All mimsy were the borogoves
Stain walks crutch and hobbled sway
Twas brillig, and the advanced slithy toves
did randomly wander in the wabe
All mimsy were the borogroves
and the mome raths outgrabed (with 10 reach).
"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The Bite +41 melee (3d6+16), the 2 claws +39 melee (2d6 8)!
Beware the Cr 16 Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious ancient, advanced Bandersnatch!"
He equipped a vorpal sword as a move equivalent action.
Long time the manxome favoured enemy he sought, rolling a 1.
Then rested he by the tum-tum tree and rolled knowledge(nature) against dc 20.
And as in uffish thought he stood, the advanced fiendish jabberwock barbarian with the eyes of flame special attack
came whiffling through the rough terrain tulgey wood and burbled as a standard action on its surprise round.
20!, 18!, 20! 19! and through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead at -24 hit points, and with its head
He went galumphing back mildly encumbered.
"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
36,000 experience, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.
Twas brillig, and the advanced slithy toves
did randomly wander in the wabe
All mimsy were the borogroves
and the mome raths outgrabed
(with 10 reach).
Cat's foot iron claw
Neuro-surgeons scream for more
At paranoia's poison door
Twenty first century schizoid man.
...He the almighty power smote
and cast headlong into the the first level of hell
spiralling headlong flaming in odious ruin
to bottomless perdition, there to languish
ever in adamantine chains with only stale beer
and sugarless kool-aid to satisfy his unqenchable
thirst...
Trogdor was a man
I mean, he was a dragon man
Or maybe he was just a dragon
But he was still TROGDOR!
TROGDOR!
Burninating the countryside,
Burninating the peasants
Burninating all the peoples
And their thatched-roof COTTAGES!
THATCHED-ROOF COTTAGES!
When all the land is in ruin,
And burnination has forsaken the countryside,
Only one guy will remain.
My money's on TROGDOR!
TROGDOR!
And theTrogdor comes in the NIIIGHT...
Quatrain XI in his 1st edition:
Here with a Loaf of Bread beneath the Bough,
A Flask of Wine, a Book of Verse - and Thou
Beside me singing in the Wilderness -
And Wilderness is Paradise enow.
Here in encounter area 7a with a loaf of iron rations beneath the bough,
A healing potion, a spellbook-and Thou
Beside me singing in the wilderness-
And Wilderness is Twin Paradises of Bytopia enow.
lurk he didst monst the wabbe
the wight of cold, no kemosabe
dead as night he slithy foebe
unto father's house agave
camp and crun amongst said harsig
wiggle down unto the bright brillig
toves n smokes n hops and jigs
sly and foul he did the wigs
in the lurch an dep all frothy cold
farthy mumsy darden sold
more than froppy happy bold
death and murder never old
snick and snap o vorpal crunch
caver carver makes his lunch
mounds and leggoes smacking munch
no wight soothings boesing hunch
_______
sigh; I do so love
portmanteau
sigh; I do so love
I love I do
Hey cavemen, Sharpen up your sticks
We'll drive that wooly mammoth right off the cliff
Now cavemen, Gather 'round the flames
We'll eat the meat and divide up what remains
Rejoice, Cavemen rejoice
Rejoice, Cavemen rejoice
Hey cavemen, Now that we are a team
We'll attack those other cavemen across the stream
We'll sneak up, Ready for a fight
We'll steal their skins and weapons in the dead of night
Rejoice, Cavemen rejoice
Rejoice, Cavemen rejoice
Ay abuna!
Rejoice, Cavemen rejoice
Rejoice, Cavemen rejoice
Rejoice, Cavemen rejoice
Rejoice, Cavemen dahuh
Ay en e uh, Ay en e uh, Ay en e uh
|
Gor-Gor... Gor-Gor comes and sirens wail
Mournful drone of babbling fail
Thunderous gnashing firestorm
Flames illuminate his form Gor-Gor comes and you must die
Swats F-16s from the sky
Admit you crave the gift he brings you
Fall worship tyrant king, you Gor-Gor!
Sow pestilent hate It shall obliterate
The shadows of your long dead brothers
And all the mutilated others
Who died in waves, uniform
To appease your bloodied hulking form
Who broke through layers of moletn strata
To make the planet earth errata
Take the chuld in champing jaws
A pulping pile of frothing flaws
This horrid mass shall give us pause
At putrid rot fills gaping maws Gor-Gor!
Gor-Gor big!
Skulls are smashed and bones are bending
Joints are popping, our claws are rending
Groveling, sniveling, driveling horde
To worship scaly overlord
Apocalypse becomes creation Gor-Gor shall erase the nation
Before you jump into his gizzard
Fall and worship tyrant lizard Gor-Gor comes and you must die
He swats the stealth down from the sky
Admit you crave the gift he brings you
Fall and worship tyrant king you Gor-Gor!
"Saving Throw" by me
To save or not to save
that is the question I ponder.
As my hit points dwindle,
I fear an early grave.
Question not the DM's roll
for she my soul can save.
Clicker-clack the die cast,
now in my grave I lay.
[Pirates of Penzance]
I am the very model of a third ed rules lawyer venerable
I've information animal and elemental and alchemical.
I know the years of Faerun, and I quote the fights historical
From Netheril to Waterdeep, in order Abeir-Torical.
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical
I understand to hit rolls, both the simple and problematical
About deflection bonuses I'm teeming with a lot o' news
With many cheerful facts about enhancement bonuses and their use.
With many cheerful facts about enhancement bonuses and their use.
With many cheerful facts about enhancement bonuses and their use.
With many cheerful facts about enhancement bonususes and their use.
I'm very good at cover and concealment calculus
I know the base attack bonus of beings animalculous
In short, in matters animal, elemental and alchemical,
I am the very model of a third ed rules lawyer venerable.
In short, in matters animal, elemental and alchemical,
He is the very model of a third ed rules lawyer venerable.
I know our mythic history, Elminster's and Dragotha's
I answer sage advice emails, I've a pretty taste for paradox
I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Asmodeus.
In spellcraft I can reconcile two spellturns simultaneous.
I can tell coexistent planes from seperate and coterminous.
I know sixty foot darkvision applies to creatures verminous.
Then I can hum a countersong to the harpies din afore
And whistle all the airs from mass suggest to thirty foot inspire.
And whistle all the airs from mass suggest to thirty foot inspire.
And whistle all the airs from mass suggest to thirty foot inspire.
And whistle all the airs from mass suggest to thirty foot inspinire.
Then I can write a stat block about a vampire's gaseous form
And tell you ev'ry detail of Lord Soth the death knight's uniform
In short, in matters animal, elemental and alchemical,
I am the very model of a third ed rules lawyer venerable.
In short, in matters animal, elemental and alchemical,
He is the very model of a third ed rules lawyer venerable.
In fact, when I know what is meant by "low light" and "darkvision"
When I can tell at sight a bec de corbin from a javelin
When such affairs as sneak attacks and surprise rounds I'm more wary at
And when I know precisely what is meant by "are they footed flat?"
When I have learnt what progress has been made in multiclass XP
When I know more of tactics than a rank in Knowledge: dungeoneer.
In short, when I've a smattering of Dungeon crawling strategy.
You'll say a better rules lawyer had never thrown a d20
You'll say a better rules lawyer had never thrown a d20
You'll say a better rules lawyer had never thrown a d20
You'll say a better rules lawyer had never thrown a dd20
For my thaumaturgical knowledge, though I'm plucky and adventury
Has only been brought to 3.5 in the beginning of this century
But still, in matters animal, elemental and alchemical,
I am the very model of a third ed rules lawyer venerable.
In short, in matters animal, elemental and alchemical,
He is the very model of a third ed rules lawyer venerable.
Refinements welcome
Sweet!
With a purposeful grimace and a terrible sound
He pulls the spitting high tension wires down
Helpless people on a subway train
Scream bug-eyed as he looks in on them
He picks up a bus and he throws it back down
As he wades through the buildings toward the center of town
Oh no, they say he's got to go go go Godzilla
Oh no, there goes Tokyo go go Godzilla
History shows again and again
How nature points up the folly of men
Cool little kaiju pentet, but the reference is lost on me. Song? Poem?
Froggy went a courting he did ride
you HAVE GOT to be kidding....like you are not serious right?
Cool little kaiju pentet, but the reference is lost on me. Song? Poem?
hehe Hoyle that was a great poem you did though; love it; and as always Tensor; yours was a pleasure. Kudos to all; great poems, but to me not very Jabberwocky; seems peeps need an outlit for poetry so maybe we should open the genre a bit from the tread title or maybe i am just a prude; who knows....
Sounds frabjous
now clear this up for me; you have heard of Godzilla by Blue Oyster Cult right Hoyle? tis wicksnicket if you haven't.
Go Download Everything BOC
I saw a werewolf drinking a pina colada at Trader Vic's
His hair was perfect
Bluegirls come in every size
Some are wise and some otherwise,
They got pretty blue eyes.
For an hour a man may change
For an hour her face looks strange -
Looks strange, looks strange.
Marching to the promised land
Where the honey flows and takes you by the hand,
Pulls you down on your knees,
While youre down a pool appears.
The face in the water looks up,
And she shakes her head as if to say
That its the last time youll look like today.
Sail away, away
Ripples never come back.
Gone to the other side.
Sail away, away.
The face that launched a thousand ships
Is sinking fast, that happens you know,
The water gets below.
Seems not very long ago
Lovelier she was than any that I know.
Angels never know its time
To close the book and gracefully decline,
The song has found a tale.
My, what a jealous pool is she.
The face in the water looks up
She shakes her head as if to say
That the bluegirls have all gone away.
Sail away, away
Ripples never come back.
Theyve gone to the other side.
Look into the pool,
Ripples never come back,
Dive to the bottom and go to the top
To see where they have gone
Oh, theyve gone to the other side...
Meandering Instrumental
Sail away, away
Ripples never come back.
Gone to the other side.
Look into the pool,
The ripples never come back, come back,
Dive to the bottom and go to the top
To see where they have gone
Theyve gone to the other side
Ripples never come back
Sail away, away...
That is why 'The Raving' has no fans
You rhymers are all over here!
But now, you have all played into my hands
so all you hear, the end is near.
And all of you must fear
Even the Jabberwocky is mere
Now, you all go to 'The Raving' and have a cold beer
Or go out and shoot some deer
Now, for me, make a great cheer
And, never dare at me to jeer
For now my face will ever leer
So finish shedding that tear
And hut, two, three, four
Hurry up in the rear!
Old pond.
Froghemoth jumps in.
Splat.
Acererak had a Tomb
Oh my! Eek! Oh No!
And in that Tomb he had some Pits...
Oh my! Eek! Oh No!
With a fall, fall here,
And a spike, spike there...
Oh my! Eek! Oh No!
next Verse:
And in that Tomb he had some Lava...
(With a burn, burn here,
And a crisp, crisp there...)
And in that Tomb he had some Curses...
(With a wish, wish here,
And an explode, explode there...)
|
And in a tunnel there was a hulk
Oh my! Eek! Oh No!
A Juggernaut of massive bulk
Oh my! Eek! Oh No!
With a roll, roll here
And a squish-splat there
Here a roll
There a roll
Here a squish
There a splat
Here a fizz
There a pop
Here a wish
There a wish
Here a burn
There a crisp
Here a fall
There a spike
Oh my! Eek! Oh No!
In Zuril's Hills did Mahurkar Zaid
A gaudy pleasure-dome ordain,
Where Ifh, the sacred river, ran
Through portals measureless to man
Down to the Pools arcane.
Roses are Red
Violets are blue
Where is my beer?
Don't tell me don't huff glue
My IQ is already 2
Mind mind's already burnt
there's nothing I can learn
So don't tell me don't huff glue
I'll kill all my brain cells if I want to