar, no one seems to object} Here ya go Leafy... {slids him an Irish Eyes} ...just don't start singing that song.

*Hic*

That's good stuff barkeep! Now I'm going to get my plant brethren to infiltrate...freshen this place up.

By the way, what's with the Pit Fiend bouncers?

I'm a balor, thank you very much. You just love lumping all fiends into one category, don't you?

Ew! It's a demon!

/\Actually, that's Orcus.

It was the closest thing there was to a balor.

Ew! It's a yugoloth!


after making sure LJ is back safely from her trip, JH excuses himself and heads out


Can I get another one of those Irish Eyes, barkeep?

Qadira

Celestial Healer wrote:
El-Lina Solareil wrote:

cozies up alongside Celestial Healer

"I'm dead. Will that be a problem? I'm so cold. I need someone to warm me up."

*turns undead*

Genius! Now she won't try to snuggle for warmth, cause you're undead!

I'm actually dead too, and slaadi don't have any after-life deal... but I guess a deity interceded on my behalf.


Leaf Ericson wrote:

It could be the blurred vision brought on by this wonderful drink, *hic*, but, no, you've really got Pit Fiend bouncers. I can tell the difference, you know?

Can I get another one of those Irish Eyes, barkeep?

*Lightweight. That drink isn't strong enough to strip the paint off my golem ass. Oh well, give 'em what they want.* {slides another drink to the leafy fellow}

Little Caesar Dretching wrote:
I'm actually dead too, and slaadi don't have any after-life deal... but I guess a deity interceded on my behalf.

{ponders telling the dretching of the All-Spark splinter embedded in his forehead, but thinks better of it.} Here little guy, have a White Russian. It was recommended by The Dude over at the end of the bar.


Jack J. Jackson, Beer Delivery wrote:
Here little guy, have a White Russian. It was recommended by The Dude over at the end of the bar.

Hey buddy, a weird frozen spider-poodle head thingie just appeared in the ice machine behind you.

Oh, could I get another White Russian... with no ice please.


<The poodle head rolls out of the ice machine and shatters>

If I had the means to do it, I'd be sick right now. *hic*

Gimme another a dem Irish Eyes, barkeep! NO ice for me either.


<The pieces of the poodle head thaw, and each sprouts a set of spider legs. The pieces crawl towards each other.>

Hiss! Hiss! Hiss! Hiss! Hiss! Hiss! Hiss! Hiss! Hiss!

<The poodle-head slaad thing reforms completely, and it sprays twin streams of acid at random patrons in the thread.>

HISS!!!

<It then scuttles out of the thread.>


Abyssal Healer wrote:
Sytt, Lesser Yugoloth wrote:
Abyssal Healer wrote:
Leaf Ericson wrote:
Jack J. Jackson, Beer Delivery wrote:
Leaf Ericson wrote:

What do I have to do to get a drink around here? Fill the air with toxins and blow around menacingly in the wind?

Rifftrax is definitely the best way to watch "The Happening" by the way.

...or on a brainbending substance

{wanders behind the bar, no one seems to object} Here ya go Leafy... {slids him an Irish Eyes} ...just don't start singing that song.

*Hic*

That's good stuff barkeep! Now I'm going to get my plant brethren to infiltrate...freshen this place up.

By the way, what's with the Pit Fiend bouncers?

I'm a balor, thank you very much. You just love lumping all fiends into one category, don't you?

Ew! It's a demon!

/\Actually, that's Orcus.

It was the closest thing there was to a balor.

Ew! It's a yugoloth!

Ew! It's a...um...something really stupid.

...
Obyriths were better.

Silver Crusade

Have the go-go dancers arrived yet?

Andoran

Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Angel Fish wrote:
Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Angel Fish wrote:
Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Warforged Jack wrote:
Celestial Healer wrote:
Celestial Follower! Get some more liquor. And maybe some nachos and cocktail weenies. I'll never attract a big cult without liquor, nachos, and cocktail weenies.
All right! Almost like the Jack's Clubhouse!
We may have to assimilate this cult.
Don' m'k me shm'te ya...
Cool, a talking tuna!

That'sh 't...shmite!

*Lightning bolt strikes JRHM*
*laughs at the little one volt jolt the fish gives* Man, this fish has some serious delusions.

Um... I think electricity just heals golems.

Andoran

Azhagal wrote:

FREE MUFFINS!!!!!!!

little do they know, the end is nigh, Vomit Guy's resurrection will be upon us soon! mehehehhhhh......

Little does he know that the muffins are implanted with eggs...

Qadira

Drew & Stew Jackman wrote:

{tumble in through the doors, already pretty sloshed}

Drew: Hey, has anyone seen our older brother, Hugh? He's got some new Wolf-R-Reem thingie he has to start casting for, but the producers can't find him

Stew: Forget him for now -- babes and brewskis are everywhere! It's like heaven in here!

Celestial Follower wrote:
<Drops magic marker into Angel Fish's bowl>
Angel Fish wrote:
AIII!! *Cough cough cough* Can't...breathe...through poison...

Drew: That's handy. {fishes magic marker out} Thanks Fishie! Gonna need this to write down some sheilas' phone numbers.

Mr. Jackman is on the run from the law. If you see him, you are legally obligated to turn him in or face charges of conspiracy and obstruction of justice, which carry execution penalties.


Gark the Goblin wrote:
Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Angel Fish wrote:
Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Angel Fish wrote:
Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Warforged Jack wrote:
Celestial Healer wrote:
Celestial Follower! Get some more liquor. And maybe some nachos and cocktail weenies. I'll never attract a big cult without liquor, nachos, and cocktail weenies.
All right! Almost like the Jack's Clubhouse!
We may have to assimilate this cult.
Don' m'k me shm'te ya...
Cool, a talking tuna!

That'sh 't...shmite!

*Lightning bolt strikes JRHM*
*laughs at the little one volt jolt the fish gives* Man, this fish has some serious delusions.
Um... I think electricity just heals golems.

Nah, only some types of golems. Jacks are just highly resistant.

Also, I think you mean the Jackmen are on the run from your crazy women. If I weren't busy guarding this place, I'd look into consecrating your country.


Cobb Slaad wrote:

<The pieces of the poodle head thaw, and each sprouts a set of spider legs. The pieces crawl towards each other.>

Hiss! Hiss! Hiss! Hiss! Hiss! Hiss! Hiss! Hiss! Hiss!

<The poodle-head slaad thing reforms completely, and it sprays twin streams of acid at random patrons in the thread.>

HISS!!!

<It then scuttles out of the thread.>

Whoa, I think I'm having some weird Cohen Bros flashback.

Silver Crusade

I'm still kinda hung up on internet domination. Do you think maybe we could "convert" everyone to celestialism through the careful deployment of charismatic televangelists?


Celestial Healer wrote:
I'm still kinda hung up on internet domination. Do you think maybe we could "convert" everyone to celestialism through the careful deployment of charismatic televangelists?

That'd be annoying and probably hurt you in the polls. It'd be better to just kill 'em and Raise 'em with the Celestial template. {goes back to sipping Mint Julep through straw}


Demi-Lich H. Ross Perot wrote:
{goes back to sipping Mint Julep through straw}

Barkeepish purshon, cooould I haf annynodder... {passes out, rolls off counter, and falls into open bowling ball bag on floor}

Silver Crusade

Demi-Lich H. Ross Perot wrote:
Demi-Lich H. Ross Perot wrote:
{goes back to sipping Mint Julep through straw}
Barkeepish purshon, cooould I haf annynodder... {passes out, rolls off counter, and falls into open bowling ball bag on floor}

He fell faster than his presidential campaign...


Celestial Healer wrote:
He fell faster than his presidential campaign...

Thanks barkeep, funky winged guy... *I wonder if he poses for van art?* I gotta go. Time to meet Donny and Walter for bowling. {zips up bowling bag, heads for the door}

Silver Crusade

Where did my Celestial Follower go? Is he still gallivanting in that stolen hellcop car? We're almost out of pizza rolls.


Celestial Healer wrote:
Where did my Celestial Follower go? Is he still gallivanting in that stolen hellcop car? We're almost out of pizza rolls.

If you run out of food, you may run out of followers. Of course, some of your guests may prefer to devour souls...not me, of course. Play with my food, maybe...


<Infernal cop car pops in>

Wee-ooo! Wee-ooo! Wee-ooo!

<Tentacles grab random patrons>

Hooray! We're back! That side trip to Ry'leh, North Carolina was pretty rough.

I managed to get some snacks!

<Opens the trunk and reaches into an impossibly-large maw>

These cop cars sure do have a lot of trunk space. Here's some pizza rolls, margarita mix, 300 bottles of liquor...I've been told to try the King in Yellow Tequila, nachos, Red Baron pizzas, all kinds of different Doritos...including Spicy Soul Sucking Doritos, pretzels...


Celestial Follower wrote:

<Infernal cop car pops in>

Wee-ooo! Wee-ooo! Wee-ooo!

{Climbs down off hood, still shaking} Note to self: No more psychedelic mushrooms. Ever. {pukes over in the corner}


Celestial Follower wrote:

<Infernal cop car pops in>

Wee-ooo! Wee-ooo! Wee-ooo!

<Tentacles grab random patrons>

Hooray! We're back! That side trip to Ry'leh, North Carolina was pretty rough.

I managed to get some snacks!

<Opens the trunk and reaches into an impossibly-large maw>

These cop cars sure do have a lot of trunk space. Here's some pizza rolls, margarita mix, 300 bottles of liquor...I've been told to try the King in Yellow Tequila, nachos, Red Baron pizzas, all kinds of different Doritos...including Spicy Soul Sucking Doritos, pretzels...

yummm...Spicy Soul Sucking Doritos, my favorite. Err..I mean I should try them...for the 1st time. Ever.


Celestial Follower wrote:

<Infernal cop car pops in>

Wee-ooo! Wee-ooo! Wee-ooo!

<Tentacles grab random patrons>

Hooray! We're back! That side trip to Ry'leh, North Carolina was pretty rough.

I managed to get some snacks!

<Opens the trunk and reaches into an impossibly-large maw>

These cop cars sure do have a lot of trunk space. Here's some pizza rolls, margarita mix, 300 bottles of liquor...I've been told to try the King in Yellow Tequila, nachos, Red Baron pizzas, all kinds of different Doritos...including Spicy Soul Sucking Doritos, pretzels...

"Oh nice, you have brought back lots of crisps that need to be dunked in red gooey liquid, how outer-planar. And most importantly liquor, groovy.!"


DSXMachina wrote:
"Oh nice, you have brought back lots of crisps that need to be dunked in red gooey liquid, how outer-planar. And most importantly liquor, groovy.!"

Hmmm. Celestial Healer, can use your celestial sight on this 'un? Ah think we mites haf oursels ah hippeh furriner hayr!!!


Dr. Jan Jansen III, Turnip King wrote:
DSXMachina wrote:
"Oh nice, you have brought back lots of crisps that need to be dunked in red gooey liquid, how outer-planar. And most importantly liquor, groovy.!"
Hmmm. Celestial Healer, can use your celestial sight on this 'un? Ah think we mites haf oursels ah hippeh furriner hayr!!!

"No dear doctor, i am quite familiar with the celestial realms, but of course i am not from the colonies like some. Your name indicates germanic decent?"


DSXMachina wrote:
No dear doctor, i am quite familiar with the ceelestial realms, but of course i am not from the colonies like some. Your name indicates germanic decent?"

{grumbles} Hippehs is well known ta be up ahn da fancy book-lernin. Ah aints convinced.

"Germanic?" Nope, from Athkatla, in Amn. I'd just hopped a Gate from Toril to Sigil, when I spotted Celestial Follower buying a couple crates of turnips. My pappy always told me to trust a man that knows how to buy a good turnip, so I followed him here.

Or at least, that's how I remember it. I can't guarantee anything... other than I haven't been sober in over 7 years.


"Good job, dear chap on that lack of sobriety very commmendable. Would you happen to help me get in such an inerbriated state?"

*passes over a beer*

"Bottoms up."

*takes a long draft on his bottle*


I'll drink to that!

Evil Monkey throws down another scotch


DSXMachina wrote:
"Good job, dear chap on that lack of sobriety very commmendable. Would you happen to help me get in such an inerbriated state?"

Here you go- {passes over walnut-sized lump of an unknown substance with over a dozen different types of pills mashed into it's surface} you should like it. It's 'Tussin-flavored too.

DSXMachina wrote:

*passes over a beer*

"Bottoms up."

{empties beer into mug, then drops a shot glass of Ol' Janx Spirit into it} Yummy! {slams it down}


*examines the strange pill ball*

"Multi-coloured, interesting"

*swallows pill, takes a pull of his ale, and with a florid bow*

"Any of you ladies want to dance?"

Silver Crusade

Mmm, pizza rolls!


"Just realised it's been awhile since i've had any fruit or veg., is there any here? well apart from this pommie/limey/old fruit"

"Oh yes the turnips. Any still about?"


DSXMachina wrote:

"Just realised it's been awhile since i've had any fruit or veg., is there any here? well apart from this pommie/limey/old fruit"

"Oh yes the turnips. Any still about?"

It's weird, the pit *cough* balors really liked the turnips, so we're all out.

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