Welly, welly, welly, well. To what do I
owe this pleasure my bookie", boomed Jabba, as
Boba Fett went flying off to search for
Black Dragon Tea over in central China town.
Meanwhile, on Coruscant, that rat bastard Palpatine was
busy trying to hunt down some more Jedi.
He had developed a new plan that would
ensnare psychic energy in extra dimensional constructs so
as to lure the Jedi into the open
and to their doom. He tested the first
prototype on a Gungan who had been annoying
him with it's "Meesa do this" crap, but
being brain dead, Gungans have no psychic energy.
A simple wave of his hand was enough
to crush the annoying Gungan's skull. Unfortunately that
splashed Gungan juice all over his new robe
and the soybean-looking brain secretions of Gungans
are known to stain most terribly. This sent
him into a tizzy and he had to
order the execution of some rebel scum. Darth
Vader, one of his b%!#%es, carried out the
tray of Scoop Tostitos, along with a nice
guacamole, in a little sombrero bowl. Jalapenos topped
the spicy dish, but the Dark Side could
not properly digest spicy food without blowing holes
right through the fabric of time and space.
So Emperor Palpatine threw the spicy snack down
the reactor shaft, which produced a spicy blast
that blew out the airlock in Sector 7G.
Meanwhile in docking bay 327, the crew of
The Imperial Food Tranport ship, the Sysco Kid
felt the blast and began to dump their
flash frozen Halapeno Pepper pods from Nuevo Salmonillica
into the reactor core of the ship. Fumes
issued forth, stripping the hull plating off as
the lifters of the ship started juddering it
spread out into the decompressing cargo bay, gassing
a group of stormtroopers who failed blaster qualifications,
causing their shiny white armor to stain pink
and corrode. This displeased Lord Vader, who couldn't
stand poncey stormtroopers. "You are all assigned to
eternal kitchen police duty on the Cafeteria Planet
where you'll serve Gungan to Pizza the Hutt
three times a day, and clean up after
people half your age, because your scores ranked
below Greedo, and he had really bad shingles
all over his sneering visage. Solo decided he
didn't want to shoot first, so he let
Greedo pick up the check and he walked
over to a four breasted alien green alien
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