How do you tell your girlfriend you play D&D!?


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Ok i've tryed explaining d&d to people before but it always comes out like "so you pretend to be someone your not!!?" kinda thing.
But sooner or later your girlfriend is gonna wanna know what you do on those "boy's nights" so im wondering what other guys have done when it comes to this.
And it's not like i can warm her up with some 40k wargaming stuff because she has'nt heard of any of it but i have slowly been leaving my Angel, Firefly, LOTR's, Star Wars etc dvd's out so hopfully she is starting to click on the im abit of a geek=)

I've been playing d&d for a while now(4+ years i think)and really dont wanna give it up.........
but she's really hot and kinda slutty im pretty sure i've seen all the porn there is to be seen on the net!!=)


Okay, this is how you explain it to her. When she asks what you do on your boy's night out, you go out and rent Brokeback Mountain, and watch it together.

Before you answer any of her questions, pull out a copy of "The Gamers" and watch it.

Then you tell her that what you do on your boy's nights out is way closer to the second movie than the first, and no matter what she thinks of your hobby, at least she'll be releived.


Hmm... very difficult, very difficult indeed. Of course I have never went into a relationship without my other knowing that I play D&D. My ex-fiance never played (except one failed attempt at VtM), but I introduced my wife to D&D the first week we started dating (of course she knew me from high school and once again knew I played D&D), she has been gaming since.

I've always explained it like a cross between a board game and acting (since my group uses minitures for combat, etc). The Dungeon Master is like the writer/director, and the players are the improv actors.

I dunno, but it basically does come down to acting like someone else. You could always go with, its like the Lord of the Rings, except instead of Gandalf and the Fellowship, we make 'characters' to replace them.

All in all, it comes down too that a person who doesn't play D&D isn't going to understand what D&D is until A) they watch it (not the best option), or B) they play it (best option!).

The Exchange

KnightErrantJR wrote:

Okay, this is how you explain it to her. When she asks what you do on your boy's night out, you go out and rent Brokeback Mountain, and watch it together.

Before you answer any of her questions, pull out a copy of "The Gamers" and watch it.

Then you tell her that what you do on your boy's nights out is way closer to the second movie than the first, and no matter what she thinks of your hobby, at least she'll be releived.

Cowboys are cool too....

I have a prediction. A year or so in the future. You will be kicking yourself because you quit your favorite game over some sl*t that cheated on you with some idiot you know because she felt "lonely". NEVER GIVE UP YOUR PASSIONS FOR A PIECE OF TAIL!!!! You will eventually realize that you should have found a gamer chick! What is cooler? Doin' the horizontal kink fest or exploring the Emerald Caverns of Kwasithnor AND THEN doin' the horizontal kink fest with your gamer-chick? Gamer-chicks use their imaginations WAY more then slutty chicks. More imagination=ridiculously cool ugly-bumpin'. Just ask Lilith's hubby, the dude can't even type most of the time cause he never posts on the boards. *Just kiddin', Lil!*
You need to tell her "I play D&D when I'm out with the guys." and inject as much pride into that statement as possible. She don't like it, well, she gave it up to a gamer! HA!

FH


Don't ever quit playing for someone else. Ever.


I commit fully. I expect the same from my lady. So it's like, "Play D&D with me or you won't get any more of this sweetness."

Buy 'em satin dice. Overpower their first character.

"All 18's how'd you do that?!"
"I don't know!"
"Hey! Your wizard just tripped over a staff of the archmagi!"
"Is that good?"
"For your first day? Kinda, yeah."

Whatever ya gotta do, man.

Get people addicted to your unique and wonderful qualities and they won't care if you eventually reveal that you wrestle babies for a living.


Well, my ex wife basically joined my group, expected special treatment, made up a cleric so everyone in the party would be beholden to her, and generally destroyed by old group from the inside out.

My current, wonderful wife likes sci fi and loved the Chronicles of Narnia and LOTR, but she won't play D&D because its "my thing." I totally get this, because while you need a lot of things in common, you need some things that are your own as well.


SteveO wrote:


but she's really hot and kinda slutty im pretty sure i've seen all the porn there is to be seen on the net!!=)

Y'know, if that last bit read - " ..and she's really cool and i want her to meet my friends. " , I'd say to just say "I play DnD. Wanna meet the guys ? "...instead i'll just say ADMIT nothing and DENY everything about DnD 'cos it's not gaming or realationship issues you're worried about...


Makes a lot of sense, Knight.

I can't imagine being with someone who wouldn't play the game responsibly. Guess I'm attracted to those thoughtful types.

I could never be with someone who didn't want to see LOTR or similar flights of fancy. That said, I can't believe how many Paizonians can watch Sci-Fi channel movies. I've tried but I can't... I just can't...

I guess there's a fine balance with me.


I'm with Fake Healer on this one - what he says has merit!

In my experience (been playing D&D for almost 23 years now), there are two kinds of women when it comes to gaming - Those who have the imagination to embrace it, and those who don't.

For those who can deal, D&D is easy. They just get it. It's a fun game, that brings a group of friends together every week or two, for some laughs and good times.

For those who can't deal, well, you are S.O.L. if you think you will get them to open up to it.

BUT do not despair! From your above comments I am assuming that you are dealing with a women that has no real idea what D&D is - so there is hope for you yet. In this situation (where you are going to make an attempt at introducing someone to the game), the most important thing is HOW YOU, YOURSELF, REGARD THE GAME!!!

If you come to her and present it like; "Hey there is this geeky thing I go and do every week", she is going to think that it's geeky!

That's why you have to have some pride about what you are doing! Remember all of those books on women you are always reading? Remember how they say "Confidence is Key"? Well, the same holds true here. If she asks what you do on your guys-night out, you tell her; "I get together with my friends, and play a game called Dungeons and Dragons!" - and when she says "Isn't that all satanic and s*#*," you say, "No, but it's the next best thing!"

Just kidding on that last statement, but seriously, you have to be comfortable enough with yourself to admit that you play, it is your hobby, and that you think that it is as bad-ass as your favorite band!

If she gets curious about it, tell her that it is probably too intense for her, and that she probably couldn't handle it (at least the first couple of times she asks), before letting her join in a session - that way she builds up some desire of her own to see what this game is all about, rather than tagging along because you asked her to!

Lastly, when telling her about the game try to be as dramatic as possible... Say things like "Mike's character was hanging on by a thread when the Hellhounds surrounded him on all sides" - this just sounds less geeky than, "Mike's 6th-level Wizard was down to 13 hit points, before the Hellhounds breath-weaponed him for another 20 damage! I was like, AHHHHH NO EVASION, you are so dead!!!"

Get it?

Just remember that the game speaks for itself - your job is to get her to approach it without the wrong pre-conceived ideas, (namely that it is geeky, or that she needs to check it out because you like it)!

Anyway - ENGLAND PREVAILS!!!


If she asks,"So what do you guys do when you get together every week?", you just tell her that you play Dungeons and Dragons. And if she asks for an explanation, ask her if she wants to sit in on a game or play a short one just with you to learn what it is. Even if she decides that it isn't for her or if it's nerdy, she's more likely to either dismiss it as your "weird hobby", decide that it may not be for her but that it's a harmless form of entertainment that's a bit more cerebral than just watching the game, or that you're an interesting and eclectic person for doing something outside of the main stream.


Or you could use the classic line, "Sweetheart, I think I'm a 20th level Paladin stuck in the body of a 2nd level commoner." And really confuse her.


I remember when a friend of mine tried to explain what gaming was to me over the phone. I didn't understand a word of it and sat around for a week end wondering what the heck he was talking about. Then I went over to his house and he said "just try this". I've been hooked ever since. I guess what I am trying to say is the best way to explain the game it to try it, otherwise it just come out sounding weird. I know the game has a lot of stigma, most of it unfair. I belive however, that if people can try it or at least see people playing it then they will see for themselves that the hype really isn't true. If they won't even do that, then it's their loss not your's.

BTW, amen to what Fake Healer said, don't let a bunch of hormones get in the way of a fun and rewarding hobby. Lust goes away, but the friends and experiences you have with them gameing will not.


Sel Carim wrote:


BTW, amen to what Fake Healer said, don't let a bunch of hormones get in the way of a fun and rewarding hobby. Lust goes away, but the friends and experiences you have with them gameing will not.

Amen brother!!! I know what you guys mean dont get me wrong, i hear ya, but i also think there comes a time when you have to put down the dice and pick up the "tail"!

I remember when my work mate told me about d&d(roleplaying)4 years ago and i was like...."wha??huh??you do what??!!" but when i went around and had a game i was hooked and now my gaming group are my best mates and i would do anything for them!

But who i am kidding...i never gonna give this game up!!!=)

Also keep this going, people have some good idea's/advise here and hopfully one day im gonna need them for Mrs D20=)

Liberty's Edge

KnightErrantJR wrote:

Well, my ex wife basically joined my group, expected special treatment, made up a cleric so everyone in the party would be beholden to her, and generally destroyed by old group from the inside out.

Oh my gosh. It's Yoko Ono.

Liberty's Edge

This is some hard territory to give advice on to me, because I don't really know how anybody is playing it.
I think in the long run, if somebody can't accept you for who you are and what you do for a hobby, they are either going to try and change you or you are going to have to make some changes. And if they want to change you, to hell with that. They should go find what they want off the damn rack, and to hell with making alterations. If you want to change your life that's good, but you have to do it for you, not for a carrot being dangled in front of your nose.
And I really don't think playing a little Dungeons and Dragons with the guys once a week is that big a hassle for a woman to put up with. There's lotsa lotsa lotsa worse things men do. It's like playing poker night or something. Big deal. Get over it.


A lot of good advice has been given here already, but the most important thing is don't compromise yourself for someone else. Ever. If they can't accept you for who you are, screw 'em...um...in a biblical sense...i think...

--Fang

Dark Archive

The truth of it is, that it is better to be honest and be yourself with whomever you are having a relationship with no matter what the subject is, including D&D. I am very fortunate in that my wife is also a gamer and we are about to start a weekly campaign with some friends for the Savage Tide. And yes, I agree with the guy who said that gamer chicks give some seriously nasty bumpin. I've been with my share of women, but the only gamer is my wife, and she is by far the best in bed I have ever had. That little side note out of the way, you will be much happier in the relationship if you don't feel like you have to hide things about yourself from your girlfriend/fiance/wife or whatever. If she is so bothered by the fact that you play D&D that she doesn't want to be with you, then she probably wasn't right for you in the first place. There are a lot of beautiful women in the world, and there are plenty of those that play D&D. If your current girlfriend can't be an adult about it, go find a woman who can.


SteveO wrote:


but she's really hot and kinda slutty im pretty sure i've seen all the porn there is to be seen on the net!!=)

This statement leads me to think you're just in it for the sex. Sex is good and one of those activities ahead of D&D on the life priority list. The advice listed above is excellent. Why is telling her about it an issue? Because D&D is not a "mainstream hobby." How do you fix it if you HAVE to tell her what you're doing on those boy's nights out.

Tell her it's poker night. You're just in it for the sex and you're not going to end up marrying a slutty one anyway (if you do, Pelor help you) so that'll shut her up, answer her questions and who cares whatelse.

The first time I laid eyes on my wife, she was playing Galaga and she didn't turn around to say hi to me until the game was switching levels. Our first night out together we talked about the differences between Star Trek: TNG and Star Trek: The original series. She hung out and brought us beers and snacks for a year while she watched us play D&D, then joined the game and has been one of the best players I've played with for almost ten years now........ahhhh....love :)

If you absolutely do have to tell her that you play D&D, do it after she's had a massive OOOOOO and you're rubbing her back and nibbling on her ears. It is just sex after all.... ;)


If it were me, I'd have mentioned it really early one so the relationship wouldn't have had a chance to grow in case she dumped me for it.
I'd rather be dumped after nothing has happened than be dumped after a great relationship has been built.

Just my two coppers.


SteveO wrote:


I've been playing d&d for a while now(4+ years i think)and really dont wanna give it up.........

...but she's really hot and kinda slutty...

These are the two quotes that worry me.

Okay, you like your hobby. Good.

Okay, you have a hot girlfriend. Good. It's the "kinda slutty" that bothers me. Now, I'm not saying take all the Hestian Virgins, what I am saying is make the priority one or two. If you want to play with the hot girl, she's going to demand something from you, usually what you want to give up the least. That's been my experience, and gaming tends to be high on their list.

NOW, GIVEN that you are a gamer, a geek, so to speak, what you have to think about in your mind is what to tell her. I have two questions: How long have you been dating? Why should she care? Seriously, the superficial b/s that people put out in front of them annoys me to no end. Yes, we all have to do it now and again, but it is not necessary to make that the centerpiece for a healthy life. As others have pointed out, there are some pretty fun ways to tell her about your hobby.

IF she is into Sci-fi and/or fantasy already, then the step is easy. If she is more the Brittney Spears/Sweet Home Alabama (just if this is the only genre she likes), then it becomes more tenuous.
If it's just about getting some good sleep, remember that sleep isn't as important as feeling whole yourself. If it's not just about the sleep (and your comments lead me to believe it's about the sleeping), then you have less to worry about. So, a young, hot woman has chosen a gamer, stranger things have happened.

If you already have doubts, then tell her what you do. If she balks, and says she doesn't want to have anything more to do with you, then kick her out. S-O-U-N-D-L-Y. No rebound, not coming back, deal with it. Why am I this cold? I've played that game, nearly lost all my friends (and the people who HAVE supported me through not one, not two, but THREE of my darkest hours (see thread in off topic discussions if you want to know more about the third one, here: http://paizo.com/paizo/messageboards/general/offTopicDiscussions/grimGreyca stlesSon). All three of my events were life shattering, but the third is the worst. I get help from random gamers (even if it's an "everything is going to turn out alright"), and what did I get from the people I met while dating? Told to bugger off.

So while I've ranted, I hope in my random rage at the world that I've helped you. Just remember, to thine own self be true. If you see yourself with her in 3-199,000 years, think about if she's draining you of your friends or people that are fun to be around. If she's doing that, then she is far from worth it, end of story. If it's just a good time, enjoy the time you have, and don't worry about how she feels about gaming. If, as I truly hope for you, she is an honest, easygoing young woman... then you've found what all gamers should have.

I hope that you have the confidence in yourself to know the difference, and the independence to do what is necessary, no matter what.

Good Luck and Good night.
Darkmeer the Dark, signing off.


The 'single gamer' stereotype is way overplayed. Granted, I'm only 22 but I've never met anyone whose relationship terminations ever resulted even indirectly from gaming. It's just a hobby after all right? In fact, I've never met a gamer that didn't/couldn't easily get a significant other. My best college buddy was a regular gamer and the most charismatic guy in the entire school and had women practically throwing themselves at him. My point is, though I've always hated these words, 'there's nothing to fear but fear itself.'

A little off topic I know, but it's late and I'm tired.


James Keegan wrote:
Or you could use the classic line, "Sweetheart, I think I'm a 20th level Paladin stuck in the body of a 2nd level commoner." And really confuse her.

Yeah..I like the idea of the 20th level paladin....does he have a pegasus too???


Tequila Sunrise wrote:

The 'single gamer' stereotype is way overplayed. Granted, I'm only 22 but I've never met anyone whose relationship terminations ever resulted even indirectly from gaming. It's just a hobby after all right? In fact, I've never met a gamer that didn't/couldn't easily get a significant other. My best college buddy was a regular gamer and the most charismatic guy in the entire school and had women practically throwing themselves at him. My point is, though I've always hated these words, 'there's nothing to fear but fear itself.'

A little off topic I know, but it's late and I'm tired.

You should know by now that there's nothing to worry but fear itself....


Tequila Sunrise wrote:
I'm only 22

You're 22? That avatar actually fooled me. I thought you were my elder for some time now. Well, testament to a mature writing style...

Scarab Sages

...and really, you've never seen all the porn on the net. I know, I've tired. View all you like, they make more. It's amazing that way...

...oooh, look! Midget's in pony outfits!

Scarab Sages

Amen, F2K! I can fall in lust 10 or 12 times a day... more with the summer dress codes here in Texas, but the Will save has increased with age and the 'lower king' doesn't command the whole kindom as he once did.


Gavgoyle wrote:
Amen, F2K! I can fall in lust 10 or 12 times a day... more with the summer dress codes here in Texas, but the Will save has increased with age and the 'lower king' doesn't command the whole kindom as he once did.

I had deleted that post after I thought about it, but what I said that the lust never goes away and that you just build up a much greater increased WILL save to resist it with age. Sorry, Gavgoyle--I was self-censoring myself in the interest of the PG rating.


Fake Healer wrote:

What is cooler? Doin' the horizontal kink fest or exploring the Emerald Caverns of Kwasithnor AND THEN doin' the horizontal kink fest with your gamer-chick? Gamer-chicks use their imaginations WAY more then slutty chicks. More imagination=ridiculously cool ugly-bumpin'.

FH

Quoted for truth.

Non-gamer chick gives you alot of one world.
Gamer chick can give you both worlds.

Scarab Sages

Thanks, man...make me look even more random than usual :P LOL

Lantern Lodge

SteveO wrote:

...but she's really hot and kinda slutty im pretty sure i've seen all the porn there is to be seen on the net!!=)

Well I can understand, being a strait male myself, your conundrum. Quandry. Dielema, whatever. So here are some rules.

First rule, Show her LoTR first as all women love the LoTR films. It's like a rule or somthing.

Second rule, say that D&D is kinda like that, only in dice form. If she's response is positive, procede to step 3. If it's negitive, step 4.

Step 3 is simply playing a game of D&D with her. help her make a character and start her with a simple one on one game (orc & pie anyone?) DO NOT bring her into the gaming group imidiatly as this can seriouly disrupt the game since she dose not seem to know about gaming in general. If she is positive to the one on one games, bring her to check out an accual gaming session.
Don't sweat it if she dose not seem that into playing the game.
Remeber that your objective is not to find another player but to show her that your hobby is not a reason for her to leave you for that A-Hole at the Gym. If, however, her responce at any time during this step is extremly negitive (best case senario she thinks it's Dee Dee Dee, worst case senario she's hostile against it) then procede to step 4. Otherwise, enjoy the comforts of having a hot girlfriend who's ok with your D&D lifestyle.

Step 4. Well, if your at this point, then it's not going to work out. Sorry, it won't. Your inner gamer will be in ever conflict with your iner cave man as long as you are in this relationship. At this point, I have only this much advice left.

Bro's before Ho's
Dice before vice,
and if she's not in a chainmail bikini, then she's not that hot!

Also I would like to add at this time under ANY circumstance should you let here see the Dungeons & Dragons movie she'll be turned off gaming faster than a CR 1 Trap by a 30th lvl Rouge. Gawd that movie was bad.

PEACE!


FlashMan wrote:

Bro's before Ho's

Dice before vice,
and if she's not in a chainmail bikini, then she's not that hot!

I had this weird vision of putting that on a military-style shoulder-crest. It's kinda like a motto you'd hear at some kind of Elk Club or Possum Lodge.

Either way, I gotta remember that one.


I would tell her that it is my hobby and try to explain what it is all about. A one-on-one session might be a good idea, you don´t even need to go into all the rules. Showing her what the game is about is probably a lot easier than trying to describe in a thousand words.

If she develops an interest in it, fine, if she doesn´t care, thats ok as well, but if she ever tells you " It´s either me or your game", my choice would be clear, and it would not be her...

Stefan

The Exchange

The love of my life doesn't game, but she already knew I did before we started going out together. Her view is that it is my hobby, and I am entitled to it. We are old enough to realise that you don't have to be joined at the hip (I'm 35, she's 41).

SteveO, you sound like a relatively young man, so the hormones are going mad. But once all of that is out of the way, you need to consider - what is more important: your hobby or the girl. Hopefully, even if she doesn't game herself,she can accept it. If she thinks you are a sad geek, and wants you to give it up, that is a sign that maybe you should merely treat her as a sexual plaything, to use and throw away - cos she probably feels the same about you. Have fun, and keep on looking for the right girl who will love you for what you are.

You need to be true to yourself, man. Anything else, and the relationship is doomed.


SteveO, i can give you a good idea about this i think. I've been playing DnD for the last 20 years and during that time i had lots of girlfriends and i can say that i realized that the fact that a girl accepts gaming every week or at least 3 times a months is something that puts a girls devotion to you to a test. I've seen it with friends girlfriends and on myself as well.

If a girl doesnt tolerate your hobby and way of relaxation then she is not in real love with you. That is for sure! I suggest that if she doesnt tolerate any stupidity of yours you just dump her or use her as a concubine but dont put too much effort into convincing her... Take her out partying, dinner, movies, have crazy sex, but dont fall in love with a chick who doesnt tolerate you spending time with RPG. You will feel empty and controlled and finally you will go with someone who doesn't care, but smiles at your childishness for being a gamer.

Who wants to grow up anyway :)


This is gold guys!!!!!
But don't worry, in the short time since i started this thred i've come to realise that,
A- im not gonna marry this girl and
B- gaming is me...and i love it!

So after another great Monday "Boys Night" of gaming(AOW)if a chick dont like it.....tough! Cos im gonna play either way.

And this is a note for any woman out there(if any)reading this thred,
Gaming chicks are sexy!!
Nothing like a nice par of D20's in a girls hand to get the night rolling!

The Exchange

As a follow-up, I wouldn't even bother explaining what D&D is about unless she specifically asks and don't invite her to a game unless she asks. Don't make a big deal of it. Hey, you spend a few hours a week with chums engaging in a fairly wholesome, harmless hobby. Beats going out and getting drunk and drugged up.

Guys often have to do some growing up, but so do some girls. If you are hanging around with young girls who don't "get" gaming, you may need to conceal your hobby if you want a greater chance of meaningless sex (and don't get me wrong, meaningless sex can be quite good fun). But most people want a meaningful relationship, and you will need to find someone with the maturity to accept your geeky hobby (because it comes with a guy who is intelligent, witty, thoughtful, imaginative, blah blah blah). That, or a gamer girl. But it might take some time. And hanging out with the "chaff", if this is what this girl is, will help you develop the skills for to woo the girl you really want, when she finally comes along.

The Exchange

SteveO wrote:

This is gold guys!!!!!

But don't worry, in the short time since i started this thred i've come to realise that,
A- im not gonna marry this girl and
B- gaming is me...and i love it!

So after another great Monday "Boys Night" of gaming(AOW)if a chick dont like it.....tough! Cos im gonna play either way.

And this is a note for any woman out there(if any)reading this thred,
Gaming chicks are sexy!!
Nothing like a nice par of D20's in a girls hand to get the night rolling!

Good on you, Steve. I like a girl with a nice pair of d20's myself, too. :-)


I told my wife I gamed.
She doesn't game with me but doesn't mind - nor does she begrudge me the time I take to try and write for Dragon (operative word try - buts it fun so I keep trying).

But thats beside the point.
The point, is that in the 21st century there are plenty of pratical minded women out there who won't see gaming especially table top gaming as that bad.

Look at what lots of guys do:

Out drinking, gambling, smoking, doing drugs, drag racing, chasing other women.

A guy who schedules his time met and act social with friends over a game may not be a bad catch. Especially when compared, to drunken, STD carrying, drug addicted, debt ridden, womanizers.

I real that gaming and those othe activities aren't mutually exclusive - but there is only so much time in the day, a hard core gamer is a better bet for stability, commitment, and imagination.

Well thats what I keep telling my bride (shes buying it so far).


My Girlfriend was pretty cool about it. She 's kinda dorky too, so it worked out.
I basically just started leaving out some books, (monster manuals, thigns with cool pics) and she'd leaf through them and then start asking questions. Thene eventually I helped her make a character. Then when i was running a campaign I had ehr join the group. Its really cool now because my regular gaming group thinks she's totally awesome, (the fact that she triple 20'd a really hard dragon boss probably helps.) and she always joins in with a character whenever she's home from college. When her and I move in together we're gonna form our own gaming group and she requested I run a Forgotten realms game for her.

If you aren't this lucky i'd suggest leaving a couple books around, the artwork at leats will interets her and maybe get her asking questions. just don't get super geeky on her and start talking a million miles a minute. Ease her slowly and stay cool about it.


(Funniest thread ever!)

Listen to you guys... You make it sound like playing D&D is a shameful or illegal act of some sort.

(Leave books around to give her a hint... Let her know gently... LOL!!!)

C'mon! Just tell her you're into role-playing games. Tell her it's like a cross between playing A GAME OF RISK and READING A GOOD BOOK. It's certainly nothing to be evasive about... Some people go bowling, others go dancing, you go roleplaying. It's fun, instructive, and a great way to pass the time with some friends.

Again... Funniest thread EVER!! LOL!!

Ultradan


I just cut to the bottom of this, since I don't have a lot of time, but I look forward to reading the rest tomorrow. However, try something along these lines: *Ahem* "I play D&D."

Scarab Sages

Saern wrote:
However, try something along these lines: *Ahem* "I play D&D."

I agree, just add "it's like poker night, just a different game." If she wants to know more, start explaining the hobby from there, but just stating it as a matter of fact without mystery, reservation, or emberassment is the best way to handle it.


Saern wrote:
I just cut to the bottom of this, since I don't have a lot of time, but I look forward to reading the rest tomorrow. However, try something along these lines: *Ahem* "I play D&D."

Saern beat me to it.

I just tell people "I play D&D." It's my hobby and my passion, and I'm damn proud of the fact I enjoy playing it.

Yeah. Now and then I meet people that are all "D&D is SATAN!", or come at it from some psycho babble. I walk away from them like I would a bad penny. I just don't need it.


SteveO wrote:

Gaming chicks are sexy!!

*blushes* Why, thank you!

I met hubby when I was fifteen and we've been playing D&D together ever since (nearly 26 years...). So keep on hunting--there's a gamer chick out there just for you!

--Fang


I love my Gamer Chick. She's totally cool. I did tell my girlfriend off the bat I played D&D. My suggestions were more for her how to get her interested. She would get curious if she saw me leveling up or when i'd stop at borders to check a new book. I definitely think the best bet is to be open at the start. After the start though i wanted to let her get interested in D&D through her own curiousity rather than me shoving a player's handbook down her throat.


Though there are also bunch of significant others who are not actually interested in gaming but don't mind the other doing it either (unless it starts to consume too large amounts of time and money...).

If both gaming and girlfriend is part of your life, they should know of each other. And if your girlfriend insists that you cut ties with your friends (especially friends she hasn't actually met and doesn't know), run. That's nothing but trouble.

The Exchange

Ultradan wrote:

(Funniest thread ever!)

Listen to you guys... You make it sound like playing D&D is a shameful or illegal act of some sort.

(Leave books around to give her a hint... Let her know gently... LOL!!!)

C'mon! Just tell her you're into role-playing games. Tell her it's like a cross between playing A GAME OF RISK and READING A GOOD BOOK. It's certainly nothing to be evasive about... Some people go bowling, others go dancing, you go roleplaying. It's fun, instructive, and a great way to pass the time with some friends.

Again... Funniest thread EVER!! LOL!!

Ultradan

Maybe we need Gamers Anonymous.

"Hi, my name is Aubrey, and I, er, am addicted to D&D." Claps all round.

I think for those of us who are older, there isn't really that much pressure to fit in so we don't care. i think if you are younger, peer pressure makes us want to look "cool", not "geeky". So it maybe isn't as easy as that, at first glance. Actually, it is as easy as that, but you need to get your confidence to realise.

Scarab Sages

Aubrey the Malformed wrote:
"Hi, my name is Aubrey,...

"Hi, Aubrey"

Liberty's Edge

Bill Hendricks wrote:
Aubrey the Malformed wrote:
"Hi, my name is Aubrey,...
"Hi, Aubrey"

Hi,Aubrey

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