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The father of a friend I had back in high school shot himself last night. Larry had been an alcoholic, but didn't seem to have any other problems--he was a successful electrician with two grown kids and a nice house. I hadn't seen or talked to his son in years, so when I got the message, it was kind of a shock. I didn't know Larry very well, but his death is just one more thing that'll be on my mind.Sorry to hear that bro. It's weird how people who are kinda on the sidelines of our lives can affect us deeply with their passing. My best frined's mother died of lung cancer (3 weeks from diagnosis to death) when I was 25. It was surreal. One minute she was there, and then *poof*.
It seems like everyone I know has either just died, just gone to prison, or just gotten married. It's odd, and I wonder which category I'm going to fall into.It's funny how that works. I call it the '27' effect. My theory is that the artifical numbers we call 'adulthood' aren't really good markers. I think the actual transition from adolescence to adulthood is centered around the 27th year. Of course, there are variations, but it seems at that age most people are:
- Working hard at their careers
- Getting married and having children
- Engaging in the final addiction death spiral
- Despairing of life and contemplating terminating it
- Running out of 'get out of jail free' rulings from the local judge
- Having a crisis about WTF they're going to do with the rest of their lives
- Some combination of the above
It seems like a lot of rock stars OD/suicide at this age (Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix, Janice Joplin, Kurt Colbain, etc.) I know Kurt's death really affected me, beacause we were only a few months apart in age, and it really struck home as I was wrestling with my transition. Heck, a year later I enlisted in the Army =O
Huh. That's interesting. Sounds like I'm hitting 27 a few years early. Maybe it's because most of the people I know are older than me. I don't really know...
Had a storm now my router no longer wants to work. As such I have dropped to one usable computer for the internet. I know this is mall considering the gripes others have, it is however annoying to me and sucks.
The father of a friend I had back in high school shot himself last night. Larry had been an alcoholic, but didn't seem to have any other problems--he was a successful electrician with two grown kids and a nice house. I hadn't seen or talked to his son in years, so when I got the message, it was kind of a shock. I didn't know Larry very well, but his death is just one more thing that'll be on my mind.
It seems like everyone I know has either just died, just gone to prison, or just gotten married. It's odd, and I wonder which category I'm going to fall into.
Patrick, Shiny, I'm sorry to hear about your losses. You both have my deepest condolences.
Re: The 27 effect- I think I'm hitting it later on in life as I am a late bloomer. I'm currently happy with my jobs(although the day one could suck less), but I know I can't do this forever. I want to change jobs before going back for my masters and doctorate, which I want to do one after the other unless something astonishing happens.
My ladyfriend dumped me in July. It wasn't horrible or drawn out or anything and I was doing fine, but she wants to get back together now and I'm a bit hesitant to say the least.
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This is one of the worst feelings you can have. Not at the top, but somewhere on the next level down. You can feel yourself losing your mind, bit by bit. It's like watching little pieces of paper get ripped free from a big sheet of text and pictures and float away on the wind. This has happened before. I have hit bottom several times, been through the gauntlet of psych wards, pills, and therapists. This has happened before, and I am NOT going to let it happen again.
This is NOT going to continue, and I am NOT going to keep sliding further and further down the rabbit hole. This is DONE and OVER with. And I am terrified that even though I'm telling myself these things, it's all lies.
Don't worry about things. I just had a f!*!ed day and a f!*!ed week, and am still picking the pieces of my head up off of the floor. Things will be back to standard soon, hopefully.
Don't forget that you have friends here that care about you.
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Don't worry about things. I just had a f!*!ed day and a f!*!ed week, and am still picking the pieces of my head up off of the floor. Things will be back to standard soon, hopefully.Don't forget that you have friends here that care about you.
Yeah, man, I know. I've held it together for three years now, and I'm not going back on myself.
Yeah, man, I know. I've held it together for three years now, and I'm not going back on myself.Don't worry about things. I just had a f!*!ed day and a f!*!ed week, and am still picking the pieces of my head up off of the floor. Things will be back to standard soon, hopefully.Don't forget that you have friends here that care about you.
Good for you!
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Good for you!Yeah, man, I know. I've held it together for three years now, and I'm not going back on myself.Don't worry about things. I just had a f!*!ed day and a f!*!ed week, and am still picking the pieces of my head up off of the floor. Things will be back to standard soon, hopefully.Don't forget that you have friends here that care about you.
That's what I keep telling myself, at least.
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Contributor, RPG Superstar 2012
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That's what I keep telling myself, at least.Good for you!Yeah, man, I know. I've held it together for three years now, and I'm not going back on myself.Don't worry about things. I just had a f!*!ed day and a f!*!ed week, and am still picking the pieces of my head up off of the floor. Things will be back to standard soon, hopefully.Don't forget that you have friends here that care about you.
I think you're doing a great job. I enjoyed hanging out with you in Myrtle Beach and at PaizoCon.
I think you're doing a great job. I enjoyed hanging out with you in Myrtle Beach and at PaizoCon.That's what I keep telling myself, at least.Good for you!Yeah, man, I know. I've held it together for three years now, and I'm not going back on myself.Don't worry about things. I just had a f!*!ed day and a f!*!ed week, and am still picking the pieces of my head up off of the floor. Things will be back to standard soon, hopefully.Don't forget that you have friends here that care about you.
Satan proofing houses wouldn't be the same without Mr. Shiny.
My roommate just found out that his best friend back home has cancer. Not good.
Ouch! I feel for him. OTOH, the ability to treat cancer has grown in the past 10 years. At least that gives him more of a fighting chance.
My dad's dad, to whom I wasn't very close passed on recently.
Good side, he was really suffering and had contracted a severe case of pneumonia.
Bad side, my dad's flipping out completely and won't stop calling me.
And, of course, this happened 3 days before my little sister's wedding.
...
FML.
I am sorry to hear that. However, at least he is not suffering. I do hope that your Dad calms down soon. Oh, and I hope that your Sister's wedding goes well.
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I am sorry to hear that. However, at least he is not suffering. I do hope that your Dad calms down soon. Oh, and I hope that your Sister's wedding goes well.
Thank you.
She's gone all born again christian (which really surprises me and I mean absolutely no offense to anyone), but seems to be dealing well with married life already.
I'd've gone to the wedding, but I couldn't afford the time off or the travel to Austin.
And, well, it would've been awkward with that whole "used to be a boy" thing...
*shrugs*
~grimaces and shrugs~ Yea, sometimes it is just best to leave things alone. I do hope that your life gets better.
something that sucks: the minor surgery i had six weeks ago.
it was for the removal of an infected cyst. i thought the surgeon did a great job, but it hurt like hell. i failed my fortitude save.
i immediately began going to a wound care center so i would get the best care possible.
four weeks after the surgery, the wound care doctor said the cyst was reforming. she then performed surgery #2.
last week, she said the cyst was actually deeper than anyone realized. she then performed surgery #3.
while i have good doctors and a good diet that will help the healing process, i'm incredibly frustrated by this situation. i can't exercise the way i want to, so my energy level is crap, and believe it or not, haven't been able to shower for six weeks! yes, it's sponge baths for me.
what makes it even worse is that because of the location of the cyst (on my back), i've been unable to attend physical therapy for a different, unrelated injury, first mentioned here. when i finally heal from the surgery, i fear i may be starting physical therapy from scratch.
something that doesn't suck is this thread. big thanks to everyone for listening. mr shiny, we're all pulling for ya.
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something that sucks: the minor surgery i had six weeks ago.
it was for the removal of an infected cyst. i thought the surgeon did a great job, but it hurt like hell. i failed my fortitude save.
i immediately began going to a wound care center so i would get the best care possible.
four weeks after the surgery, the wound care doctor said the cyst was reforming. she then performed surgery #2.
last week, she said the cyst was actually deeper than anyone realized. she then performed surgery #3.
while i have good doctors and a good diet that will help the healing process, i'm incredibly frustrated by this situation. i can't exercise the way i want to, so my energy level is crap, and believe it or not, haven't been able to shower for six weeks! yes, it's sponge baths for me.
what makes it even worse is that because of the location of the cyst (on my back), i've been unable to attend physical therapy for a different, unrelated injury, first mentioned here. when i finally heal from the surgery, i fear i may be starting physical therapy from scratch.
something that doesn't suck is this thread. big thanks to everyone for listening. mr shiny, we're all pulling for ya.
...
Wow. Get well soon! That's... sub-optimal in the extreme.
My complete inability to "read" whether a woman is interested in me, unless she walks up to me, pokes me in the chest and yells, "Hey f%#@head, I LIKE YOU!"
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Contributor, RPG Superstar 2012
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~grimaces and shrugs~ Yea, sometimes it is just best to leave things alone. I do hope that your life gets better.I'd've gone to the wedding, but I couldn't afford the time off or the travel to Austin.
And, well, it would've been awkward with that whole "used to be a boy" thing...
*shrugs*
+1
something that sucks: the minor surgery i had six weeks ago.
it was for the removal of an infected cyst. i thought the surgeon did a great job, but it hurt like hell. i failed my fortitude save.
i immediately began going to a wound care center so i would get the best care possible.
four weeks after the surgery, the wound care doctor said the cyst was reforming. she then performed surgery #2.
last week, she said the cyst was actually deeper than anyone realized. she then performed surgery #3.
while i have good doctors and a good diet that will help the healing process, i'm incredibly frustrated by this situation. i can't exercise the way i want to, so my energy level is crap, and believe it or not, haven't been able to shower for six weeks! yes, it's sponge baths for me.
what makes it even worse is that because of the location of the cyst (on my back), i've been unable to attend physical therapy for a different, unrelated injury, first mentioned here. when i finally heal from the surgery, i fear i may be starting physical therapy from scratch.
something that doesn't suck is this thread. big thanks to everyone for listening. mr shiny, we're all pulling for ya.
Wow! I hope the third time is a charm for you.
Wow! I hope the third time is a charm for you.something that sucks: the minor surgery i had six weeks ago.
it was for the removal of an infected cyst. i thought the surgeon did a great job, but it hurt like hell. i failed my fortitude save.
i immediately began going to a wound care center so i would get the best care possible.
four weeks after the surgery, the wound care doctor said the cyst was reforming. she then performed surgery #2.
last week, she said the cyst was actually deeper than anyone realized. she then performed surgery #3.
while i have good doctors and a good diet that will help the healing process, i'm incredibly frustrated by this situation. i can't exercise the way i want to, so my energy level is crap, and believe it or not, haven't been able to shower for six weeks! yes, it's sponge baths for me.
what makes it even worse is that because of the location of the cyst (on my back), i've been unable to attend physical therapy for a different, unrelated injury, first mentioned here. when i finally heal from the surgery, i fear i may be starting physical therapy from scratch.
something that doesn't suck is this thread. big thanks to everyone for listening. mr shiny, we're all pulling for ya.
+1 to that!
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My complete inability to "read" whether a woman is interested in me, unless she walks up to me, pokes me in the chest and yells, "Hey f!!~head, I LIKE YOU!"
I know exactly how you feel. For years, I was convinced that I was the most undesirable person on the face of the earth. I thought that no one was interested because I just couldn't tell. Then, a couple years back, the love of my life found ME. It can happen, man. Hang in there.
My complete inability to "read" whether a woman is interested in me, unless she walks up to me, pokes me in the chest and yells, "Hey f!!~head, I LIKE YOU!"I know exactly how you feel. For years, I was convinced that I was the most undesirable person on the face of the earth. I thought that no one was interested because I just couldn't tell. Then, a couple years back, the love of my life found ME. It can happen, man. Hang in there.
+1
My wife had to pretty much beat me over the head to make me realize she liked me. We'll be celebrating our 20th anniversary on Oct. 22. :)
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Contributor, RPG Superstar 2012
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My grandmother went into hospital for an operation yesterday (to remove a gallstone) only the doctors decided to cancel it at the last minute for some some reason currently unclear. They're sending her back to her residential home today with stone still in place.
:(
I'm really sorry to hear that, Charles. It irks me that medical professionals forget they are dealing with people who might have questions about their decisions, and suck at informing family members about what is happening.
My complete inability to "read" whether a woman is interested in me, unless she walks up to me, pokes me in the chest and yells, "Hey f&#@head, I LIKE YOU!"
This lead to my marriage.
Getting a black eye when headbutted by your american bulldog puppy. However, everyone else seems to find this hilarious. Why is this?
Getting a black eye when headbutted by your american bulldog puppy. However, everyone else seems to find this hilarious. Why is this?
Because deep down everybody knows it's a front. Mindy kicked your ass. ;)
Getting a black eye when headbutted by your american bulldog puppy. However, everyone else seems to find this hilarious. Why is this?Because deep down everybody knows it's a front. Mindy kicked your ass. ;)
Actually, she had said that she's going to give me a matching one if I don't get a job soon. Ouch.
Getting a black eye when headbutted by your american bulldog puppy. However, everyone else seems to find this hilarious. Why is this?
Whatever the reason, it's kept "America's Funniest Home Videos" on the air for decades. :)
Getting a black eye when headbutted by your american bulldog puppy. However, everyone else seems to find this hilarious. Why is this?Whatever the reason, it's kept "America's Funniest Home Videos" on the air for decades. :)
What annoys me are the people that rig up scenarios to allow themselves to get filmed and submit it as an authentic event. WHAT? WHY DON'T YOU PUT DOWN THE CAMERA AND HELP ME! I'M BLEEDING & IN PAIN!
douchebags....
Aaargh! And now I find out that not only was September a bad month for me, but that I tortured the Pathfinder Chronicler judges with my execrable excuse for fiction which I so senselessly entered in their contest. :(
Apologies to the judges, and at least I can remedy this by not ever entering again.
Dude. WTF. Srsly.
Calm down.
Your writing has improved considerably since I've first started reading it. Keep at it.
Aaargh! And now I find out that not only was September a bad month for me, but that I tortured the Pathfinder Chronicler judges with my execrable excuse for fiction which I so senselessly entered in their contest. :(
Apologies to the judges, and at least I can remedy this by not ever entering again.
Dude. WTF. Srsly.
Calm down.
Your writing has improved considerably since I've first started reading it. Keep at it.
+1. Scale back on the emo-tude, Charles. Or else people will remember you more for the comments above versus the admirable effort you're trying to accomplish in honing your craft.
Peace.
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Upon further reflection, I think the recent Pathfinder Chronicler contest demonstrated once again that I can't come up with an adequate idea to fit an alloted space. I seem to recall I missed the fiction boat on Wayfinder #2 because it took so many rewrites to get something close to fitting the word limit that the fiction entries were effectively closed by the time I got something in. On Wayfinder #3, I got in early, but massively under word count and had to come up with a sidebar to fill it out.
I have formed an impression of publishing that a good writer has to be able to hit somewhere in the region of the word count every time; and the mere amateur or journeyman writer, who can expect less sympathy from an editor, had in fact better come along with an idea that lands exactly on the money in terms of scope and word count.
Anyway, three misses and you're out isn't it in baseball? - the sane thing to do here, it seems to me, is for me to accept that I won't ever be able to write fiction for general publication and stop trying.
Sometimes as writers it takes awhile for us to find the form that fits us best. Adapting yourself to and mastering the form you want to be good at but don't have a natural affinity for takes a lot longer. I've been attempting sonnets for 10 years and my best is still mediocre compared to many others who have had to put in a fraction of the time I have. Do I envy them? Yes. Do I give up? No! Writing is the last craft you'd ever want to compare to baseball. Not being where you want after 3 tries is nothing when it comes to writing! So, in short, don't beat yourself up and give up because your ideas didn't fit the form - look for the form that fits your idea and then look for the publishing venue that will accept it, or learn how to find ideas that do fit the word count. Recognizing those comes from experience and practice.
Tonight I had to convince my best friend of 14 years not to kill herself.
Over the phone.
Tonight I had to convince my best friend of 14 years not to kill herself.
Over the phone.
Oh man. :(