Ditka. mini Ditka could whup a tornado. Ditka eats Cimmerians for breakfast, and uses Stormbringer to pick the irrascible bits of Cthulhu from his teeth after lunch.
Bears are funny.
For reals?
For reals.
Conan'd wup that Jacob Razor guy. Lickety split.
Hahaha! Yay, this guy is a lumbering fool (axe joke). Where’d he learn to fight, pictures on the back of cereal boxes?
Plus, why is he killing young girls, does he have a sex problem?
Conan could be standing with his back turned, taking a leak, and still kill this guy.
How many Conan's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Huh.
What did Charles Evans say 'bout Spring Cleaing again..?
Xena ... in a heartbeat ... unless she tripped over Joxer.
I'm gonna pretend I didn't read that, Troy.
Please back out of the room slowly.
|
No. Way. No.....Kirk...toenterprise......way.
Belit would totally pwnify Xena. Give up your bases, cylon mama jama.
Belit would school you from kindygarten to an advanced phd in butt wuppins.
Xena wit' her yodelin' seff. Fighting Boudiccea one week and then trucking on over to the Trojan War that done went down 50 years or something before Boudiccea was bornded. Wuh eva.
Ditka.
Final Score:
Conan 3
Ditka 72
Joxer the mighty
He's so tidy
With Gaberielle as his sidekick
Fighting with her little stick
At least Joxer has a theme song (with lyrics), betcha Conan doesn't have that!
I'm pretty sure Conan would even take Chuck Norris
I'm pretty sure Conan would even take Chuck Norris
I'm pretty sure I could take Chuck Norris nowadays -- he's OLD!
I'm pretty sure Conan would even take Chuck NorrisI'm pretty sure I could take Chuck Norris nowadays -- he's OLD!
Yeah, but so is Conan ;)
Yeah, I think Gabrielle could take Conan too.
She's certainly a better actor ....
Could it be that 4evil could undo *the man* ??
All myths! Only one entity could... and has whup'd Conan. Yep, killed him dead. Who might that be?
** spoiler omitted **
Except for that part where he chopped your head off.
Who could kill Conan?
*Begins list*
...Agent Squirrel, Winnie the Poo, awakened chipmunks...
All myths! Only one entity could... and has whup'd Conan. Yep, killed him dead. Who might that be?
** spoiler omitted **
Except for that part where he chopped your head off.
Yeah. Fortunatly for Thoth, he owed me money, so I kicked Conan's god-facing ass, raised Thoth, and got the kittens that I was owed.
|
All myths! Only one entity could... and has whup'd Conan. Yep, killed him dead. Who might that be?
** spoiler omitted **
Except for that part where he chopped your head off.
Never really happened. It as just my astral double. The mere idea that someone thought s/he vanquished me, suited my needs at the moment... and it wasnt the first time, nor will it be the last. I've been around for centuries for a reason, my dear Tensor. Yes, I am that powerful. All Hail Set!
From one synaptic spark in the Mind of Thoth-Amon
|
|
I wish I had caught this thread when it began.
No one can beat Conan. For a very simple reason:
Conan is the Will to Power incarnate. While it's true that he is merely a very intelligent, highly skilled thief, a fearsome barbarian warrior, a daring and genius strategist and general, and the most powerful king of Hyboria, and thus should be easily defeated by any number of foes, the simple fact is that no one can beat Conan if he wants to beat them.
Because if Conan wants something, if he wills it to be so, then it will be so.
That said, one could technically defeat Conan by any number of means, most of which involve destroying everything around him in a several mile radius. Perferably from orbit.
If Conan doesn't know you exist, and you catch him off guard with a nuclear weapon, you might get him.
"I say we take off, and nuke them from orbit. It's the only way to be sure."
Sometimes, movies just get it right...
|
|
I wish I had caught this thread when it began.
No one can beat Conan. For a very simple reason:
Conan is the Will to Power incarnate. While it's true that he is merely a very intelligent, highly skilled thief, a fearsome barbarian warrior, a daring and genius strategist and general, and the most powerful king of Hyboria, and thus should be easily defeated by any number of foes, the simple fact is that no one can beat Conan if he wants to beat them.
Because if Conan wants something, if he wills it to be so, then it will be so.
That said, one could technically defeat Conan by any number of means, most of which involve destroying everything around him in a several mile radius. Perferably from orbit.
If Conan doesn't know you exist, and you catch him off guard with a nuclear weapon, you might get him.
This guy's a genius.
I think he wrote the Nemedian Chronicles.
Marvel comics could kill Conan off twice, their facet of the IP anyway.
First, show him lose a Felliniesque chess game with death, despite his gifts for strategy. It wasn't really fair, Death had every great player in the afterlife coaching him for years. First death, confirmed.
Then Marvel would revive the franchise one year later, only C man would sport a buzz cut, be a little more buff, and perhaps black... with the new name Conan X. This time he's transported to our modern world and he rides around looking for people to punish, still speaking in his ol' barbarian king speak which really mystifies and arouses those he saves and severely annoys those he slays. That kind of poor marketing move ensures: Second and final death, confirmed...
I know it was a hard thing to see spelled out... but that's how to kill one part of Conan... the comic book part, at least.
How to kill the Howard's Conan specifically? Simple, go back in time and kill Robbie before he ever wrote the thing. Duh.
|
|
I wish I had caught this thread when it began.
No one can beat Conan. For a very simple reason:
Conan is the Will to Power incarnate. While it's true that he is merely a very intelligent, highly skilled thief, a fearsome barbarian warrior, a daring and genius strategist and general, and the most powerful king of Hyboria, and thus should be easily defeated by any number of foes, the simple fact is that no one can beat Conan if he wants to beat them.
Because if Conan wants something, if he wills it to be so, then it will be so.
That said, one could technically defeat Conan by any number of means, most of which involve destroying everything around him in a several mile radius. Perferably from orbit.
If Conan doesn't know you exist, and you catch him off guard with a nuclear weapon, you might get him.
Are we talking about Conan here, or Chuck Norris?
Thoth-Amon
I'm pretty sure Conan would even take Chuck NorrisI'm pretty sure I could take Chuck Norris nowadays -- he's OLD!
I want to see this match!
Conan's mom.
First, show him lose a Felliniesque chess game with death...I think you mean Bergmanesque?
Also, if Marvel couldn't kill Conan by making him travel to the '70's and become a pimp, I don't know whether it's possible.
Frickin heck! Yes, Bergman. Jeez, I was just talking about Bergman last week and yet when I go to type his name in, all the sudden I go wazoo in my head. I hate when that happens. It's alright not knowing something, but asking for a sandwich and saying 'air conditioner' instead? What a revolting feeling.
Onions on my air conditioner please. :)
...
That said, one could technically defeat Conan by any number of means, most of which involve destroying everything around him in a several mile radius. Perferably from orbit.
If Conan doesn't know you exist, and you catch him off guard with a nuclear weapon, you might get him.
I see what you are getting at. Interesting concept(s) here; perhaps a few computer simulations are in order to test this scenario.
If you burn all the food stock on the planet, he may starve. But, I think he can eat rocks when necessary.
However, a nuclear blast would only harden his skin with a glassy sheen, and perhaps cauterize a few beads of glass in his hair, barbarian style.
...
How to kill the Howard's Conan specifically? Simple, go back in time and kill Robbie before he ever wrote the thing. Duh.
The problem with going back into time to kill the parents of your enemy, is that for every bad guy that goes back in time a good guy goes back to stop the bad guy. An infinite regress is created. A regress that converges, mind you, and *our reality* is the result!
The problem with going back into time to kill the parents of your enemy, is that for every bad guy that goes back in time a good guy goes back to stop the bad guy. An infinite regress is created. A regress that converges, mind you, and *our reality* is the result!...
How to kill the Howard's Conan specifically? Simple, go back in time and kill Robbie before he ever wrote the thing. Duh.
So... the rule for time the travel aided dispensing of justice is generally, "If you don't start nuttin it won't be nuttin'?"
<Kills the Jade>
"Anyone else?"