Kintargo's Ravens; a Hells Rebels Game.

Game Master Tark the Ork

The woman shakes her head paralyzed with fear as she tentatively makes her way down the side of the alley before taking off at a full sprint towards the docks.

When she gets out of sight you take a moment to assess the carnage around you when the air above erupts into a modest applause.

"Bravo! Bravo! And so our drama of murderous conspiracy, human jealousy, and draconic dillema has come to a close. But what of the captain bound to his ship by unjust edict? Will his wife with full knowledge of his bloody intent flee into the arms of an alleged lover or appeal to the authority of the dottari for aid? As for our would be dragon hunters what do these events speak of their character? Well other than a lack of a sense of humor and a discomforting comfort with making already pathetically short lives shorter perhaps the fact that they'll play into the game and save a woman's life in the process means they're not all that bad. What say you oh befuddled and bewildered audience?"

The voice comes from above you in a clear and well practiced voice. The echoes off the walls of the alley make it difficult to pin point from where exactly.

Had a busy weekend. Got some catching up to do!

Litsy is actually rather surprised by the sheer amount of blood that pours from the guy's wound. She hadn't planned to cut that deeply.

She takes a step back as he topples over, still laughing hysterically -though his chuckles soon turn to something closer to gurgling. Why did she even go for the throat? She wanted him incapacitated, not dead - and standing behind him like that, she certainly couldn't see what she was doing...

She looks away as the guy convulses. She's seen enough to never get a goodnight's sleep for the rest of her life, and it doesn't take a genius to figure out that even Borgan would have had trouble patching that up.

Her gaze meets the one of the terrified woman. "Welcome to Kintargo. Keeping our own streets safe, and... All that."

LITSY! Beorn is shocked at her cutting the thug's throat. We had him helpless and we could make him surrender. His fool of a companion threw away his chance to live and so paid the price, but we could have made the same offer to that one. Beorn sees if magical healing would save the thug's life.

"Helpless? He was about to get up, I wasn't going to risk him turning around and stabbing me!" Litsy protests, but her typical bite is lacking. "I was just defending my- oh, shoot. I thought I'd knock him out." she exhales. "Let's just pretend he'd have make more victims if I let him go." She finally notices what Variel and Beorn did to the other guy. "... You're not setting an example either," she mumbles, and shakes her head.

She scrubs the blood furiously off her rapier before sheathing it and turns away, happy to let Beorn take care of tending to the dead and console the living. The latter she's never been good at.

Variel will help Litsy strip the men for valuables and pile the bodies in a corner. I know these thugs deserved what they got but at some point we are going to need saps to knock people out and redeem the rather then just killing them.

Litsy is uncharacteristically uninterested in searching the men's pockets, though she does pick up the purse left by the dragon in the middle of the street, helping Variel find lost coins. "Yeah, yeah they deserved it," she repeats morosely. "Probably. Good murder, bad murder - like, what's the difference? And why do I care? You think they should be redeee~med, I say if I had to get my knickers in a twist for every f!@$er in this town, I'll still be running around when all Gods are dead. Knock 'em out, let someone else kill them or throw them in the clink - whatever. I don't want to have a corpse on my hands or a head that needs to be screwed back on right. Do I look like f~@+ing Mother Theresa? *"

Perhaps she would have continued with her rant, were it not for a disembodied voice that makes her jump to her feet, all gloom briefly forgotten as she looks frantically for whoever's taunting them. Perception: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (14) + 6 = 20

" That f@#$er again," she mutters to Variel through gritted teeth. "F#%!. An audience means eyewitnesses. And we already let go of one."

[*The abbess of the last convent dedicated to Milani in Kintargo. Famous for proclaiming that one could not live up to the goddess's teachings of rebellion and sacrifice while confined indoors, leading to the dismantling of the order of the Bleeding Heart after just four years of existence. An urban legend to some**, her name has nevertheless become synonymous with great martyrdom for most inhabitants of Kintargo - though few would speak of her publicly, especially if Hell Guards are within earshot.
** The House of Thrune greatly encourage subjects to think of her as an urban legend, and indeed one that proves the foolishness of the cult of Milani and its unruly followers.]

Well then, I say we look into starting a thrilling court-room drama where we plumb the depths of Cheliax law to seek a way to end such a foolish edict! Plenty of powdered wigs for everyone and gavels to thump on tables! Beorn addresses the invisible thief. Perhaps can can come up with a witty title..such as Kintargo Law!

"That doesn't sound entertaining! Every case would just end with a dramatic gavel thump and the judge uttering in a monotone and I sentence you to death by impalement Whether the accused is innocent or not. Much more entertaining if the accused is sleeping with half the courtroom including the judge and the magistrate. But we're veering wildly off track! Because whether or not you realize it you did two good deeds today. Saving a strangers life and foiling the conspiracy to have her killed. Your mothers would be proud of you I'm sure. Not their mothers mind you, but that's a concern for the gods I think."

Litsy glances at the two bloodied corpses. "Yeah, hurray for the good deeds." Is it the dragon speaking, or could it be someone standing on a roof, or something like that?

"So what's your deal? Why the interest in us?"

It sounds like its coming from one of the roofs above. To discern more than that you'd need a check of either sense motive or perception.

"My interest in you? Did I barge into your home rummaging through all the cubbies, crawling underneath all the tables, hm? Did I threaten you with violence and chase you halfway across the district going into detail about wearing your skin as gloves? No no no no no the question is what business you have blundering into the lairs of dragons! It can't be all violence and profit, though the possibility is still open! Afterall you take a joke about as well as an eogorian magistrate with half the subtlety."

I did roll a Perception check to locate where the voice was coming from in my post on Monday, GM. But if you need another one :

Perception: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (6) + 6 = 12

It's not your lair, it's a human tavern. That you messed with by making people fight!"

She sighs and rubs her temples. " Look, you may have been there first. I don't know. I don't care. Point is, you just can't go around putting spells on people. You really wondered why someone might have wanted to kick you out?"

Diplomacy: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (5) + 8 = 13

Jokes and tricks are fine, but the ruckus you caused would get the Hellknights involved. They are the ultimate no-fun-allowed types and shut down things like singing at festivals and make people bow to their queen.

oops my bad

The voice gasps in mock surprise.

"A human tavern! And here I thought all those humans were just breaking into my house drinking all my beer and eating all my food." It laughs. "You act as if it's some grand act of trickery or evil sorcery that makes you fight. Humans will go to war over just about anything; gold, females, the pungent scent of wine. All I'm doing is waking people up to their passion! Their fire! The one thing that makes your short pathetic lives worth it even as you enthusiastically endeavor to make them shorter! I also happen to get a lot of entertainment value out if too, bit that's beside the point! My last lair was filled with intelligence! Laughter! Life! Witty repartee about the social contract between ruler and ruled. Vigorous debate about the definition of freedom and how it fits under archfiendish rule! Literal brawling over the socio-economic status of tieflings in mating pairs with full blooded humans and the resulting hatchlings."

The voice sighs wistfully.

"I didn't have to do anything there. It'd make what you're calling a ruckus seem but a gentle breeze compared to that tempest. Before it was burned to the ground at least."

Knowledge (local): 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (18) + 7 = 25

Litsy furrows her brow, ponders for a while, then snaps her fingers. "Oh, you mean the Laughing Badger? Must have been something. I've heard people say stage shows only went downhill from there."

Though she spent many a night spying on shows from a crack in the roof (with Connor usually begrudgingly following along and complaining the whole time, but that was beside the point), she only heard someone bemoan the loss of the Laughing Badger a couple of times -usually in an advanced state of inebriety. Some of them she never saw coming back to a show again, especially after the Hellknights started to patrol closer to the streets where most taverns and theatres could be found.

It had been about twelve years since the Laughing Badger had been reduced to ashen ruins -of course, politically controversial buildings tended to catch fire easily in those days. "What if I told you the people who've destroyed your former lair have destroyed mine too? And all three of us are interested in messing with them? Does that sound better than making silverware fly in a tavern kitchen?"

Diplomacy: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (20) + 8 = 28

Well played! Your rolling luck is back!

Beorn seriously considers enrolling Litsy in his patron's school! Her verbal skills and excellent and should be developed. He does think she should wear her new dress when she is introduced so she makes a good impression.

The fairy dragon pops up on the lip of the roof above with all the grace and arrogance of a cat. It sits on the edge of the roof it's butterfly wings vibrating agitatedly as it looks down from it's perch.

"Oh? At first you had my curiosity. Now you have my interest. Do tell."

Completely out of his league Variel just keeps an eye on the situation from behind Litsy. Should the dragon attack of make a threatening move then he will try and react accordingly. As long as this is just conversation though he keeps quiet.

Beorn lets Litsy take the lead. Clearly she has the annoying lizard in the palm of her hand.

Feels weird to imagine the dragon talking like Mr. Candie lol

"You seen The Merrie Men of Embeth Forest? It's a brand new production. Dramatis personae is your usual ragtag team of misfits, but it's set in a contemporary city. Story stays more or less the same - all about taking revenge on an evil king and so on. Mystery, adventure, drama, mischief - and gold."

"How about we head back to the tavern we've just come from, and discuss matters further in a more private space? Then you can decide if you want to be part of the crew or not."

The fairy dragon puts a claw to it's chin thoughtfully.

"I'm willing to talk things over somewhere other than a murder scene. But first! There's something that must be done before the curtains can fall on this particular drama. I need to uphold my word even if her ambition is larger than her skillset allows. And in the end things did work out for the better."

The dragon points down at Beorn and calls out in a voice as melodramatic as a stage devil handing out a proclamation.

"You must kiss the elf!"

Woot!

"That's an idea of the slightly blonder elf? If her matchmaking skills are as good as her acting, there won't be much to see..." Litsy bites down on her thumb, waiting for something to happen.

Bluff (Pass Secret Message): 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (16) + 10 = 26

Beorn Only (but Sense Motive, DC 26 for Pseudodragon or Variel):

Beorn's eyebrow arches as he hears the demand and sighs. So it seems our new ally has requirements! One being an assault on my virtue. Beorn poses dramatically, one hand over his eyes. Such a crude request would normally be scoffed at, but I am now embroiled in a battle where I must make hard choices such as these for the greater good. He drops his hand and sighs. I shall agree to the terms. But I must insist.. He points dramatically. No tongue!

sense motive 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (5) + 8 = 13

So wait...this whole thing was just to make Beorn kiss Merelda? All of the parlor tricks and phantasmal events were so you can play match maker? I am so confused. I would think having Castor or Pollux kiss Merelda would make for more entertainment.

So are we now trying to recruit the undead psuedodragon or is this just a ploy to get it to come down within striking distance? I hope Litsy knows what she is doing.

Hahaha I forgot Variel was human and thought the pseudodragon meant that Merelda wanted Beorn to kiss Variel

"I think nothing prevents your virtue from telling her to f@*# off, really."

"Not my decision." The dragon states matter of factly. "I am merely ensuring that she has her request granted. The details are beyond my control. Besides you tormented the poor girl enough. See you there!"

With that the fairy dragon takes off from.it's perch and buzzes off at a speed which would have been impossible to keep up with on foot.

Wait, we tormented Merelda? It seemed like she was tormenting us. Besides what just happened right now. I thought we were chasing it to destroy it and now it looks like Litsy and it are best friends?

I rather doubt they are friends. As for tormenting Merelda, I believe denying her a romp was extreme torment. Let us head back and see if we can at long last get something productive done. Beorn starts heading back to the bar.

At the bar things have started to get cleaner. Ron has come in and after some hurried explanation, white lies, and some assurances they would clean the mess before service started in earnest he kept his rage to a low boil as he went to the kitchens tossed out the ashen remains of what was in the pan and got to work preparing for the afternoon crowd. As they get close to putting things nore or less back in place the rest of the group saunters back in.

Wait, we tormented Merelda? It seemed like she was tormenting us. Besides what just happened right now. I thought we were chasing it to destroy it and now it looks like Litsy and it are best friends?

Litsy exhales deeply after the dragon finally leaves, as if their conversation took a lot from her and she's only just now able to release the tension that's been building up inside of her.

Offering to recruit the dragon to their cause was a one-in-a-million shot, and she's surprised it even worked considering how fast she'd had to refocus on talking with the annoying little creature and trying to negotiate. Which doesn't prevent her from rolling her eyes at Variel's confusion. Sometimes, she'd swear he was trying to be naive on purpose. How he'd survive this long in Kintargo without being betrayed and stabbed in the back was anyone's guess.

This was one of the times she really missed Connor not being around. He didn't need to have stuff explained to him as often, and he more than held his ground as far as negotiations were concerned. Perhaps not quite as good as she did -unlike her, he always had trouble with the complicated lingo charlatans and street peddlers know how to use to obfuscate their clientele. But he had been the one who had genuinely knew how to talk to the kids without having to buy their loyalty, and that was a trick she had never managed to reproduce in spite of her best efforts. That was why everything went to s#@& when he was gone. There was nobody else who didn't think of human relations as primarily transactional.

"Let me recap," she offers helpfully, after double-checking that the dragon was gone. "We've chased this thing for hours without so much as nicking it. It can turn invisible, it can fly at very high speeds, it can make stuff move without touching it and go where grown men certainly can't fit it. Where I come from, that type of skills gets you hired on the spot, if you're too useful to be pissed off at. That doesn't mean," she lifts one finger. "That it's not risky. So, I bought us some time."

"We know it's used to fine arts, especially the ones that aren't too kind with human politics. It's interested in gold. And it's terribly bored. Three things that could rally it to our cause, if we play our cards well. It's fond of mischief, but it's terribly self-centered, and we need to make sure it won't betray us to anyone who'd pay it more. We need to sell it a story."

"Beorn, you insist on what Thrune did to the opera and the theatres. Tell it it's about saving the arts before they start gutting people for singing a ditty. If we let them win, and we help them in any way, there'll never be another Laughing Badger. Everyone will live bored as f~+@, and then die. I'll keep playing the 'undercover hero' card, because..." she glances at Variel and shakes her head. "It's not like anyone else can do it, for once, right? Can't catch a break around here." Just for a moment, her face contorts in something looking like anguish before she regains her composure.

"We need to figure out exactly what we tell it or not before we go in. Maybe it's best not to mention any of the other teams and where they're at until we're sure it won't rat on us. And pray the Gods the elf or Pollux don't have the good idea to join in."

"And if everything goes pear-shaped -well, now we've got a chance to regroup in a more confined space. You're welcome."

"Oh we gave up on good ideas long ago. Too many ideas to bother rating them"

Pollux wanders towards the door. "Did you catch your friend that isn't?" The stranger feels in their pockets. [b]"It appears they stole a pouch that once belonged to a diva. It was useful."

The dragon allowed himself to be captured and might join us in our goal to give the boot to Thrune. Hopefully telling him that violent debate and the freedom to curse from the rooftops while covered in candy will come to end end under Thrune's rule will keep him around.

The dragon allowed himself to be captured and might join us in our goal to give the boot to Thrune. Hopefully telling him that violent debate and the freedom to curse from the rooftops while covered in candy will come to end end under Thrune's rule will keep him around.

Just to be clear...is this a conversation happening in front of...or generally near Merelda?

I guess we can fill you in on what happened.

Turning over a chair, Merelda sighs as she sees yet more fish heads and vows (yet again) to buy a wand of Prestidigitation as soon as possible.

Turning to Beorn after his statement, Merelda smirks.

"That's a thought, but the dragon is really just looking for a good time and maybe a new lair. I think he said his current 'hoard' has outgrown this place. Really, it was all I could do to prevent Vendelfek (the mightiest dragon in Kintargo) from causing an all out panic during 'happy hour' here. Our little private 'seance' was meant to deter all that."

Stopping suddenly, Merelda's mouth hangs open for second.

"Wait. Does that mean...you guys are in 'the resistance'? FINALLY. I've been looking for you people since I got to Kintargo! My High Priestess back in Kyonin heard about what is happening here and could not let such insolence go unpunished! I'm here...technically...to help exact vengeance for the church of Calistria. Our people have been murdered, or forced to convert against their will, and our shrines desecrated! I personally will not stand for it any longer, and my goddess WILL have her revenge. Truthfully, I think its always a really BAD idea to piss off the goddess of free choice, hedonism, and revenge...if you ask me."

Smiling delicately, Merelda's eyebrows raise in curiosity.

"So? Is that YOU and your friends...Beard boy? Are you helping to fight this evil imperialism, and supporting freedom and independence?"[/b]

Diplomacy: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (10) + 5 = 15

"If your church's best is a bad actress who blew her own con, that's going to be a quick job interview," Litsy retorts nonchalantly -at this point, even a proper sarcastic delivery seems to require too much effort. "Speaking of. Is the dragon here? We still have things left to discuss."

Merelda laughs raucously and points at the little woman.

"Best? Honey...I'm pretty sure they just wanted to get rid of me! I'm also more than sure the High Priestess thought this was a 'two birds-one stone' situation. I'm an Inquisitor, not a high falutin' priestess...or an actor (goddess save me). I do what I'm told by the hierarchy of my church for my goddess' sake, as best I can. Not because I'm the best choice! Besides, if my goddess didn't want me to take a trip to Kintargo and get myself killed fighting for dead parishioners, then I'm pretty sure she would have made her wishes known by now."

She then holds up three fingers ticking them off in time with her words:

"Either my goddess doesn't care one way or the other...she admires the High Priestess's gall to get her revenge on me AND accomplish her will...or she truly believes I'm the best person for the job. However you want to swing THAT cudgel...I could care less in the end. If I can mess up the day for the Thrunies and maybe keep the city from imploding in on itself, then I call that a win! AND...I get to go back home and throw my success in the High Priestess' face! Success is always the sweetest revenge in my book. Failure...happens. How you deal with it, and learn from it, is what makes you wiser and stronger."

She smiles and grabs Beorn's elbow gently.

"Take you lot! I've learned not to underestimate you now...or that dragon. He's quite a card. It would have been a LOT more fun if you had fallen for the scam I concocted, but in the end it was mostly the dragon's show. Truthfully...I think he's a bit lonely too."

Well I guess we are caught dead to rights. My goal is to defend the weak and annoy the powerful, both goals that will certainly be fulfilled in this city.

If the dragon has come back it has chosen not to speak as if waiting for certain cues.

Smoochie-smoochie time!

Pollux, still reading. Reverses in their chair until their legs are over the back. The play held over their face as their back rests on the hard seat of the chair. They speak in a calm matter of fact voice. "The city is as doomed as we are. If we ignore the Mayor the city is ground to obedient dust. If we kill the Mayor, Thrune sends the army and the city is ground to obedient dust. If you seek success then flee..There is only failure here."

Beorn places a hand over his face dramatically. So it has come time to pay the piper and have a kiss placed upon your lips. Very well, let your passion be quenched, relax in my arm and close thine eyes, imagining the sweet caresses of my bewhiskered lips.

Eyes narrowing, Merelda steps closer to Beorn and peers into his...beard...then when he lifts his hand, his eyes.

Sense Motive: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (13) + 6 = 19

My first half-decent roll! I'm going to assume that's good enough to see Beorn's opinion of the matter.

She sighs realistically.

"I cannot accept your 'offer'...yet. You must want it. You must want ME. Really WANT the kiss, for it to mean anything to me at all. Lust is not evil beard-boy, but maybe I can teach you more about its many uses and positive merits in the near future. Let me teach you to be a beard-MAN, and you will not regret it! I swear my goddess' unending vengeance upon myself if I am lying."

She spins dramatically, and looks at the others.

"Assuming there might be room in your organization for someone of my capabilities? At the least, I'm not a bad fighter and can do some minor healing magic. My biggest assets...not THOSE...are my knowledge. As an Inquisitor of Calistria I have been taught weaknesses to many a creature, beast, or..."

She looks over her shoulder pointedly at Pollux, then his rat.

"Witch."

She turns again suddenly, then goes and grabs Sasha's hand.

"What about you dear girl? Wanna join up and put Kintargo back on the maps as an Independent city?"

I don't know if we have lost Sasha's character or not, but I did want to leave the door open if she was still around.

Keeping an eye out for the dragon, Litsy takes in the state of disarray the room is in. "Looks a lot messier than when we left. What happened?" she questions Pollux.

Merelda shrugs and winks at Litsy. She then throws her a smelly cloth with multiple stains of unknown nature still on it.

"See what we have to work with? Cleaning...its a process I guess. Right? So...Grab a bucket and start filling it with fish heads? The smell we should get out easily enough with the turpentine this place sells as liquor. Unless you have some magic to help us?"

She then picks up yet ANOTHER fish head and sighs while she tosses it in a bucket.

"Magic's your deal," Litsy tosses the cloth back at Merelda, but not with enough strength to reach her. It lands on some table. "And the dragon may be here. If he's willing to come out."

She surveys the exposed beams, and, on the off-chance it might work, knocks a very specific pattern on the nearest table.

Actually magic is my deal Litsy. With a flourish of a hand and a few incantations the fish smell disappears and is replaced with the earthy tone of the dirt floor. Variel continues to cast the spell in different areas of the room as spilled alcohol, blood, discarded seance rituals pieces all get swept up and removed.

As he goes about the clean up he looks at Merelda and Beorn. Any thing that happens at this point is just a staged performance for an audience of 1. You two needs to just kiss and get it over with. Make it staged kiss full of fake passion. Just get it over with so we can continue this farce and make a plan going forward.

perception for dragon 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (20) + 8 = 28

A little music for the cleaning

Beorn sighs and grabs Merealda by the waist and pulls her in before planting the kiss Count Roblar gave Maiden Gwen during the play 'Quickblade'.

Getting into the 'Role' Merelda rolls her eyes and plays along for now, knowing something better might happen later...

After the kiss, she leans back into Beorn's arms and lays the back of her hand upon her forehead.

"Such MANLINESS! I'm swooning..."

She then pats the man on the bearded cheek gently and wiggles her eyebrows suggestively.

"Not a bad start, but we can improve upon it I think. Yes?"

"I mean I honestly didn't care one way or another." a teeny voice calls from the rafters. The fairy dragon appearing on one of the candle lit fixtures above the wreckage of the table. "I didn't write that particular portion of the script and I think the director scribbled "wing it" in the margins. I just have to keep my portion of the agreement as it were. Ah it seems your crazed friend found all the stage rigging. You can do a lot with some wire, some springs, and a few simple cantrips. Shame it'll take hours to put everything back in place."

Giggling a bit at the dragon's ability to gloss over some important details, she waves and bows.

"Greetings again Vendelfek the Mighty! Don't forget it was YOUR idea to lead them out into the city too. Did you at least let them get their pilfered items back? You never told me about that either! My idea was to scam them of some coins and maybe bruise a few gullible egos. You never told me about major pick-pocketing! Theft! You took my sword too! That was...uncouth of you dear scaly one. Amazingly well done of course, but still uncouth against a partner in criminality. Next time, cut me in for a percentage...and let me help!"

She waves at the semi-clean bar and points at Variel.

"You will soon have a much cleaner lair than even before this debacle thanks to this man Variel. Even though that's not saying much of this place. Still, dung-heap to trash-heap is still upward improvement. Right?"

"Shame. If you're the type to prefer going solo, I'm not sure being part of a clandestine troupe specializing in controversial material is going to interest you very much. We need someone who can be discreet and keep a secret... Someone who doesn't want to see this place turned into a Laughing Badger II."

Bluff: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (4) + 10 = 14