all the hookers and blow money can
buy in this crazy economy. The 'Shat
had trouble booking a hotel so he
leveled a city block, and slept in
the burning rubble, because that's how he
rolls and rolls and rolls. Priceline cancelled
all reservations for PaizoCon rooms, so 'Shat
could use them all for his concubines
, wenches, dames, birds, broads, hos, goomahs, companions,
and a collection of OJ Simpson memorabilia.
He prankcalled Nimoy, speaking as Christopher Lee
he deeply intoned, "Luke..... I am your
fahja." To which Nimoy replied, "What's a
fahja? You silly person." and hung up.
Then the phone exploded, and Nimoy flew
onto the set of Fringe, where Pacey
pointed and giggled incesantly like a little
hyena hopped up on meth. "My eyes
see you walking on sunshine," sang the
fat opera mammies in their Viking helms,
coconut bras, and silly clown shoes. When
the sun set in Oslo, the theatre
was set on fire, thus celebrating the
invention of "moving pictures" and the silver
vulnerability of certain mythological creatures known for
trouncing sparkly vampires and just looking hot
under the collar. The lord giveth and
flosseth his teeth to prevent tooth decay
and plaque build up. He also uses
Brylcreem, because a lil dab'll do ya!
For keeping ears clean, the Lord recommends
Being a perfectly simple being. That way...
lies madness, of course, for no mere
Insignificant halfling, gnome, or itsy bitsy tiny
gremlin keep themselves clean anyway. They stink
like sunshine on a very cloudy day.
"Where has the Hamburglar gone?" asked the
guy who looked like Pee Wee Herman
"Hamburglar....AIEEEEEE!!!!....the Word of the Day!"
Not to be confused with the "Paragraph
of the Week", a regular feature on
the somewhat eerie James Jacobs fansite called
The Big Comfy Dungeon staring the famous
-ly flamboyant Giant Dinosaur, Barney. He picked
a peck of pickled peppers, pruning
properly. The purple pest pondered the purpose
of social websites, such as the popular
MyLinkedFaceJournal.com, a site where all the cool
ones go to waste their lives away.
Barney joined a support group called "My
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