26 Paper Street


Round 4: Design a villain's lair

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RPG Superstar 2009 Top 4 aka K. B. Carter

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26 Paper Street
Don’t go in there!

The PCs have been on the run from the city guards ever since Bracht the Flesh Peddler managed to capture and “replace” the local magistrate with a planted spy (Vissivio, male, doggleganger, rogue 5th). After rigorous detective work, the PCs have tracked the kidnapped magistrate to 26 Paper Street, a condemned house serving as the Flesh Peddler’s current base of operations.

To stop the Flesh Peddler, the PCs must venture into 26 Paper Street and rescue the magistrate, who is the only individual that can clear the false accusations levied against them.

This module is designed for four 7th-level characters.

Dungeon Features: Rising through the Flesh Peddler’s lair is a colossal aberrant growth known as the Arm of Ohnishamotan. This giant tentacle-like tumor originates from somewhere deep in the sewers of Katapesh and has since punctured the basement of 26 Paper Street and grown upwards through several levels of the house. The Arm of Ohnishamotan has the following characteristics:

• Its surface is a twisted mass of unrecognizable flesh that radiates evil and alteration magic.
• If damaged, it rapidly regenerates. It cannot move (save for the situation described below) and it is essentially a solid wall of flesh.
• If Bracht is killed, the Arm of Ohnishamotan emits a rumbling wail and slowly falls into the sewers of Katapesh over the course of the next 12 rounds. During this time, the house shakes violently and anyone inside not flying or levitating must make a DC 15 Balance check each round to avoid being knocked prone by the vibrations. At the end of the 12 rounds, the house utterly collapses, triggering the effects of an earthquake spell throughout the entire structure. From the wreckage, the blood of Ohnishamotan bubbles and roils, pooling into a black pudding that begins to terrorize the neighborhood.

Black Pudding CR 7
115 hp (MM 201)

Unless otherwise stated, assume the rooms of 26 Paper Street are 15-feet tall and are dimly lit. Also, assume all doors are strong wooden doors (Hardness 5, 20hp, Break DC 23) and are locked with average locks (Open Locks DC 25). All windows have been boarded up with enough wood to give them the statistics of a strong wooden door.

1. Exterior
A crude sign reads “CONDEMED: DO NOT ENTER” and hangs over the door of this dilapidated three-story building. The windows are boarded up and deep weeds have overtaken the small garden out front.

Any PC listening at the door hears the sporadic creaking of floorboards within (as the ramshackle house settles around the intruding bulk of the Arm of Ohnishamotan).

2. Ground Floor
A foul stench permeates the building and the gloom clinging to these rooms seems to swirl about as if alive. There is definitely something wrong here.

Assuming the PCs enter via the front door, they cannot initially see the Arm of Ohnishamotan as their line of sight is blocked by the staircase. Instead, they can make out a few flickering candles in the library (area 2A).

2A. Library
Haphazard piles of books totter throughout this damp room which is strewn with many heavily-annotated parchments and diagrams. A few ghostly candles flicker in the gloom.

Anyone who spends more than a minute reviewing the notes or texts learns that the pillar of flesh running through this house is in fact the Arm of Ohnishamotan, a cancerous growth from another plane of existence. The reader must then make a DC 15 Will save or become shaken for the next hour.

The candles are minor versions of everburning torches.

2B. Arm
A horrific pillar of twisted flesh rises from a jagged hole in the floorboards and extends upwards past the staircase and through a similar hole in the ceiling.

This is the Arm of Ohnishamotan where it protrudes from the basement below.

2C. Laboratory
A partially-dissected ogre lies in a fleshy heap across a large table. The shelves lining the surrounding walls are cluttered with jars of pickled eyeballs, preserved animals and strange bits of organic matter.

The ogre is long dead. If anyone investigates the jars on the shelves, a live lamprey specimen suddenly lashes out, causing its jar to fall and shatter across the floor. The lamprey dies on impact, but the DM should have the PCs roll for initiative anyway (to potentially trick them into wasting precious spells and abilities).

2D. Pantry (CR 5)
The shelves of this pantry have been stocked with organs, bones and cured skins. A large metal icebox rests against the northern wall.

Several of the organs have gentle repose cast upon them and therefore radiate magic. The icebox is latched shut with an iron bolt and anyone approaching it hears muffled voices from within.

Creatures: The icebox contains a captured Gibbering Mouther.
Gibbering Mouther CR 5
hp 42 (MM 126)

3. Landing (CR 8)
Streaks of blood are smeared across the walls of this rubble-strewn area. It appears that a room once existed above, but the upper stairway and adjoining landing have since caved in. Now, only a massive pillar of flesh stretches upward into the high rafters.

This is where Bracht disposes of “inferior” graft donors. Anyone studying the blood streaks notices that they converge towards the rafters in the tower 30 feet above.

Creatures: Up in the rafters, Bracht has grafted several tentacles and the maw of a juvenile brass dragon onto the Arm of Ohnishamotan.
Grafted Tentacles (4) CR 7
30 hp each (MM 20) Each of these tentacles have the attributes of an assassin vine except with Type aberration, Reach 60 feet, and they lack the entangle supernatural ability.

Tactics: The tentacles lie curled in the rafters and can only be spotted from below with a DC 20 Perception check. Once the PCs venture onto the landing, the tentacles drop downward and attempt to initiate surprise grapple attacks. Each tentacle may lift a successfully-grappled opponent upwards at a speed of 15 feet per round.

Traps: The tentacles hoist grappled victims into a dragon maw trap which is grafted onto the Arm of Ohnishamotan amidst the rafters 30 feet above the floor. Anyone who realizes they are about to be dragged into a gaping maw receives a one-time free attempt to break a grapple (+4 bonus).
Dragon Maw Trap CR 4
Type mechanical; Search DC 20; Disable Device NA
===== Effects =====
Trigger proximity; Reset automatic;
Effects bite; single target; Atk +16 melee; 2d6+4

4. Bedroom (CR 7)
Unlike the rest of this dilapidated building, this room is well-kept. Pressed suits and clean robes hang on hooks next to a squarely-made bed. A comb, a nail file and a small pair of scissors rest atop a polished dresser.

Something about the Flesh Peddler’s unique brand of madness compels him to meticulously maintain his personal space, even while everything else around him is in chaos.

Creatures: Bracht’s flesh golem valet stands at attention along the southern wall. The Flesh Peddler feels a strong personal connection with his creation which he has named “Evelyn.” Evelyn stands guard next to a secret panel (Perception check DC 15 to locate) beyond which can be found a spiral staircase leading down to the basement (area 6). Evelyn has been instructed to attack any intruders entering the room.

Evelyn (Flesh Golem) CR 7
hp 79 (MM 135)
Supernatural Ability: Evelyn has a breath weapon gland of brass dragon grafted to her shoulder, allowing her to cast a 30-foot cone of sleep once per day (DC 18 Will save or sleep for 1d6+5 rounds)

Tactics: Evelyn begins combat with a blast from her cone of sleep and then closes in to clobber anyone still standing.

5. Flooded Basement (CR 7)
Rancid water floods this dark basement and small bits of debris slosh around in the black pond. A pillar of flesh extends upward out of the muck in the northeast corner, pushing up through a ragged hole in the ceiling to the ground floor above.

The basement of 26 Paper Street is flooded with fetid water to a depth of 3 feet.

Creatures: Below the waterline, a mostly-intact aboleth has been grafted onto the Arm of Ohnishamotan. Even after the graft was complete, Bracht had a difficult time controlling the rebellious aboleth, so he eventually gave the monster a partial lobotomy (hence its reduced intelligence).
Grafted Aboleth (CR 7)
hp 76 (MM 8 except with Speed 0 and Int 3)

Tactics: The aboleth hides under the murky waters, which effectively renders it invisible until it attacks. It attempts to surprise any PCs that wander into its 15-foot reach (marked on the map) and it initiates combat by making a full attack with its tentacles. Next, it dominates the strongest-looking PC to use as a bodyguard.

The aboleth maintains an illusionary wall that hides the entrance to the workshop (area 6). If the grafted aboleth is destroyed, the illusion is dispelled. If Bracht overhears combat in this room, he begins preparing for battle (see below).

6. Underground Workshop (CR 11)
The shelves of this dark room are filled with all manner of embalming fluids, bandages, stitches, scissors and knives. An operating table stands to the north beneath a low-hanging chandelier of flickering candles. Lying on the table is a black-haired man with a full beard. His ribcage is split open and the skin of his chest is pinned back with knitting needles, revealing his insides to the cold dungeon air.

The victim on the table is the kidnapped magistrate the PCs seek. He is a blue-eyed sorcerer and therefore very valuable to Bracht’s “work.” Despite his appearance, the magistrate still lives, but he is heavily sedated and kept alive only by a ring of regeneration that Bracht has slipped onto the magistrate’s left hand. Through this setup, the Flesh Peddler has secured a continuously-regenerating supply of heart tissue. Anyone examining the magistrate notices that his heart still beats.

Since capturing the magistrate, Bracht has spent much of his time here, forgoing food and sleep to continue work on his opus, a maze of heart tissue that he believes will eventually be able to animate the Arm of Ohnishamotan.

Creatures: Unless the PCs have somehow lured Bracht away from his workshop, he can be found here, working with the help of his flesh golem assistant, a brute the Flesh Peddler has named “Bateman.”

Bracht the Flesh Peddler CR 9
hp 63

Bateman (Flesh Golem) CR 7
hp 79 (MM 135)
Supernatural Ability: Bateman has a breath weapon gland of brass dragon grafted to his shoulder, allowing him to cast a 60-foot line of fire once per day. Anyone in this line takes 4d6 fire damage (DC 18 Reflex save for half)

===== Tactics =====

Before Combat: If Bracht overhears the PCs fighting the aboleth in area 5, he commands Bateman to block the entrance to this room and then casts stoneskin on himself. If there is time, Bracht opens a secret compartment within his operating table and quaffs a potion of shield, and a potion of protection form good contained within. Finally Bateman casts message to command Evelyn to come to his aid from the bedroom. Assuming she has not been destroyed, she arrives three rounds later.

During Combat: During combat, Bratch tells Bateman to attack any PC spellcasters while Bratch himself attempts to neutralize strong warriors from a distance with deep sleep, summon monster IV and black tentacles.

Morale: If the battle is going badly for Bracht, he attempts to cast gaseous form and seep through the ceiling to retreat to an abandon alley behind 26 Paper Street.

If Bracht is killed before he can escape, the Arm of Ohnishamotan begins to fall into the sewer (as described in Dungeon Features above) bringing the house down around it. Long after the dust has settled, the shrieking wails of the Arm of Ohnishamotan reverberate below the streets of Katapesh as the colossal aberration retreats deeper and deeper into the sewer system.

Legendary Games, Necromancer Games

Initial Review

Great map. Great concept. Dont know that I need the "adventure module" stuff at the beginning but its not killing me. Neat concept of the arm. Great balance. Mid level encounters leading to good final encounter. Real good highlighting of the villain's powers. Well done. This is an early leader. More to come...

Clearly Top 4. This one may be my favorite of the round.

Final Thoughts

Kevin. Wow. You really, really have delivered in these last two rounds, and the first one too. I loved the hook. And while you slipped a bit in round 2, you absolutely rallied in round 3 with a great rework of your villain. Excellent job! And now, on top of that, you have given us what I think is without question the standout of all the lairs. You knocked me out with this. You get my top spot and as a result are the only one who is STRONGLY RECOMMENDED to advance.

Contributor

Nice thematic lair that suits the villain.

Nice touch with the ring of regeneration.

The map is neat and clear (despite a few typos). As a developer, I'd be happy to receive this as a turnover and probably wouldn't havto make anything other than minor changes before handing it to the cartographer.

I wonder if the names Evelyn and Bateman refer to Dr. Evelyn Bateman: http://www.anesthesia.utoronto.ca/about/awards/bateman.htm

Overall evaluation: Very nice!

Rec: advance to next round!

The Exchange Kobold Press

The flesh peddler's lair is as freakish and the adventure as horrifying as I'd hoped. The use of grafts and variant monsters is well-done, and the overall tone and difficulty seem right on.

Recommended, and a personal favorite.

Malhavoc Press

I found the beginning jarring, because it reads like a full adventure rather than just a lair, as it gives a situation and plot that seem beyond the scope of this round. That's a pretty minor quibble, though.

That said, I found this to be a very fun and original lair. The huge arm is creepy and weird and the DM has the details he needs to use it in a session (with the arm, and with the other aspects of the lair). That's one of the most important things I look for in this kind of material--does the DM have the information he needs, and is he armed to deal with what the players might try.

I also like how the lair is set up so that the tension builds, and I like how the arm ties everything together.

On a scale of 1 to 10, I'd give this a 9.5. I think it's my favorite of the lairs. Recommended.

Scarab Sages Contributor, RPG Superstar 2008 Top 4, Legendary Games

This one is it, the solid gold shinola! This lair makes me wanna rip it outta my computer and use it RIGHT NOW. This is exactly the kind of lair you would want Bracht Darkhouse to have.

Big ups to Trevor for creating the character, but big ups to you this round for taking it and running with it, in grisly, horribulous, and deliciously freakadelic fashion. The house bespeaks his attitude and his personality, as well as unveiling his darker and more diabolical plots. There are consequences for winning and losing, a sense of place, action, and impetus, and it pretty much just rocks the house.

Score a vote from me as my favorite of the round.


Wow, this is what I'm talking about. I am so going to try and rip this one off for my campaign if it doesn't get published anyway. In a tough round with nothing but quality lairs, this just managed to stand out ahead of the crowd. I struggled over who to give my second vote to, but I didn't struggle over this one. A surprisingly easy decision - well done!

Liberty's Edge

this lair:
is HORRIBLE
is TERRIBLE
is MONSTRUOUS

I LOVE IT :D

a deep and terrible feeling, quitea Ravenloft Domain in itself... Nick Logue would feel pleased from this monstruosity

I still need to read the rest... but sincei read the name... I knew this one was special. Quite the Gothic Horror I love.

and after reading their opinion... I have decided to seek my 2nd vote... is not as if i could let something as beutiful as this without my support

congratulations Kevin

Trevor... they made a real monster of your villain :D

Dark Archive

Because of the coolness of this submission, my only question this round is 'who else gets my vote?'

RPG Superstar 2009 Top 16 aka Mark Thomas 66

This is by far one of the creepiest lairs I've ever read. I love it. Great work!!

The Exchange RPG Superstar 2009 Top 8 aka Tarren Dei

* plops self down on couch ... pops open a beer *

"Say, pass me that jar of pickled eyeballs if you don't mind."

The Exchange RPG Superstar 2009 Top 8 aka Tarren Dei

Montalve wrote:


congratulations Kevin

Trevor... they made a real monster of your villain :D

"'Trevor's villain'? Forget Trevor, I'm Kevin's villain now!"

Contributor, RPG Superstar 2009, RPG Superstar Judgernaut

"So...when's the sleepover?"

;-D

Star Voter Season 6

Well done, sir. I am very, very glad that I lobbied hard for Malgana. Since I have a Cthulhu element to my 1 PC campaign, that player may end up voting against you, since her bard may face something like this once she's high enough level. Consider this one yoinked.

Did you consider a swarm of organs, as in the Pyramid modules?


Initial Impression:
Derelict house, etc, etc. Smaller in scale than I would have perhaps expected for Bracht.
Ummm. I don't know.
I will post more comments/thoughts later.

The Exchange RPG Superstar 2009 Top 8 aka Tarren Dei

Gulga Cench wrote:

"So...when's the sleepover?"

;-D

"Shortly after you bathe ... in something other than excrement."

Scarab Sages RPG Superstar 2009 Top 4

This won't be the same house that once held the Paper Street Soap company would it? Because if it was that would be a lot of extra cool points coming your way.

Contributor

TheTwitching King wrote:
This won't be the same house that once held the Paper Street Soap company would it? Because if it was that would be a lot of extra cool points coming your way.

No, the address isn't the same. I checked. ;)

Contributor, RPG Superstar 2009, RPG Superstar Judgernaut

Bracht Darkhouse wrote:
"Shortly after you bathe...in something other than excrement."

"Bathe?! Pssshhh..."

::casts prestidigitation::

"You humans. Always taking the long road. There! Zestfully clean..."

::grumble, rumble::

"So...what's for dinner? Think we can order a mushroom and anchovie pizza to go with the beer?"

"Ooooh! Pickled eyeballs?! Awesome!" :-D

The Exchange RPG Superstar 2009 Top 8 aka Tarren Dei

Gulga Cench wrote:
Bracht Darkhouse wrote:
"Shortly after you bathe...in something other than excrement."

"Bathe?! Pssshhh..."

::casts prestidigitation::

"You humans. Always taking the long road. There! Zestfully clean..."

::grumble, rumble::

"So...what's for dinner? Think we can order a mushroom and anchovie pizza to go with the beer?"

"Ooooh! Pickled eyeballs?! Awesome!" :-D

*hands over jar of pickled eyeballs*

"I had a deformed rooster somewhere but I don't know what I did with it..."

RPG Superstar 2009 Top 4 aka K. B. Carter

Wanted to say thanks to all for the feedback and (hopefully) your votes.

Special thanks to Trevor Gulliver for providing such an awesome villain to work with! Bracht is one seriously twisted dude and I loved him from first read.

The Exchange RPG Superstar 2009 Top 8 aka Tarren Dei

K. B. Carter wrote:

Wanted to say thanks to all for the feedback and (hopefully) your votes.

Special thanks to Trevor Gulliver for providing such an awesome villain to work with! Bracht is one seriously twisted dude and I loved him from first read.

Thanks, Kevin.

What Bracht is trying to say is that this lair is amazing. It's creepy; it's dynamic; it suits the villain it was written for ...

As long as we're giving props, I guess it's time I confessed that I read Matthew Stinson's School of Eyes before bed one night and went to sleep wondering 'What kind of twisted individual would want something like that ...'. I woke up with Bracht.

Contributor, RPG Superstar 2009, RPG Superstar Judgernaut

Tarren Dei wrote:
Well, as long as we're giving props, I guess it's time I confessed that I read Matthew Stinson's School of eyes before bed one night and went to sleep wondering 'What kind of twisted individual would want something like that ...'. I woke up with Bracht.

LOL!

You don't want to know how I woke up with Gulga... ;-D

--Neil

P.S. In all seriousness, props to you, Kevin. Easily the best entry of the round. Great job! And kudos to Trevor, too. His villain brought a lot to the imagination and infused all kinds of imaginings for his lair all the way back in Round 2.


Great work Kevin. I always love it when a lair collapses in on itself. Every PC should have to experience that at some point in their career. I agree with the comments above that this lair is a very balanced design. That's tough to do, so congrats on that.

Best of luck this round.

Liberty's Edge

I found myself interested in the map round of this contest out of professional curiosity, but I wasn't sure if I should comment publicly for that reason. I checked with the folks at Paizo and they gave me the nod to go ahead and comment, so here I am. :)

It seems to me that a majority of entry comments so far have been centered on the written elements of the lairs, so I'm going to pay more attention to the maps themselves and assess them from the point of view of a cartographer who might be hired to produce the finished illustrations.

From that basis, I'm liking this entry quite a lot. It has cleanly defined walls with some thickness to them, so there's no guesswork on the cartographer's part when trying to read the map sketch. It follows the grid cleanly, but the angled wall in some corners add interest and keep it from becoming too "boxy". I like that most of the levels are positioned over one another on the page in a sensible way that makes it easy to tell how they line up. (You'd be amazed at how many authors' multilevel sketches present the maps in a haphazard arrangement.) The bit of shading around the basement level is a nice touch.

This map would be very easy to develop into a finished piece, and it has the look of an interesting encounter location with some exciting setting elements that would be fun to experience in a game. I giggled a little at the "Groud Level" spelling error on the map sketch, but that's about all I can find to complain about, and it's extremely trivial. Big thumbs up.

RPG Superstar 2011 Top 32 aka Gamer Girrl

First off, congratulations on making Top 8!

Just ... wow. I think I an say I'm going to have trouble sleeping tonight without freakout dreams!

I loved the juxtaposition of Bracht's lair to his private room within it ... the compulsively neat next to the horror show mess.

Very minor quibbles CONDEMED should be CONDEMNED <G> and Bateman casts message to summon Evelyn? I think you meant Bracht there? (But don't answer me until you're allowed!!)

There's a few other typoes/oddities, but nothing that tripped me up.

I can say that you have one of my two precious votes. I'm going to have to sleep on the rest, as this round is bloody tough!! Congratulations, and I can't wait to see what else you throw our way :)

Liberty's Edge

aye Trevor

I believe Kevin did a great Lair and encounter for a great villain :D

both did a great job, hope to see both on the other side of the contest :)

still i need to read the others

RPG Superstar 2010 Top 32, 2011 Top 4 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka DankeSean

I am drooling over this.

Just from the title alone, before I even opened up the thread... '26 Paper Street? Somethign that prosaic sounding has to be AWESOME.'

And man, you delivered. What could be your standard Creepy Old Abaondoned House turns into something right out of Lovecraft.

Nothing much else to say but praise. Hopefully you're a shoo-in for the final round; considering how controversial the original incarnation of Malaga was, that's a fantastic achievement.


Gamer Girrl wrote:
Very minor quibbles CONDEMED should be CONDEMNED <G>

This I assume was on purpose. It is a sign which is in the world after all, and in those typos are allowed.

Anyway: Great entry, very gothic/Cthulhu, now the twofold question is who else should I vote, and should I go for tactical voting and skip the best entry in favor of some good third one :)

Liberty's Edge Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8

This was freaky and cool. I can't help but be impressed, and I had such a negative opinion about your earlier entries.

Edit: ...and this turns out to be my favorite entry too. I tip my hat to you.

Scarab Sages Contributor, RPG Superstar 2008 Top 4, Legendary Games

Winterwalker wrote:
This was freaky and cool. I can't help but be impressed, and I had such a negative opinion about your earlier entries.

I was no fan of Malgana the first time around, though the revision was better. Still, for this round awesome is awesome, and that's what this is.


Before I begin, let me say congrats on advancing.

I have tried to keep my comments related to issues which no one has mentioned. I hope it's more helpful than receiving the same comment a dozen times.

Additionally, I have tried to keep each round separate, critiquing each submission on its own merit. One of my favorites in round 2 was one of my least favorite in round 3. Conversely, I hated your round 2 submission, but loved rounds 1 and 3. So, that said, let me get to the point.

The Good:

1) You have shown that you don't have to have a fancy mapping program to pull off a lair people will vote for. It was a concern of mine (if I had advanced), and now next year (if there is another contest), I don't have to worry. Thank You.

2) The Gibbering Mouther in the box is priceless. Show me the party that doesn't have at least one adventurer dying to open a box like that!

3) He has a female flesh golumn in his bedroom? CREEPY with a capital EW!

4) I like the shape of the house. Good choice not to use a boring square.

The Bad:

1) From an architectural standpoint... there is a set of stairs that go from the 2nd floor bedroom to the basement? Without stopping at the 1st floor? I could see Bracht designing something like this, but not he original owner. (Since this is a condemned building, I assume it's been around a while).

2) I know I try to keep my comments to things not previously mentioned, but I noticed this as I was reading the lair and immediately Googled the name. It turns out I'm not the only one to notice it:

Sean K Reynolds wrote:


I wonder if the names Evelyn and Bateman refer to Dr. Evelyn Bateman: http://www.anesthesia.utoronto.ca/about/awards/bateman.htm

It doesn't sound like a coincidence, since the award is for "excellence in anesthesia", and the magistrate in your submission is currently "heavily sedated". If it is, then you should have considered Clark Peterson's advice in round 2 (Gibnem thread). There is no reason to tempt legal trouble, however unlikely. I doubt many at the University of Toronto, or those in charge of Evelyn Bateman's estate would consider her a villain. Better names should have been chosen.

Despite that, the good outweigh the bad. You once again are a contender for my vote.

Contributor

I didn't see it as a flaw, more of an easter egg. Naming two different characters after the first and last name of someone (when they're in separate rooms) is far different than giving a single character the name of a real person.


Very good flavour to the lair, but reliant on the Arm of Onishamotan as one central gimmick - except it doesn't do a lot except protrude through the house, like a big indestructible anchoring pillar; this is acceptable until the PCs get distracted by trying to destroy it, since a great big tentacle thing like that is obviously a BAD THING which may as well have 'DESTROY ME' written all over it in capital letters of every known language. (And something that size radiating evil and alteration magic has 'SMITE ME' written all over it in paladin language, too.)
At the very least, I want details of how, as soon as a group of righteous PCs whip out their axes and two handed swords and start hacking away at it, it starts trembling and thrashing around, alerting Bracht and everyone/everything else in the house that there are intruders and putting them on 'alert'.

Despite the missed opportunity to make more of the Arm I have not assigned either of my Round 4 votes yet and this entry is still in contention for them.

RPG Superstar 2009 Top 16, 2012 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka Epic Meepo

Bracht Darkhouse wrote:
"I had a deformed rooster somewhere but I don't know what I did with it..."

"Ugly rooster taste like sickness AND poison! Oh, well. Me learn lesson. Me never eat ugly rooster again...

"So, what you think Arm of Ominominom taste like?"

The Exchange RPG Superstar 2009 Top 8 aka Tarren Dei

Gorbo Blackblood wrote:
Bracht Darkhouse wrote:
"I had a deformed rooster somewhere but I don't know what I did with it..."

"Ugly rooster taste like sickness AND poison! Oh, well. Me learn lesson. Me never eat ugly rooster again...

"So, what you think Arm of Ominominom taste like?"

Greetings People of the Future / Top 32 2010:

Spoiler:

... I dare anyone in the Top 32 next year to do a villain based on a goblin turned into an aberrant flesh creature after chewing a bite out of the arm of Ohnishamotan.

Contributor, RPG Superstar 2009, RPG Superstar Judgernaut

Tarren Dei wrote:

Greetings People of the Future / Top 32 2010:

Spoiler:
... I dare anyone in the Top 32 next year to do a villain based on a goblin turned into an aberrant flesh creature after chewing a bite out of the arm of Ohnishamotan.

Dude:

Spoiler:
I'm not eligible for RPG Superstar 2010! You can't throw out a dare like that when my hands are tied! How cruel! ;-D

Shadow Lodge

I had missed this looking thrugh the first time. Hmm, Very cool. Taking a villian people were not to fond of in the previous round and making him into a heavy hitter, Wow! This is my #2 vote.

Star Voter Season 9

After reading this, I'm eager to run it. Some very fun encounters, and smart tactics. Particularly loved the pacing, and the Arm. Congratulations!

Scarab Sages RPG Superstar 2013 , Dedicated Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka Steven T. Helt

Tarren Dei wrote:
Gorbo Blackblood wrote:
Bracht Darkhouse wrote:
"I had a deformed rooster somewhere but I don't know what I did with it..."

"Ugly rooster taste like sickness AND poison! Oh, well. Me learn lesson. Me never eat ugly rooster again...

"So, what you think Arm of Ominominom taste like?"

Greetings People of the Future / Top 32 2010:

** spoiler omitted **

I previously volunteered to make a villain with only commoner levels, but I'm not comitted to it. I am sure a lot of ideas will present themselves for my villain, and then Clark will pan my item and arrange for me to contract malaria.

Previously, my nemesis was Diego from Dora the Explorer. But something will have to be done about this Clark fella.

Scarab Sages RPG Superstar 2013 , Dedicated Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka Steven T. Helt

As surprising as this will be to some, I don't have much to say.

I agree you took a risk by extending the scope of the lair to include a full plot. Having said that, I like risks, and I don't see anything in the rules that prohibits your approach.

Once I get past the 'module' issue, your description immediately implies horror and urgency, and the tension continues to mount until the end. Good job. Any group of players would find this disturbing and memorable.

I wasn't the biggest fan of Bracht in round two. I felt a little better about him in round three, but canned him because of his proposed mechanic. Seeing him in action brings him up a notch, and this is the sort of caper that Trevor should have proposed, instead of 'weird things break out of his lair."

Actually, the idea of the fleshpeddler essentially replacing influential figures with evil twins has a lot of potential. Can we say Face/off?

A solid, fun entry. Defintely 26 Paper Street and Hecataeus' lair are my two vote getters at this time.

Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32, 2011 Top 16 , Star Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka JoelF847

I have to say, my initial impression was marred a bit by the name. I read it and immediately thought of 21 Jump Street, which is not at all the right tone for what this lair really is. Before using this, I'd have to change the name slightly to take the address out of the 20s and change 'Street' to 'Lane' or 'Road' or something.

That being said, it doesn't realy detract from a pretty cool lair. The tone was the perfect creepy, fleshy, icky stuff that captures Bracht's theme very well. I wasn't a huge fan of the backstory/adventure hook, but I wasn't against it if you had the word count to spare. I did like the recommended levels though. That helped a lot in evaluating if the CRs were appropriate.

The Arm was the centerpiece of what makes this work (pun intended). Not only does it set the tone early on, but I'm a big fan of mechanics that change things at the end of the adventure, and a collapsing self-destruct of the lair followed by a black pudding after the PCs think they're done by killing the bad guy is a great way to do that.

I also really liked the non-magical will saves to reinforce the horror of what's going on, such as when the PCs read about the Arm. More of this throughout would have been even better. Also, great use of the magical grafts to spice up some of the standard encounters.

There were a few things I didn't like about the submission, though. First was the aboleth encounter. If there's only 3 feet of water, how does an aboleth stay hidden under it? These are Huge creatures, and this one is described as "mostly intact". Second, by lobotomizing it and dropping it's Int to 3, I have a hard time buying that it would make a convincing illusion of anything, not to mention using dominate person effectively.

The other thing that I didn't like was the ring of regeneration. Yes, it explains a creepy scene on the operating table, but it's a 90K magic item, and it seems to be way too much for a 7th level party to be able to find, on top of Bracht's gear and the treasure in the lair that's not listed per the round 4 rules.

So, overall, I do like this entry, and it's currently in my #2 spot of the 4 I've read. However, some of the flaws leave room for one of the entries I haven't read to knock it out of contention for my votes. Good job overall though!

Scarab Sages

JoelF847 wrote:
The other thing that I didn't like was the ring of regeneration. Yes, it explains a creepy scene on the operating table, but it's a 90K magic item, and it seems to be way too much for a 7th level party

To be fair, rings of regeneration are probably the most dramatically overpriced magic item that has ever existed. I wouldn't pay 1,000 gold for one, let alone 90 times that.

Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32, 2011 Top 16 , Star Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka JoelF847

William Senn wrote:
JoelF847 wrote:
The other thing that I didn't like was the ring of regeneration. Yes, it explains a creepy scene on the operating table, but it's a 90K magic item, and it seems to be way too much for a 7th level party
To be fair, rings of regeneration are probably the most dramatically overpriced magic item that has ever existed. I wouldn't pay 1,000 gold for one, let alone 90 times that.

Very true, but until they're changed in price, the PCs can still sell it for 45K.

Scarab Sages

JoelF847 wrote:
Very true, but until they're changed in price, the PCs can still sell it for 45K.

Not with any sane DM, they can't. Nowhere in any book does it say you can take a worthless item to a pawn shop and sell it for half of its dramatically overinflated price. The rule is, emphasis mine: "In general you can sell an item for half of its listed price." Notice that there's no hard and fast rule there, just a guideline. Any DM that sticks that hard to the guidelines is going to ruin any adventure he runs regardless of how fool-proof the designer makes it.

Dedicated Voter Season 6

I have to say that I voted for two lairs that had the following:

  • Are chock full of uniqueness, expressing the villain
  • Had interesting maps
  • Offered the potential to be really well-expressed and/or even better developed with a higher word count - while this may go 'counter' to the purpose of this contest, if an encounter lair is uninspiring, well... bad guys tend to move to the more entertaining areas to hang out with the flumphs in.
  • And most importantly came across as an area that the entire party may very likely have no choice but to deal with in ONE run.

This lair and my #2 choice - for me - delivered on all points. Good luck!

The Exchange RPG Superstar 2010 Top 16

I voted for this, despite, despite mind you, one of my pet grammar peeves.

The entry wrote:
To stop the Flesh Peddler, the PCs must venture into 26 Paper Street and rescue the magistrate, who is the only individual that can clear the false accusations levied against them.

"levelled", not "levied". (fume, fume, fume.)

Otherwise, of course, great job. In particular, you did a terrific job making this whole place creepy and ooky, while not falling in to the temptation to swathe the entire place in purple prose. There are no useless, rotting adjectives or mindless, baying adverbs here. Every word rises up and does its job.


I'm not sure whether I like having a hook in these or not. Has a load-bearing boss, which is OK. The Arm is cool if really just there for flavor. I like the mouther in the icebox even though it doesn't make any sense. Gets one of my votes.

Paizo Employee Chief Technical Officer

Christopher West wrote:
I found myself interested in the map round of this contest out of professional curiosity, but I wasn't sure if I should comment publicly for that reason. I checked with the folks at Paizo and they gave me the nod to go ahead and comment, so here I am. :)

We totally should have thought of getting a professional cartographer on the guest judging panel round for this round, but... we didn't. Thanks for all your comments, Chris!

Dedicated Voter Season 6

Vic Wertz wrote:
Christopher West wrote:
I found myself interested in the map round of this contest out of professional curiosity, but I wasn't sure if I should comment publicly for that reason. I checked with the folks at Paizo and they gave me the nod to go ahead and comment, so here I am. :)
We totally should have thought of getting a professional cartographer on the guest judging panel round for this round, but... we didn't. Thanks for all your comments, Chris!

I found Chris' commentaries VERY enlightening for my own (amateur at present) interests. IMO this is a great idea for any future Superstar contest rounds requiring maps for submission.

Chris, your having stepped up and done this of your own accord is all kinds of awesome, deserving a thoroughly well-earned kudo! (At least from me :P)

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