Captain Kirk was deep in thought. "Captain's Log,
why is Spock so damn sexy? I... have...
gotten every girl, on every.....episode....except for
Opie Cunningham's little sister...her weird teeth blew
out...of the bamboo gun...when the....Gorn...
attack us on Relm Slaagi nine, a mining
farming, fishing, vacation, and sporting goods manufacturing planet
and owned by one Kleetis Von Astaroth a
crimson naped buffoon cloned badly from Harry Mudd
and Mhorughendi whore known as Zielustella the black
magic marker. Her powers made the eerie music
and caused me to be 'uncomfortable' down there,
below the paunch girdle. If....Bones could...perhaps...
bring me a few nurses and some Romulan
beef jerky. Yes, that would be tasty. And...
Zarolok Wine. Where the hell is Scottie? Must
be getting that ferengi tailor to fit his
trousers to...wait, is this thing still recording?
"Affirmative," said a sexy female voice in the
depths of the space pillows tossed decoratively around
the bridge of the mirror/mirror Star Ship
"Set lights for 'seductive'." Kirk purred, wondering why
his viagra had not kicked in yet. "Bones"!
growled; I'm a Doctor, not a pimp, Jim...
damn it, our mission is not about tappin
every piece of tail from here to Rigel!
remember what happened on Sevvi Naphon 4, your
dalliance with the psionic witches there? That was
close call Jim, it took weeks for swelling
to your corpus calossum to go away. My
research did find the cure for Vulcan crabs
was Klingon bloodwine, mixed with a poultice of
dilithium crystals mixed with Orlor whale fat,heated
with a phaser set for stun for twelve
seconds. "Captain Kirk to the bridge, we are
under attack by a mysterious cube-shaped vessel
triquarter readings picking high levels of thc and
pitchouli. We think it's a borg hippie commune
lead by the insane clone of Timothy Leary,
who went to Eden, ate the fruit, and
choked on its soft, chewy, acidic center. Meanwhile
the borg hippies were sending boarding parties over
in droves, armed with bongs and large flower
power posters to assimilate with. The zombielike cybernetic
equipment such as roachclips and liquid lsd injectors
"Hey, man. We're, like, the borg, and like,
we're gonna tune you in and drop you
out of an airlock. Really, reely, groovy, and
so cool, Set phasers for groovy mellow!. Meanwhile
Dr. McCoy, aka Bones, aka Melvin the Mopboy, aka
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