What the Hell??!??!

No that makes it worse. Candy corn are more evil than demons (but not as evil as circus peanuts).

Fortunately, circus peanuts are subject to Banishment spells.

<Hides Circus Peanut Quiche>

<Hides Circus Peanut Quiche>

Where did I leave my slippers?

*looks under the radiator*

*finds circus peanut quiche*

Mmmm! Pumpkin pie!

OMM NOM NOM

Bad dog. Don't eat the pie.

eatin slippers.

Are those my winged sandals?

nope. I ate your Mexican pointy boots.

Well, no more being kicked in the

Ask for another pair for Murdermas, boss.

Well, no more being kicked in the

Ask for another pair for Murdermas, boss.

Ooh, that's coming up, isn't it?

I can't wait to decorate the tree. I strung up a garland of appendages.

<BEEEEEEEP!> {opens oven and removes cookie sheet of wood-based hors d'oeuvres with various toppings} Hmmmm, these don't look right... I'm not sure that recipe was actually by Paula Deen. I don't understand; I used a pound of butter like it called for.

{squints at LCD screen} Oh. It's by Paula Beam, famous(?!) termite chef. Still, it has to be better than circus peanuts. {starts gnawing on teak "pizza bite"}

Sounds better than the last hors d'oeuvres we had.

At least I'm getting my fiber. {noms on pig-in-a-cedar-shingle-blanket"}

You better brush after you eat and make those pearly whites bright and shiny.

You better brush after you eat and make those pearly whites bright and shiny.

{sobs} I only have a beak! I have no teeth! WAAAAAAH! {sobs more, pours a Long Island Celestial Tea to drown sorrows}

Sunny Godhead wrote:

You better brush after you eat and make those pearly whites bright and shiny.

{sobs} I only have a beak! I have no teeth! WAAAAAAH! {sobs more, pours a Long Island Celestial Tea to drown sorrows}

Sorry about that.

Pours CT his trademarked Sunny G. A celestial orange juice/vodka favored beverage

Hear you go.

You're a much better bartender than Celestial Follower.

I'm still trying to get the taste of NyQuil out of my mouth from the last drink he made me.

You're a much better bartender than Celestial Follower.

I'm still trying to get the taste of NyQuil out of my mouth from the last drink he made me.

Wow! NyQuil, but I only do one or two solid beverages.

You're a much better bartender than Celestial Follower.

I'm still trying to get the taste of NyQuil out of my mouth from the last drink he made me.

I can't help it if it was next to the blackberry brandy!

Celestial Healer wrote:

You're a much better bartender than Celestial Follower.

I'm still trying to get the taste of NyQuil out of my mouth from the last drink he made me.

I can't help it if it was next to the blackberry brandy!

It was your idea to store the blackberry brandy in the medicine cabinet!

Celestial Healer wrote:

Celestial Thaumoctopus wrote:

Celestial Healer wrote:

CF, I hope you are preparing our thread for the appropriate holiday festivities.

The slaadi shipped over a couple gallons of fresh eggnog. I'm stringing up popcorn shrimp for garland.

That's good, that's good.

Who's preparing the sacrifices?

I told you, NO SACRIFICES this year!

What about this year?

*sharpens ritual sacrificing blade*

I've got the spider goats!

Merry Christmas, spider goats! I guess you won't be sacrificed, after all.

I have too much good cheer for sacrifices.

So, boss, are you responsible for the results of the past weekend's NFL games?

Absolutely. I'm a big fan of the Necromantic Figureskating League. The ghouls were overdue for a victory.

That's what you were talking about, right?

Absolutely. I liked the part where Zombie Brian Boitano got his head sheared off by a skate.

Oooo, I just heard a rumor that the next editi-, er, offensive in the Blood War will be launching soon. Hopefully it won't effect supplies of snacks or alcoholic beverages.

These magic triangles help me ignore the Blood War. That gives me more time to watch my Stories.

I don't know. The last Blood War made it difficult for me to summon demons. Something about how they got injured in a fight over which side was more video gamey.

I'm pretty sure demons are: they crash all the time, they consume all your resources, and they really don't have much of a plot.

{microwaves some more nachos}

Boooooosssssss!! We need to smite more paladins! They're getting out of hand.

Ooooooh nachos....

Can we smite paladins now?

I thought so. Didn't you destroy Paladinton single-handedly?

Yes, but I had eaten at a Del Taco.

You'd think paladins would know better...

Hey, boss, can we let couatls back in here? I know you had that "snakes on a plane" rule at one time...

As long as they promise not to be so stuffy. Last time they got in the way of the human sacrifices.

{shivers, hugs stuffed Paladinton Bear} A snake, a snake snake, snake, oo-oooo it's a snake?

<whirrrrr> It's a good thing momma was a replicator... <DING!> Club Sandwich and truffle-oil Galt fries are done.

That's a greatclub between two slices of white bread. Couldn't you at least put some mayo on it?

Judgement hour will be upon us soon! Have a nice day!

So how shall we celebrate? Sacrifices and hors d'oeuvres?

I did toast a bunch of boysenberry Pop Tarts TM. That should count as hors d'oeuvres.

Make something tasty, CF. I want to impress the phasic ravager who is coming for dinner.

Thanks for the invite, Celestial Healer. I'm famished, and I've got to say that your microwave looks positively delicious.

CF! Make our guest a snack!

But...but...he's...the...but...microwave...

<Spreads mayonnaise on the microwave>

Bon Apetit!