it's embarrassing when his 'evil twin' did charity
sex with Farengi chicks. Very bad for the
twin's mental health. I mean, have you seen
the ears! At least there's something to hold
on to on my wife. Remember, she is
an Andorian! Let me tell you those antennae
remind me of your skinny penis. How funny
was that joke last week?" Spock said
"Can you repeat the joke, I was over
in Nurse Chapel's room. Wow, can she ever
bake a cake." Sulu didn't like where this
ship was going, so he changed course to
head on over to the Omega Quadrant. He
had distant relatives there that he’d been meaning
to punch after that time at the family
picnic, when some idiot dressed as a bear
went into the woods and tried to prove
that picinic baskets were a form of life
superior to our own. Fortunately, he only proved that
park rangers are very good at using phasers.
They never did find all the peices of
the picnic basket, and young Sulu had never
gotten to sit in the Captain's chair, because
of a disastrous affair when he was a
student under the extremely infamous (yet slightly stupendous)
Geometry teacher at the Acadamy. They say he
invented non-Euclidian geometry when he was six
and then used his new knowledge to cause
massive orgies amongst the Borg, who decided to
further their quest for varied sexual partners by
cloning Captain Kirk many times then giving all
ships a new paint job. Why that involved
cloning Kirk we may never know, but Borg
are rather odd that way. Just the other
day one walked up to Chekov and gave
him a grilled cheese sandwich, which then burst
into flames, which gave Chekov severe burns on
his nose, which destroyed the hair under his
arms in a bizzare chain reaction involving two
comely yeomen named Bubbles and Candi with an
otherwise outstanding Starfleet service record (based mainly on
her "nap" with Kirk) Two dozen tribbles also
started causing trouble. They would sneak into the
medical supplies and go crazy. They say that
nothing says crazy like a Tribble hopped up
on a potent mix of aspirin and those
Sudafed Chewables. A mixture like that will freak
out even a Klingon who, coincidentally, has the
best fettucini alfredo recipe you would ever taste.
The Klingons know fettucini as 'Klork-Narg-Vaar', which is
|