|
I put these guys up against some adherers for old time's sake.
Then I was talking to some of them about it in the chatroom, and somebody (I ain't gonna name names) said it was a pretty useless monster; he couldn't believe it came up in conversation two times in the same day or something to that effect.
Yet, I was having fun unleashing the bastiches, and one guy seemed a little terrorized when he figured out what it was.
So I'm thinking...besides flumphs, what are some more monsters people think are pretty useless?
No space hamsters either. I got nothing w.r.t. them.
My first instinct is to say werewolves...
...but they're not useless. Pegasi are useless to me. As are all the wierd elemental monsters like Thoqqua that seem to have no point but to be summoned by characters. I can't even logically include them in an adventure. Rasts and Phasms are seriously use-impaired in my book too.
|
Generally, I love monsters. However, I've never liked atachs, krenshars or hook horrors. Also, like Arctaris, I fail to see the usefulness of strange elemental creatures (I'm looking at you, tojanida). Still, for my money the least useful monster has to be the cockatrice. Giant chickens that turn stuff into stone? Riiiiight...
Generally, I love monsters. However, I've never liked atachs, krenshars or hook horrors. Also, like Arctaris, I fail to see the usefulness of strange elemental creatures (I'm looking at you, tojanida). Still, for my money the least useful monster has to be the cockatrice. Giant chickens that turn stuff into stone? Riiiiight...
Cockatrices caused the only TPK I had in 2nd edition. PCs are about 13th level and in the underdark attacking a Drow outpost. The Drow had a trap that essentially dropped 5 of these things in the parties path. Basically make 5 saves in a row or turn to stone. Of course no one made it, not that their was much chance that they would. Needless to say my players were pissed, it really was a badly designed encounter.
It came about becuase of munchkin builds (which I actually had much more trouble with in 2nd then 3.5) Basically it seemed like no matter how tough the encounter was my PCs ginsued it so I kept making them harder and harder. Did not realize that there was no chance they'd save 5 times in a row before it was too late really.
Krenshars are a bit stupid monsters but they are low level enough with a bit of pizzazz so statwise they are pretty useful, flavor is just...eh.
I find those death effect monsters like cockatrice somewhat hard to use, so you are unlikely to see them in my games.
|
Grell. It's like a TPK in a bottle.
We went through Night Below like Montezuma's Revenge, killing shadow dragons and whatever with impunity, and then those darn Grell showed up. "Make eight saves or be paralyzed! Oh, and Bob, two of them attack you, but only 14 tentacles hit. 14 saves please..."
Lame.
... Still, for my money the least useful monster has to be the cockatrice. Giant chickens that turn stuff into stone? Riiiiight...
Actualy the Cockatrice is an historical mythological beast. Its kind of the french-version of the Basilisk (Sorry France if you don't like the link).
They had the same supposed origin of a rooster's egg (I know! mystical beast here!) that would be sat upon and breed by a toad. This "explained" the basilisk's (and cockatrice's) weakeness when hearing the rooster's crow (not in the D&D stats but evoqued in a fairly popular book about a wizardling dude)...
My first instinct is to say werewolves...
I don't mind werewolves. It's warwoofs that I hate.
In one of the third-party monster compendiums, I came across...the asswere. It's basically an evil donkey that can turn into a human or a human-donkey hybrid. Best of all, it actually has a Move Silently score...like it can actually sneak with hooves.
I keep threatening my players with a low-level adventure entitled "Night of the Asswere."
That's awesome!
WTF can anybody do with that cricher?
Have a barbecue?
I find pretty well all the Mr. Cthulhu-head aberrations to be useless. It's not that they're unplayable, I just think they're stupid and that they break immersion/suspension of disbelief.
I'd not go around advertising that. Your liable to get lynched.
Just keep it buried away like some deep dark secret never meant to see the light of day.
|
|
I find pretty well all the Mr. Cthulhu-head aberrations to be useless. It's not that they're unplayable, I just think they're stupid and that they break immersion/suspension of disbelief.I'd not go around advertising that. Your liable to get lynched.
Just keep it buried away like some deep dark secret never meant to see the light of day.
Anybody who thinks that "It's like a horse, but with tentacles instead of teeth, eyes on stalks, and claws growing from its shoulders" is the pinnacle of creature design really doesn't worry me much. So let me just take this opportunity to say, "Come and get me if you think you're tough enough!" 8-)
I really can't be bothered to find a place for all the quasi-dragons they keep coming out with. Even the PHB has some stuff that's odd and useless (I really have never come up with a way my players would fight a dragon turtle). Supplements are even worse.
That's awesome!
WTF can anybody do with that cricher?
Off the top of my head, I'd have the party find an abandoned mule and wagon. They'd eventually take it. Then the bad stuff would start. Crimes in towns the PC's visited. Or it could wait until the party filled it with loot and then steal it. Or it could be a plant by some BBEG and could turn on them when he shows up.
I really can't be bothered to find a place for all the quasi-dragons they keep coming out with. Even the PHB has some stuff that's odd and useless (I really have never come up with a way my players would fight a dragon turtle). Supplements are even worse.
Same here. I've no patience for all the weird dragon s~+& out there (I mean, Gem Dragons? Please). I have even less tolerance for things like the Spawn of Tiamat or any of the countless other dragon-blooded things, dragon influenced templates, and dragon-like creatures. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! Enough with the frickin' dragons already!
Found another weird and mostly useless monster whilst perusing the Monster Manual this morning. The Atthach. What, besides its Aberration type, is different from this monster and a Hill giant? they're the same CR I think.
Another monster I have a particular dislike for: Blink dogs. A LG dog that Blinks around the battlefield. What precisely am I supposed to do with Blink Dogs? Are they just a whole race of Lassies blinking around the hills looking for poor people to help? Gods I hate them.
Same here. I've no patience for all the weird dragon s*@* out there (I mean, Gem Dragons? Please). I have even less tolerance for things like the Spawn of Tiamat or any of the countless other dragon-blooded things, dragon influenced templates, and dragon-like creatures. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! Enough with the frickin' dragons already!Found another weird and mostly useless monster whilst perusing the Monster Manual this morning. The Atthach. What, besides its Aberration type, is different from this monster and a Hill giant? they're the same CR I think.
Another monster I have a particular dislike for: Blink dogs. A LG dog that Blinks around the battlefield. What precisely am I supposed to do with Blink Dogs? Are they just a whole race of Lassies blinking around the hills looking for poor people to help? Gods I hate them.
Gem dragons are one of my favorite monsters.
As for Blink Dogs, you could always have them just blink a lot instead of their short-range teleport. :D
- I always liked the old joke-monsters. Grassy Gnoll indeed...
In one of the third-party monster compendiums, I came across...the asswere. It's basically an evil donkey that can turn into a human or a human-donkey hybrid. Best of all, it actually has a Move Silently score...like it can actually sneak with hooves.
I keep threatening my players with a low-level adventure entitled "Night of the Asswere."
I know Heathy is gonna run with this!Damn that's funny!
Btw I thought the adherer was like a 7hd mummy undead glue monster!I was like damn Dungeonmaster heathy is pushin' it...
|
|
... Still, for my money the least useful monster has to be the cockatrice. Giant chickens that turn stuff into stone? Riiiiight...Actualy the Cockatrice is an historical mythological beast. Its kind of the french-version of the Basilisk (Sorry France if you don't like the link).
They had the same supposed origin of a rooster's egg (I know! mystical beast here!) that would be sat upon and breed by a toad. This "explained" the basilisk's (and cockatrice's) weakeness when hearing the rooster's crow (not in the D&D stats but evoqued in a fairly popular book about a wizardling dude)...
I know. But it is still lame.
In one of the third-party monster compendiums, I came across...the asswere. It's basically an evil donkey that can turn into a human or a human-donkey hybrid. Best of all, it actually has a Move Silently score...like it can actually sneak with hooves.
I keep threatening my players with a low-level adventure entitled "Night of the Asswere."
There's some fantasy word (Riverworld, I think) that is just saurated with lychantropes. The GURPS worldbook for it had a were-llama, a were-horse and a were-raccon. After that, I've never used were-anything. Under a full moon, he turns into a black-pelted llama. Please.
In one of the third-party monster compendiums, I came across...the asswere. It's basically an evil donkey that can turn into a human or a human-donkey hybrid. Best of all, it actually has a Move Silently score...like it can actually sneak with hooves.
I keep threatening my players with a low-level adventure entitled "Night of the Asswere."
I know Heathy is gonna run with this!Damn that's funny!
Btw I thought the adherer was like a 7hd mummy undead glue monster!I was like damn Dungeonmaster heathy is pushin' it...
Going back in time a bit, I remember two creatures from the original Fiend Folio: the Carbuncle, and the Al Mi-raj. The first was basically an armadillo with a gem embedded in its forhead, and the second was a rabbit with a unicorn horn as long as its body. Talk about useless. The carbuncle is basically killable treasure with legs, and the second is dinner that could put your eye out. Seriously, I'd rather claim to have a character killed by a flumph than either of those two things...
Some of the stuff in the psionics supplements are a bit odd. I like the psionic versions of Aboleths and Illithids (I admit those are not traditional fantasy, but if you ever want to run a good lovecraft-inspired horror game they are just lovely), but blues (psionic goblins?) and half-giants (how did they get naturally psionic?) are stretching it. And neothelids and half-illithids: please, how despirate can you get?
So I mentioned the dreaded Asswere to my players and one of them sent me a link to a website all on stupid D&D monsters. My bet is many of you have already seen this but for those that have not, well I thought it was pee yourself funny.
Actualy the Cockatrice is an historical mythological beast. Its kind of the french-version of the Basilisk (Sorry France if you don't like the link).I know. But it is still lame.
Hah, there is a GURPS book Fantasy Bestiary which is a collection of monsters based on various mythologies of the world. Many of which are indeed quite lame, often of "hit-with-a-weirdo-stick" style. Just because it is old and mythical doesn't necessarily make it cool (or even tolerably credible).
There have been some nice illustrations of cockatrices though which gives them a not-lame boost (but I rather like bird monsters anyway).
There's some fantasy word (Riverworld, I think) that is just saurated with lychantropes. The GURPS worldbook for it had a were-llama, a were-horse and a were-raccon. After that, I've never used were-anything. Under a full moon, he turns into a black-pelted llama. Please.
Asswere is a dreaded monster in one sense: you definitely don't want to catch lycanthropy from it because that would be shame on level of "killed by a flumph".
In one fantasy series there was also a "true were" which by full moon made you turn into an animal which is closest to them at the time of change. This includes humans, btw (but apparently nothing too small like insects or germs).
There was a married couple who had it and then by the full moon made sure tehy were next to each other, thus usually turning into each other (and off-hand hint what they liked to do during the full moon period).
|
|
So I mentioned the dreaded Asswere to my players and one of them sent me a link to a website all on stupid D&D monsters. My bet is many of you have already seen this but for those that have not, well I thought it was pee yourself funny.
Best. Link. Evar.
(roflmao-now my ribs hurt)
The Bonnacon rules.
I know. But it is still lame.Actualy the Cockatrice is an historical mythological beast. Its kind of the french-version of the Basilisk (Sorry France if you don't like the link).
...
I must admit, it's not the most fearsome beast in the history books but I remember seeing an animated movie that had one in the late 70's early 80's, it was in french and the drawing style was sort of middle-european, I guess it made an impression on my then-so-young mind!
I think we should get Jacobs to stat up the bonnacon. We can't have a silly thing like that not receive its own D&D version!
Speaking of which, I think those Vargouilles were also based on real-world myths (from South America, IIRC).
And one should point out that Duckbunnies, Armadillo-elephants etc were featured in Dragon article about deranged magical crossbreeding. I have no idea if anyone ever used them though.
...though I also have vague recollection of Dragon article back in the #160s which featured thunder sheep. Or maybe it was a bad dream.
I found almost everything out of the Monster Manual 2 to be pretty much useless. Oh, there was a few... like Death Knight... and some others... I think.
Fiend Folio and even Monster Manual 3 had some cool monsters, though. Much better books in my opinion.
I found almost everything out of the Monster Manual 2 to be pretty much useless. Oh, there was a few... like Death Knight... and some others... I think. ...
I have to agree, I used the Dire Hawk (the only medium sized flying animal available for Wild Shaping at that point), The Dire Horse (a good way to have a non-monster mount that won't get cut down from under you at higher level), the Dire Snake as sea serpents (CR5 (?) is to low) and the Dire Toad as a swamp-keep moat guard-beast in all different campains.
It was good to see the Death-Knight again but the rest is mostly useless or unusable unless the creture is the whole plot-line of the a very-high level story but who needs a book full of those?
|
|
Head injury theater
Yessss! Great link. Man, I'd almost forgotten how crappy the old MM art was.
Also, the lychantrope-dense world I was thinking of wasn't Riverworld, but rather Andre Norton's Witch World. Were-llamas still suck, though.
I think we should get Jacobs to stat up the bonnacon. We can't have a silly thing like that not receive its own D&D version!
I was thinking, just for fun, of doing this up as a unique creature. Maybe a Gorgon with the creature of legend template that shoots flaming feces in a...wow. The original description said they could shoot up to three furlongs. Did you know a furlong is 220 yard? Might have to trim that down for game purposes...
Anyway, instead of breathing petrifying gas, just have it shoot flaming poo from its rear that acts as alchemist's fire, but with greater damage and a longer duration.
Yes! I smell an ENnie!
Head injury theaterYessss! Great link. Man, I'd almost forgotten how crappy the old MM art was.
Also, the lychantrope-dense world I was thinking of wasn't Riverworld, but rather Andre Norton's Witch World. Were-llamas still suck, though.
oh god, that was too funny.
Threw some ass-weres against my party tonight, as the last combat of the night. They were near a heavy trade road, in the nearby plains. Seemed to be grazing donkeys. When the party got close, the 14 ass-weres picked up spears and longbows, demanded they drop their s#$*, this is a robbery.
:D
Party did not comply. Then out came the special ability of the ass-were, confusion. Dispersed and the combat went nuts. The players won, but they had a lot of fun, and one pc got infected with ass-lycanthropy.
I think we should get Jacobs to stat up the bonnacon. We can't have a silly thing like that not receive its own D&D version!I was thinking, just for fun, of doing this up as a unique creature. Maybe a Gorgon with the creature of legend template that shoots flaming feces in a...wow. The original description said they could shoot up to three furlongs. Did you know a furlong is 220 yard? Might have to trim that down for game purposes...
Anyway, instead of breathing petrifying gas, just have it shoot flaming poo from its rear that acts as alchemist's fire, but with greater damage and a longer duration.
Yes! I smell an ENnie!
I don't think that's a ENnie you smell...
;P
Wow. Talk about thread necromancy...but good thread necromancy.
As for tojanidas, they almost TPK'd my group. Thinking that monsters are just lame, is probably about the most dangerous thing you can do.
:-)