Your failure at archery was to be expected. As a human you could not really have hoped for more. I assure you it is not your fault but rather the result of a long line of human ancestry.
I would recommend you undertake a career in something that requires less actual skill and physical prowess. Perhaps something pertaining to small fuzzy animals...animal husbandry perhaps. Or working with dirt.
CJ channeling
Kalidor
Elf Archer
I am much better than you.
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Your failure at archery was to be expected. As a human you could not really have hoped for more. I assure you it is not your fault but rather the result of a long line of human ancestry.
I would recommend you undertake a career in something that requires less actual skill and physical prowess. Perhaps something pertaining to small fuzzy animals...animal husbandry perhaps. Or working with dirt.
CJ channeling
Kalidor
Elf Archer
I am much better than you.
I still say there was nothing in the rules saying I just couldn't walk over to the target and put the dart in it!
Stot of the Sands, Trade Prince of Qadira
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What is that? You wish to know how an Ulfen barbarian became an Overduchess of Taldor? Sit down, have a drink, and hear my tale of glory!
It all began at the Grand Convocation of the Pathfinder Society. I had only just arrived from the home of my mother, in the Land of the Linnorm Kings. My father is Taldan, you see, and I desired to prove to him my worth as a daughter. So I immediately sought out Baron Jacquo Dalsine to pledge my loyalty and ask how I could best serve Taldor.
Receiving my orders, I set out with one Lady Charlotte to plan our attack on the Andoran fortress. On our way, we met with Father Kinterkoff, a right rowdy priest of Cayden Cailean. Or so he said – it was only much later that he confided that he might have made that all up! Regardless, he certainly enjoys the ale so prized by Cayden, and that’s good enough for me.
After impressing the Father with our boasts, Charlotte and I continued to Andoran. Spying a unique opportunity, we stormed their fortress and proclaimed the glory of Taldor from the highest tower! Sadly, Charlotte forgot that rogues were supposed to steal jewels from castles instead of leave her own jewels behind, so the shame of Andoran was not as complete as it should have been. Still, the fruits of our endeavor were sweet, as Baron Jacquo granted us each titles of nobility. So I became the Lady Montcastle, and I had only just begun.
Before I could build upon my newly acquired status, the Pathfinder Society called the Lady Charlotte and me to duty, and we earned even more glory and fame – and gold – by guiding a caravan of relics safely through an ambush in the mountains. The fools did not even have a chance to flinch before falling before my rage. If the mission had not been so crucial, I would have given them a sporting chance and used my rapier instead.
We barely arrived in Absalom to report our success and obtain our reward when the Society required our skills once more. To my great joy and interest another Taldan, the Lady Amethyst, allied with us to recover items pilfered from the Grand Lodge. It was a grand night for Taldor, indeed.
It was after these events that I managed to strike a deal with the Sapphire Sage, Amenopheus. As I should have expected, the dishonorable Osirion did not fulfill his end of the bargain! So I waited until he abandoned his post. Soon opportunity arose once more – had he not heard of the assault on Andoran? Taldor’s glory was furthered in the heart of Osirion!
Yet my greatest achievement for my adopted land truly lies with the shame I would next bring upon Cheliax, for I used Aldoran to reach my goal! After arranging a bargain with the Paracountess Zarta Dralneen and her wily imp, I convinced Captain Colson Maldris that I had -- in a moment of weakness -- struck a bargain with Cheliax and changed allegiance in order to spite my Taldan father. To arrange for my soul’s freedom, he came with me before the Paracountess. A part of me regrets abusing such an honorable man, but I am sure no lasting harm will come to him of it.
My contract was already half-fulfilled, yet I feared my ruse would fail when the Captain did not sign his own name on the contract. That other part of me was relieved, for I do not like to think what would have happened to him if he signed away his soul to the devil tricksters. With every ounce of luck and skill I possessed, including some of the tricks I learned from my old friend Father Kinterkoff, I convinced the Paracountess that the insulting scrawl was in fact the Captain’s proper signature. The stubborn imp did not believe me, but his mistress conceded she was impressed with my manipulation. In a bid to win me to her side, she promised to fulfill her end of our bargain despite not earning a soul. Her reputation could not be sullied, of course, so she departed to allow the imp to give me my promised two words: “TALDOR FOREVER!!”
And that, good sir, is how I became the Lady Scatha Montcastle, Overduchess.
Thanks again for being such great sports, everyone! The Convocation was ridiculously fun!