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Joel Flank

Round 1: Bodyguard's Vest
Round 2: Ulmlinzi-Kiwanja

Bodyguard's Vest


Round 1 - Open Call: Design a wondrous item

Andoran RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32, 2011 Top 16 , Star Voter 2013, Star Voter 2014 aka JoelF847

Bodyguard’s Vest
This black leather vest has metal studs sewn into the collar. Three times per day, as a swift action, the wearer can compel a creature to attack him to the exclusion of all others. If the target fails a DC 14 Will save, it must attack only the wearer of the vest for 5 rounds. The victim of the compulsion can choose not to attack, or to use area effects if they include the wearer of the vest. This is a mind-affecting compulsion enchantment.

A Greater Bodyguard’s Vest functions as a standard version, but can affect up to 11 targets with a single activation, which must make a DC 19 Will save or be compelled to only attack the wearer.

Faint or Moderate Enchantment; CL 5th (standard), 11th (greater); Craft Wondrous Item, suggestion (standard) or mass suggestion (greater); Price 16,000 gp (standard); 70,000 gp (greater).

Paizo Employee Publisher, Chief Creative Officer

Ooh I like this.

This strikes me as a design from a writer who understands how to structure sentences artfully and to write rules text that conveys the right information without breaking the flow. It's well written.

That said, the second-to-last sentence in the first paragraph isn't entirely clear.

I also think the item is fun, interesting, and cool. And--as lame as this sounds--the game needs more vests.

I have played D&D with thousands of people all around the world during my decade or so of traveling with the RPGA, and I've played with hundreds of players who would adore this item.

Qadira Contributor; Publisher, Kobold Press; RPG Superstar Judge

The title leaves me cold, but the effect rips off the best bits of the Knight class challenge abilities, in much cleaner language.

I'd say keep it around.

Founder, Legendary Games & Publisher, Necromancer Games, RPG Superstar Judge

I'm with Wolfgang. The name leaves alot to be desired. But the item is definately cool. No ifs ands or buts, this one is a keeper. This has the right power--useful and focused, not trying to do it all and not uber.

Paizo Employee Publisher, Chief Creative Officer

Kept.

Osirion

Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game, Tales Subscriber

Interesting - I found the name of this one to be the best part of it - clean and telling. I'm not fond of the Knight ability in general, but this is an excellent way of handling it.

RPG Superstar 2008 Top 6 aka adanedhel9

I'm not a fan of the knight at all, and so I don't have much to say on an item that nearly replicates the abilities of one. But I will say that it is well-written and well-designed for what it does.

Osirion

The name could use a little bit of flash, but I like the idea. It's nice to have a baseline item that doesn't feel like some great last legacy of some great empire--but rather is the sort of thing that an older brother might want to acquire before going adventuring with his little sister. Very chivalrous. It feels like a real part of a real world, the sort of thing designed to fulfil a real need people have. I like it.

RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32 , Dedicated Voter 2013, Star Voter 2014 aka SmiloDan

This seems like an item the members of the Casseline Brotherhood from Jacqueline Carey's "Kushiel's Dart" series would wear.

Osirion

Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

Vest of Taunting?


Awesome. I can think of several of my characters who would use this. It's like the opposite of sanctuary.

I do think the name is a bit lackluster, though.

Andoran

I like this one too. A lot. Really useful in a lot of circumstances.

Marathon Voter 2013, Dedicated Voter 2014

Mactaka wrote:

Vest of Taunting?

Yeah, I know I spent too long playing EQ when my first thought isn't "knight", but "vest of aoe taunting". Anyway, clearly a useful item that would find a timely use in nearly all game sessions.

Taldor

The name initially put me off - I thought it would be armor that somehow skirted past the autodump.

Looking at it, I do like it. I know lots of players who would love to have it, it's evocative without being gamebreaking, and it is well-written.

IF I could vote on these, this would be shortlisted.


I like the name, but for those who don't, how about Frank Farmer's Vest of VIP Protection?

Seriously, This not only allows the fighters to protect their party, it better allows the healers to do their jobs too. One of those items that says, "Hmmm, how did I not think of this?" because it is so fundamentally appealing. Top 5.


Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Modules Subscriber

Good solid item. Does seem familiar though.
What is the range of the effect?


Werecorpse wrote:
Good solid item. Does seem familiar though.

Yeah, thinking about it more, I realized I recognize the effect. First, as someone already hinted at, it's similar to skills that tanks get in most MMORPGS. It's also nearly identical in effect to a feat from either the Complete Fighter or the Minis book (I forget which) called "goad".

Still doesn't make it a bad item. I still like it.

Andoran RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32, 2011 Top 16 , Star Voter 2013, Star Voter 2014 aka JoelF847

Wow, it's great to read all of the appreciative comments on my item - thanks to all of you. I'm glad that others found it as useful as I did.

I designed it as an item my nearly indestructible Dwarven Defender would love to have, and he then promptly died the next session via a sphere of annihilation coming up through the floor he was standing on. One of the dangers of high level play.

As for the range, I realized that I should have included that detail about 10 seconds after submitting. Thankfully, it wasn't a deal breaker with our esteemed judges. I'll have to make sure to take my time on this next round and check everything over twice. Since the item is based on the suggestion spell, I'd make the range 30 feet for the standard version, and 250 feet for the greater version.


I say we put this vest on the cat construct (migrus? locker).

The name made me think of something futuristic like a bullet proof vest for Kevin Costner. It has a total video game feel to it (WOW or city of heroes), I like both games but I don't like to mix them with "real" role-playing.

So overall this one does not fit my style of play. It's almost too useful.

Are there rules about if someone attacks the person that is being goaded? Does it break the spell?

RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32 aka darthfrodo

I like this item quite a bit because I prefer magic items that enhance a characters class abilities which I think this does nicely for warriors. I have a high-level mage who would gladly buy this for any warrior in the party! Well done.
Darth Frodo

RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32 aka Spar

I really like this item. Congrats!


My only concern with this item is that by the time you buy it or keep it (instead of using the money for something else), the DC is so low very few foes will fail it. I acvtually think you need to base the DC on the wearer (similar to what a staff does with spoell caster level), or raise DC, even if that raises the price a litt, until the DC is close to what an ability at the level someone would see when their gp total is something like 8x this amount

Osirion Marathon Voter 2013, Star Voter 2014

looks like this is the first item I will be adding to my Eberron campaign, by house D of course...

Andoran RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32, 2011 Top 16 , Star Voter 2013, Star Voter 2014 aka JoelF847

Dungeon Grrrl wrote:


My only concern with this item is that by the time you buy it or keep it (instead of using the money for something else), the DC is so low very few foes will fail it. I acvtually think you need to base the DC on the wearer (similar to what a staff does with spoell caster level), or raise DC, even if that raises the price a litt, until the DC is close to what an ability at the level someone would see when their gp total is something like 8x this amount

Unfortunately, this is a problem with almost all magic items that require a save. I based the DC on the standard rules for items (other than staves). I think that it's not as bad as it looks, since most of the time you'd be using the vest against a fighter type which would have low will saves. In addition, I think that the swift action to activate makes it a no lose situation - even if your target makes the save, you're not wasting your turn for nothing - you still can attack, move etc. Also, with the greater version, targeted vs. a group, at least some are likely to fail the save and be affected.


JoelF847 wrote:
Unfortunately, this is a problem with almost all magic items that require a save.

yes, it definately is. I don't really count that against it's design, btu I would have been very, very impressed if the problem 9as I see it) had been fixed.

JoelF847 wrote:
In addition, I think that the swift action to activate makes it a no lose situation - even if your target makes the save, you're not wasting your turn for nothing - you still can attack, move etc.

The "lose" is even having the item in this case. I think most players will find they are better off selling it for half price to buy another dull bonus item. That's too bad, but for many players doing otherwise means having a dumb character.

JoelF847 wrote:
Also, with the greater version, targeted vs. a group, at least some are likely to fail the save and be affected.

THAT is a fair point. And since if you are fighting a group they are likely to be lower level that you, the saves may be even worse. But how often is that going to come up, rather than another 35k gp worth of typical magic items. I contue to suspect it'll only see use with NPCs, heavy role-players, and very high level characterds.

It is, however, hardly unique in that regard. It's not that it's badly done, it's that it's a good idea that is only well done, instead of spectacularly done. :D


Ah, lure (an idea which indeed shows up at least in couple of online computer games I have played, and in Magic the Gathering).

But indeed, good item, well-written, I also like the no-nonsense name.


Very creative and interesting item. I'd prefer to see the price on the greater variant reduced a bit, but I really want to see the tank making a mob of unknonwn opponents attack him though more. Good luck with your country.


Interesting item, I really enjoyed it.

As a possible name, how about Bullseye Vest?

Also, how does one get in on wondrous item creation contests? I am arrogant enough to think my personal creations could hang for a round (maybe).

Andoran RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32, 2011 Top 16 , Star Voter 2013, Star Voter 2014 aka JoelF847

Kenneth Denk II wrote:

Interesting item, I really enjoyed it.

As a possible name, how about Bullseye Vest?

Also, how does one get in on wondrous item creation contests? I am arrogant enough to think my personal creations could hang for a round (maybe).

Thanks, I'm glad you liked it.

As for how to get in the contest, the first round was open to anyone who submitted, but you just missed the deadline. It seems likely that Paizo will run this contest again at some point, hopefully in a year, but it could be longer.

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