The Slaad Thread


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What's all this about cheerleaders? I normally have them do synchronized swimming in chocolate syrup while throwing fruit at the spectators.

Dronf!


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Cole Slaad wrote:
All hail Onceifer...Ziggysockiziggysocki...oi oi oi

I swear I wasn't drinking Onceifer! Ok, maybe I was. Like a little. Did I say a little because I actually drank quite a bit. Ok, it was more like a lot. A whole lot. Like I can't believe I'm standing.

*passes out*


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Macaroni Slaad wrote:
Cole Slaad wrote:
All hail Onceifer...Ziggysockiziggysocki...oi oi oi

I swear I wasn't drinking Onceifer! Ok, maybe I was. Like a little. Did I say a little because I actually drank quite a bit. Ok, it was more like a lot. A whole lot. Like I can't believe I'm standing.

*passes out*

Thirteen seconds. Not a record, but not bad, yeeeesssss.


I was not bad once......


I was the very model of a modern major general.


I've tried making models of modern major generals but the instructions always have some unclear illustrations on how critical parts go together. And then I get bits of glue all over everything, and the paint gets gloopy-runny, and the decals won't go in the right spots, and then the glue fumes make me loopy.


I must have been doing it wrong. I thought one was supposed to try to get a women's fashion model to be a major general. They usually look fantastic in (and especially out) of uniform but more often than not can't fight worth a darn.


Ceaser Slaad wrote:
I must have been doing it wrong. I thought one was supposed to try to get a women's fashion model to be a major general. They usually look fantastic in (and especially out) of uniform but more often than not can't fight worth a darn.

Are you sure, because I've seen some pretty fierce hair pulling backstage.


Mater Slaad wrote:
Ceaser Slaad wrote:
I must have been doing it wrong. I thought one was supposed to try to get a women's fashion model to be a major general. They usually look fantastic in (and especially out) of uniform but more often than not can't fight worth a darn.
Are you sure, because I've seen some pretty fierce hair pulling backstage.

It's one thing for fashion models to beat up on each other, it's another to engage trained troops in combat. Unfortunately real major generals aren't always selected for their ability to do that either.


Ceaser Slaad wrote:
Mater Slaad wrote:
Ceaser Slaad wrote:
I must have been doing it wrong. I thought one was supposed to try to get a women's fashion model to be a major general. They usually look fantastic in (and especially out) of uniform but more often than not can't fight worth a darn.
Are you sure, because I've seen some pretty fierce hair pulling backstage.
It's one thing for fashion models to beat up on each other, it's another to engage trained troops in combat. Unfortunately real major generals aren't always selected for their ability to do that either.

But think of what the models could teach the troops. How to accessorize their uniforms. New ways of walking down the street while on patrol (think of the bouncy, flouncy, way that models strut on the catwalk, and then picture an entire platoon of soldiers marching that way). Obviously, hand-to-hand combat would consist mostly of hair pulling, with some face scratching. And just imagine how much money we could save on rations! Why, one MRE could feed a whole squad for a week!


I was flouncy once......

It was a the other day......


*purrs*


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That'll do pig, that'll do.


It's neither a rabbit nor a pig. Therefore it must be a pterodactyl!

Dronf!


It's like having a liscence plate to the face.


That rabbit stole my face! Stop him!


It's like rainiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing on your egging day!


It's like trudging your way through a blizzard to get to the global warming conference.


Its like needing a florg but only finding wheezits.


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It's like licking a linked lock lacking lucky Lurks looking at Loki's larks.


Pudding?

Lantern Lodge

I remember listening to Elvis once, when lo and behold sitting next to me was a canned ham. Not spam mind you but a real ham in a can.


Ironic.


Bleu Cheese!

Dronf!


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"Here's the problem, Doctor. I grew a pair of gills for the Feast of St Herbert the Filthy; I made them up! It was only a hint of blusher, but I can't get them out of the William F. Buckley, and every time I think of a Citroen Berlingo filled with second-hand wigs, the other guys in the band start straining lentil soup through my underpandas while I'm still trying to get them to breed! It's drying my nuts, but it's sooo Blibdoolpoolp!"

"Ja, ja. Der trouble is, I am sinking, zhet you are a member of Oreo Slaadwagon and hence an incurable twitt, but:

AH'M GURNA KEEP ON EGGING YOOOOO
CUZ IT'S THE ONLEH THING AH WURNA DOOOOO
AH DURNWANA SLEEEEP
AH JURST WURNA KEEP ON EGGIN' YOOOOO"


At least he's not doing the Time Warp.

Dronf!


I would like to restress the importance of retrieving my face. Get on it, everyone!

*sits down to bingewatch gilligan's maelstrom*


The good news is I found it.

The bad news is that Cthulhu is using it for a codpiece.

Dronf!


Ah damn, it'll take months to get the tentacles out.


I always thought Dirk Benedict could've used a few more tentacles in him.


Is Dirk Benedict, like, a poached dagger covered in Hollandaise sauce?


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Yes, and it's always served with a piping-hot Starbucks coffee thrown in the Face.


Starbucks...why that's our word of the day...begins flurrying eggs


Are we all being filmed driving across God's Country in a surprising affordable American-built luxury car... or is it just me?


The word of the day is "ngoasdnoaierhgna;rejore$#@%^fadsohoiaepirh"


The word of the day is apathy. This thread has gone for a week without a single post. You slaads need to hang your heads in shame for insufficiently spreading chaos. Wimps, all of you! :-)

Dronf!


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I think each and everyone of us is our own Slaadi Chaosseed, spreading the seeds of Chaos wherever we Walkabout.

Sometimes the seed fails, like my attempt to derail the Daredevil thread into a discussion about the Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends cartoon. Sometimes it blooms wonderfully, as it did in the "Ask Crystal Fraiser" thread, which is now predominantly about pizza toppings and alignment discussion.

.


I'm on vacation. Anyone want souvenirs?


Any blueberry flavored sladdi?


I've been feeling rather down. Hope it passes soon. I've got a picnic to be at this weekend.


Gentleman Nurn wrote:
I'm on vacation. Anyone want souvenirs?

A scale model of the London eye and a foo lion statue.


A box of Shake'N'Bake raised by hamsters and educated by proxy slugs.


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Bah! In my day, food coatings were raised by dust weasels from behind the fridge and educated by wooden nickels... in the vacuum of space and up Jonah Hill--both ways! And they were ambivalent about it!


What's wrong with Febreze? Has anyone been kind enough to sit down and have a friendly chat with it about how it's feeling?

And I would like a box of Shakur and Bakker, please. The spine tingling taste of rapper and disgraced televangelist combined in one great value okapi. Yum yum yuuuummmm


I am still trying to figure out what this strange concept of "week" is.


I'll just settle for a tart.

Dronf!


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*2d4 ⇒ (2, 1) = 3 Slaadlings have gotten their heads stuck in 1d6 ⇒ 3 potato chip bags*

Yummm...the air tastes like sour cream and onions. But we're scared of the dark!!


Poor little slaadlings. Let me give you some Tabasco.


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Set the bags on fire. They will have light for the rest of their lives.

Dronf!


Giflmaniup palemkeng jifgatca do brinomu`

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