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Erik Mona in the Store Blog


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Pathfinder Adventure Path, Tales Subscriber

I thought it was "Asmodeus went down to Darkmoon"?


Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber

"Erik Mona the T-shirt, Erik Mona the Coloring Book, Erik Mona the Lunch box, Erik Mona the Breakfast Cereal, Erik Mona the Flame Thrower."


I have been told that Erik Mona does not wear sandles on his feet, he wears bear traps.

Qadira RPG Superstar 2009 Top 8

Tensor wrote:


I have been told that Erik Mona does not wear sandles on his feet, he wears beer traps.

I think you mean bear traps ... however, I could be wrong.

Cheliax

The Jade wrote:
Devlin 'Dusk' Valerian wrote:
Absinth wrote:
Please note that Eric Mona prefers loud and disturbing Thrash Metal. Neighbours might complain about it. I doubt that Paizo can be held responsible for any trouble the purchase of an Eric Mona or any of the future Editor-editions might arise. Thank you.
That might be a problem...! I guess I wait for the Eric Mona Country Version.

Ah yes... great album! My favorites cuts off it are:

Another Adventure Arc, Another Heartbreak

Why Can't This Pathfinder Find A Way into Your Heart?

Beers To the New Ruleset

That'll Be Your Last Failed Diplomacy Check with Me, Girl

What are some of yours?

Hi Jade,

hmm, lets see....

Thank WoC for unanswered prayers

It must be Eric Mona somewhere

Pathfinder's Cominn'

Chariot to the Moon

A Castle with no Curtains

It pays big platinum,

Old Wizard from the Mountain

Korvosa Inn and Tavern Association

When the lightning strikes

Fiends in low Places

Qadira RPG Superstar 2010 Top 16

Lion's Tap hamburgers (aka. Mona-Chow) are sold separately.


I am pleased to announce that Benchak and I are releasing a full line of Erik Mona products that will meet all of your criteria, at a price to fit every budget.

* Need an Erik Mona en Espanol? Try our Senor Mona, with offensively stereotypical sombrero, poncho, and tequila!

* Midwestern child of the 70's? Try out Metal Mona, who comes complete with Metallica T-shirt, spiked wristbands, and a whole lotta attitude!

* Not insane enough for you? Well, you'll go "IA! IA!" for Lovecraft-themed Mo'Nah the Unaccountable, the One Eyed Lord of Pah-Zo! Fifty-three points of articulation in the tentacles alone!

* Craving a return to the classic flavor of D&D? Check out Monakainen, the famed archmage of Paizohawk! Based of Gary Gygax's ORIGINAL original campaign, this Mona's loaded with nostalgia for the good ol' days!

* Or perhaps cyberpunk's your genre of choice? Then MONA-1337 is right up your alley! Be careful: his to-scale HK-G11 fires live ammo, and his black leather duster is 2088's bleeding edge of fashion!

* For the 17-and-over set, we offer the "Book of Erotic Mona," the latest OGL-compatible splatbook! Whether you're looking for new skill uses, feats, and equipment, or just want to play the exciting new Monanatrix class, this is THE book for you!

* Art-house Mona fans will love a copy of "Citizen Mona" in their stocking! Lovingly remastered from the original master reels, this all-digital revision includes over 3.7 million hours of extras, including the documentary, "Making Mona," originally seen on BBC, and SEVENTEEN uncut alternate endings, all of which suck!

* Fans of the Planet Stories series, line up here! Now available in one hardbound collection is "Rejected By Mona," featuring all the stories Erik refused to print! A collection no devotee should be without!

All these are available through Paizo's webstore, as soon as the libel lawsuits are settled out of court. Look forward to new releases, including the MonaMon CCG (gotta catch 'em all!), Mona 4th Edition, the TrueMona system, and the upcoming DVD collection of "Monas Gone WILD!" Plus, get ready for Paizo's upcoming meta-plot: Rise of the Monalords! Watch as the Seven Lords of Mona battle for dominance, only to be smothered to death by the aboleth-crafted DoomWaffle(TM)! Guaranteed to take your players from first level to AWESOME in 365 days!

Whattya waitin' fer? Order NOW!

Paizo Employee Developer

N'wah wrote:
... is 2088's bleeding edge of ...

I love that you chose that year.


Daigle wrote:
N'wah wrote:
... is 2088's bleeding edge of ...
I love that you chose that year.

Hey, blame Ed Healy for telling me to listen to Atomic Array #5, and Ben for reminding me that we're hardcore cyberpunk geeks who haven't played a near-future game in, like, forever.

Wacky Brazilian hijinks to ensue shortly! :D

Paizo Employee Developer

Well, in that case, thanks for buying IZ!


Daigle wrote:
Well, in that case, thanks for buying IZ!

You kidding? Thanks for MAKING IZ. Oh, and thanks should go to Ben. He's picking up the PDFs on Tuesday. Right now, we're just freaking out over the preview. The PREVIEW, for Chrissakes. :D

We're nerdy fanboys. Sorry.

Paizo Employee Developer

I just proofread and threw out some ideas for the real brains behind the project, but thanks all the same. Glad you're diggin' on it!

Taldor

Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Campaign Setting, Companion, Modules, Roleplaying Game, Tales Subscriber

So who's all going to MONACON '09?


Zootcat wrote:
So who's all going to MONACON '09?

I AM!!!

Andoran

Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

Is it live, or is it Monarex?

Paizo Employee Publisher, Chief Creative Officer

Terrifying.


Erik Mona wrote:

Terrifying.

If by "terrifying," you mean "AWESOME," then yes. ;P

Andoran

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

I'd like to express my disapointment that Paizo did not make this product available in time for Erik Mona Day gifting.


Mothman wrote:
I'd like to express my disapointment that Paizo did not make this product available in time for Erik Mona Day gifting.

Oh, it was available and set to be shipped on Erik Mona Day via fantastical space pigeons on-loan from the fevered nightmares of the Spelljammer developers, but then the pizzas arrived at the Paizo offices, causing massive food comas. The team has been able to astral project into the Internet for the time being to keep thing running smoothly, but alas, the pigeons flew back into the phlogiston with all our Mona Day packages, so now we have to pay for them all over again.

Happy holidays! :D

Andoran

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

I knew the pigeons were up to something ... damn pigeons.


Pathfinder Adventure Path, Campaign Setting, Companion, Modules, Roleplaying Game Subscriber

Hey! Yo quiero mi Erik Mona en español! Y más les vale que traiga su botella de tequila o les echo a Sebastian encima!


Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

Is Erik Mona non-toxic, or do I have to worry about the little ones breaking off a piece and getting a tummy ache? One ralphed up all over the bathroom floor after he got a chunk of [redacted] last year.

If we get the complete set of Paizo Staff, will they connect together to form one giant writing machine? If so, should we expect it to be bloody and lay down newspaper and/or strategically positioned bowls as the case may be?

Is any such hypothetical transformation sequence something that the gerbil can see, or will it keep me up for weeks after with its horrifying nightmares?

Spoiler:
We kid because we love.


Samnell wrote:

Is Erik Mona non-toxic, or do I have to worry about the little ones breaking off a piece and getting a tummy ache? One ralphed up all over the bathroom floor after he got a chunk of [redacted] last year.

Erik Mona is non-toxic; however, ingesting Erik Mona is not recommended. Erik Mona is for recreational use only and is not meant to be used as a flotation device. Keep away from mouth and eyes. If accidentally ingested, induce vomiting, drink a glass of milk and two shots of bourbon, induce vomiting again, and seek medical attention immediately. In some cases, exposure to Erik Mona has caused an allergic reaction. Consult a doctor, Gamemaster, or priest before use.

Side effects may include dizziness, shortness of breath, loss of bladder and/or bowel control, the desire to publish volumes of high-quality gaming material, and insomnia. Most symptoms were described as mild or moderate.

Samnell wrote:

If we get the complete set of Paizo Staff, will they connect together to form one giant writing machine? If so, should we expect it to be bloody and lay down newspaper and/or strategically positioned bowls as the case may be?

Is any such hypothetical transformation sequence something that the gerbil can see, or will it keep me up for weeks after with its horrifying nightmares?

The complete set of Paizo staff members is scheduled to be completed on December 21st, 2012. The first lucky Paizo fan to complete the set will usher in the end of the Fifth Age, destroying all life as we know it and leaving our planet a blank slate from which a new race of sentient beings shall emerge. For more information, consult the disgusting hobo popping a squat outside your local library.


Hugo Solis wrote:
Hey! Yo quiero mi Erik Mona en español! Y más les vale que traiga su botella de tequila o les echo a Sebastian encima!

Um... si? :D

RPG Superstar 2008 Top 16

I tried to get the Nick Logue when they offered it, but I didn't realize it was such a limited run. They ran out of stock before I could order.

Osirion

Erik Mona is yet another egregious example of power-creep.

Jason really needs to nerf him!

Qadira

Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Adventure Path, Campaign Setting, Companion, Modules, Roleplaying Game, Tales Subscriber
Set wrote:

Erik Mona is yet another egregious example of power-creep.

Jason really needs to nerf him!

The last person we had proof of Jason nerfing was Cosmo and no one seems to want to buy him yet...

Paizo Employee Chief Technical Officer

Zootcat wrote:
Does Erik Mona weigh more than 4 pounds? (Just looking out for the international subscribers.)

Yes, but if we break him into smaller chunks and ship him in multiple packages, the total shipping cost probably goes down.


Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
N'wah wrote:
Samnell wrote:
If we get the complete set of Paizo Staff, will they connect together to form one giant writing machine? If so, should we expect it to be bloody and lay down newspaper and/or strategically positioned bowls as the case may be?
The complete set of Paizo staff members is scheduled to be completed on December 21st, 2012. The first lucky Paizo fan to complete the set will usher in the end of the Fifth Age, destroying all life as we know it and leaving our planet a blank slate from which a new race of sentient beings shall emerge. For more information, consult the disgusting hobo popping a squat outside your local library.

I hope the complete set is easy to assemble. With this much advance notice, the Paizo staff should be designed and constructed from easily-interlocking parts. I'll have to hit up that hobo and make sure, though.

Does the hobo have a toll-free number I can call for product support?


Samnell wrote:

I hope the complete set is easy to assemble. With this much advance notice, the Paizo staff should be designed and constructed from easily-interlocking parts. I'll have to hit up that hobo and make sure, though.

Does the hobo have a toll-free number I can call for product support?

The Paizo staff will literally assemble themselves into the Omega, so no worries there. All human endeavors have built themselves to achieve this terminus. No assembly required.

The hobo can be reached remotely via the CIA tracking device in his lower-right-hand rear molar. You'll need the tracking code to contact him, though. The CIA is willing to give it out to third parties, but you'll need to sign up for their online service. Hope you like espionage spam!


Vic Wertz wrote:
Yes, but if we break him into smaller chunks and ship him in multiple packages, the total shipping cost probably goes down.

Break the capstone of the Omega machine, sir? Be ye mad? Why, he'd release a quantum energy fluctuation not unlike crossing the proton streams! YOU NEVER CROSS THE STREAMS!

I'd have you read my thesis paper on Total Protonic Reversal, but print is dead, so it'd be a moot point.


Pathfinder Adventure Path, Tales Subscriber
Vic Wertz wrote:
Yes, but if we break him into smaller chunks and ship him in multiple packages, the total shipping cost probably goes down.

For both economics and mobility, I would prefer a "Mimir" Mona. Are there plans to come out with a head-only version in the near future? Not only would it save on shipping, but it would be great to take to book clubs, game sessions, etc. The possibilities are endless!


Mairkurion {tm} wrote:
Vic Wertz wrote:
Yes, but if we break him into smaller chunks and ship him in multiple packages, the total shipping cost probably goes down.
For both economics and mobility, I would prefer a "Mimir" Mona. Are there plans to come out with a head-only version in the near future? Not only would it save on shipping, but it would be great to take to book clubs, game sessions, etc. The possibilities are endless!

Sadly, the rights to "Mimir Mona" are still property of Wizards of the Coast. We're still in negotiations over the rights, and we think we have an edge due to some very unflattering photos found on an old Planescape BBS involving several WotC senior employees, a duck, and a very naughty talking skull. Barring that, Tony diTerlizzi, contrary to popular belief, will kill anyone for a quarter.

(JINGLES POCKETS FULL OF CHANGE)


Pathfinder Adventure Path, Tales Subscriber

How can this be? Mimir is clearly in the public domain. Applying this template, if you will, to Mona should be pretty straightforward. Where's the alchemy that brings WotC into the mix? And if we need Tony to off some folks over there, to clear out interference, then in the words of those immortal Texans, I just got paid today...


Mairkurion {tm} wrote:
How can this be? Mimir is clearly in the public domain. Applying this template, if you will, to Mona should be pretty straightforward. Where's the alchemy that brings WotC into the mix? And if we need Tony to off some folks over there, to clear out interference, then in the words of those immortal Texans, I just got paid today...

Wait, just got an update. Yes, we have the rights to the Mimir Mona; the documents just arrived in a blood-slicked folder. And, apparently, DiTerlizzi already handled it a couple weeks ago. That would be what all those "layoffs" were.

WHEN WILL THE BLOODSHED END?!


Pathfinder Adventure Path, Roleplaying Game Subscriber
N'wah wrote:


The complete set of Paizo staff members is scheduled to be completed on December 21st, 2012. The first lucky Paizo fan to complete the set will usher in the end of the Fifth Age, destroying all life as we know it and leaving our planet a blank slate from which a new race of sentient beings shall emerge. For more information, consult the disgusting hobo popping a squat outside your local library.

Is this going to be like the State quarters? Can I get a neat binder to put them all in?

Osirion

Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Campaign Setting, Cards, Companion, Maps, Modules, Roleplaying Game Subscriber

Each release in the first wave of life-size 'Paizo Staffers'(TM) comes with a 'Bonus Bodypart'(TM) which, if the whole set is bought, allow the owner to assemble their own,life-size, Mammy Graul!

Taldor

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Campaign Setting, Companion, Modules, Tales Subscriber
waltero wrote:
N'wah wrote:


The complete set of Paizo staff members is scheduled to be completed on December 21st, 2012. The first lucky Paizo fan to complete the set will usher in the end of the Fifth Age, destroying all life as we know it and leaving our planet a blank slate from which a new race of sentient beings shall emerge. For more information, consult the disgusting hobo popping a squat outside your local library.
Is this going to be like the State quarters? Can I get a neat binder to put them all in?

The Complete Paizo Staff Binder is on the to-do list but is currently a low priority for Paizo. It was suggested in the chat that it may be shipped with the Pathfinder DM Screen.

Qadira RPG Superstar 2009 Top 8

Snorter wrote:
Each release in the first wave of life-size 'Paizo Staffers'(TM) comes with a 'Bonus Bodypart'(TM) which, if the whole set is bought, allow the owner to assemble their own,life-size, Mammy Graul!

Oh!~ Okay. I was wondering where that extra arm was supposed to go. That makes more sense. Now I'll have to think of a way to remove it.

They really should label those bonus bodyparts so no one makes the same mistake I did.


Pathfinder Adventure Path, Tales Subscriber
GeraintElberion wrote:
The Complete Paizo Staff Binder

Doesn't that sound like a supplemental book for a prestige class? :D

Paizo Employee Publisher, Chief Creative Officer

This isn't getting any _less_ terrifying, folks...


Erik Mona wrote:
This isn't getting any _less_ terrifying, folks...

~points and shouts~ There he is! There is Erik Mona! Grab him and lets gift wrap him!

Andoran

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
Sharoth wrote:
Erik Mona wrote:
This isn't getting any _less_ terrifying, folks...
~points and shouts~ There he is! There is Erik Mona! Grab him and lets gift wrap him!

Uh oh ... I hope he brought enough for everyone.


Mothman wrote:
Sharoth wrote:
Erik Mona wrote:
This isn't getting any _less_ terrifying, folks...
~points and shouts~ There he is! There is Erik Mona! Grab him and lets gift wrap him!
Uh oh ... I hope he brought enough for everyone.

~grins wickedly and pulls out my meat cleaver~ Well, one way or another there will be enough for everyone! Hold his arm!


Pathfinder Adventure Path, Tales Subscriber
Erik Mona wrote:
This isn't getting any _less_ terrifying, folks...

Too much attention?

Taldor

Will they be offering discounts on the slightly damaged Monas? Like they did with the Dragon Compendium? I still want a Mona but mine need not be pristine . . . Heck I might be willing to buy used.

Paizo Employee Publisher, Chief Creative Officer

I assure you that Paizo ran out of pristine Erik Mona's some time around the point Polyhedron got cancelled. :)

Andoran

I got the 1e. Deities and Demigods with his stats in it.

Qadira

Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Adventure Path, Campaign Setting, Companion, Modules, Roleplaying Game, Tales Subscriber
Erik Mona wrote:
This isn't getting any _less_ terrifying, folks...

I guess you'll just have to hope that someone else's picture shows up in the store blog and i start another thread :P

Spoiler:
Maybe that one will get more answers.


Pathfinder Adventure Path, Tales Subscriber

The One-eyed, one-horned, flyin purple people eater?

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