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Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
Green Slime - had a cool early 60's rock theme song though!
I saw some peice of crap called 'the Substitute' that takes place in Denmark and has an alien wanting to kidnap 6 graders for 'their love' last week. It was really, really dumb.
Anything direct to video starring Steven Seagal...
But I am still convinced anything on the Lifetime Movie Network takes the cake
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The worst movie I've ever seen would have to be...
Napoleon Dynamite.
Absolutely, totally and completely unfunny.
I'm one of the few people I know who was enchanted by the film and finds it quite funny. I even have a 'Vote for Pedro' T-shirt.
That doesn't mean I 'go the other way' with humor and only like off-beat and absurd comedies... I enjoy most comedies.
The Napolean Dynamite character makes complete sense if you realize he's drawn from people's doofusy little brother who runs into the room with his head cocked to the side, says something dispassionately cryptic, and then runs away just as quickly, almost like a capricious and confused housecat. It's funny if you've met that kid... it's probably nonsensical if you haven't.
Ok, the absolute worst movie that I have ever tried to sit through was The Brotherhood III. The only reason I watched this movie is because I had some friends that rented it and said that they stopped watching ten minutes in because it was so dumb. I thought that no movie could be that bad. I made it 15 minutes in. WARNING!!!! this movie has been known to cause loss of IQ and to inspire genicidal rage (only directed at the people who made it).
The worst movie I've ever seen would have to be...
Napoleon Dynamite.
Absolutely, totally and completely unfunny.
I'm of a third camp with this movie. I didn't find it particularly good or funny (has some moments) and it definately isnt the hilarity fest people make it out to be, but at the same time I find it extremely quotable... just due to some of the absurdity....
As for Worst movie? Probably not the worst but pretty bad is Evil Breed: Legend of the samhain or somesuch. I mean the movie's recognizable names arent the stars and whats worse its Richard Greco and Jenna Jameson... man was that trouble waiting to happen. Also all of their gore budget in the hills have eyes/wrong turn wannabe about scottish toxic mutant inbred murderers was spent on pig guts by the gallon because that was almost every death scene. I mean a guy even gets choked to death with "his" guts.... My god I want that time back...
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IDK if this is on here anywhere but ROBOCOP 3 .
Really, a kid reprograms ninja assassin robots with her laptop to save the day. Buncha crap.
Hey, I went to see RC3 all three days it was showing at the base theater. Of course the alternative was to volunteer to dig foxholes and string barbwire for the upcoming war games, so that might say a lot.
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Hey, I went to see RC3 all three days it was showing at the base theater. Of course the alternative was to volunteer to dig foxholes and string barbwire for the upcoming war games, so that might say a lot.IDK if this is on here anywhere but ROBOCOP 3 .
Really, a kid reprograms ninja assassin robots with her laptop to save the day. Buncha crap.
HA!!!!
I can see how that movie would be the best then!
The Cube.OK, so the plot was a little thin ...
No, no, ... Cube definitely goes into the 1/10 category along with Powder. The endings were exquisitely horrible. The executive producers, director, and writers must have really spent some significant time to come up with such horrible finales.
In service,
Rich
www.drgames.org
A Thin Red Line - seriously if you were not suicidal before watching this you will be after, just to end the torture. All most 3 hours of almost all internal monologues about how somebody's wife was leaving them/cheating on them, how life sucked, blah blah blah. The only scene that was remotely interesting was when Woody blew off his ass.
Oh my god yes. I think I actually started looking at my watch to try to figure out how much longer it would be before the movie ended. I went with friends when it came out and only stayed because they were there. Not even Nick Nolty's(sp?) red faced rants could make up for how incredibly awful that movie was.
Cemetery Man
I haven't seen this in a while, but I thought it was great! Perfect combination of a hunter-of-the-dead horror flick and a European arthouse film.
Absolute worst movie I've ever seen was Fat Guy Goes Nutzoid.
Dante's peak, Epic Movie, Indiana Jones 4, the last three Star wars movies, Matrix 3, Titanic, Drag me to Hell(the ending only), anything directed by Uwe Boll, The american Godzilla movie, Twister, and Batman and Robin
First I'd like t say that I'll watch and enjoy just about anything. If I get 15 minutes into a movie, I will watch it to the end. Except for 2 movies:
Alone in the Dark-- ugh, really someone cast Tara Reid as a scientist?
Be Cool--- More like Be Suck.
I have to agree with alot of movies listed here....those that I have seen....I'll comment though on
5th Element: Was just a fun movie....I can not hate it.
Dungeon & Dragons: I hated this movie so much....sigh...I'll also add that Marlon Wayans was not that bad in it...and I went in hoping he would be the only problems in the movie...but I really do say...he did a ok job...
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Someone way back put Cutthroat Island on this List...no way man..I love that movie..its a better Pirate Movie then PotC 2&3 anyway
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Basilisk
I'd like to submit Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. I first saw this movie last year(Christmas Eve I belive) on Elvira's Movie Macabre, and couldn't get over how stupid it was.
Killer Klowns from Outer Space
Ong Bak 2
First Knight
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There are Many who would disagree.
And Fifth Element?? Come on! That movie was all kinds of awesome!
They are all wrong. The Fifth Element is objectively bad, and enjoying it or defending it is a character fault which should be corrected or medicated.
You know I disliked that movie as a bad sci-fi movie for a long time, then one day I watched it and realized that it's a commedy pulling every cliche out of the sci-fi book (cmon the enemies name is Zerg for goodness sake) then suddenly I found myself actually really enjoying it and it's nonsensical over the top goodness.
2012 and The Core- Both wrong on a dizzying number of levels...
Any movie by Michael Bay- Especially Transformers 2
The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen- Ugh...
The Room- "Oh hai Paizo!"
Hey! I loved the first Transformers movie. I don't think the second was really "his fault" per se, I point my finger at the guy that he was working with, whose name escapes me at the time.
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What follows is my opinion only. YMMV of course.
The first Transformers film was a horrible joyless mess of a movie. It was as if someone said "insert 2 hours of orange and blue movie here" and went off to some Hollywood party to have a better time than he deserved.
It has no originality, no likeability and no soul. Instead of characterisation and plot you just get explosions. Shia Lewhatshisname is the least likable actor I have ever seen on screen. An annoying, gormless waste of carbon who is proof positive that it takes no talent to get anywhere in Hollywood. Foxy McFox is pretty but vacuous. Note to Hollywood! Having a very impressive rear is no excuse for a total absence of any form of characterisation! The rest of the characters are equally dumb being either cookie cutter inserts or obvious (and often offensive) stereotypes. Oh and the cinematography was embarrasingly cliched, the fights were pointless and hard to follow and the plot was laughable.
Watching either Transformers movie is the equivalent of someone slapping you round the face repeatedly with a 10lb fish covered in orange and blue paint whilst a homeless guy on crack screams in your ear and a corporate executive lights a cigar with £10 he's stolen from your wallet whilst laughing at your stupidity for inflicting this on yourself.
Experimental bowel surgery would have been preferable to this garbage. At least that doesn't last two hours.
I truly dispair of the average cinemagoer when Transformers makes half a billion dollars and the infinately superior Scott Pilgrim vs The World can't make its money back.
The average cinema goer deserves a punch in the face.
What follows is my opinion only. YMMV of course.
The first Transformers film was a horrible joyless mess of a movie. It was as if someone said "insert 2 hours of orange and blue movie here" and went off to some Hollywood party to have a better time than he deserved.
It has no originality, no likeability and no soul. Instead of characterisation and plot you just get explosions. Shia Lewhatshisname is the least likable actor I have ever seen on screen. An annoying, gormless waste of carbon who is proof positive that it takes no talent to get anywhere in Hollywood. Foxy McFox is pretty but vacuous. Note to Hollywood! Having a very impressive rear is no excuse for a total absence of any form of characterisation! The rest of the characters are equally dumb being either cookie cutter inserts or obvious (and often offensive) stereotypes. Oh and the cinematography was embarrasingly cliched, the fights were pointless and hard to follow and the plot was laughable.
Watching either Transformers movie is the equivalent of someone slapping you round the face repeatedly with a 10lb fish covered in orange and blue paint whilst a homeless guy on crack screams in your ear and a corporate executive lights a cigar with £10 he's stolen from your wallet whilst laughing at your stupidity for inflicting this on yourself.
Experimental bowel surgery would have been preferable to this garbage. At least that doesn't last two hours.
I truly dispair of the average cinemagoer when Transformers makes half a billion dollars and the infinately superior Scott Pilgrim vs The World can't make its money back.
The average cinema goer deserves a punch in the face.
I liked Scott Pilgrim, but I knew what it was going in- the average moviegoer didn't, and I don't hold them responsible for not wanting to spend a CONSIDERABLE amount of money and go see a movie that is essentially one gigantic reference to a comic that they did not know existed.
Any movie by Michael Bay- Especially Transformers 2I give Michael Bay a pass on Transformers 2. I blame the studio. They already had a release date set before they even started filming it. He and the writers had an outline and when it was approved it was right before the writers strike. The studio wanted to start filming so they used the outline. By the time the strike was over, they were almost done with filming. No one was happy with it. When it came time for the voice actors to get involved (post production), they were still writing the script.
One of the biggest problems I see with the studios right now is that they will set a release date and then make a movie.
+1 on the whole.
What follows is my opinion only. YMMV of course.
The first Transformers film was a horrible joyless mess of a movie. It was as if someone said "insert 2 hours of orange and blue movie here" and went off to some Hollywood party to have a better time than he deserved.
It has no originality, no likeability and no soul. Instead of characterisation and plot you just get explosions. Shia Lewhatshisname is the least likable actor I have ever seen on screen. An annoying, gormless waste of carbon who is proof positive that it takes no talent to get anywhere in Hollywood. Foxy McFox is pretty but vacuous. Note to Hollywood! Having a very impressive rear is no excuse for a total absence of any form of characterisation! The rest of the characters are equally dumb being either cookie cutter inserts or obvious (and often offensive) stereotypes. Oh and the cinematography was embarrasingly cliched, the fights were pointless and hard to follow and the plot was laughable.
Watching either Transformers movie is the equivalent of someone slapping you round the face repeatedly with a 10lb fish covered in orange and blue paint whilst a homeless guy on crack screams in your ear and a corporate executive lights a cigar with £10 he's stolen from your wallet whilst laughing at your stupidity for inflicting this on yourself.
Experimental bowel surgery would have been preferable to this garbage. At least that doesn't last two hours.
I truly dispair of the average cinemagoer when Transformers makes half a billion dollars and the infinately superior Scott Pilgrim vs The World can't make its money back.
The average cinema goer deserves a punch in the face.
While I disagree with the review I have to say that is one of the funniest reviews I have ever read.
As to the 'greatest' of Scott Pilgrimm vs the World....it was meh and very niche. I mean it had some amusing parts...but I really think it suffered from Mike Cerra(I think that is his name)...who does that one thing very well....but people are getting tired of it little. Also...like I said...all my geek friends told me how great it was...when I watched it...it was just ok...maybe I just don't have another geek cred.
Natural Born Killers.
+1000...All because of Oliver Stone...
I would have loved this movie if the guy who wrote it actualy had enough chops in Hollywood, at the time, to actualy direct it as well.
Maybe he do a remake of it..mmm...
Beyond a doubt, HOUSE OF THE DEAD.
Had me rolling with fits of laughter and we cheered when the heroes died. So bad... it was good in a way.
"Highlander 2" is definitely on the same level but less watchable. What were they thinking?
Zardoz sounds... really really bad.
Ummm... I really like Dodgeball. It was supposed to be a comedy, the intent was to be stupid/funny and it was hilarious. Mission accomplished. It's pretty much like any Ben Stiller movie.
Oh man, and I really like The Grudge, The Neverending Story (come on... it's a children's movie!), and Natural Born Killers. I highly doubt those are the worst movies people have actually seen. F***ing Transformers 2 was worse on more levels. Don't even get me started, lol.
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While I disagree with the review I have to say that is one of the funniest reviews I have ever read.
As to the 'greatest' of Scott Pilgrimm vs the World....it was meh and very niche. I mean it had some amusing parts...but I really think it suffered from Mike Cerra(I think that is his name)...who does that one thing very well....but...
I loved Scott Pilgrim. Totally awesome from start to finish but YMMV.
Thanks for the compliment. I take great pride in my rants :).
On to other things
The depressing thing about Highlander 2 is that it's not even the worst movie in the series. There are at least two worse Highlander movies and that is saying something. I mean how bad do you have to be to be worse than Highlander 2? Well watch Highlander: Endgame and find out kids!
There is a line between movies that on one hand are so mind blowingly inept on every level that they cross over into "So Bad It's Good" territory and on the other films that flat out make you want to smash your face into a wall.
So Bad it's Good: The Room, Manos: The Hands of Fate, Troll 2
So Bad it's Awful: Pearl Harbor, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Gigli
I think we have to make a distinction. Take the Room. It's bad, I mean really bad, a tidal wave of bad. But you know what? I need to own this movie. It is so spectacularly inept on almost every level that it takes on a charm of it's own. It is truly hilarious, Tommy Wiseau's first entrance, the scene in the flower shop, the throwaway cancer line, the "I did nahhht!" speech, "You're tearing me apart Lisa!" etc. etc. It's unintentional comedy gold and I can honestly say that it is one of the most enjoyable 2 hours I have had in recent months.
Any other "The Room" fans out there?
RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32, 2011 Top 16
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If you're a fan of truely horrible, bad, hillarious movies, then you should check out The Smithee Awards. The twentieth anniversay show is April 16th in Ann Arbor, MI.
I don't know about dumbest, but there are some pretty dumb ones:
The Thin Red Line. God that was terrible. "Hey, let's film a movie about the war in the pacific, but treat it like a Calvin Klein commercial." And you know, the Japanese were sure prone to trying like little girls in that one. Just saying.
Actually, Dragonborn, one guy called it a dragon, one correctly ID'd it as a basilisk and the DM called it a wyvern.
I think I still have JUST that scene recorded. Only part of the movie worth watching.
On topic: worst movies...hm. I don't remember it's name but there was this -thing- on SyFy involving meteorites being drawn to San Francisco due to a meteorite of the same material having formed the bay millenia ago.
I was just watching for the disaster/who's gonna live stuff when they described the path of the meteories swarms striking the Earth every three hours (just before they realized San Francisco had a big target painted on it).
The meteorite swarms were supposed to hit along the same latitude as San Francisco. They even mapped out the strike zones.
Across the USA.
Blink, blink...huh?
The Stupids Tom Arnold stars, need I say more.
Ecks vs Sever For an action movie with explosions going off very ten minutes its surprising how fast it will put you to sleep.
So Bad it's Awful: Pearl Harbor, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Gigli
Is Gigli the one where Maurice Chevalier sings "Thank Heaven for Little Girls"? I don't remember the movie being that great, but the song (if it's the right movie) sets off my "Discomfort-O-Meter" in ways that it originally wasn't meant to, and that's always appreciated.
I saw LXG twice. The first time I hated it, the second time I thought it was okay. That probably means that it's bad.
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Forgot to mention ET. It was the most boring 2 hours of candy coated crap ever made.
The Cube.
90 minutes of mind numbing stupidity, with the plot of 'some secret conspiracy built this entire fortress thing as some kind of experiment. Maybe. Becasue we're not telling you.
That's it Morris, you/me outside, now.
The Cube is great, and along with Splice it is one of the reasons i am actually happy that Vincenzo Natali is curently in the first stages of making Neuromancer.
Forgot to mention ET. It was the most boring 2 hours of candy coated crap ever made.
So,I am not alone in hating E.T. I also hate Close Encounters, which is almost as bad.
And for the worst film I have seen....
The live-action Justice League movie!!!
The only things worth watching in that film were the actresses who played Fire and Ice.
Imagine a movie where David Ogden Stiers dressed as the Martian Manhunter isn't the worst thing about the movie....
Yes it was that bad.
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The Cube.
90 minutes of mind numbing stupidity, with the plot of 'some secret conspiracy built this entire fortress thing as some kind of experiment. Maybe. Becasue we're not telling you.
That's it Morris, you/me outside, now.
The Cube is great, and along with Splice it is one of the reasons i am actually happy that Vincenzo Natali is curently in the first stages of making Neuromancer.
There are 2 sequels to cube. Well a sequel and a prequel. Cube 0 explains the most, including the origin of duditz
So Bad it's Awful: Pearl Harbor, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Gigli
Is Gigli the one where Maurice Chevalier sings "Thank Heaven for Little Girls"? I don't remember the movie being that great, but the song (if it's the right movie) sets off my "Discomfort-O-Meter" in ways that it originally wasn't meant to, and that's always appreciated.
No, that's Gigi.
Gigli is the Ben Affleck/Jenifer Lopez mobster, 'I'm a lesbian but you're so hot I'll change' travesty.
So Bad it's Awful: Pearl Harbor, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Gigli
Is Gigli the one where Maurice Chevalier sings "Thank Heaven for Little Girls"? I don't remember the movie being that great, but the song (if it's the right movie) sets off my "Discomfort-O-Meter" in ways that it originally wasn't meant to, and that's always appreciated.
I saw LXG twice. The first time I hated it, the second time I thought it was okay. That probably means that it's bad.
Good try but that was 'Gigi'
Gigli was the Bennifer abomination..why do people keep telling Ben Affleck he can act?
Okay... I have a serious built-up tolerance to horrible movies. Even so, some stand out, and it usually isn't the low-budget ones...
Volcano. The (I'm serious here) ONLY good part of it was the tagline: The coast is toast. EVERYTHING else about this movie makes me sick. From precision drops of entire skyscrapers done in minutes, to guy melting in lava scene, to rolling ball showing slope, to toxicly horrible morals, this drek-fest has something to crawl up everyone's butt.
Throne of fire. This rare-to-find movie tries to play on being a sexy fantasy movie. It manages boring, and only that. The special effects are stupendously bad, a crone disappearing suddenly makes the other guy in the scene flick instantly into another pose.
Most college movies. Explanations should be superfluous, I think.
Dungeons & Dragons. I wish I had anything to add. The SHEER GALL of letting a beholder get distracted by FLINGING A ROCK!!! It has GENIUS LEVEL INTELLIGENCE!!!
...hrm. Yeah. (/nerd rage)
Dungeons & Dragons. I wish I had anything to add. The SHEER GALL of letting a beholder get distracted by FLINGING A ROCK!!! It has GENIUS LEVEL INTELLIGENCE!!!...hrm. Yeah. (/nerd rage)
That was bad. And it was only part of the film's bad sides.
The film took some shapes from the game. Not even monsters, since they were nothing like the D&D counterparts. The Beholder in Futurama was more Beholder than the one in that film.
And while I could understand ignoring pretty much all "D&D lore" and the actual D&D fans in order to make the film appealing to a broader audience, that film manages to be unappealing to that audience, too, since it's so badly written and dead boring.