It was a dark and stormy night.
Heathansson found himself making useless threads throughout.
But there was evil afoot the messageboards,
stalking werewolves frightening subscribers wearing nothing but
a "modestly" placed Rod of Lordly Might.
(Edit: unless the subject is plural, in which case `some "modestly" placed Rods of Lordly Might.`)
Shockingly, the stalkers revealed themselves by suddenly
(Edit: when in doubt, more is more, so our subject is plural)
rolling intiative without waiting for anyone else.
Instantly, their Rods changed into flaming longswords +1
a most cacophanous chorus of the damned
anyone had ever heard then started singing
"Total Eclipse of the Heart" to induce
crazed hobbo sex at the local Tacohell
...which lasted well into the next evening.
The rain fell, and the thunder clapped
as nature desperately tried to drown out
the dreadful banshee-wail of Bonnie Tyler tunes
(Were the werewolves or the subscribers wearing the aforementioned rods?)
. Alas, it was unsuccesful, as the hellish
(It must be the werewolves - not even deranged werewolves would be silly enough to stalk anyone that wears a Rod of lordly might)
sound like horribly dying krenshars wailed on
by berserk wolverines in a bagpipe factory
mercilessly tore the weeping night itself asunder.
Again and again the Thunderer cast Mjolnir
against clouds of hollow steel, booming louder
as clouds marched so marched the Einherjar,
hair braided with ceremonial battle plaits, weapons
drawn and sharp at Jotunheim's gates marching
across the Bifrost bridge to wage war
at twilight of the gods last gleaming
star before it burst into a thousand
sunbursts bright enough to blind all who
looked upon it. In the end, nobody
saw it until the thing was upon
them, and then it was too late;
Bonnie Tyler had taken over the world
, enslaving all mortals in her attempt to
revive her career. Her attempt would ultimately
cause massive outbreaks of cannibalism, mayhem, rioting,
and the timely demise of Bonnie Tyler.
This prophetic foretelling greatly relieved everyone, as
the evil Lich Queen of the 80's
was responsible for much self-mutilation and apocalyptic
cult activities, all of which had been
blamed on metal bands such as W.A.S.P.,
and Michael Jackson. The authorities investigating the
incident were holding out for a hero.
Wait, what are the rules of this
Hey!?!?! Why did my last message get
Ah. I see. I guess I'm ruining
Never mind. Carry on. I am done.
Not just any hero, mind you, but
one that was fresh from the fight;
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