the AM and realized that he'd done
something awful when he saw the severed
Stay Puft head congealing in its own
pool of sugary sweet vomit. On Saturday
he buried it in the garden while
complaining incessantly about groundhogs and proton packs...
A roving pack of grandmas dug it
up and began to argue endlessly about
spell casters being superior to non casters
. One of the grandmothers stabbed another with
a chainsaw, sparking an all-out brawl which
lasted all of 2 seconds, leaving several
shiny new quarters and sweet chews scattered
haphazardly across the filthy privy floor, but
proved the chainsaw was mightier than the
Depends chainmail they sported. "Silly armor to
wear really. And it doesn't stop leaks
so it can't double as a wetsuit,
...soon it will be Christmas Day!" shouted
Cindy Lou Who, who had just been
seen wearing a very revealing pair of
Lady Wrangler bootcut jeans, sporting a Skoal
denim jacket she won for sending in
stuff she got while dumpster diving behind
her Friendly Local Gaming Store one sunny
January evening. "This smells like my daddy!
Paternity tests proved that the Grinch was
the true father of Tiger Woods's kids
and his heart shrank three sizes! Lawyers
, guns, and money were sent via DHL
to the Contra's, who sold them for
skeins of radioactive yarn in attractive colors.
"That will teach all of these miserable
knitters to mess with Texas!"
Jeff Dunham
went on tour in Bangladesh, where he
visited many lovely lakes and dentists. Afterwards
he ordered a Crunchy Frog and Albatross.
Although his Norwegian Blue was stone dead,
he nailed it to its perch hoping
that some sucker would buy it. Jeff
Cried, "Weee weee weee," all the way
to the Motor Mile, where he hoped
the last train to clarksville would be
a giant transforming robot in disguise which
would be operated by a Topemhat clone
and finally rid the city of roaches.
"Well that's about the dumbest thing I've
smelled," crooned Jeff. "I must remember to
consult with Michael Bay and Rob Zombie
On the best American Idol look-a-likes that
|