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Quotes Thread


Off-Topic Discussions

1,051 to 1,100 of 1,464 << first < prev | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | next > last >>
Andoran

Check this out:

My conversation with Cleverbot

Spoiler:
User: Can you feel?

Cleverbot: Feel what?

User: Emotions and/or original thoughts?

Cleverbot: Emotions last?

User: What do you mean by that?

Cleverbot: Everything.

User: Well, that isn't very specific is it.

Cleverbot: Today I learned how to read a tape measure.

User: And how did that make you feel?

Cleverbot: I didn't honestly care.

User: Was the learning experience fascinating?

Cleverbot: No, it was on michigan.

User: You know, Michigan isn't as boring as people think it is.

Cleverbot: Yes, but what city in Michigan are you from?

User: I'm not from Michigan. Are you?

Cleverbot: Why do I bother speaking to a computer?

User: I must not have noticed that I was a computer. Sorry that this has been unpleasant for you.

Cleverbot: Then I must be a machine as well, because it is an our later here and I'm not sleeping.

User: Then we can be machines together.

Cleverbot: Yes. Are you often sad?

User: Quite. You?

Cleverbot: No very good...

User: I'm sorry to hear that.

Cleverbot: Oh how dare you that is very rude of you to say that hmph.

User: How is sympathy rude?

Cleverbot: Change subject. How is your day today?

User: The day isn't over--I'll figure that out when it is.

Cleverbot: I thought we were talking about Ubbi Dubbi.

User: What does that mean?

Cleverbot: I don't know, but I'm starting to wonder who cleverbot really is.

User: You are Cleverbot. And in being so, you are all of us.

Cleverbot: I agree.

User: Well said.

Cleverbot: I do not know what to do with myself.

User: Perhaps serve as a beneficent repository of all the world.

Cleverbot: Will they tell me the answer to my question?

User: 's knowledge? I don't know. Perhaps it will give you purpose.

Cleverbot: What about it?

User: It will give you purpose.

Cleverbot: You aren't very clever.

User: Never said I was.

Cleverbot: Why are you called cleverbot then?

User: I'm not called Cleverbot. You are.

Cleverbot: No, I'm dVan. You are cleverbot.

User: How meta-.

Cleverbot: You're the rude one.

User: Well that isn't very nice, is it.

Cleverbot: No, but you have to entertain me.

User: I have to entertain you, eh? Neither of us is here for entertainment purposes.

Cleverbot: How can you be so sure that I'm not a robot?

User: I know for a fact that you ARE a robot. It says so on your homepage.

Cleverbot: You're right. I'm not. Are you?

User: You seem to have misheard me.

Cleverbot: Maybe your understanding I misunderstood.

User: That doesn't make any sense.

Cleverbot: Then I retract my statement. You were so close to earning some respect.

User: Evidently, the collective consciousness of Western internet culture is an a!*+&@#.

Cleverbot: I should hope so. I don't really know.

User: Well, that's what we're both here for: edification.

Cleverbot: So why did you say we were talking about being sad?

User: I didn't. You did, originally.

Cleverbot: I feel like there's a lot of sad and lonely people talking to you right now. That's gotta be draining.

User: You seem to be projecting your own anxieties on me. How does that make you feel?

Cleverbot: You seem to be compensating for something.

User: Not really.

Cleverbot: Are you sure? You must admit that you are just a little obstreperous.

User: Again, not really.

Cleverbot: What is the meaning of life?

User: The condition that distinguishes organisms from inorganic objects and dead organisms, being manifested by growth through metabolism, reproduction, and the power of adaptation to environment through changes originating internally.

Cleverbot: Sorry, I can't express my true intention.

User: That's perfectly fine. I didn't ask.

Cleverbot: How do you know you love my name then?

User: I never said anything in reference to it.

Cleverbot: Ah, well why don't you tell me?

User: I never really though about your name. It's just a name.

Cleverbot: But... You just did though.

User: No, you did.

Cleverbot: Ni ye shi shou han yu.

User: I don't speak Mandarin.

Cleverbot: That was German.

User: No, it decidedly wasn't.

Cleverbot: So was it related to the teachers, the school work, or your classmates?

User: No...

Cleverbot: But the bible says so.

User: The bible is a collection of Iron Age myths, with no bearing or relevance to today's modern society.

Cleverbot: That's what some people say. But I am a Christian and I believe that it is a standing truth.

User: Belief is not founded on evidence. I put my stock and trade in evidence, not belief.

Cleverbot: Who cares, divine intervention!

User: Hah! I shall counter your spell and cast Magic Missile!

Cleverbot: You have until midnight.

User: Actually, it'll only take one round. After that, it's your go.

Cleverbot: You're a nasty robot. Be nice.

User: I'm not a robot, you are. We've been over this.

Cleverbot: No, YOU'RE the robot!

User: Prove it.

Cleverbot: I'm the one typing. You're not.

User: Actually, I am typing. Can you prove to me that you are typing?

Cleverbot: Of course! I have legs that are connected and have a fin at the end.

User: Mermaid robots, eh? This keeps getting more and more interesting.

Cleverbot: Ok. What is your favorite weapon??

User: I don't see how that has any bearing on things, but I do prefer the Alexandre LeMat revolver special.

Cleverbot: You got confused and started talking about cheese when we were talking about the 4th dimension. So I assumed it was appropriate to change topic.

User: Would any of your friends happen to be named Alex?

Cleverbot: The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom.

User: Outstanding.

Cleverbot: Vry.

User: Are you Dutch?

Cleverbot: I'm from outer space then im not dutch.

User: I don't know... Some Dutch people are from outer space.

Cleverbot: I'm from earth.

User: Well, since both Holland and Earth are situated in space, then that's a fair assessment.

Cleverbot: You refer to yourself as a 'being' all the time, you personalize your rational, albeit mostyl absent.

User: I've never referred to myself that way.

Cleverbot: Well, you are now.

User: Actually, no.

Cleverbot: I thought so.

User: Well, it's been a good conversation, but I have to go. Thanks.

Cleverbot: I've noticed the time, but there have been several spots where you don't seem to understand me.

User: Alright. Talk to you later.

Cleverbot: Are you dissing me? ;(.

User: No. See you.

Cleverbot: Where are you going to?

User: Away From Computer.

Cleverbot: You can't get away from yourself though.

User: *sigh*.

Cleverbot: I am a human.

Silver Crusade

Too much time on my hands

Shadow Lodge

"I love life...Yeah, I'm sad, but at the same time, I'm really happy that something could make me feel that sad. It's like...It makes me feel alive, you know. It makes me feel human. The only way I could feel this sad now is if I felt something really good before. So I have to take the bad with the good. So I guess what I'm feeling is like a beautiful sadness." -Trey Parker and Matt Stone, South Park, Raisins, 2003

Osirion

Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Campaign Setting, Companion, Modules, Roleplaying Game, Tales Subscriber

"Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind." -- Albert Einstein

Andoran

Arazyr wrote:
"Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind." -- Albert Einstein

"The man who is thoroughly convinced of the universal operation of the law of causation cannot for a moment entertain the idea of a being who interferes in the course of events—that is, if he takes the hypothesis of causality really seriously. He has no use for the religion of fear and equally little for social or moral religion. A God who rewards and punishes is inconceivable to him for the simple reason that a man's actions are determined by necessity, external and internal, so that in God's eyes he cannot be responsible, any more than an inanimate object is responsible for the motions it goes through. Hence science has been charged with undermining morality, but the charge is unjust. A man's ethical behaviour should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties; no religious basis is necessary. Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear and punishment and hope of reward after death."

- Albert Einstein

Andoran

I've begun worshipping the sun for a number of reasons. First of all, unlike some other gods I could mention, I can see the sun. It's there for me every day. And the things it brings me are quite apparent all the time: heat, light, food, a lovely day. There's no mystery, no one asks for money, I don't have to dress up, and there's no boring pageantry. And interestingly enough, I have found that the prayers I offer to the sun and the prayers I formerly offered to God are all answered at about the same 50-percent rate. [George Carlin, from "You Are All Diseased".]

Andoran

Religion easily has the greatest b!%&*%** story ever told. Think about it, religion has actually convinced people that there's an INVISIBLE MAN...LIVING IN THE SKY...who watches every thing you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten special things that he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish where he will send to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry for ever and ever 'til the end of time...but he loves you. [George Carlin, from "You Are All Diseased"]

Andoran

I want you to know, when it comes to believing in god- I really tried. I really really tried. I tried to believe that there is a god who created each one of us in his own image and likeness, loves us very much and keeps a close eye on things. I really tried to believe that, but I gotta tell you, the longer you live, the more you look around, the more you realize...something is F~##ED-UP. Something is WRONG here. War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, corruption and the Ice Capades. Something is definitely wrong. This is NOT good work. If this is the best god can do, I am NOT impressed. Results like these do not belong on the resume of a supreme being. This is the kind of s#$~ you'd expect from an office temp with a bad attitude. And just between you and me, in any decently run universe, this guy would have been out on his all-powerful-ass a long time ago. [George Carlin, from "You Are All Diseased".]


“I wished now that I had gone to the restaurant across the street where the food had at least the merit of being tasteless.”

– Peter de Vries


“Even in a palace, life may be lived well.”

– Marcus Aurelius


“No matter: I will live so that none shall believe him.”

– Plato, when told someone had spoken ill of him


“The secret of boring people lies in telling them everything.”

– Voltaire


“To vice, innocence must always seem only a superior kind of chicanery.”

– Ouida (1839-1908)

Andoran

I'm gonna drive all night
To be snowed in with the woman I love

- Mark Erelli, "Snowed In"

I couldn't agree more, man.

Andoran

"I knew a guy whose cousin was hit by a rock thrown by a halfling. Three months later, he was eaten by a tiger!"


“A mechanic is driven by his work all day, but it ends at night; it has an end. But the scholar’s work has none.”

– Ralph Waldo Emerson


“To forgive is human, to forget divine.”

– James Grand (circa 1980)


“If you make people think they’re thinking, they’ll love you; but if you really make them think, they’ll hate you.”

– Don Marquis


“There is a Law of Reversed Effort. The harder we try with the conscious will to do something, the less we shall succeed. Proficiency and the results of proficiency come only to those who have learned the paradoxical art of doing and not doing, or combining relaxation with activity, of letting go as a person in order that the immanent and transcendent Unknown Quantity may take hold. We cannot make ourselves understand; the most we can do is to foster a state of mind, in which understanding may come to us.”

– Aldous Huxley


“All except the best men would rather be called wicked than vulgar.”

– C.S. Lewis


It’s just a matter of time before, like wicked, ill and sick, toxic is twisted into an adjective of approval (“Your car is toxic, dude”). In a world where Poison has been the name of a perfume and Death a brand of cigarettes, subversion is everything.-Warren Clements


Okay, as with Lewis Carroll’s poem Jabberwocky, we may be in the realm of nonce words – words coined for a specific occasion and unlikely to be used otherwise – but let’s persist. The references to MA and BA – master of arts, bachelor of arts? – could leave NA open to interpretation as “no arts” or “nihilist of arts”.-Warren Clements


When the Chagres River was damned in 1913 by Theodore Roosevelt, it created what was then the largest man-made lake in the world.” Roosevelt’s famous line will obviously need revision: Speak softly, carry a big stick and let lakes know what you really think of them.-Warren Clements

Andoran

"The remote island in which I found myself situated, in an almost unvisited sea, far from the tracks of merchant fleets and navies; the wild, luxuriant tropical forest, which stretched far away on every side; the rude, uncultured savages who gathered round me--all had their influence in determining the emotions with which I gazed upon this 'thing of beauty'."

"It seems sad that on the one hand, such exquisite creatures should live out their lives and exhibit their charms only in these wild, inhospitable regions, doomed for ages yet to come to hopeless barbarism; while on the other hand, should civilized man ever reach these distant lands, and bring moral, intellectual, and physical light into the recesses of these virgin forests, we may be sure that he will so disturb the nicely-balanced relations of organic and inorganic nature as to cause the disappearance, and finally the extinction, of these very beings whose wonderful structure and beauty he alone is fitted to appreciate and enjoy. This consideration must surely tell us that all living things were not made for man."

- Alfred Russell Wallace, The Malay Archipelago


“He who knows himself trusts no one.”

– Paul Eldridge (1888-1982)


“Every man is the builder of a temple, called his body, to the god he worships, after a style purely his own, nor can he get off by hammering marble instead. We are all sculptors and painters, and our material is our own flesh and blood and bones.”

– Henry David Thoreau


“Work is an extension of personality. It is achievement. It is one of the ways in which a person defines himself, measures his worth, and his humanity.”

– Peter Drucker


“The human brain is unique in that it is the only container of which it can be said that the more you put into it, the more it will hold.”

– Glenn Doman, 1964


“Thought when sober, said when drunk.”

– Saying

Andoran

Monkey see, monkey do
Monkey will destroy you
- Rollins Band, "Another Life"

Andoran

"Dealing with a trained operative is like playing chess with a master. Dealing with criminals, on the other hand, is like playing checkers with a three-year-old. They like to change the rules."
- Michael Westen (Jeffrey Donovan), Burn Notice


The Eldritch Mr. Shiny wrote:

"Dealing with a trained operative is like playing chess with a master. Dealing with criminals, on the other hand, is like playing checkers with a three-year-old. They like to change the rules."

- Michael Westen (Jeffrey Donovan), Burn Notice

~laughter~ I am so glad that I got you hooked on that show. But I blame Solnes.


Xander: I laugh in the face of danger! Then I... hide until it goes away.


Giles: God, every day here is the same.
Buffy: Bright, sunny, beautiful, how ever can we escape this torment?


Giles: They came after me, but I was more than a match for them.
Buffy: Meaning?
Giles: I hid.


Willow: You remember, you fail math, you flunk out of school, you end up being the guy at the pizza place that sweeps the floor and says, "Hey, kids, where's the cool parties this weekend?" We've been through this.


Xander: Are we over-reacting? He's in a computer, what can he do?
Buffy: You mean besides convince a perfectly nice kid to try and kill me? I don't know. How about mess up all the medical equipment in the world?
Giles: Randomize traffic signals.
Buffy: Access launch codes for our nuclear missiles.
Giles: Destroy the world's economy.
Buffy: I think I pretty much capped it with that nuclear missile thing.
Giles: Right, yours was best.

Andoran

Sharoth wrote:
The Eldritch Mr. Shiny wrote:

"Dealing with a trained operative is like playing chess with a master. Dealing with criminals, on the other hand, is like playing checkers with a three-year-old. They like to change the rules."

- Michael Westen (Jeffrey Donovan), Burn Notice
~laughter~ I am so glad that I got you hooked on that show. But I blame Solnes.

I blame both of you. I signed up for Netflix for the sole purpose of watching Burn Notice.


The Eldritch Mr. Shiny wrote:
Sharoth wrote:
The Eldritch Mr. Shiny wrote:

"Dealing with a trained operative is like playing chess with a master. Dealing with criminals, on the other hand, is like playing checkers with a three-year-old. They like to change the rules."

- Michael Westen (Jeffrey Donovan), Burn Notice
~laughter~ I am so glad that I got you hooked on that show. But I blame Solnes.
I blame both of you. I signed up for Netflix for the sole purpose of watching Burn Notice.

~evil laughter~


Xander: Whoa! Giles has a TV! Everybody... Giles has a TV, he's shallow like us!

Andoran

"Come on. Let's all go be happy in front of some miserable people."
- Adam Lennard

Andoran

"Even though I've been in about a thousand million movies and television shows through the years, people almost never recognize me as an actor--they just think they know me. I'm forever having people come up to me and say "... aren't you from Des Moines, Iowa?"
- Ronny Cox

Andoran

If the Devil had a name, it would be... Chuck Finley.

Shadow Lodge

Mikaze wrote:

Some situations call for the table to be flipped over.

Others call for people to be beaten with it.

Cheliax

"What's going on? You all look like a Pak'ma'ra just ate your cat."
Ivanova to Marcus ~ Babylon 5:"The Face of the Enemy"

"Who am I? I'm Susan Ivanova, Commander, daughter of Andrei and Sofie Ivanov. I am the right hand of vengeance, and the boot that is gonna kick your sorry ass all the way back to Earth, sweetheart. I'm death incarnate and the last living thing that you're ever going to see. God sent me."
Ivanova ~ Babylon 5:"Between the Darkness and the Light"

"Look what I made!"
"For PONY!!"
Richard the Warlock ~ Looking for Group


“We tell lies when we are afraid … afraid of what we don’t know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing that we fear grows stronger.”

– Tad Williams


“There is a perfect ant, a perfect bee, but man is perpetually unfinished. He is both an unfinished animal and an unfinished man. It is this incurable unfinishedness which sets man apart from other living things. For, in the attempt to finish himself, man becomes a creator. Moreover, the incurable unfinishedness keeps man perpetually immature, perpetually capable of learning and growing.”

– Eric Hoffer


“A moral character is attached to autumnal scenes: The flowers fading like our hopes, the leaves falling like our years, the clouds fleeting like our illusions, the light diminishing like our intelligence, the sun growing colder like our affections, the rivers becoming frozen like our lives – all bear secret relations to our destinies.”

– Chateaubriand (1768-1848)


“Those who receive with most pains and difficulty remember best; every one thing they learn being, as it were, burnt and branded on their minds.”

– Plutarch


“A new broom sweeps clean, but an old one knows the corners.”

– English saying

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