*tries to turn Puddle*

Hime cahotik neuter!

*casts Dictum*

SR Check: 1d20 + 20 ⇒ (7) + 20 = 27 vs SR 24

*seizes*

*casts Dictum*

{rolls for Will save: 1d20 ⇒ 8} Must... make... Rule 34...

{casts silence} Hush, you.

...

[dice=SR Check]1d20+20 vs SR 24

*seizes*

The Power of Bacon COMPELS YOU!!! {headbutts Nurn, infusing him with the power of deus ex baconma}

Why did my Manilow record stop playing?

<Hums "Looks Like We Made It" while walking over to the record player>

Gentleman Nurn wrote:

1d20+20 vs SR 24

*seizes*

The Power of Bacon COMPELS YOU!!! {headbutts Nurn, infusing him with the power of deus ex baconma}

Will Save: 1d20 + 20 ⇒ (12) + 20 = 32

*recovers*

*reverts to Slaad form*

*Claw Claw Bite*

*returns to humanoid form*

It does, yeeesssss. Delicious.

Sorry, Nurn... I keep forgetting we have so many chaotic visitors.

We've got the music (thanks CF), now we just need the food! Somebody turn that pig into bacon!

<Casts pig to bacon>

Wait!- {1d20 - 18 ⇒ (2) - 18 = -16: fails save, polymorphs into an abbondanza of smoked bacon, ribs, and sausages}

That'll do pig, that'll do. {noms on fresh bacon}

This bacon would be perfect with some fried eggs.

CF, could you check next door at the Slaad thread and see if they have any eggs to lend? I don't feel like going to the store.

I've a few to spare, save yourself the trip *toss*

I wonder how delicious a pig and butterfrog mix would be? {noms a forkful of fried calamari

Bacon is an unclean meat.

Pull out his flaming sword of Law +05 and cooks some bacon

Here we are. It's clean now.

*fries the Slaad eggs*

Are these safe to eat over easy?

They might still be a little wriggly but should be, yeeessss.

No! Go scrambled.

Scrambled?

Sounds like my insides after the last time CF made Hot Pockets.

That's a property of Hot Pockets, it doesn't matter who makes them....

That's true, but the Hot Extradimensional Pockets are even worse.

{peeks out from behind couch} Is that creepy guy still hanging around outside? He must be a friend or relative of our creepy neighbor.

*peeks in the window*

Hey, it's my cousin (non-celestial side)! Come on in, Ferd!

Oils and buffs his armor, repeats when needed...

From outside the window...

I'm not wearing any pants. Is that a problem?

Here, I'll get you one of the boss's robes.

From outside the window...

I'm not wearing any pants. Is that a problem?

{rummages through drawer for a grapefruit spoon} Yep, don't want eyes anymore...

From outside the window...

I'm not wearing any pants. Is that a problem?

Buffon! Put some trousers on before I sever your wobblies!

Here's the robe! Don't mind the bloodstains, they're murder to get out.

Heh...heh...heh?

Here's the robe! Don't mind the bloodstains, they're murder to get out.

Heh...heh...heh?

If you think that's bad you should see mine.

The suit however is magically tailored to prestidigitate itself any time I'm splattered, yeeessss.

when it comes to stain cleaning, paladins do it better.

SAY I WRONG! I DARE YOU!

Thanks! This is comfy!

*strides in with robe untied*

This used to be such an exclusive thread...

It's like you always say, boss: when you start letting paladins in, you might as well let all the riffraff in.

It's like you always say, boss: when you start letting paladins in, you might as well let all the riffraff in.

Wait, they're cloning Riff Raff?! When did this start?

It was a side project of mine. I started with squirrels.

{ponders mashup of Squirrel Girl and Riff Raff} OK, I know it's not noon yet, but I need a drink... my brain cells must be punished!

*starts licking the Doritos*

*starts drinking the sacramental whine*

Where did that alter boy go..?

Cousin Ferd, why are you licking the tridrones?!

I'm sorry about that, guys, he's not from around here.

The question you should be asking is whether they like it.

They're machines, they don't like anything, nnnooooo.

I think all the slobber will make them malfunction.

Unit D0R1T0 preparing to fire flavor lasers...

*readies laser reflecting body shield in case of accidental misfire*

CF?! A robot?!

Once again you have outdone yourself. I hope this one does not pursue the antics that last one did, though.

Firing flavor lasers...