Yay! That will give me time to do other things.

Where did everybody go?

I'm here. I just going through some quiet times.

Oh good. I thought I left the back gate open to Abaddon. Again.

You did but I did my knightly deed and closed it for you.

The demons got in anyway. They are cavorting in the bathtub.

Good. Keep them there. Use cold water if needed. I'm off to the Hot Tub were several celestial virgins await.

That reminds me...

They are no longer virgins after that visit from the Black Goat With a Thousand Young. He gets around.

<Turns back from the hot tub>

:::Sigh::: Not. that. hot. tub. I'm going to the hot tub protected by the elder sign.

Ooooh, is that the thing I bleached off the other hot tub?

In my defense, the boss told me to do it.

I figured as much. :)

Who used up all my special unholy bleach? That stuff's hard to find. I was going to feed it to a troublesome celestial who blindly follows the dubious orders of another troublesome celestial. Who I was going to subtly shove through the gates of Abaddon, but somebody sealed it.
I was so close to making this place resemble a good-aligned plane....

*shifty eyes*

*resumes burying self in paperwork*

Hi, Angel Fish! Long time, no see.

I didn't just use the bleach for scrubbing out Elder Signs. I also used it as a glaze for my lemon cake. It's a good thing.

Hey, when did you make lemon cake?

A couple of pages ago. I think.

AUGH! It's a KOBOLD! Where's the bug spray!

Here, use this leftover unholy bleach!

No, save it... we're out of vermouth and unholy bleach is a good substitute in martinis.

{rolls up newspaper and attempts to smack possibly hallucinatory kobold}

Oooooh, I just remembered I have mustard gas. Note: It does not taste much like mustard.

Why can't we be friends?

Dons gas mask rather quickly

See, kobolds look like dogs, and dogs are short for "hot dogs", and the best way to deal with hot dogs is with mustard. Bam! Unassailable logic.

See, kobolds look like dogs, and dogs are short for "hot dogs", and the best way to deal with hot dogs is with mustard. Bam! Unassailable logic.

{uses rolled-up newspaper and attempts to smack possibly hallucinatory Emeril}

Celestial Follower wrote:

See, kobolds look like dogs, and dogs are short for "hot dogs", and the best way to deal with hot dogs is with mustard. Bam! Unassailable logic.

{uses rolled-up newspaper and attempts to smack possibly hallucinatory Emeril}

I can call in Guy Fieri to chase him out, if you like. The Witch owes me a favor, yeeessss.

Meh. All these celebrity chefs can only improve our miserable party fare.

And when they are done, they shall be an unholy sacrifice to the Elder Gods! It's a win-win!

That reminds me, the cable guy was by yesterday and installed the new Shub-Nielsens box.

What is it with Angel Fish and me accidentally posting as my default alias? I swear, it's happened more just with him than all my other aliases combined.

Slice of lemon cake, Mme. Kobold?

Just don't sit in the hot tub with the Black Goat with a Thousand Young. You'll never know what you'll get.

I got a Thousand Fleas!

{looks in trick-or-treat bag} I got a rock. {floats out to the mailbox to check for a letter from the Little Red-Haired Girl}

I received a stone as well, yeeesssss. It fell from the sky a few million years back. All red and spiked and making the most intriguing screeeeeeeaaaaaaeeeeeeoooooooonk sound.

It seemed to like burrowing so I left it in an island terrarium deep underground. I should probably go check on it, I'm certain it's grown, yeeessss.

I got a Thousand Fleas!

Clean thyself one of the celestial congregation with this. I have them in matching pair if your wife desires one as well.

I got a Thousand Fleas!

Where are you going to put them all? Do you promise to walk them and feed them every day? And make sure they wear more than one sock!

That collar does look fetching.

Now the fleas are going after that kobold. I guess he can take care of them.

You can give it to him you know.

Before he puts on the collar, you'd both better agree on a safeword first.

GnXrCHt

Right. Is bloodsucker a good word?

Who let lawyers in here?!! I know I didn't!

I didn't know mosquitoes practiced law.

Infernal mosquitoes do.

:::Swings his holy sword maddly at the air:::

*ducks under his desk*

I have change shape! I don't need a haircut!

Careful where you swing that thing! The balrogs tend to flinch easily.

And then they get all stabby and whippy.