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Samuel Kisko

Round 1: Migrus Locker
Round 2: Yithnai
Round 3: Fleshstripping in Zopotishto

Yithnai


Round 2 - Top 32: Design a Country

1 to 50 of 74 << first < prev | 1 | 2 | next > last >>
RPG Superstar 2008 Top 16 , Marathon Voter 2013 aka Core

Yithnai

"The Black Ziggurats of Yithnai stand as the ill-told seat of the Sundered Prince, Consort-on-Earth of the Black Twin, the Dead Goddess Yith."

Alignment:NE/CE

Capital: Yithnai (pop. 43,600)

Notable Settlements: Akkaid (pop. 7,500), Achaemein (pop. 4,300)

Ruler: Seleucid the Sundered Prince, Consort-on-Earth of the Black Twin, the Dead Goddess Yith.

Government: Kleptocracy, whereby citizens exchange labor, personal rights, wealth, and darker tributes for status and protection. The Sundered Prince presides as the divine fountainhead of power within Yithnai.

Resources: Iron, salt, peat.

Religions: Many factions of Yithite clergy.

Description: Yithnai is an oppressive realm named after the mad goddess Yith, the Dark Side of the Moon, who eternally struggles with her twin, Zyga of the Silver Moon. Yithnai is geographically centered on a great caldera lake, and the surrounding region is rife with badlands and heated bogs. The wilds of Yithnai are rocky and scarred with red and orange canyons, and dense patches of flabby, alkaline vegetation adorn the canyon floors and high plateaus. The badlands occasionally give way to steaming peat bogs and cracked salt flats. Yithnai is landlocked bordered to the south by her ever-sworn foes in Thaen, masses of feral barbarians to her east, and to the west the goblin realm of Thrallut with its barren slagheaps.

Yithnai is perpetually embroiled in border skirmishes with Thaen, whose feudal lords honor the Church of Zyga. The border region between the two realms is called “The Arsalude”, a bitterly contested series of valleys between the mountain ranges of Trefol and Vologe. Both Yithnai and Thaen claim these lands, but in truth, only the goblins of Thrallut have settled here in recent times. The land’s bloodiest and most vicious wars were fought in The Arsalude, and it is said that the Sundered Prince seeks not to truly defeat Thaen, but to simply maintain the constant bloodshed.

The eternal feuding influences many aspects of both realms. Whereas Thaen employs a regimented feudal caste system to consolidate power, Yithnai turns increasingly toward forgotten and taboo magic. The many sects of dread Yithite clergy hold transitory power within Yithnai in an ever-shifting balance, and the priests regard most of the populace as a resource to be exploited and then discarded when it is of no further use. The Sundered Prince acts as a fulcrum for the Yithite power base, directing its might with his melancholy gaze.

Most citizens of Yithnai are justifiably paranoid, fearfully religious, and shockingly poor. Most citizens give up six years of freedom to earn enfranchisement, during which time they become indentured labor or serve in the military. Some are outright sacrificed at the Black Ziggurats if the stars are so aligned. Citizens can relinquish name, family, honor, skilled labor, blood, or body parts for higher status. In practice, most citizens accept a life of simple squalor, shoveling peat from the heated bogs, sacking salt, or delving deep ore mines. Only the truly ambitious or pious seek to elevate their status, and the frightful price they pay accords them respect and reverence.

Nomads also dwell in Yithnai; hard-bitten folk, they honor Yith and are left unmolested. Outsiders in Yithnai are treated with a heavy dose of suspicion and distaste. To the average Yithite, outsiders are impious aberrations. Merchants are necessarily tolerated, but most other visitors to Yithnai have their stays cut short, either fleeing for safety or risk having their hearts ripped out like turgid fruit by the blood-priests of the Black Ziggurats.

Yithnai is a major producer of salt, scarce outside its borders. Many realms which refuse to trade openly with Yithnai use Thrallut as a medium to acquire the much-needed mineral. Most households in Yithnai use peat for heating and even for food in desperate times. Yithnai uses an isolated tongue, but many of its educated people can speak Common as well as various magical and forbidden languages. The written script uses short graphemes, and the Yithnai libraries of clay tablets are renowned for esoteric lore.

DM Secrets: Medicine in Yithnai is surprisingly effective, albeit bloody, using holistic techniques, divine rituals, and blood magic. Many wealthy and powerful individuals risk the trek into Yithnai for medical treatment. These same wealthy and powerful individuals often seek brave and expendable bodyguards for the forbidding journey.

Seleucid the Sundered Prince was once a mortal wizard-prince. In his effort to bring harmony between the goddesses Yith and Zyga, he was impaled upon the black iron staves of the storm giant, Enki. Dark Yith decreed that he should die, while bright Zyga decreed that he should live a modest and honorable life. The result of the equal yet opposite divine powers pulled apart Seleucid’s soul and he was left to languish upon the black staves for centuries. For unknown reasons Yith freed and named him her consort. Seleucid is no longer a man—nor a god, lich, or other power. He remains in a transitory state of being that is both his reward and punishment from the twin goddesses. Sages speculate that the black iron staves of Enki may hold some transitory power, although what this power may be and where the staves are located is a mystery.

The small city of Akkaid lies near the large bubbling mud lake of Nanshub. Periodically the giant loggerheads from the depths head to the beach on moonless nights to lay their massive eggs. The loggerhead hatchlings, each larger than a man, seek warm prey to feast upon, and the city of Akkaid is built quite close to the shore.

Achaemein is a trading village near the Thrallut border, built on the ruins of a bygone age. In the center of the town is a large glacial stone with an epic tale engraved in a forgotten language. Should the script be translated and read in its entirety (60 hours at least) it will wake and return to flesh all of the fossilized primeval creatures for miles.

Founder, Legendary Games & Publisher, Necromancer Games, RPG Superstar Judge

Submission checklist:

Submitted on time? Check.
Submission is a "country"? Check.
Submission contains all of the mandatory content as required by the contest rules? Check.
Submission is within the word limit? Check. 981.
Submission is free of inappropriate content in violation of the "taboo" guidelines? Check.
Submission does not use content from a source other than those listed? Check.
Submission does not reference a published campaign setting? Check.
Submission does not include maps or art? Check.
Submission is a suitable setting for roleplaying with the d20 system? Check.
Submission is not a "joke" or otherwise completely fails to meet the minimum requirements of the competition or other contest rules? Check.

Qadira Contributor; Publisher, Kobold Press; RPG Superstar Judge

Yithnai is a extremely well written, evocative, and nasty country. Well done!

Your skill with language is strong, and certain terms really give me a sense of both the countryside ("slagheaps" and "cracked salt flats") and its people ("fearfully religious" and "shockingly poor" makes for a sad sort of oppression). Yes, the language does go over the top a couple times ("turgid fruit"?), but it would be fairly easy to pare it back a notch.

The dualist evil religion is worked in pretty smoothly, and it's relevant to everyday life. There's almost no space wasted on ancient history, and there's tons of adventure potential, because the big bad country has both goods and services that others will want. Excellent design choice.

I'm not done reading all your competitors yet, but I confidently predict this will hold up as the best of the evil countries. Which is perhaps not surprising, coming from the author of the Migrus Locker.

Strongly recommended for Top 16.

Founder, Legendary Games & Publisher, Necromancer Games, RPG Superstar Judge

Fluff (writing, grammar, style, evocative prose, etc.): A-
The Good: Nice writing. Evocative. Able to convey more with less, which was a core part of this assignment. Colorful, detailed. FLAVOR-galore.
The Bad: One could say it was a tad over the top, but I’m not sure it bothers me. I’m not so sure it is over the top as much as it is a bit indulgent. My one criticism is that since words are at a premium, a bit less indulgent writing would have left a few sentences to address the lacking crunch issues noted below.

Crunch (basics, rules issues, depth of the setting, details, etc.): B+
The Good: Good geographic description. Resources. Details on the people and culture. There is good crunch here worked in with great fluff. Magic. Languages. The setting feels very deep and more is implied than stated, which is a hallmark of good design. Some very good nuggets in the DM Secrets section.
The Bad: I would have liked some passing NPC info or perhaps some racial info. Or, better yet, details on the two deities.

Design (choices made, format, naming, originality, theme, balance--ie, is the submission heavy in one part but lacking in another?): A-
The Good: I love the quote at the beginning—a nice way to bust out of the provided format, which was something we were looking for. And spicing things up with a little Cthulhu sauce never hurt anyone. Added resources and religions, good move—not just because it was info you want to have but because it was info that was key to the theme and the concept of the country. Again, that is what we are looking for. And right away we get into struggle and conflict, which make for adventure. Very tight and well-integrated theme. Good balance between the description section and the secrets section.
The Bad: Not a lot wrong with this. My one gripe—this clearly seems to be a country you visit for a reason, rather than a place in which you set an entire campaign.

Play (setting for adventure? campaign? is there conflict? are there play limitations?): B+
The Good: TONS of conflict, which makes for great adventures.
The Bad: There are some race and class restrictions, apparently. Outsiders and particularly worshipers of outside deities will have problems. As noted above, this country is likely one that would be visited (for the many reasons provided) rather than one in which a whole campaign could be set. But this isn’t a campaign design contest, so I note that limitation and move on.

Tilt (my personal take, is it evocative? do I want to play there? does it capture my imagination?): A+
The Good: Flavor, flavor, flavor.
The Bad: We limited the submission to 1000 words and we don’t get to read 1000 more words on this interesting country.

Overall: A
This is a very solid submission. Full of flavor and theme and conflict. I would be surprised if this one didn’t make the top 16, despite indulgent writing perhaps forcing the omission of a bit more crunch. Funny, though, that is exactly the same criticism of his wondrous item. And, as here, the missing crunch just doesn’t seem to matter that much.

RECOMMENDED for top 16.

Paizo Employee Publisher, Chief Creative Officer

Core wrote:


"The Black Ziggurats of Yithnai stand as the ill-told seat of the Sundered Prince, Consort-on-Earth of the Black Twin, the Dead Goddess Yith."

Ah, yes. Mr. Migrus Locker. Delightful.

The first description paragraph not only interests me in adventuring in Yithnai, but also in the backdrop setting created as a throw-away reference to give a bit of context. That's good writing _and_ good design, and is a perfect example of what we're looking for in an RPG Superstar.

Very interesting choice with the government. The idea of trading away elements of your freedom for safety is very interesting and (unusual for an RPG setting) timely. The set-up of society in Yithnai seems to have potential adventure hooks built into it at every turn.

I really like most of the names in this entry, and Seleucid is the best of the lot. I like the sound of it. Given that that's the name of a minor successor state to Alexander the Great's empire, I wondered if you'd plundered it from history. I didn't wonder so much about Akkaid and Enki, which both seem lifted from Sumerian roots. You can get away with this sort of thing with minor names from history, but the audience is smarter than you might think. I don't think the entry benefits from the Sumerian association, so wholly original names would have been preferred. Of course I suppose it is a coincidence, but Enki?

I love the other names though. They have a Vancian air to them that I greatly appreciate. Probably my favorite names so far (but I have many more to read).

A few mechanics-minded folks wondered about why we advanced a cat in a box when the migrus locker might have been a construct and not a wondrous item. This entry is the answer, and I knew we were headed in this direction the first moment I saw the Migrus's smug little face.

So yeah, I like this one.

Osirion

I expected no less from Mr. Mirgus Locker, as Mr. Mona so aptly puts it. I'm not sure it would make for a particularly good "good" adventure, a party of evil characters vying for power within its borders is certainly still fair game.

Also, I would personally enjoy a snaking to get vital information from the church. This could also make for some very fun political maneuvering by other countries, during an invasion perhaps.

Thirdly, I think this could make for some great epic level stuff, though such is probably not viable for this contest, what with the transitive god-thing and all.

Finally, there could come some very memorable villains from this country. I'd love to see how this adventure turns out, should it come to that.

(I think it will)

RPG Superstar 2008 Top 16 , Marathon Voter 2013 aka Core

Thank you for your kind comments and feedback. I hereby request your vote :P
I think that is all us authors are limited to talk about. Thanks!


i can *taste* conan and other pulp heroes bouncing across the ladnscapes, facing unspeakable horros and depressed veteren warriors with equal mfrequency.

can't use it in any current game at all, but that is in NO WAY a knock against it.


I am with the great Erik Mona.

A great country.

I like the pseudo-sumerian feel, but yeah, Akkaid and Enki?
Seleucid is another I recognized as well, but it wasn't as glaring.
Either way it is a great entry. If possible try and move away from so much history. Enki described as a Storm Giant and not as a God of Magic and Waters of the Apsu kinda hit me strange. There are plenty of students of history and mythology on the boards, so watch out. ^_^

Solid. This one likely has one of my votes.

Osirion

Dungeon Grrl just said precisely what I would have and looked far better doing it, I'm sure, so I'll leave it to her.

You have my vote.

Osirion

Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Campaign Setting, Companion, Modules, Pawns, Roleplaying Game Subscriber

A very cool and creepy evil country. Also reminescent of the sacrifices of the ancient aztecs. I like it.

~Rusty

Osirion RPG Superstar 2011 Top 32 , Dedicated Voter 2013 aka Eyebite

You're 2 for 2 Mr. Kisko. The Migrus Locker was my favorite item, and this is by far my favorite country.

Reminds me of REH's Stygia, but takes it and puts a unique spin on it.

Well done, once again.

Osirion

This is awesome, awesome stuff. The other folks in this contest are dang lucky that there's five votes floating around per judge or my feeling is you'd nail this whole contest right here and now. Still have many more entries to read, but DANG. Good job, man.

I love the nation, the descriptions, most of all the Tyler Durden inspired leadership structure--that whoever would rule must most earnestly strive to hit rock bottom, sacrificing limbs, family members, reputation, whatever it takes to be loathsome enough to rule. I love it. It's just soul-blighting.

Not crazy about the silver moon/dark moon thing. It seemed a little trite for something that was going for a much more earthy, dark, Cthuhlu meets Conan sorta' feel. I would have prefered something a little more tangible and in the world, or else something with more of an unknowable alieness to it--maybe a little of both. Moon goddesses just didn't seem to fit the bill.

Regardless you're getting a Grimcleaver vote!

RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32 aka Sheyd

This is a well developed country, as the others have said Definately a thumbs up.


I hate to add a me too post, but love this entry!!

I fully agree, that it is more a destination country than a setting for an ongoing campaign, but there is just so much stuff bubbling away here, I think you could turn it into a fabulous setting for a whole story arc within a campaign.

It was well written, I love the 'turgid fruit' it was deliciously over the top, and made me laugh. I'm echoing the judges comments here to some extent but I really love your writing style, it is just so evocative!

I'm really hoping you make it further because I can't wait to see what you come up with in the Villain category!!


Greedy_Smurf wrote:


I'm really hoping you make it further because I can't wait to see what you come up with in the Villain category!!

Thats a damned good point! I am waiting for that too.


Greedy_Smurf wrote:


I'm really hoping you make it further because I can't wait to see what you come up with in the Villain category!!

My sentiments exactly. Very cool and dark.


Strangely, I want to like this one but I can't. The writing is crisp and there's decent execution, but I couldn't get into it.


varianor wrote:
Strangely, I want to like this one but I can't. The writing is crisp and there's decent execution, but I couldn't get into it.

I feel the same way. The writing's top notch and the place just oozes theme, but I can't help thinking that there's not really a whole lot to do here. Maybe it's just not my kind of setting, but if this place existed in a world I was playing in, I'd avoid it like the plague. Not only is it dark and depressing, but there's nothing to draw me in.

RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32 , Dedicated Voter 2013, Star Voter 2014 aka SmiloDan

I really dig this one!!! It could use some better names, but that's easy to arrange. I love the dualist theology. And I can picture all sorts of nasty magico-medicine going down. Evil nurse-necromancers, flesh golems made up of the discarded body parts of the upwardly mobile socialites, ambitious souls turning that whole "power corrupts" adage on its head (the corrupted gain power here!). It reminded me of the Re-Made from China Mieville's Bas-Lag novels, but in reverse.

Marathon Voter 2013, Dedicated Voter 2014

It's a great evil setting, with a coherent reasoning for the evilosity.

The obviously stolen names do bug me though. They aren't that obscure to any RPGer, and seem a bit cheap.

I'd prefer the same flavor without the obvious theft.

Undecided there. Like it, but...

Taldor RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32 , Star Voter 2013 aka TerraNova

This hit the nail on the head for me. The country just is the avatar of "black" (in the Magic: the Gathering sense) to me, and while maybe not the country i would want to base an entire campaign on, it just is bursting at the seems with possibility.

Needed two readings to realize it, though - originally you lost me at "just another necromancy kingdom", and being the author of the Migrus Locker (which i hated) did not help. ;) Fortunately, i gave it another shot.

My absolute favorite in the batch. The idea of social status being tied to how much you are willing to sacrifice makes a scary kind of sense as well. I did not mind the sumerian-flavored names, they neatly underscore the primal, scary feeling you skillfully infused into your submission.

Cheliax RPG Superstar 2008 Top 4, Contributor

I can hear my players now:

"Why, oh why, did we come to Yithnai?"

Love it - and I love "The Doom that Came to Sarnath", so I should know.

Taldor

Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Adventure Path, Campaign Setting, Companion, Modules, Tales Subscriber

Seleucid.

That made it hard for me to like this entry. It created a constant background hum in my mind as I read the entry; "What does this have to do with the Hellenistic Near-East?"

Is your arm really going to fall off if you spend an extra few minutes coming up with a good original name?

Because other people liked it I re-read it later and was able to block out the hum, mostly, and I hope this gets through. I also hope that any further iteration of Yithnai will replace the borrowed names.


There are a lot of very odd adjectives and adverbs thrown in here. It’s definitely descriptive, but I’m not sure how I feel about flabby plants, nor am I that shocked at how poor they are.

This is also the second "kleptocracy" in the entries, which isn't helping (not that you would have known). Giant loggerhead...turtles?

I hate to be the sole voice of dissent, but I’m not feeling it. I may give it a second read as I loved the Migrus.

I am pleased that no nomads were molested in the making of this country.


Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber

The opening sentence sold this idea to me, even with the rather clunky "ill-told" in the middle of it. The rest of the writing is similarly evocative, if somewhat turgid and fruity at times. Yithnai seems like a country to visit, not live in, though - in a campaign, I'd see it as the place the PCs have heard about and never want to see, but at some point must travel to in order to recover a vital MacGuffin.

It's probably a UK/US thing, but I don't think "The Arsalude" is a good name for a region of contested valleys.

Osirion

GeraintElberion wrote:

Seleucid.

That made it hard for me to like this entry. It created a constant background hum in my mind as I read the entry; "What does this have to do with the Hellenistic Near-East?"

Your writing style is very good. However, I too suffered reading beyond the first parts due to the naming conventions. I guess my question for the author would be: So is this supposed to be Babylon meets Cthulhu?

Not that this would not be a fascinating mixture, just not my cup of tea.


Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Campaign Setting Subscriber

Like the locker, this is greater than the sum of it's parts. Each hook is a novel. The social mechanics of the place open up vistas of storytelling. Like others have pointed out, this is reminiscent of Mieville, but is its own unique thing. Some of us have been playing for more than twenty years. Derivitive crep turns us off very quickly, but this is something tingly and ripe.


DCII wrote:
GeraintElberion wrote:

Seleucid.

That made it hard for me to like this entry. It created a constant background hum in my mind as I read the entry; "What does this have to do with the Hellenistic Near-East?"

Your writing style is very good. However, I too suffered reading beyond the first parts due to the naming conventions. I guess my question for the author would be: So is this supposed to be Babylon meets Cthulhu?

Not that this would not be a fascinating mixture, just not my cup of tea.

More Conan than Cthulhu, but yeah that is kinda the point. I imagine Mr. Turgis Locker was going for a realm that would not be found in a standard campaign world. However, he wanted it to fit inside any campaign world. I have been gaming with Sam for years and it is a real joy to see what he comes up with... sometimes. Just knowing something like the Turgis Locker is somewhere in the campaign is simultaneous cool and very disturbing.

Judging by the "Top Five" thread, he has a good chance of going through (but keep voting for him, just in case). Trust me, you want him in the next round. His bad guys are always the highlight of any adventure.

Osirion

Nick McGinnis wrote:
More Conan than Cthulhu, but yeah that is kinda the point.

Interesting; knowing that does give one a different perspective. I may have to vote for this.

Andoran

The turtles closed the deal for me. I'm voting for Yithnai. It should be somewhere near Zothique. It belongs there. I like it a lot.

Andoran

Damn, now I'm up to seven. Can we please have more votes? Oh, well.


Of all the entries, this is the only one I would love to integrate into my own gameworld! The issue that stalls it for me, it might require some gymnastics to start a campaign in Yithnai or justify adventurers native to Yishnai — at least in a traditional D&D world.

Two thumbs, way up!...

RPG Superstar 2008 Top 16 , Marathon Voter 2013 aka Core

Heathansson wrote:
The turtles closed the deal for me. I'm voting for Yithnai. It should be somewhere near Zothique. It belongs there. I like it a lot.

Huzzah! Someone other than me liked the turtles!

Thanks for the comments.

Andoran

It's just....in real life, loggerheads are such innocuous creatures. Alligator snapping turtles are the total bastiches of the turtle world.
But not these loggerheads. They EAT people. The babies eat people.
That's just good weird horror, man.


Great entry but the only concern I have is the lack of description of the religious hierarchy and the religion of Yith itself. A little bit more on what holds the country together and what unifies the religion would have been great but otherwise this is a fairly solid entry. Great job.

Oh, and the idea of giant, boiling mud dwelling turtles that eat people was great. I love it.


Sammy, another winner if you ask me. You've got my vote.

Andoran

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

The Black Ziggurat. Excellent, evocative and creepy country. Generally well constructed and formatted entry, although were a couple of odd somewhat clunky sentences. It appears that you have used a number of influences here, which are obvious to some people – personally I don’t think that’s such a bad thing, in my opinion you have not gone overboard (though perhaps that’s because I’m not as familiar with Babylonian or Sumerian myth as some here – still, some of the names seemed maddeningly familiar.

I really have to know though; have you read the Books of the Cataclysm by Sean Williams? If not (and possibly not – it’s a fairly obscure series) I must say that you and Mr Williams must have used a lot of the same influences (which is not such a bad thing – they’re good books IMO, if you get a chance to read them).


Ok, I finished reading all the other entries, and this one remains my fave. If I could give it multiple votes, I would.

I can't help but wonder where in Yithnai the migrus originated...

Osirion RPG Superstar 2008 Top 4; Contributor; Publisher, Legendary Games

Good good good!

And bonus points for using "turgid." And killer mud turtles!

The names were not the greatest for reasons others have pointed out, but on the whole I may have to reconsider my list of 5 (almost done reading, finally!).


I'm just going to pull a single sentence out:

Sam Kisko wrote:
The loggerhead hatchlings, each larger than a man, seek warm prey to feast upon, and the city of Akkaid is built quite close to the shore.

In terms of implying more than you say, this is just how to do it. It is in no way unclear what the author is saying, but as a reader it takes you juuuust a moment to catch on. And one you do get it, you feel a little dirty. Very effective.


Nice take on an evil country.


Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
Heathansson wrote:
The turtles closed the deal for me. I'm voting for Yithnai. It should be somewhere near Zothique. It belongs there. I like it a lot.

And here Sam didn't believe me when I said someone would mention Zothique...

Having played with Sam for a few years now, this is a good example of his work. A little Robert E. Howard, a little Klarkash-Ton, just a splash of filth...

Paizo Employee Publisher, Chief Creative Officer

That's a damn fine recipe.


Overall, I thought that this was a very strong submission, but what really sells it for me is Seleucid the Sundered Prince. I know we're supposed to vote based on the strength of the country as a whole, but that has got to be one of the most fascinating character/villain concepts I've heard in a long time. I imagine that the affect of being trapped in limbo between life and death for uncounted years would leave someone quite... insane.

I wonder, is he as split between alignments as he is between life and death? Just thinking about the unfathomable motivations of such a being makes me all giddy inside.

Andoran Star Voter 2014

Clouds Without Water wrote:
The obviously stolen names do bug me though. They aren't that obscure to any RPGer, and seem a bit cheap.

QFT.

Great country, but even the name of it and the patron god are taken from Lovecraft (the Great Race of Yith). Still, I'll probably vote for it.

Osirion Marathon Voter 2013, Star Voter 2014

Here's my number 4 vote! Welcome to my top 5.

Nice evil city with a great back story.

Osirion RPG Superstar 2013 , Dedicated Voter 2013, Dedicated Voter 2014 aka Steven T. Helt

Iam bothered by the direct Lovecraft references but not by the sumerian names. Maybe I have it backwards. my jungle had obscure names of south american features, anagrams of real cities (well...old, abandoned cities), stuff like that. I thought during my research I was doing the right thing, and ensuring that my names all had the same character and flavor.

I like the entry. As predicted, it is my favorite entry of the evil kingdoms so far. Until about four entries ago, my top five had five and no real room for debate. Now I have to reread and think about this.

Qadira

Got my vote, pure gold.

Well done for that and the Locker.

Cheers


The intro sounds cool but when I try to understand it it makes my brain hurt.

Seleucid? Isn’t that a post-Alexander the Great thing? (I knew all that history in college would come in handy somewhere!) Not a bad name but not yours either. The Sundered Prince has great potential though.

The government is really cool. Kleptocracy sounds made up by someone who felt left out of the vocabulary race but the description is super. My players would love being here and we always play good characters. Lot’s of potential conflict.

Heated bogs? Sounds too much like they are made that way on purpose for some reason.

The land itself is starting to sound a bit too alien for my tastes. I wouldn’t mind if it were brought back to “earth” a bit. Resembles something from Traveler.

This is really well written. I was getting into it like the intro to a book…and then it ended *sob*.

I am not thrilled with lands the revile outsiders because then my PCs won’t want to go there. However I still say as a place maybe to simply adventure it is still rockin’.

This is almost more than a country, it is approaching mini-setting status.

Forged Goo Adventure Scale: Sweet+
This place is awesome. The king, the twin gods, the geography, the loggerheads (dopey name though), feral barbarians. You could bring PCs here of any alignment and with a multitude of motivations.

After reading 7 countries this is easily my favorite right now.

Ok, I will stop now before I claim that Yithnai can walk on water.

Goo

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