The Thread Celestial


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I like Stabby and Whippy. Best friends I ever had.

Silver Crusade

This thread needs more bacon.


Um, someone asked me to come by?


*springs trap*


Hey, watch it! That costs money!


*springs second trap*

Silver Crusade

Mmmmmm.

Bacon.


Reflex: 1d20 + 18 ⇒ (19) + 18 = 37
*Evades trap*

All I wanted was some truffles!

Silver Crusade

SMITE!
SMITE!
SMITE!

Bacon is on the menu!!!


Reflex Save: 1d20 + 20 + 10 ⇒ (19) + 20 + 10 = 49

I see my insurance modifier pull me through.


Power Word: Blind.


<POOF!> Baa-ram-ewe... wait, how did I get here?


So are we just porting them in wholesale now?


*Bamf*

<Drops off a few more pigs>

*Bamf*


{looks around at porcine abundance} Has anyone seen Wilbur? He borrowed $50 for "child support for a hundred baby spiders", or so he claims... Personally, I think he dug up some magic "truffles" again.


You're stealing June Cleaver's pigs. better put them back where you found them before she shows up for a visit and who-knows-what-else.


You fool! You spoke the name of the beast! That'll summon her!

*retreats to his desk in the pit*


<Gets out mop and Xtra-Dooty™ sanitizer>


Poof!

I told you Ward, a real man would let me put it in his...

*looks around*

Oh... Where is this place that I find myself?

Hey! What are you doing with those pigs?! I need them for... pig purposes...


LoL! I'm such a snitch.


I always thought you were more of a bludger.


June Cleaver wrote:

Poof!

I told you Ward, a real man would let me put it in his...

OH SWEET UNMERCIFUL DEMOGORGON MY EYES WILL NEVER HEAL

I'M A GODS-DAMNED SLAAD FROM THE ABYSS AND I'VE STILL NOT SEEN SUCH HORRORS


She's kinda cute...


Celestial Follower wrote:
She's kinda cute...

I like you. Let's do something kinky like change each other's colostomy bags.

Silver Crusade

What the f!~@...

Didn't we used to have a bouncer?


June Cleaver wrote:
Celestial Follower wrote:
She's kinda cute...
I like you. Let's do something kinky like change each other's colostomy bags.

I don't have a colostomy bag, but I'd be willing to get one.


Celestial Healer wrote:

What the f+$!...

Didn't we used to have a bouncer?

Give me some beer and I'm all yours. That didn't come out quite right, did it?


Celestial Healer wrote:

What the f&+#...

Didn't we used to have a bouncer?

The demon we invited over for wine and cheese ate him. If I remember correctly, he complimented us on our "unusual blood cheese".


*raises his gaze and use his detect evil paladin ability on June Cleaver. He flinches and staggers back...*

Lords of Justice! You're aura! Jeezus! The pain in my head..., Where's that flask of 90 proof vodka..?"


The_Paladin_of_Nevada wrote:

*raises his gaze and use his detect evil paladin ability on June Cleaver. He flinches and staggers back...*

Lords of Justice! You're aura! Jeezus! The pain in my head..., Where's that flask of 90 proof vodka..?"

I have some Lemorian Rotgut in my desk, best I can offer. It even really rots your gut. Though being a paladin that won't be as much an issue for you, what with the disease immunity and all...

I'll get the shot glasses, yeeesssss.

Silver Crusade

Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Celestial Healer wrote:

What the f+$!...

Didn't we used to have a bouncer?

Give me some beer and I'm all yours. That didn't come out quite right, did it?

Sounded all right to me...


Gentleman Nurn wrote:
The_Paladin_of_Nevada wrote:

*raises his gaze and use his detect evil paladin ability on June Cleaver. He flinches and staggers back...*

Lords of Justice! You're aura! Jeezus! The pain in my head..., Where's that flask of 90 proof vodka..?"

I have some Lemorian Rotgut in my desk, best I can offer. It even really rots your gut. Though being a paladin that won't be as much an issue for you, what with the disease immunity and all...

I'll get the shot glasses, yeeesssss.

I hope so. I'd hate to see how this stuff comes the proverbial back door.

*swallows a shot*


Bran muffin?

Silver Crusade

Now it's a party!


*dances convulsively on top of a piano*


Wooooo! Shake it, baby!


*shakes her proboscis*


Are you sure this is a celestial thread? Something seems...off...here.


*plucks out his eyeballs*

*drops them in the shotglass*

*fills shotglass*

*drinks*

*shakes head vigorously*

*eyes pop back into place*

That's a little better. Amazing what a good shot will do for scarred vision, yeeessss.

Now I just have to make sure not to turn around and look toward the piano, nnnooooo.


Now I know why!!!!


Wow, haven't seen a St. Vitas Dance like that since Kevin Bacon got into the moonshine Microwave brewed in the radiator on the back porch.


Can't Get the Red Out wrote:

Now I know why!!!!

*fades in silently*

For red eyes, try Clear Eyes. It removes redness and has ingredients that moisturize. Wooooooow.

*fades out*


Anyone else want a bran muffin?


Celestial Follower wrote:

Anyone else want a bran muffin?

Last time I had one, it didn't turn out well.


It's not like you started Armageddon or anything.


*follows another shot of Vodka-mixed Holy Water*

I'm gonna call that the Holy Moses.

*swallows another shot*


Hmm, I'll take a shot of that.


*Makes Gentlemen Nurn a Holy Moses and slides the shot glass across thetable. Makes one for June Cleaver too*

Silver Crusade

Won't that burn you, Gentleman Nurn?


*takes a shot of holy water*

*vomits a slain mohrg*

Mmm. Spicy.

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