and their ears are starting to bleed. What
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can stop Supertrooper? It's light are gonna find
things better left unfound. Just then, Captain Kirk
initiated his patended insubordination monologue, ordering course to
Starfleet Central Command at Warp 9, intending to
torpedo Starfleet back to the eighties, giving him
the freedom to star in other shows, such
as TJ Hooker so he and Heather Thomas
could get to know each other in ways
that are unable to be broadcast on network
news, thanks to bias against former Captains and
the women who tolerated them. In space, nobody
can see you fornicate - unless Abe Lincoln is
around. He uses his Super-Presidential Sneakascope to
cheat at Space-Stratego, a game pioneered on
the (a,b,0) class of planets in the Mass system.
All of this meant little to Wesley Crusher,
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a boy who only wanted to sing, not
play 'find the Altarian soap' with Ensign Barkley
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yet, how he longed to find that soap.
Suddenly, a Klingon Bird of Prey appeared on
top of the Nondenominational Tree in the holodeck.
"That's illogical." Spouted Spock. Everyone knows that the
Klingons don't celebrate holidays unless they involve bloodshed.
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Worf slit a nearby Ferengi's throat. "Now, let's
break out the Romulan Ale and get wasted!
To hell with that tronya crap; it's for
Naussicans and Betazoids to drink at their crazy
birthday celebrations, where everyone grabs a phaser and
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empathizes with it in the nude. Troi's mother
showed up with a bunch of Klingon hippies.
(who mark their hippiness by shaving their hair)
These Klingons had been exiled from their empire
for firing all blue lasers, but the red
ones, they was using to heat up their
Rokegios and Gaghballs from the can since it
was apparent the microwave disabled their cloaking device
and left them vulnerable to attack from those
tinfoil hat wearing Klingons from the Militia planet
who were always running around and goosing anyone
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with an X chromosome, much to Data's chagrin.
He had always thought that “goosing” sounded like
a clever way of making sure that Commander
Troi was kept on her toes by Riker.
"I'm not sure I like the sound of
that," an observer observed, "What if we all
got thrown into the Mirror Universe? I would
team up with the evil Terran Empire and
run rampant through the galaxy. I'd be able
to buy Roy Clark's banjo, like I've always
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