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Okay, i'll put this as simply as i can. This campaign is very strange. this is a homebrewed campaign that a good friend of mine made up. the world doesn't have a name as far as i am aware. there are no dieties, there used to be but they all left when they finished builing the world.(all divine casters take a -1 to their caster level because all of their divine power comes from books about the deities)
Next we have the dragons, all of the dragons are there (chromatic and metalic) however there are a lot of them. There are dragons everywhere. Our party (human ninja, tiefling swordsage, something else, half elf swashbuckler, killeren bard, and somekind of hell something ranger) is only 5th level right now. we have already met four or five dragons. A young bronze dragon that acts like scrappy doo. an evil medium green dragon chick, a silver dragon tavern owner, the bartender's half dragon daughter. there are others but i cant remember them.
and finally for now, the weather. that game has gone for about five sessions and we have been through, week long rain, fog so thick you could cut it with a knife, two hurricanes, and if there's no hurricane, it's gale force winds.
almost every monster we fight is at least two above our parties CR and we have nearly died at least three times. once five goblins almost killed the party of four when we were second level. somethings wrong here.
Okay, i'll put this as simply as i can. This campaign is very strange. this is a homebrewed campaign that a good friend of mine made up. the world doesn't have a name as far as i am aware. there are no dieties, there used to be but they all left when they finished builing the world.(all divine casters take a -1 to their caster level because all of their divine power comes from books about the deities)
Next we have the dragons, all of the dragons are there (chromatic and metalic) however there are a lot of them. There are dragons everywhere. Our party (human ninja, tiefling swordsage, something else, half elf swashbuckler, killeren bard, and somekind of hell something ranger) is only 5th level right now. we have already met four or five dragons. A young bronze dragon that acts like scrappy doo. an evil medium green dragon chick, a silver dragon tavern owner, the bartender's half dragon daughter. there are others but i cant remember them.
and finally for now, the weather. that game has gone for about five sessions and we have been through, week long rain, fog so thick you could cut it with a knife, two hurricanes, and if there's no hurricane, it's gale force winds.
almost every monster we fight is at least two above our parties CR and we have nearly died at least three times. once five goblins almost killed the party of four when we were second level. somethings wrong here.
WOW, that sucks i wish the player luck with this one.
Yeah. I've been there. There was this guy we used to game with who had about the most fruity-tooty setting I've ever seen. He had maps and everything. It was just the weirdest thing ever. I remember I lost my first character in a town where big war trolls run everything, and if you ever do anything they don't like they make you fight them in these big arena circles they have at the intersections of every major street. My guy got killed because he decided to sleep out in the wilderness just outside of town, when two yuan-ti of all things showed up during the night and killed him (well, in fairness, I was kicking the trash outta' them, but then the DM got mad and lowered a bunch of my stats because they were "too high" and then they killed me).
My second character joined the group as they were setting sail on a raft upon a river the width of California that runs down from a huge caldera full of lava the size of North America (these measurements given to us by the DM). Apparently this river runs crazy fast, because on his map we've gone like four inches--or roughly from San Fransisco to Monterey in a single day. When we come to a beautiful island in the middle of the crazy fast, crazy wide river, populated with beautiful babes having a big beer party. They are in fact, not beautiful beauties but are big nasty plant monsters with venus flytrap faces that make "woola-woola-woola" noises. We barely survive and return to the raft when the whole island sinks. We make our way to land, and are beset by a stampede of dracotaurs. Just as the thousands of dracotaurs are about to kill us all, the super spiffo NPC guide we have (basically Raziel from Soul Reaver) uses a huge fire spell that kills them all. This causes a grassfire, but see the grasslands go on for like thousands of miles and so we end up accidentally torching something like 20 towns and villages. Their tormented ghosts and burned undead bodies wander around the new ashen plain. We wander for days, subsisting on dead cattle and whatnot killed in the fires, until we come to an ancient ruined metropolis. In the middle of these ruins is a HUGE pyramid the size of a skyscrapper. Out in front of the skyscrapper building is an altar with a magical greatclub sitting on it. One of the characters (not the brightest penny) grabs it off the altar and starts swinging it around. A bunch of starved looking cultists come out and start calling him an infidel--so he hits him, doing NO DAMAGE. So we run. My character tries to climb up into one of the old ruins, but does too well on his climb check so the building falls on him. Dead character.
Yeah. It happens to the best of us.
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Yeah, I'm the swordsage in this campaign. The strangest thing so far is that, after five levels of playing, none of us have the foggiest idea of where we are supposed to be going or what we are supposed to be doing. The DM made this super-cool looking map, and so far, everything goes kinda like this:
Players: "OK, so where are we?"
DM: "You're in Shiptown, but you want to go to Collosseum."
Players: "Why?"
DM: "Because it's cool."
(Two sessions of random encounters occur as the players travel from Shiptown to Collosseum.)
Players: "OK. We're in Collosseum. What now?"
DM: "You want to go to Windia."
Players: "Why?"
DM: "Because it's cool."
etc, etc, etc.
As far as I can tell, the only objective is to travel to every single town on his map.
You should totally buy him Dragon Magic! It's the book that says: "What if there were even MORE dragons in D&D". Yeah, that would be an -awesome- idea.
EDIT- Or Races of the Dragon! Why just have another crummy half-dragon when you can have a SPELLSCALE! Yay what fun!
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No, you don't want to go to windia, why, because its not cool. It sucks, a lot. and as kikai13 so elequently put it, the next thing that happened was this. and i'm the half-elf swashbuckler in the game.
players: where are we?
DM: your in Windia, but you want to go to Sima Fort.
players: Why?
DM: Because it's cool. and you also want to take this crazy bird man who could possible burn down your boat at any time, either that or he'll explode and destroy the ship, but you want to take him.
It goes something like that. and it gets better. on our ship ride we get hit with the second of the hurricanes that I described earlier, but before that we were attacked by a chuul, in the fog which adds a CR to the encounter, so now we are effectivly out CR'ed by two, and we almost die. by the time we arrived at the port closest to Sima Fort, we have ruined half of our trade goods (thats 650gp down the drain) and lost three npc crew members, and almost sunk the ship (barely made the skill check to not sink)
but wait it gets better. at the port, there isn't any one there because they all went down in the town well because all of the water is gone, we haven't finished the underground giant ant farm yet, thats next week, but with our luck and our DM, there'll probably be another hurricane, in the cave, and there'll be fog, and last but nnot least, the CR will probably be too high anyway. I think the only reason we are still alive in the game is because of kikai13 and his swordsage.
No, you don't want to go to windia, why, because its not cool. It sucks, a lot. and as kikai13 so elequently put it, the next thing that happened was this. and i'm the half-elf swashbuckler in the game.
players: where are we?
DM: your in Windia, but you want to go to Sima Fort.
players: Why?
DM: Because it's cool. and you also want to take this crazy bird man who could possible burn down your boat at any time, either that or he'll explode and destroy the ship, but you want to take him.
It goes something like that. and it gets better. on our ship ride we get hit with the second of the hurricanes that I described earlier, but before that we were attacked by a chuul, in the fog which adds a CR to the encounter, so now we are effectivly out CR'ed by two, and we almost die. by the time we arrived at the port closest to Sima Fort, we have ruined half of our trade goods (thats 650gp down the drain) and lost three npc crew members, and almost sunk the ship (barely made the skill check to not sink)
but wait it gets better. at the port, there isn't any one there because they all went down in the town well because all of the water is gone, we haven't finished the underground giant ant farm yet, thats next week, but with our luck and our DM, there'll probably be another hurricane, in the cave, and there'll be fog, and last but nnot least, the CR will probably be too high anyway. I think the only reason we are still alive in the game is because of kikai13 and his swordsage.
I am shaking right now, You are right it must super really suck!!!!!!!
Players: "OK, so where are we?"
DM: "You're in Shiptown, but you want to go to Collosseum."
Players: "Why?"
DM: "Because it's cool."
(Two sessions of random encounters occur as the players travel from Shiptown to Collosseum.)
Players: "OK. We're in Collosseum. What now?"
DM: "You want to go to Windia."
Players: "Why?"
DM: "Because it's cool."
etc, etc, etc.
As far as I can tell, the only objective is to travel to every single town on his map
if I remember correctly, we never made it to collosum, we were instead attacked by an eight headed hydra half way there, in the fog. two players were killed, one ran away, and the rest didnt meet up until we made our way to Windia. also, one of the people who were killed might not have been killed by the hydra, but he was possesed by a demon, which i'm sure that'll come back to bite us in the ass later on, assuming we make it that far
That reminds me of an AOW game i played everyone died fighting this monster and the only one survived was the Rogue
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Players: "OK, so where are we?"
DM: "You're in Shiptown, but you want to go to Collosseum."
Players: "Why?"
DM: "Because it's cool."
(Two sessions of random encounters occur as the players travel from Shiptown to Collosseum.)
Players: "OK. We're in Collosseum. What now?"
DM: "You want to go to Windia."
Players: "Why?"
DM: "Because it's cool."
etc, etc, etc.
As far as I can tell, the only objective is to travel to every single town on his map
if I remember correctly, we never made it to collosum, we were instead attacked by an eight headed hydra half way there, in the fog. two players were killed, one ran away, and the rest didnt meet up until we made our way to Windia. also, one of the people who were killed might not have been killed by the hydra, but he was possesed by a demon, which i'm sure that'll come back to bite us in the ass later on, assuming we make it that far
And you are playing because...?
Players: "OK, so where are we?"
DM: "You're in Shiptown, but you want to go to Collosseum."
Players: "Why?"
DM: "Because it's cool."
(Two sessions of random encounters occur as the players travel from Shiptown to Collosseum.)
Players: "OK. We're in Collosseum. What now?"
DM: "You want to go to Windia."
Players: "Why?"
DM: "Because it's cool."
etc, etc, etc.
As far as I can tell, the only objective is to travel to every single town on his map
if I remember correctly, we never made it to collosum, we were instead attacked by an eight headed hydra half way there, in the fog. two players were killed, one ran away, and the rest didnt meet up until we made our way to Windia. also, one of the people who were killed might not have been killed by the hydra, but he was possesed by a demon, which i'm sure that'll come back to bite us in the ass later on, assuming we make it that far
Remind me of Age of Worms, Last time in Aow, you fought a moster and everyone died,but the rogue(who ran away)
I disagree. Bad sex is really bad....but I can always put up with pizza.
Bad D&D is terrible. Face facts - you're not having fun or you wouldn't be writing this thread.
Hang on...based in the above, is solo-gaming a form of masturbation???
If you want to know your DM's plot.... play Breath of Fire II. All the locations you've mentioned (and in the order presented) are in that game. It was released for the SNES and again for the Game Boy Advance.
He's using the GBA version, since in the SNES version, Colosseum was called Coursair.
Does the map look anything like this?
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RPG Superstar 2010 Top 32
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If you want to know your DM's plot.... play Breath of Fire II. All the locations you've mentioned (and in the order presented) are in that game.
<snippety>
Does the map look anything like this?
Oh my. I don't know what to say but felt the need to post after reading that. That may be the most appalling thing I've read this year.
Mind you....
Can you get cheat codes?
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that is the scariest thing i have ever seen. i looked at the map... it is exactly... i mean exactly the same map that we have. this is amazing. he did talk about Breath of Fire before we played but i never saw this coming. i do know that the DM has Breath of Fire for the SNES but wow. could you tell what happens in the story of BOF to see if it's the same?
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this post is for kikai13 who's also playing in the campaign.
i pulled these DIRECTLY off of wikipedia.com, your gonna love this.
Locations
Capitan is a town with many carpenters. It also has a ferry that takes people to the western continent
Home Town is a village located on the eastern continent. The town has a magic school where aspiring wizards attend (M school?) and is also the home base of the Rangers. It is known as a particularly boring town as the only jobs being offered to the Rangers there are for domestic chores such as laundry and house cleaning. (Bishop and his rangers guild)
Windia is the town of the Wing Clan and ruled by the Windia royal family. At the center is a huge castle that houses many of the clan's secrets and is guarded by the Guardian. There is a legend in this town that if someone with black wings is born into the royal family, it would mean disaster for the nation. The basement of the castle which is connected directly to the eastern side of the continent is built like a maze to keep intruders out.
The Magic Hood (known as Cowl in BoF I) and the Famous Flute (known as Maestro in BoF I) are still required to communicate with the people of Tunlan. The Magic Hood has been in Kilgore's family for many generations now, while the Famous Flute is a keepsake of the Highlanders at Highfort. (that dumb red hood that we gave back)
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RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32
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Holy crap. That's the exact same map, except his is drawn in pencil. Same locations, everything. I've been playing inside a Nintendo game on Thursday nights.
Yup, the guy that we have forbidden from running games tried something like this too, except he stole his map from a fantasy novel. Specifically, the land of Pern from.... some lady's book about Dragonriders. Her last name was McCaffrey, I think. Anyway, one of the other players had read the book. He was caught red-handed.
kikai13 and myself agreed to wait for the perfect moment to blow the whole thing in his face, but we have to wait for the best possible moment to ruin his game for him. it's going to be great.
Simply beef up on some direct quotes about cities and recite them word for word as he most likely would before he gets a chance. Then tell him you wish to go to such and such city to meet such and such guy to get such and such item (all three such and such's being people, places, things, hes never mentioned). Then start every fight citing what button you push to attack or what motion you wish to emulate on the directional pad.
kikai13 and myself agreed to wait for the perfect moment to blow the whole thing in his face, but we have to wait for the best possible moment to ruin his game for him. it's going to be great.Simply beef up on some direct quotes about cities and recite them word for word as he most likely would before he gets a chance. Then tell him you wish to go to such and such city to meet such and such guy to get such and such item (all three such and such's being people, places, things, hes never mentioned). Then start every fight citing what button you push to attack or what motion you wish to emulate on the directional pad.
That's just evil. I'm glad I never stole any video game plots for you guys. Then again, there aren't many video game plots that let you make a man releive himself in a tavern . . .
Before you do something, you could just ask him "what was our last save point?" or "I'd like to save before continuing."
Or everyone at once can announce,"Hey, you know, I wanted to change my character, if that's okay. I would prefer to be a puppy dog man that uses a crossbow."
"Yeah, and I want to be a huge Armadillo man. It just...feels right for this setting."
"What ECL would a woman with a snake for legs be?"
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oh, I'll tell you what happened. it was a one shot, 12th level, on the western continent. there were four of us (half-dragon dragon shaman, human cleric, paladin, and swashbuckler) i played the half-dragon. we were in some dead er.. undead town full of... undead. you know vampires and the like. our party was sent to find out why people never return from this city. that was made apparent when we entered. it was raining blood, and there was never ending zombies, skeletons, and vampire spawn, when we realized that the vampires would be back in a couple of hours after we killed them, we took refuge in a house, we found out that a vampire cant enter private property without permission (yay for knowlege religion!) we were then attacked by some kind of undead hating tounge around its arms thing... and its ogre zombie slave. the house was almost destroyed in the battle.
we killed the ogre zombie but the tounge thing ran off. i was making crappy rolls the whole time. every time i had to make a strength to break down a door i failed. here i am a half-sivler dragon with an effective strength of 30 and I cant rip a door down. we ran out of time and the killer DM i've been posting about explained what would have happened.
thats about all that happened. i think that you Kikai13 shouldn't have bought him Stormwrack, not fun. anyway another wierd thing, every town in the west was named after beer like Corona, Blue Moon. i asked him if we could go to heineken but he wouldn't let me but whatever
thats about it...
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By the way, I got a message from said DM last night. I think that he's expecting to run on Thursday. I don't know if our plan to play my game is going to work or not--if he doesn't get his way, he might start playing guitar again or something equally annoying.
You guys play a crappy SNES video game/D&D hybrid......Ha-ha.
Here is a crazy idea. Talk to him. Tell him his game sucks. Tell him the whole group thinks so. Stand together. Tell him that X is gonna start running the SCAP/AoWAP/STAP/freeform dungeon mag adventures. Tell him he is welcome to join. If he gives you crap, boot him and play elsewhere. End of story. He may get really good at the guitar with all the free time he suddenly has.You guys are pathetic. Stand up and be men, dammit, this is D&D!
I would hate to have to taunt you wimps all over these boards.
Let us know when you guys grow a pair.
FH(tough love, baby!;P)
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There are too many things that are tied to the DM for us to just boot him, that wont work. but I feel bad just plain ol' telling him that his game sucks. I think that we need to play it through and suffer through it because it is his first campaign and I kind of expectected it to be a little below par. i'm sure that when i run my first campaign that it might suck equally as bad but i'm going to try and avoid that.
I also have a question. The rule books give you rules on how to role random weather, is weather suppose to be random, or is the DM supposed to set up weather patterns and seasons, like I don't know the real world. the DM loves his random weather but i seriously doubt that we should be running in to such bad weather, especially in the good happy season of the year, The DM told us the weather is supposed to get worse than what i have already explained.
thanks for your input.
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You guys are pathetic. Stand up and be men, dammit, this is D&D!
I would hate to have to taunt you wimps all over these boards.
Let us know when you guys grow a pair.FH(tough love, baby!;P)
Watch it, Fakey, before you make me feed you your wings.
The truth of the matter is this: we have a good game going. We play it every other Thursday. In between playing sessions for the good campaign, we let this guy run in order to let him learn. He's a first time DM, and he's making all the same mistakes that most first time DMs make. We like to laugh and joke about these blunders on the boards, but we do tell him what he's doing wrong most of the time (and we are just waiting for the funniest time to hit him with the fact that we know he's running a Nintendo game.) When it comes down to it, he just wants his game to be cooler than the ones that the veteran DMs run. He hasn't realized yet that's not gonna happen.
And it would be hard for me to grow a pair--mine are solid steel, and steel is forged, not grown.
And if you taunt me again, I will be forced to downgrade your name to the title of a Nelson song.
"I say--I'll get you
If you dare defy me
To laugh at my orders
Cross over the line."
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I also have a question. The rule books give you rules on how to role random weather, is weather suppose to be random, or is the DM supposed to set up weather patterns and seasons, like I don't know the real world. the DM loves his random weather but i seriously doubt that we should be running in to such bad weather, especially in the good happy season of the year, The DM told us the weather is supposed to get worse than what i have already explained.
Nah, he just likes to throw in the occasional hurricane. I'll bet dollars to doughnuts that he didn't roll any of those results on the random chart. Just like the goblins didn't actually roll crits on two out of three attacks.
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You guys are pathetic. Stand up and be men, dammit, this is D&D!
I would hate to have to taunt you wimps all over these boards.
Let us know when you guys grow a pair.FH(tough love, baby!;P)
Watch it, Fakey, before you make me feed you your wings.
The truth of the matter is this: we have a good game going. We play it every other Thursday. In between playing sessions for the good campaign, we let this guy run in order to let him learn. He's a first time DM, and he's making all the same mistakes that most first time DMs make. We like to laugh and joke about these blunders on the boards, but we do tell him what he's doing wrong most of the time (and we are just waiting for the funniest time to hit him with the fact that we know he's running a Nintendo game.) When it comes down to it, he just wants his game to be cooler than the ones that the veteran DMs run. He hasn't realized yet that's not gonna happen.
And it would be hard for me to grow a pair--mine are solid steel, and steel is forged, not grown.
And if you taunt me again, I will be forced to downgrade your name to the title of a Nelson song.
"I say--I'll get you
If you dare defy me
To laugh at my orders
Cross over the line."
I don't got no wings, that's Celestial Healer! You would have to feed me my skirt, so naah-naaa, Kiki.
;PFH
Some people should never ever, ever, ever be allowed to DM. It's just like those people on American Idol who really think they can sing despite every piece of evidence to the contrary. Sucky DMs like this give the rest of us shining beautiful lights a bad name.
Okay, I may not be perfect, but I don't have to try too hard to be better than the guys you are talking about.
The first game I DMed sucked, too. As long as you guys can laugh about it. Maybe you want to push him towards pre-published materials...and then make fun of those, too.
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RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32
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You guys are pathetic. Stand up and be men, dammit, this is D&D!
I would hate to have to taunt you wimps all over these boards.
Let us know when you guys grow a pair.
Seriously! I remember back in my day we had a DM who didn't know what he was doing and just started making up all kinds of stupid crap. The boys and I decided we'd had enough after about a week of this, so we shanked him with a rusty piece of metal we tore off of Tom's old Chevy and let his blood water the roses in my backyard.
We don't brook this pansy DMing crap where I come from. No sir.
You guys are pathetic. Stand up and be men, dammit, this is D&D!
I would hate to have to taunt you wimps all over these boards.
Let us know when you guys grow a pair.Seriously! I remember back in my day we had a DM who didn't know what he was doing and just started making up all kinds of stupid crap. The boys and I decided we'd had enough after about a week of this, so we shanked him with a rusty piece of metal we tore off of Tom's old Chevy and let his blood water the roses in my backyard.
We don't brook this pansy DMing crap where I come from. No sir.
Did you notice a change in your roses after that? I need some gardening tips. My roses aren't terrible, but I could use a bit of help and I think something unorthodox might be a good thing.
...
...uh, I mean...yeah, then I kicked him in the junk and swore a lot! Boobs!
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You guys are pathetic. Stand up and be men, dammit, this is D&D!
I would hate to have to taunt you wimps all over these boards.
Let us know when you guys grow a pair.Seriously! I remember back in my day we had a DM who didn't know what he was doing and just started making up all kinds of stupid crap. The boys and I decided we'd had enough after about a week of this, so we shanked him with a rusty piece of metal we tore off of Tom's old Chevy and let his blood water the roses in my backyard.
We don't brook this pansy DMing crap where I come from. No sir.
Did you notice a change in your roses after that? I need some gardening tips. My roses aren't terrible, but I could use a bit of help and I think something unorthodox might be a good thing.
...
...uh, I mean...yeah, then I kicked him in the junk and swore a lot! Boobs!
Just make sure the "donor" is a vegan, meat-eaters' blood usually doesn't help unless you have the minature rose bushes (smaller buds, bushier). The larger blossom ones seem to have a bit more finicky appetite.
FH (yes and boobs also)
Wow. This looks so much like my very first game as DM.
"So, you're being chased over the mountians". "Why?" "The villagers don't like you. You wind up in a bar where you meet some people." "Who?" "That's us isn't it?" "yes" "Why are they here?" "...Er...Ok! now you're all travelling together..."
I'm so lucky my players were greener than I was.
